Emiya Shirou was… something unexpected.
She heard he was her 'replacement'. She'd heard he was his student. She'd heard a lot of things, but none of them made her feel any less angry over the years spent in isolation.
For all the pain and suffering she endured, never did she think she'd get to the point where she could easily converse with the reason that man abandoned her. Especially since he had gotten all that she deserved these past few years.
To see the face of Emiya Shirou seemingly cracking at the mere mention of an incident that claimed her mother and ruined her life a decade ago, however…
This was… This wasn't how she envisioned things would go…
"Y-you…" 'Chloe', frozen, dared to ask. "You were there? During the fire?"
Her red eyes scanned the waiter once again, expecting him to either take back his words or add something more. However, the strange boy flinched and almost looked away while offering another apology. Then, seemingly resolving himself, he looked at her dead-on with a sorrowful expression.
It was as if he was the reason the fire ever happened and took the life of her mother. No, that wasn't the reason for his attitude. It was like the young man said, he was sorry for having lived while her mother died.
"Tell me. During the incident, what happened to you?" She wasn't forceful, she wasn't polite. It was a blunt question. One that didn't hold ill intent nor any sympathy. Chloe was just… curious, for lack of a better term.
But it seemed to get the job done as the young man quietly took a seat across from her and sat back.
"I… I was one of the people that… that managed to escape the fire. My… my family got caught up in it… while we were out in the city… But… But then…" His breath hitched. He maintained something akin to composure, but even if he could speak calmly, 'Chloe' could tell he was pained.
After all, he'd lost family then, just the same as she.
"I'm sorry." He said again. "I… I should've died then… I… I…"
'I shouldn't have lived. Your mother should've been the one to survive.' Such reasoning was… ridiculous to say the least. Such self-loathing wasn't deserved or warranted. It wasn't even rational. He couldn't have been anything more than a child back then. Far younger than she was at the time as well. Whatever blame that came his way was pointless. But… the white-haired girl couldn't help but be sure this self-torture was his actual line of thinking.
"Do… do you honestly believe that? That you're at fault?"
The way he remained quiet and composed hid the anguish in his eyes. One would not have seen it if they weren't looking for it. But 'Chloe' did. And she knew it was the truth that he took his survival as an offense to those who'd passed on.
And if that was the case, then… then—
'Then what the hell did I even come here for?!'
She didn't say the words aloud. She didn't hint at her frustrations, years of training and perseverance aided in maintaining a mask of calm. However, she balled her small hands ball into fists, not wanting to believe what she'd found. And what it meant for her crusade.
'Why?' Chloe thought as she stared into his hollowed expression. 'Why are you making… that face? Why… are you taking on those feelings… when you shouldn't even be feeling that way…?'
All her life, she wondered why her father never came home. For years, years on end, she trembled at the thought of being abandoned by him after she'd been told he let her mother die to run away. When her grandfather told her it was because he wanted to start a new life without them, without his own child, it tore her apart.
But looking at the so-called reason as to why her father ran away and never came back, she questioned if that really was the case.
Both of them were broken, perhaps beyond repair. And perhaps, they weren't so different, despite the circumstances.
But she couldn't just forgive Kiritsugu. Not when she waited so long… So… so long… All those frozen nights she sought for his caring embrace but woke up to nothing but tear stains and an empty bed… It hardened her resolve against the man.
But not his adopted son. For some reason, 'Chloe' found herself turning away from him first. Looking down at the empty cup of tea in her hands, recalling how warm and kind it tasted, how warm and kindly she treated her… Even if she was mistaken for a child younger than he, the boy was honest and a good kid…
'Dammit… Damn you to hell…' She cursed the world, feeling very conflicted now.
Emiya Shirou, part of the reason she came to this stupid place to begin with, was not what she expected. In fact, it was harder to feel what she had before for him now that she found out what made him tick. And it was… it felt horrible. Trying to hate someone she sympathized with… Wanting to comfort someone she wanted to hate so much… But… but she couldn't… she just couldn't!
She came here wanting to kill him. Now… Now she just felt sorry for him. But she couldn't console him, not when she still needed to carry out her plans of revenge.
Which is why she held very little remorse when she leaned back in her seat, sighed, and started. "If that is what you believe, then you'd best be prepared not to waste your life."
