Jie Uchiha was busy contemplating the village's future. Should he implement a Three Departments and Six Ministries system? A Grand Council? Or maybe a parliamentary cabinet?
Meanwhile, the Iwagakure delegation arrived at the Hidden Leaf with great fanfare.
"Is this how the Hidden Leaf treats an official delegation?!"
"They didn't even travel two hundred miles out to receive us! Are they looking down on Iwagakure?"
"Believe it or not, I'll message Lord Tsuchikage right now! I'll have him send troops to crush the Leaf!"
The moment they crossed the village boundaries, Toshijin began yelling at the top of his lungs.
"Toshijin, isn't this taking it a bit too far?" Kitsuchi asked, lowering his voice. He felt a surge of unease at his comrade's arrogant display. "Even weakened, a giant is still a giant. This is the Hidden Leaf we're talking about."
"What are you afraid of?" Toshijin waved off the concern. "The Leaf is acting like a bunch of spineless cowards right now. Do you really think they'd dare strike us?"
He puffed out his chest. "Honestly, if the Leaf shinobi actually had the guts to make a move, I'd respect them. Then Lord Tsuchikage would have the perfect excuse to mobilize the army! We'd rake in so many war reparations that our hands would cramp just counting it!"
"I hope you're right," Kitsuchi muttered. A trace of worry flashed through his eyes, but he kept his mouth shut. After all, this was the old man's direct order.
The Hidden Leaf had suffered disaster after disaster in recent years...the Nine-Tails' Attack, the war with Kumogakure, and now their own internal strife. Kitsuchi figured that if he were a Leaf shinobi dealing with the village's current state, he would probably swallow his pride against a domineering Iwa delegation, too.
Unfortunately for Toshijin, what he believed to be an intimidating display came across very differently to the observing Leaf shinobi.
To them, he just looked… pathetic.
"Is there something wrong with that Iwa ninja's head?" one of them muttered.
"Looks like it," another replied under his breath. "Calling him an idiot would be generous."
A few quiet snickers spread through the group.
'Iwagakure must be desperate…'
'They couldn't even find a sane shinobi, so they sent their village fool as an envoy.'
Watching Toshijin strut about, the Leaf shinobi exchanged glances, their expressions gradually shifting from mockery to something closer to pity.
'So that's why they came all this way… to beg for asylum.'
The thought settled almost unanimously among them, carrying a strange mix of sympathy and disdain.
These Iwa ninja were truly pitiful. To think they would deliberately send someone like this just to secure the Hidden Leaf's protection… it was almost touching, in a pathetic sort of way.
None of them had the slightest idea that the Iwa delegation was actually here to fleece them for resources.
Ever since Iwagakure surrendered in the Third Great Ninja War, the two villages had kept their distance.
The general consensus in the Leaf?... Iwa was spooked.
After seeing Kumogakure's recent, bloody defeat, they were likely scrambling for an alliance or a non-aggression pact.
No one seriously believed Iwa was here to pick a fight. Surely, they weren't stupid enough to willingly march themselves to the slaughter.
Then again, looking at their delegation, it was hard to tell.
If a fool like Toshijin could hold a high-ranking position, maybe all of Iwa's higher-ups were just as brain-dead. Honestly, the Leaf shinobi wouldn't mind if their enemies eagerly lined up to hand over their money and lives.
Watching the Leaf shinobi whisper among themselves without making a single move to greet them, Toshijin felt a surge of inexplicable fury.
"Does the Hidden Leaf no longer want peace?!" he roared, spinning around dramatically. "Fine! We're leaving right now! Just wait for Lord Tsuchikage's army to invade the Land of Fire!"
He struck a pose, acting fully prepared to storm off.
Internally, he was counting down the seconds. Any moment now, the Leaf shinobi would panic and beg him to stay. Once they did, he'd capitalize on their desperation, throw a massive fit, and squeeze even more benefits out of them for Iwagakure.
