The blonde girl's shoulders might've stiffened. Turning to face down the hall as though a ghost called out her name, she could've been mistaken. But when their eyes met, Sakura's mind froze. It took a full three seconds before she could compose herself and was about to take a step back into the shadows, but it was too late.
Rin had seen her. She had seen Rin.
Across the hall, they shared a quiet stare. But only one looked pleasantly surprised albeit nervous and she was currently blonde.
Sakura could only feel trepidation. And anger. One she hadn't felt in full force for a decade.
Ah… to hate something with all your heart. The need to hit something had never been so strong before. But her grip on the corner of the wall was indeed strong enough that tightened fingers had chipped the paint and maybe even scratched a fingernail.
Ah… so this is what it feels like to hate. A shame that love could only do so much to balance it out.
"Y-yo! Shirou! Are you planning to act as the tour guide already?" Shinji, likely sensing her anxiety, broke the awkwardness between their two parties and stepped up to hide her with his broad back.
"Ah, Shinji. Why'd you run off so fast? I needed to give you your notebook back—"
"Nevermind that for later and go do your duty, you teacher's pet." Shinji cut her senpai off. Despite wanting him to not push Shirou away while he was in the company of that girl from that family… Sakura couldn't speak out against it. She didn't want for her beloved to see the state she was in.
To hate enough to kill… it was ugly. It wasn't her. It wasn't the her she wanted to show him. And yet, it was a part of her trauma all the same. There were very few things she hated in this world. And one of them just so happened to be standing near the one she loved most.
"Hey, what's wrong with Sakura?" Hearing his concern for her had Sakura's breath hitching. Mixed emotions swirled and contradicted one another, the desire to rush in his arms fighting against the need to pull him away from that woman. But she couldn't allow him to get close. Not right now. Not while she was there. "Shinji, have you upset her again?"
"Ngh… Y-yeah. Kinda." Shinji lied through his teeth for her, pretending to be at fault so the guy she liked didn't have to see her deplorable state. "Look, I'm trying to make it up to her. Could you just… please just go. I'll talk to you about it later. Besides, Fujimura-sensei might get pissed if you ignored your duty as a tour guide if you waste so much time—!"
"Matou-kun!" Her voice cut through his excuses like a hot knife in butter. "Is… is that Sakura behind you?"
"Drat…" Shinji cursed under his breath before responding with a simple "Yeah…"
"C-could I see her… Please… It's been years and I… I would like to speak to her for a bit."
Though it was nervous and just as reluctant, Sakura couldn't hear it conveyed like that. All she could feel from Rin's voice was the hate it boiled inside of her.
'Of all the times to come back, why now? Of all the people to meet her since, why her? Of all the places she could be, why here? Of all the people she would have approached, why him?'
Question after question, the stress had piled up in an instant. The feelings she had of being abandoned to her fate, of being dumped in that hell hole resurfaced. Years of repressed revulsion of her sister, of her father, of her family… it all came bubbling to the top like disgusting mud born from the depths of her traumatized heart.
But she wouldn't let her anger out. She couldn't. Not here. Not yet.
Which is why Shinji, looking for her permission, was met with Sakura's perfected polite smile. Clear, calm and as cold as ice, she smiled as she stepped forward, stepped out of her overprotective brother's shadow, to face the woman that belonged to the magus family that cast her aside. That, however indirect, made her fall in the pit of rapist worms and torture bugs.
"It's nice to see you again, Tohsaka-san." Giving an introductory bow, Sakura's practised mask remained unfazed. "It's been a while since we last met."
"Sa—Sakura…?" Rin looked perturbed, perhaps confused at how she was acting. It didn't matter, however.
"Yes. Matou Sakura, present. You said you wanted to see me. Odd. Last we met, you didn't seem very keen in meeting me." She maintained a modest smile and a polite distance, but the barb was there in her words. It was there in the hardness of the stare she gave her former sister. "Is it the same now?"
"Eh?" Rin's expression froze. For a while, she looked crestfallen, flustered. "A-ah… My bad. I was… preoccupied with… a lot of things." But in another second, she recovered. Rin bore a perfect smile. A mask of poise befitting an heiress of a prestigious family. "I couldn't say it then, but… I'm glad to see you're doing well for yourself. You've grown up beautifully. It's good to see you again, Sakura."
