Fuyuki Church.
The sun was still up as the spearman lazily looked over the territory around the church from the chapel's highest window. Guard duty had him memorizing the same boring scenery of the dense field of unkempt shrubbery and the forest beyond it. But apart from the monotonous view, it was the boredom that was grating on his nerves. So much so that he was beginning to slack off on the off chance any would-be opportunist goes for the kill.
He wasn't negligent in the slightest. But as a participant in this 'war', the peace and silence was a heavy disappointment.
"Ahh…" he stifled a yawn. "Man… this sucks ass…" The hero from Ulster, Cú Chulainn stretched. Heroic toned muscles flexed after having to remain still for hours on end. "I thought last night I would get to stab someone, but no! Not even a proper fight to the death… Feh…"
Cu was, to borrow modern lingo, quite peeved at being blue balled. The walking mountain he tussled with previously had been a titillating taste test as to the competition participating with him in the Holy Grail War, but not only was he robbed of a bloody battle, the target he was tasked to silence managed to get away.
Hard to not feel worse about it when the giant his Master ordered him to focus on was also not into it. The lumbering lug of muscle that appeared out of nowhere had the Hound of Chulainn excited for a good minute. The swings behind that weapon seemingly hewed from stone like a savage was hefty enough to give Lancer a run for his money… And the speed behind that giant thing? Unmatched. At least, unmatched in the historical battles he'd partaken in life. On that eve, Cu was made to believe their opening bout was going to be legendary!
… But then the giant boulder of a man just ended up not trying to kill him. It was just there to distract him.
That the redhaired brat was likely the cause for his being cucked of a good fight only made Lancer wanna stab him more. He didn't hate the kid at first, but now?
"Ugh… I need a drink…"
Bad enough he can't vent his frustrations in battle. A man can't even get good liquor without his 'housemates' giving him bad looks. It wasn't Lancer's fault they hadn't acquired a disguise so he could mingle amongst the locals the first time. And it's not like they found his blue suit all that odd. Not much, anyways.
Arguably the most battle-thirsty of the current roster (self-proclaimed) in the Grail War, boredom was truly gonna be the death of him at this rate. After all, what was the point of being a badass warrior, a Knight-class Servant, when he couldn't even honorably fight to the death? What was his spear? Some garden post to leave standing in the field? His teacher would weep at his inaction.
"Quite the impatient pup, no matter what era or nation you're in. Expecting more of you is a waste of time and brain cells, not that you have much of the latter." A playful and irritating voice came from behind as Cu bit his tongue, already fed up with the one who was speaking. "What's this? Does the little dog want to bark? Feel free to whine more. You aren't doing anything worthwhile anyway."
Caren Hortensia, ever the pain in the ass, was always there when you wanted to see less of her. Always quick to come up with insults, always making sure you felt annoyed because of her. And that was despite her being a nun. Or was she a demon disguised as one? Cu didn't give a damn anymore. The sadist was getting off from being everyone's least favorite person and Lancer could do nothing but take a deep sigh. And curse whatever balls spawned this specific bitch.
"God's sake, girl, do you not have clerical duties to busy yourself with? Like, I don't know, bother my Master. Sing songs your fellow priests love to repeat over and over or something."
"You think I am the type to endlessly praise the holy name with an honest smile on my face?" The smile she wore seemed more fake than any scene he could picture her as a choir girl. That fact alone creeped Cu out a bit.
"Leave me alone, brat."
"If you feel uncomfortable, you could always go out and buy more bottles to add to your empty collection." She lazily kicked one of said bottles to roll under the bed Cu had slept on since they stationed themselves here. Caren, with arms crossed behind her back, added, "Make sure to get me some too."
"Not doing it. Buying you a drink leaves a bad taste in mine. And my bad. Can't be your errand boy as my Master's ordered me to cut down on leaving during the day."
"Aw. Is someone in the doghouse for failing to get their first kill?"
That ticked a nerve on Cu's forehead, but he didn't give her the satisfaction. He would have liked to just go around the city, maybe even fish a little by the river. But a lot happened last night and until his Master got a proper read on the situation, he wasn't to risk anything by leaving the Church's grounds.
Despite his hunger for battle, he could see the logic in it. A lot went down at that academy place, more so than just him failing to kill that behemoth. Four Servants in one area was a missed opportunity for combat, but looking at it carefully, it was a surprise nothing went to shit apart from a broken gate.
"Well, at least you're an obedient pup." Much to his annoyance, Caren degradingly patted his head. He swatted her hand away but couldn't do anything about the subtle but cheeky grin of hers. "Bazett more or less organized whatever information we already had on the Holy Grail War and came to the conclusion that there are more things we weren't prepared for. So good news for you. You aren't solely to blame for last night's slip up."