"Huh?" the boy looked dumbstruck, likely not expecting to be given advice by some stranger.
But 'Chloe' wasn't some stranger. Even if he didn't know her, she knew about him. Enough to know she needed him in the future.
"You survived when so many fell… At least have the decency of making your life worth it. Help people around you, and actively give to those that have nothing. It's the least you can do, right?"
"But… isn't it… a bit selfish to think this way?" the boy shifted in his seat. "You don't think I'm imposing myself on others when I do this?"
"Why should you care about what other people say? It's your life, isn't it?" Crossing her arms, she tried to look mature as she glared out the window. But as she hesitated slightly in trying to get the encouraging words out, she unintentionally came off as a stuck-up child trying to cheer up a teenager. "If a hundred—nay, a thousand people died that night, then work as hard as a thousand more to make up for your survival. They didn't die for you, but are you going to let fate dictate their deaths as a meaningless mistake? Will you right them off as a statistic and your survival as just pure luck? I hope not."
Sneaking a glance back to him, the boy looked to her as though she was a saint. Like he'd heard the words he wanted to hear finally, after hiding away in the shadows of self-doubt. Likely, he never shared his issues to those closest to him and those that did never actually said anything to resolve his ingrained issues.
But 'Chloe'—no. Not Chloe. But Illyasviel knew and understood what it was like to feel lost and alone even in one's own head. He wasn't lacking in drive nor the will to live. If he had, he would've offed himself sooner. Rather, what he lacked was direction.
In fact, it was the same for her. She just channelled her all for the sake of getting back at the man that abandoned her. And if it was to get at that man where it hurt… then she wouldn't mind being the one to finally make Emiya Shirou smile, even if it was born from a twisted philosophy.
"Thank you." The damaged boy said with a relieved chuckle. "I… Those are the words I wanted to hear… I… I've spoken with those close to me about it before but… They never said anything close to what you did… They always… just told me to relax and let it go… Even if I just… can't."
"Then I guess we were fated to meet." Perfect smile plastered on her doll-like face, she added while tracing the lip of her empty mug. "You know, I didn't expect such a conversation when I arrived at Fuyuki today. Not gonna lie, I feel somewhat refreshed. Considering all my unresolved issues apart from my mother's death, I'm glad my words helped you today."
"Th-thank you, miss—"
"'Chloe'." Illya interrupted with a teasing smirk. "You can call me by my name."
"Is… isn't that rude? I mean… you are older than me—"
"Ah, ah, ah! If you're going to bring up age, then listen to what I say. Call me 'Chloe'." She booped his nose with a finger playfully. If seen from the sidelines, it'd be like a child teasing an adult, but it was the exact opposite here considering the reality of their opposing roles. "Don't be a stranger, boy. It's not like we didn't just have such a deep heart-to-heart discussion earlier."
The way his cheeks flushed at being called a brat was endearing. Not enough to completely silence her inner demons, but enough to give him a unique spot in the white-haired half-homunculus's heart. A strange spot adjacent to her object of vengeance and near the closest candidate of an actual friend. Or perhaps it could be a sibling?
The girl didn't really care to designate specifics. She was new to this experience after all.
"In that case. Chloe." The boy shuffled in his seat uncomfortably but obeyed her request. "I'd like to return the favor. You helped me, so… how about I hear you out?"
"Oh? What's this?" she smiled coyly before tilting her gaze. "Trying to act like a big brother to poor little me?"
"You spoke about your mother, but… you said nothing about your father." That had her flinching. He didn't notice it, likely too engrossed in stammering his words, but it flipped a switch in the girl. One that immediately soured her mood. "Did he die as well? I'm sorry if I'm getting into something I shouldn't—"
"It's alright." She said flatly. "It's… just… hmm…" She hummed as she turned her gaze to the window again. "You recall that I said I came to Fuyuki to resolve issues apart from my mother's death and my current state of health. One of those issues… it involves that man."
The boy flinched upon her tone but he didn't interrupt.