Composed and cool, almost like her. As expected of Rin. She was a formidable one who couldn't be fazed entirely by seeing her after all these years. Though, if one saw it from the sides, they could tell something was off. But with a head-on stare, neither of the former siblings could see the chink in the other's armour. It didn't stop Sakura's barbs, however.
"A shame I can't say the same for you."
Said in a mutter, it went by unnoticed by most. Conveniently, even Shirou didn't catch it as he was being distracted by his fellow classmates ribbing him for being assigned as the guide to the two popular transfers.
But Rin had caught it. She was capable of reading into what Sakura muttered in the heat of the moment. Though it was on impulse, Sakura's words struck a sharp blow to the sister she used to look up to. Enough that it made the unflappable Rin flinch for the first time since they met again.
"Good day to you as well, Matou siblings." It was then that Luvia slotted herself between the siblings and exaggeratedly introduced herself. "It is a pleasure to get acquainted with someone my dear friend Rin is familiar with. A friend of family is a friend of mine as well."
"F-family?" It was Shinji, not Sakura, that prompted the question out of confusion.
"Indeed. Loathe as I am to admit, we are as inseparable as sisters, this maid of mine and I." The sisters and Shinji stiffened at that, but Luvia either was ignorant of it or didn't care much for their reactions. "You see, the Tohsakas had encountered a slight issue way back when. I can't give you the details, but due to their circumstances, my clan has taken them in for protection as a favour to the late Sir Tokiomi. Hence why, after their adoption to our home, Rin and I are very, very close! Like real siblings, rivalry and all! Ohohoho!"
"Hm… I-is that so?" Shinji muttered awkwardly, unsure whether to take the woman's word for it or as an exaggerated jest of an upper-class noblewoman. Regardless, he tried to turn the attention back to the girl in question. "I g-guess that's why we haven't seen you in a long while, huh, Tohsaka."
"Y-yes." Rin awkwardly shuffled behind her mistress, nervously twirling her dyed locks between her fingers. She looked to be very reluctant to continue talking, but Luvia Edelfelt seemed to feel otherwise.
"Woe is me that I never experience a day when she doesn't trouble me. Alas, I owe her and her mother a debt, hence they are both under my care, under the Edelfelt family's care, while we are in Japan." Luvia snapped her fan shut as she subtly narrowed her gaze, smile still present but very much a façade as she stared at Shinji hard. "Just so you are aware, Matou family heir."
An airhead at times, the Finnish noble lady can be. But right now was not one of those times. With a regal smirk and pompous words, she acted as the barrier that hid Rin from Sakura's silent glare. She took on the anger and resentment emanating from the Matou sibling's side without a care for her own impromptu involvement.
But that just sent mixed messages to the girl who maintained the veneer of composure between the sisters.
'So in the end… you ran away. You left me here… to rot.'
While Rin was looking to her benefactor with confused furrowed brows, Sakura's cold politeness hid the questions, the assumptions. And the misgivings.
'You stand behind this… this… this bitch like a shield… And all you had to say to me… after all these years is… I grew up beautifully?'
She should've been glad a sister she used to love would compliment her so… But it felt empty. No, it felt disgusting to take flattery from her. From them.
'Not even sorry for your crimes. Not even an apology for what that man did, for what our father did to me… Even in death… Not even mother—Ah! That's right… Mother…'
"So does that mean the Tohsaka family is currently living with you in your residence, Edelfelt-senpai?" Sakura asked, playing innocent as she tilted her head in inquiry. "That's odd. Didn't the Tohsakas have their own residence in Fuyuki?"
"Th-the property was so—rented off due to… limited resources," Rin answered for them, not looking Sakura in the eye. "Mother and I… we don't have the means to maintain the place on our own at the moment."
"And that is why the Edelfelt family has hired them to assist in repairing and refurbishing their real estate!" Luvia chimed in again. "Due to my family's good will, Miss Aoi is present as my guardian for my stay in Japan. As someone I grew up with calling a second mother, she's been of great assistance to the Edelfelts just as much as Rin has being my assistant and friend."
Luvia stared Sakura down, acting the protector to any more of her sharp words. Perhaps, being a little too protective, this, Sakura noted heavily. Still, she got what she needed. She knew now where her mother and sister are.
After a decade of silence, they've finally returned to Fuyuki.
But not for her.
"I see. If that's the case, I'm glad to have seen you again, Tohsaka-san. And it's been a pleasure making your acquaintance, Edelfelt-senpai." Turning around, she addressed Shinji without looking him in the eye. "Brother, let's go. We need to talk about something important before free time runs out."