'Thanks for that,' he didn't say aloud but scoffed instead.
"Once the cover of night is upon us, you are free to go on walks. Wouldn't that be exciting for you after being shut in the kennel for so long." Smugness just emanated from her being. Like an anti-nun. Cu wondered just how she was allowed in her clergy. Caren Hortensia slyly narrowed her eyes when she caught him feigning silent disinterest. "Of course, such freedom isn't free. Restrictions are still in place. Drawing attention to yourself is—"
"I know, I know!" He growled back, patience wearing thin. "Man, is this how you react to being ignored? Nagging?"
"It works to grill a reaction, yes." Monotone and unperturbed by a Servant getting antsy, she added, "Oh, and make sure this time you bring back anything of value. What's the point of keeping a dog that can't even play a little fetch?"
Cu was impressed with how brazen she could be. Then again, he was much more impressed he lasted this long without stabbing the brat. For someone so young, she was either very brave or very insane to dare taunt an actual Heroic Spirit. Lesser heroes would've offed her and be done with it. Cu was not one of them. Doesn't change the fact that he found her disturbing.
Something was wrong with the girl's head. Or heart. Probably both.
But even if he knew, Cu couldn't remedy the issue once and for all with his Gae Bolg. He was bound to the woman serving as Caren Hortensia's bodyguard. By extension, the evil brat was his charge to protect. That fact alone turned boredom into something… more frustrating.
"Ergh, why did I have to be summoned near someone like you? Is this some sort of divine punishment for stuff I did in life?"
"What's wrong, oh great hero-dog? Or is this little girl capable of driving you to the point of admitting your defeat before me? My, oh my, how pitiful. I pity poor Bazett for having such a disappointing ancestor as a Servant. You do her forefathers a disgrace."
Cu glared at Caren. "You little—!"
BEEP BEEP
The sound of a car horn had their conversation on hold. Lancer had noticed the vehicle on approach a fair distance away. However, having not sensed any Servant for miles around, nor had he seen the passengers step out to eye the property suspiciously, Cu took them for civilian visitors.
'Stand by, Lancer. These aren't one of ours.' That changed when Bazett ordered him through their telepathic link. She had stepped out of the Church and was slowly approaching them at the dilapidated gate of the church grounds. One of the visitors stepped out of the vehicle and kept their arms up in full view. 'It seems they're just here for a talk.'
'Do you need me for it?' Lancer half-heartedly offered, hoping to even be just a show of force. Anything to avoid the midget looking over his shoulder at the scene below.
'Of course not. I don't sense them to be magi, let alone people you'd need trouble yourself over.' Damn. So much for trying to get away from the gremlin. 'Sit tight. I'll handle it.'
Lancer had no doubt she couldn't. She was capable enough, this he could discern.
She'd once mentioned in passing of her family lineage. Having pretended to not have paid attention then, Lancer did keep it to himself that he may have been aware of her ancestry's origins. It certainly was a rare surprise to meet someone descended from those who called his homeland their own, but then again, perhaps that was the reason he was drawn to her. Apart from the earrings she wore that served as his summoning catalysts, of course.
As someone he acknowledged as his Master, Bazett might very well be the one person he could count on to lead him to a good fight.
He certainly wouldn't try trusting the other person in their team. Caren Hortensia was the type of person Lancer felt justified to punt into the sea.
Just a dip. She shouldn't drown. Hopefully.
'Lancer. Bring Caren downstairs. Our visitors have brought something of concern.'
He did as ordered, not telling, but rather just leading Caren downstairs without any word of explanation. The brat followed after, concealing a hint of annoyance upon Lancer's ignoring her. Bazett awaited on the first floor by one of the only undamaged pews. A suitcase was sat next to her.
"We have a situation," she started, straight to the point.
"I'm not detecting any curses, so I assume those arrivals you entertained earlier had no hostile intent?"
"We shall see. Soon." Bazett smoothly opened the suitcase to pull out an already-opened letter she handed over to Caren. Cu took a cursory glance over the child's head and skimmed through the footnotes. "Hm. You seem popular. Being invited to a party, Master?"
"Not by the enemy, I presume." Caren was quick to point out.
"No. According to our messengers, they're neutral." She nodded over her shoulder to the door, indicating the visitors that had long drove off. "Our host is the CEO of Industries. They claim to be acting as… this Grail War's observers."
"In lieu of the Church, is it…"
Lancer didn't fail to notice Caren's eyes narrow. He was very much in the know why. "Looks like your little clergy was right to be worried. They've stolen our little lady's job, after all."
"Not just that. They claim to be a neutral, but to what ends?" the nun added, handing back the invitation letter, before crossing her arms as she contemplated. "Anyone could serve as the mediator to this ritual. However, the Church has long since taken up that role on account of us not having a stake in its purposes. For an outsider to be involved, much less a business mogul as big as this one, but not be interested?"