A long moment passed...
Toshijin froze.
Not a single Leaf shinobi had spoken up to stop him.
'Why aren't they begging me to stay?' he panicked inwardly. 'Are they really not afraid of war?!'
He was trapped. He had already made the threat. If he didn't leave now, he'd be the laughingstock of the village.
But if he actually walked away, this entire diplomatic trip would be a complete waste! And as for his threat of war?... A total bluff.
There was no way the Tsuchikage would actually mobilize an army over a minor spat at the gates.
Toshijin took a stiff, agonizingly slow step forward.
To his horror, the crowd remained utterly silent.
'Am I really going back empty-handed?!'
Meanwhile, the Leaf shinobi at the gates were just as confused.
"Hey, wasn't someone supposed to be in charge of receiving the Iwa delegation?" someone whispered.
"Did Lord Hokage not know they were arriving today?"
"Impossible. The Uchiha Police Force guarding the gates got the notice ages ago. There's no way the Hokage doesn't know."
"Could it be... Lord Hokage is looking down on the Iwa delegation? Like, purposely ignoring them as a show of strength?"
"Yeah, that has to be it."
Amidst the hushed chatter, the truth of the matter was far less calculated.
The Legendary Sannin, who had been officially assigned to receive the delegation, were simply nowhere to be found.
Neither Tsunade nor Jiraiya had taken the Iwagakure delegation seriously.
For the past few days, Tsunade had been haunting the Hidden Leaf's newly constructed casino, gambling—and losing—from dawn to dusk. Depressed and broke, she dragged herself to a new tavern and proceeded to drink herself into a stupor.
In her inebriated state, she happened to catch Jiraiya perched on a wall, peeping into the women's bathhouse.
The alcohol, combined with her foul mood, culminated in a single, devastating punch.
Crack!
Three of Jiraiya's ribs instantly snapped.
He was rushed to the Konoha Hospital that very night.
Once Tsunade sobered up and realized what she had done, she stayed at the hospital to provide emergency medical ninjutsu.
Because of this fiasco, the Iwa delegation was completely forgotten. Neither of them even realized the envoys were arriving today.
As for Orochimaru, his excuse was much simpler...he was deeply engrossed in his experiments and refused to be disturbed.
The Iwa delegation? Were they rare experimental materials?
No?
Then Orochimaru had no use for them. He simply ignored the assignment.
As a result, what was supposed to be the Sannin's first official joint assignment ended with the Iwagakure delegation being left high and dry at the village gates.
Back at the gates, Toshijin took another stiff step forward, moving at a pace that would make a turtle look fast. The exit was getting closer and closer, yet the Leaf shinobi remained completely silent.
'What do I do?! What do I do?!' Panic seized his chest. 'If I go back with my tail between my legs, Lord Tsuchikage will skin me alive! Damn these Leaf ninja, don't they have any manners?!'
Cold sweat soaked through his shirt. Once he crossed the threshold of the village gates, there would be no turning back.
"Toshijin, calm down," Kitsuchi finally spoke up, perfectly providing his comrade with an out. "The Hidden Leaf may not understand proper etiquette, but we of Iwagakure are here for the sake of peace."
If he really let Toshijin walk out those gates, this entire mission would be ruined.
"Hmph!" Toshijin exhaled a massive, silent sigh of relief.
He immediately stopped in his tracks, eagerly seizing the excuse to back down. "Fine! I'll let it slide this time for your sake, Kitsuchi! If it weren't for you, I would have definitely demanded Lord Tsuchikage march his troops on the Hidden Leaf!"
Watching the embarrassingly amateur theatrical performance conclude, the Leaf shinobi just glanced at each other.
Finally, an Uchiha shinobi from the Police Force—the only one with a shred of makeshift authority present—stepped forward.
After a long, awkward silence, he spoke dryly. "Well... since you're already here, you might as well come in and have a cup of tea."
He gestured lazily toward the village...
"Follow me."
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