"Wa—wait, Sakura? C-can we talk—?" Rin's voice, alarmed and a little hurried, called out. "I'd like to spend some time together… To catch up."
The purple-haired girl paused in her steps but didn't dare give a glance over her shoulder. Not when she'd noticed that Shirou had broken away from his troublesome teasing classmates and was about to return to the conversation. To return to Rin's side. Sakura couldn't bear to stand and watch that for a second longer. Innocent of anything except innocence itself, just seeing someone she liked helping out someone she hated… It didn't sit well with her.
"I don't think we'd have the time, Tohsaka-senpai." Quietly, Sakura held up a bento box she happily prepared this morning but had gone cold in her hands. "It's lunchtime and, as you can see, I'll be busy for a while having a chat with my dear brother. Perhaps another time… Or perhaps never…"
The last bit was said as quietly as possibly. But Shinji must've heard it because he wordlessly followed after Sakura as she quickly ascended the stairwell. No longer did she have a skip in her step. She ascended the steps one at a time but at a hurried pace. Like she wanted to escape.
She headed for the quiet rooftop, the place she would've originally invited her dear senpai out to for a quick lunch. But seeing as the mood was ruined by the ghosts of her past, there was nothing else she could do but find a quiet place for her to vent her frustrations.
Sitting down, she looked up at the blue sky. The clouds had started to come out, blotting the light of the cheery sun in a midday gloom. The cool breeze had turned cold, frigid. The realization that her normal and happy days might be coming to an end brought with it a dark feeling of disgust and anger she thought had been far gone from her.
It seems some of those emotions remained. Scars from the decade-old trauma still marred her heart. A resentment born from abandonment and helplessness after being tortured and violated for nights on end.
Sakura's skin crawled. Her body involuntarily twitched and shuddered. Seeing Rin again… Seeing that carefree smile, a face she only dreamed of reuniting with during her harshest, sleepless nights, brought the vile scenes rushing to the forefront of her mind. And all the days spent under the warm sun and cheery sky were overshadowed by a nightmarish gloom she wished would just go away.
But it wouldn't. Not when the knowledge of them being here meant her peaceful days would be over.
The blonde hussy mentioned sheltering not just Rin, but her moth— that woman as well. Two out of the three that left her to her doom. Two out of the three had yet to receive their just punishment.
Sakura didn't like this side of her. She tried her damnedest to suppress it before for the sake of her friends and family. She put on a smile of being alright because she thought she was finally free.
But with their return… What did it mean for her?
She didn't know. She couldn't understand what to think. She was angry… Resentful. But at the same time, she feared what would happen if she just let them be.
Would they take away her happiness again? Would they convince Shirou that she wasn't worth it? He didn't know. He didn't know anything about her past before she was her energetic and positive self.
'But what if he found out?' The thought had her gritting her teeth as she suppressed her emotions and tried to think clearly. 'I won't let that happen. I will not let them ruin my life anymore!'
THUD.
Her hand hurt as it punched the wall. But the pain had brought her out of her depressed funk as it redirected her trauma-induced sorrow to focused anger.
Thankfully, Shinji had opted to keep watch on the other side of the door by the rooftop stairwell. While Sakura shed silent tears of determination, she continued to punch the wall hard as she vented her frustrations and focused her anger on the concrete.
'It wouldn't do for him to worry about me.' She thought, finally clearing her mind of the bad memories of years past. 'Shinji likes to act tough, but he's easily swayed by his emotions.'
He didn't need to be involved in what she planned to do. Eager as he would be if she asked for his help, she didn't want to ruin his life by pulling him into her vendetta.
'I won't let you ruin my life again. I won't let you get to my friends, my family, or…' Sakura aimed a glare at the sky as a passing gap in the clouds allowed a ray of sunshine to flit across her face. In the blinding white, she saw his face. His upbeat and reassuring smile. It hardened her resolve further. 'Sister, mother… I'll make you leave my home, one way or another.'
Fate was quite a bitch, raining on her parade. But she wouldn't let it beat her down. Not this time.
Sadly, it wasn't done. Amidst her crying and staring up at the cloudy skies, a sudden heat seared itself on the back of her hand.
There, adorning the spot just under her bruised knuckles, were three sakura petals in the shade of the darkest blood.