In the end, Melina left just as she always did—quietly arriving, quietly departing, leaving nothing behind.
He unfolded his map and reviewed his route.
Although he was currently at the Smoldering Church on the edge of Caelid, he still needed to return to Stormhill.
After all—
He couldn't possibly skip Margit.
While he was at it, he drafted a new plan.
The plan?
Simple.
Collect the shards of the Elden Ring.
First, defeat Godrick.
Then pay a visit to the Academy of Raya Lucaria to see his mother-in-law, Rennala. Collect some Runes along the way.
After that, find his second wife, Ranni.
Then challenge General Radahn.
Visit the Royal Capital.
Take a detour through Volcano Manor.
Stop by Mohgwyn Palace.
Climb Miquella's Haligtree.
Gather the Dragon Balls—
No, wait.
Gather the Great Runes.
Finally return to Leyndell and head underground to locate the Three Fingers.
Then burn the Erdtree.
Become Elden Lord.
Along the way, he would reunite with those familiar and dear figures—
Gather them together once more.
Perfect plan.
Wait.
What about the Dung Eater?
…No.
Let's not.
If possible, he would avoid the sewers of Leyndell entirely. The smell and filth were beyond description.
As for that disgusting Rune of the Dung Eater—
Hard pass.
The Elden Ring didn't need that kind of addition.
And Goldmask?
Even worse.
A law born of handcrafting and cold logic. No emotion. No love.
A "perfect" order?
Utter nonsense.
What were he and his wives supposed to be—soulless mechanisms in some grand machine?
That route was not part of his plan.
"Good. The plan is flawless. Let's begin."
Just as he prepared to teleport—
A notification appeared in the chat.
[Group Notice: Reincarnator items have been added to the shop.]
Fujiwara Chika: "?"
Forever Seventeen: "?"
Otto Apocalypse: "?"
NorthNorthNorth: "?"
The Oldest King: "Oh? Reincarnator items? Now that is intriguing."
Forever Seventeen: "Ara, Mr. Tarnished just completed a mission and unlocked new content for the chat. Meanwhile, I had to finish so many tasks to unlock features before. So unfair~"
The Tarnished Who Wants to Save His Wife: "…?"
He tilted his head.
What was that supposed to mean?
Was she implying he was some kind of hidden admin?
If he had that much authority, would he still be stuck looping endlessly without saving Melina?
He would have long since taken his wives and left this cursed world behind.
At this point, he ignored the so-called "Seventeen-Year-Old Girl" and opened the shop.
"Let's see…"
He was genuinely curious about the items those reincarnators once possessed.
The first item immediately caught his eye.
[Sharingan] – Origin: Naruto.
An eye capable of copying ninjutsu.
He had no idea what ninjutsu even was—but he was fairly certain none of it existed in the Lands Between.
The eye also granted enhanced dynamic vision, allowing one to track attack trajectories.
And hypnosis.
Useless.
Did he rely on eyesight to fight?
Either he brute-forced through enemies—
Or he died enough times to memorize their entire moveset.
As for hypnosis—
He had an entire stockpile of Bewitching Branches gathering dust.
And even then, such tricks likely wouldn't affect demigods.
There were advanced forms as well.
Mangekyō Sharingan.
Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan.
Rinnegan.
Even more useless.
Black flames that never extinguished?
Were they stronger than Destined Death or the Flame of Ruin?
Gravitational manipulation?
Better than gravity sorceries? Could it halt the stars?
Susanoo?
Apparently a giant spectral warrior.
Completely unnecessary.
Had they seen the Fire Giant guarding the Forge of the Giants?
He had killed that one six hundred and sixty-six times.
The next few items were equally underwhelming.
Hulk Gene—granted immense strength, increasing with anger.
He could already arm-wrestle Radahn.
Why would he need that?
Besides, rage led to madness.
The Mystic Eyes of Death Perception—
Clearly designed for assassins.
Not his style.
And if he accidentally cut a Great Rune in half?
That would be disastrous.
Then, finally—
One item caught his attention.
"Copy Eye?"
Capable of analyzing and replicating all magic.
Some overlap with the Sharingan, but for him—
This had potential.
Sorcery and incantations were central to his combat style.
There were countless spells he had never learned.
But then he noticed the small line beneath the description.
(PS: Magic and incantations from the Lands Between cannot be analyzed or copied.)
"…"
Was this a joke?
Was this targeted discrimination?
It had to be.
Below it were derivative items.
[Answerer of the Complete Formula (Alpha Mark)]
[Compiler of All Formulas (Omega Mark)]
Excellent items.
No restrictions.
Just—
The price.
He glanced at the lonely digits in the lower-right corner of his points display.
It was a tragic sight.
In short—
Either he couldn't afford them—
Or they weren't useful enough.
He closed the shop and returned to the chat, where discussion was ongoing.
Fujiwara Chika: "The new shop items all look amazing!"
The Oldest King: "They have some utility. But I have no need."
Aizen: "I agree with Mr. Gilgamesh. These items are of little use to me."
If anything, Aizen sought something closer to ultimate perfection.
He had briefly considered the Hulk Gene—
But recalling the green brute from the broadcast, he quickly dismissed the thought.
It did not align with his definition of beauty.
Otto Apocalypse: "They are interesting, but not especially practical."
NorthNorthNorth: "+1"
Fujiwara Chika: "Eh? Really?"
She slumped in her classroom seat, disappointed.
She had hoped to hear reviews from those who purchased something.
But no one seemed interested.
Even NorthNorthNorth had no intention of buying.
She forgot—
In this entire chat group, she was the only ordinary human.
Then a thought struck her.
"Oh right! Mr. Tarnished!"
Fujiwara Chika: "@The Tarnished Who Wants to Save His Wife — What did you buy?"
The Tarnished Who Wants to Save His Wife: "Can't afford."
Fujiwara Chika: "Oh… right. You just joined. You probably don't have many points…"
Fujiwara Chika: "Hehe, sorry. I forgot…"
The Tarnished Who Wants to Save His Wife: "..."
What was this?
Emotional damage?