"Begs so many questions, I know. They also mentioned being able to share information should we attend." Bazett's words invited an actual scowl from the girl. "It reeks of being a trap. I know. Perhaps, it is as the letter also states they aren't Masters or participants in the war and in fact will be inviting our… competition to the same place."
It sounded too good to be true, Lancer thought the same. His Master continued, crossing her arms as she leaned against the wall with a sigh.
"Be it truth or a feeble attempt to throw us off, either way, we can't ignore it. On the off chance that them being unbiased arbiters isn't a lie, we cannot be seen ignoring them. With myself acting as a Master, it'd be the same as spitting in the face of a referee."
"More so if they invited others, not just ourselves." Caren muttered silently. Cu wondered if she was cursing to herself or cursing someone. It honestly could've gone either way. Still, this wasn't his primary concern.
"So," Cu whistled. "What's the catch, Master? Let me guess, they want you to come alone."
"Surprisingly, no actually." Bazett shook her head. "Opposite of that. They wished for me to take you with myself and warned me that they made sure to offer the same leniency to other Masters. There will be four more pairs coming besides us and the messenger stated it is in everyone's best interest that the heroes behave when they mingle."
"Now that—," Lancer felt his lips curl. "—is interesting."
"And dangerous." Caren rolled her eyes as she glanced between her new favorite toys. "A sudden new player who swears they aren't part of the war, and yet they apparently know quite a lot about those who fight in said war. Quite enough to locate and invite five Master-Servant pairs."
Which meant there was some credence to their claims but at the same time, they were practically endangering their position at the Church just standing around.
"I'll admit, I don't like it, Master." Cu could sense bad stuff coming from this business from a mile away. Still, he was itching for a fight. "Tell me when. My spear is ready. Hell, how about we waltz in ahead of the party and take a crack. Test their mettle, so to speak."
"Your warrior's experience will be necessary, Lancer. But I'm sure there is more to this. With our limited information and resources we can do little but play along for now. We'll take the invite."
"Hmph. It's a date, then."
Bazett shot him a grin and nodded back. They wouldn't rush in, he'd respect her decision. But only because he could see she was saving him for a more precise strike. She didn't like it any more than Caren did but she saw the understanding in his agreeing to follow her.
The Fifth Holy Grail war wasn't even supposed to start in this decade. The night Bazett summoned him, she revealed such, making it clear that something was totally wrong with this ritual and that she was going to find out.
But Cu Chulainn had agreed to help if only to get a chance to have a good war with other heroes from the Throne. An ambush meant an opponent going for the kill. A trap sprung meant a fight to the death.
His fun would come.
"Your eyes betray your lust for a fight, you battle hound." Aaaand now that fun was dashed away with Hortensia's comment. "What's wrong puppy? Getting scared?"
Groaning, Cu turned to his Master. "Can we cut her tongue or something? I guarantee it'll improve morale. Mine especially."
The red head sighed deeply and shrugged. "While that would certainly leave a more bearable if not homely atmosphere for our base, don't. Her benefactors, as well as ours, wouldn't take too kindly to you silencing the War's true mediator. Best to just ignore her tactless ramblings, Lancer."
"Oh, I too love keeping you two company," Caren said with the enthusiasm of the dead fish. "Now if that's all, how about you get going. Mustn't keep our pretender-arbiter waiting. I shall lock this place down and await your successful return." At least there was some good news, Lancer didn't say aloud with an eyeroll. "Hopefully in one piece. Oh, and don't forget to get him a bone or something, Bazett. Maybe a squeaky toy, I heard dogs love them."
With that parting remark, Caren headed deeper inside the chapel, leaving the two Irish behind. Both let out equally relieved huffs as soon as she was gone.
"I swear, being near her makes me want to stab myself with my own spear."
"Don't let her get to you. You know she will see it as her win if you end yourself out of frustration." Bazett shook her head, relaxing her schooled features with a chuckle. "Besides, I'd rather not miss an opportunity to fight alongside my famed ancestor."
"Hm, that so? Well, alright my distant relative. When things go south, I'll be sure to bear witness what you're capable of. Hope you don't disappoint."
"I can hold my own. Wanna bet on it?" He was offered a fist. A little bit surprised, he met Bazett's knuckles with his own.
"Alright, let's get moving before that brat says anything else." Taking her competitive nod in stride, Lancer held the door open for his Master as she strode out under the moonlight, suitcase in hand. "By the way, what's inside the box? The letter wasn't the only thing our mystery host sent us, no?"
"Oh, this?" She opened it for him to see. "It's part of the dress code."