"You see… that person, he is indeed alive. But… after that night, he never came home. I lived in Germany at the time, so when I received word that they were caught up in the incident and it claimed my mother's life, I waited for news of my father's return. I waited… and waited. And waited. My father… he never came home, never visited me, or even bothered to tell my family anything… I just… never saw him again. He never showed up. I was abandoned with my grandparents. For ten whole years." She paused, trying to rein in the emotional turmoil. She didn't want to lash out at someone almost entirely unrelated. It was too soon for that. "But then I found out recently that he'd started a new family here after abandoning me…"
"That's—! That's terrible!"
Indeed, it was. And it was ironic that she was conversing with the person she initially believed stole her father away.
The smirk on 'Chloe's' face didn't disappear. And despite her upbeat words, her tone was far from warm. "I'm pleased we think the same. I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking so… It's… it's been so long since I had spoken to someone about him… I feel like maybe I can finally face him when the time comes. When I see him and let him know what I think about him after all these years, maybe I'll be able to stand tall and not waver. Last I heard, he visits Fuyuki quite often. Perhaps… the moment I'd been waiting for will come. If I ever run into him during my stay in this city, the wait and struggle… it will be all worth it."
"I… I don't know what kind of man he is, but I hope you will get the closure you seek." Shirou said, not even thinking about what the girl, woman before him might have in mind. He never suspected Chloe or her intentions, seemingly too optimistic to see her as a bad person. A shame. He had no idea how much she wanted to murder him before today. The thought had her involuntarily covering her mouth with a palm, something the boy noticed. "Is something wrong?"
"Heheh, it's… nothing. O rather… I just found this situation to be quite ridiculous. I came here today looking to… well, it's not all that important now. But after a drink of good tea and finally talking with someone about my worries… …" She took a deep sigh as her tiny shoulders shuddered in relief. "I didn't expect to find such good company here. Even if it did change some of my plans to waste time wandering off, I enjoyed my time here more than I thought I would. It's thanks to you. Sorry for burdening you with my troubles."
"Sorry for burdening you with mine." Oblivious, the boy could only scratch the back of his head. "But… if I can make your day a little bit better then it means it was worth it, opening up."
"My, you're quite the fragile knight in shining armor then, coming to my rescue while looking like you've been through hell." Chloe chuckled at his expense. "However, it's not fair that I don't even know your name. You saw everything of me when I gave you my ID, even my age, which is something women don't often share so openly."
"Erk…My bad!" Shirou blinked before quickly apologizing.
"I'm just teasing. You don't have to take it seriously."
"Still… Please excuse me." Getting up, the boy offered a bow, as was the custom in these eastern lands, before he offered a hand to shake. "My name's Shirou. Emiya Shirou. Seventeen. As I said, I'm working here part-time. If you want to visit Copenhagen Cafe, I am usually here during the afternoon on weekdays, but I often come on weekends when necessary. If you want someone to talk to, or even just to vent, I'll be here."
At first, 'Chloe' didn't say anything. In the next second, she was laughing aloud so much that her sides hurt. "What's… what's with that business-like introduction?! Ahahaha! You make it sound like you're my consultant or 24/7 therapist!"
Emiya Shirou wasn't what she expected. But perhaps, that itself was something she needed to know.
He was kind. He was genuine. He was also fragile and quite malleable. But from what she could tell, he was also somewhat innocent of any crime or offence she quietly cursed him for all this time.
Perhaps, he was an excuse as to why Kiritsugu never came home. But that in itself did not make him guilty. In fact, 'Chloe' was convinced he was just as much a victim of the fire as she was. He had lost family when she did too.
And seeing how he was willing to share such pain with her, someone he considers his fellow in suffering, it made Illyasviel von Einzbern willing enough to spare him from her vendetta. And maybe, perhaps, she could take him away from that man. To do to him what he did to her, taking away the last warmth she had in this stupid, cruel world.
"Emiya Shirou. I'll just call you Shirou." Chloe smiled, wiping away the first happy tears she'd had in a long, long while. "I'll make sure to visit you more often. I hope we can get along."
She offered her hand and shook his, earning a warm smile. He was the first to smile in a way she actually acknowledged as genuinely caring. That in itself was something worthy of protecting.
"I'm glad I met you, Chloe."
After all, it was the older sister's duty to look after their younger sibling. And no deadbeat father would ever get in the way of exemplifying real love for family.