"Wait, wait, wait."
[Yare yare daze, good thing my self-control was pretty strong the past few days. I managed to hold back and didn't blow up the apartment…]
Saiki Kusuo scratched his head. He felt like his emotions had been exploding more severely lately. He needed to restrain himself a bit.
Saiki walked to a fork in the road and looked left and right.
[Which way was it again?]
"Dokon Demon, Dokon Demon, ally of justice…"
(This voice!!)
After hearing the familiar voice, Saiki's expression grew serious. He leaped up, flipped over to the other side of the wall, and held himself in place with one hand.
The source of the voice was a chubby-cheeked, buzz-cut little kid.
Shin-chan stopped, sniffed left and right with his nose.
"Hm, why does this smell feel so familiar? It's like I've smelled it somewhere before. Was it someone I know who was just hiding here?"
(You can even smell that? Are you a dog?)
"Hm~ Whatever, I'll go this way!"
Shin-chan sniffed for a bit longer, then continued humming his song and walked off.
"Dokon Demon, Dokon Demon…"
[He left? Just to be safe, I'll stay here another two minutes.]
Saiki thought while hanging on the wall.
"You… who are you!"
The sliding door curtain of the house behind Saiki opened.
A youthful, energetic woman was startled to see someone who looked exactly like a burglar—Saiki—hanging on her fence.
Saiki: …
The woman rubbed her eyes. When she opened them again, Saiki was already gone.
Saiki had leaped back into the air, spun twice mid-flight, and returned to his original position.
The moment he landed, he heard the familiar voice again.
"Oh oh, what a coincidence!"
[Why are you here! Didn't you just leave?]
Saiki turned his head and saw Shin-chan clapping and cheering on the side.
"Ehehe~ Nah, I just felt that path wasn't right for me, so I came back."
"Long time no see, Naniki Kusuo-oniichan."
[I'm Saiki Kusuo.]
Shin-chan nodded and replied: "Oh oh, nice name. When did you change it?"
[I never changed it.]
"So since it's such a coincidence, Naniki-oniichan, let's…"
[It's Saiki… If there's nothing else, I'm leaving. Even if there is something, I'm still leaving.]
After saying that, Saiki walked straight ahead. Seeing this, Shin-chan hurriedly followed.
"Wait up, Saiki-oniichan."
[I'm not waiting.]
Saiki sped up, ducked around a corner, and hid beside a vending machine. Shin-chan chased after him but didn't see anyone.
Shin-chan's chubby cheeks puffed out as he walked nearby: "Jeez, why'd you walk so fast? What if you got lost! You're such a big kid already."
(You're the one who shouldn't get lost.)
Shin-chan ran straight past, leaving only his voice behind.
"Saiki-oniichan…"
Saiki stepped out.
[This kid might turn back. Better leave now. But as long as I don't run into any annoying stuff, he won't be able to catch me.]
Just a few steps down another path, a gray-haired delinquent spotted Saiki walking toward him with great interest and flashed a smile.
Gray-hair [Haven't had money lately. Looking at this pompadour guy, he's probably a high schooler. Later I'll pretend he bumped into me, fall down, and extort some cash from him.]
(Yare yare daze, why does it have to be right now?)
Saiki showed no reaction and walked straight toward the gray-hair who was grinning at him.
When only two steps remained between them—
The gray-hair finally moved. He shifted his elbow to the right, trying to bump into Saiki.
Unfortunately, Saiki sidestepped and dodged.
The gray-hair frowned.
Then he pretended to trip with his left foot, swinging his right foot backward toward Saiki to fake a collision. But Saiki hopped sideways and avoided it again.
"Ouch!"
The gray-hair on the ground calmed down in 0.2 seconds, then unwillingly stretched out his leg for a low sweep.
Gray-hair [You brat, let's see how you dodge this. Then I'll say you deliberately tripped me and attacked me with a sweep.]
(This is the classic villain complaining first. How could I kick you when I'm behind you?)
Saiki simply did a big bird spread wings pose, lightly leaped with both legs, and dodged.
"Argh!!"
The gray-hair's temper flared. Unwilling to give up, he glared at Saiki, then swung his fist toward the back of Saiki's head.
"Oof oof, why did my hand suddenly go forward?"
Saiki tilted his head slightly. The punch grazed past.
(Next time before you make an excuse, at least check how obvious your swing is.)
"Damn it!!"
Seeing his repeated attacks do nothing, the gray-hair flew into a rage and charged forward.
"You brat, stand still!"
The gray-hair kept swinging his fists wildly, but he couldn't touch a single hair on Saiki. His attacks grew more frantic, slowly shifting from fake extortion to genuine fury.
[Seriously, I didn't want to do this, but you're so annoying.]
The gray-hair threw another punch.
"Take this, you damn jerk! Accept my righteous iron fist!!"
[Don't act like it's my fault.]
Saiki teleported behind him, reached out, and lightly tapped "bonk" on the gray-hair's neck.
The gray-hair lost consciousness instantly. Saiki grabbed him by the collar with one hand.
"Saiki-oniichan!!"
Shin-chan watched in shock from the side.
[Damn it, he still found me. This is all your fault.]
Saiki set the gray-hair aside and gave him a kick. He had already led him to a corner with very little foot traffic.
"Saiki-oniichan, how did you do that? You just 'bonked' the back of his neck and he passed out!"
[I didn't. You saw wrong. He just got heatstroke.]
"Liar!"
[I'm not lying to you. Adults don't lie to kids.]
"…Fine then, let's go find a police officer!"
Shin-chan walked over and happened to spot a police officer riding a bicycle nearby.
"Officer! Officer! Someone fainted here!"
"Oh, it's Shin-chan. Where's the person?"
The bicycle-riding officer seemed to know Shin-chan. He quickly arrived at the scene and saw the gray-hair slumped against the wall.
"Excuse me, what happened here?"
After getting off his bike, the officer looked at Saiki and asked. After all, aside from Shin-chan, he was the only adult present.
[Nothing. This guy just suddenly got heatstroke and fainted while walking.]
"Heatstroke?"
[Yes, yes, that's right.]
Saiki rarely lied. Normally, if he could tell the truth, he would. He vaguely remembered the last time he lied was… last time.
The officer looked at Shin-chan nearby: "Is that what happened, Shin-chan?"
Shin-chan: "Mm-hm, that's right. Earlier Saiki-oniichan put his hand on his neck, and then…"
Saiki stepped forward, picked up Shin-chan, and spoke softly beside him.
[Don't say anything extra. Whatever you say next is what happened.]
"Eh, really? ( ˝ᗢ̈˝ )"
Officer: "And then what?"
Shin-chan said with a straight face: "And then this big brother got heatstroke. Saiki-oniichan helped him over here."
...
After the officer took the person away, Saiki put Shin-chan down.
Shin-chan steadied himself on the ground, patted his butt, looked at Saiki, and started asking: "So, what do you want from me?"
[Isn't it you looking for me?]
"Oh oh."
Shin-chan nodded, then asked again: "So what did I want from you, Saiki-oniichan…?"
Saiki held his head, feeling a massive headache.
...