Hey guys!
I watch so much Youtube and shit that I've added some of their language into my vocabulary. I literally just be calling people I don't like "low-level Chuds" for no damn reason.
Enjoy the show!
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This….Is Lucifer?
You know, when you picture the literal devil, like the one from Christianity you'd picture somebody intimidating at least. Maybe buff, maybe a charismatic guy in a suit tempting you to sign a paper, fire, brimstone, all of that jazz. What you probably won't expect is a damn clown in a white suit and tophat.
Seriously, even if I tried I don't think I could ever be intimated by this guy in the slightest, it's like getting pressured by Spongebob of all people. Regardless of opinion on the guy, I wasn't just gonna act like a dick to him. Ignoring the remnants of the door on the floor, I walked up to him and held my arm out for a handshake. "What's up, man?"
Something that I actually appreciated about him was the fact that unlike all of the other genetic freaks in his damn place, he was actually at a normal height like me, only just a tiny bit shorter. However, instead of taking my generous offer of friendship, Lucifer instead looked up at me with a raised eyebrow and walked by me, tossing his luggage at my chest.
He was saying something to Charlie, but I honestly blocked it out due to the sheer anger pumping in my veins. I know for a fact that it's not that serious at all, I mean, he's the literal devil, he's royalty down here and isn't used to people talking to him like they're equals. I was trying my best to rationalize everything in my mind, yet my body wasn't listening in the slightest.
Before if this happened, I would've just been a bit ticked off and walked away maybe. I was never the most prideful or violent type of guy before I came down here, but whatever happened while I was an Archfiend is making me act like a damn fool. If he was even 1% stronger than Charlie, he was still more than enough to erase me in seconds if he really felt like it, so I shouldn't antagonize him at all.
"Yo Charlie, who's the twink?" I ask, my body moving own its own to punt Lucifer's suitcase across the room while walking next to him and leaning on him, putting an arm on his head to fuck with him. It was clear that this was a bad move instantly, everybody in the room going pale, Angel Dust somehow getting whiter which is something that I didn't think was possible.
"J-James, that's my dad and I–" Charlie stuttered out, trying to get me to do literally anything else besides provoking her dad, the literal ruler of hell. However, unfortunately for her, I graduated from the school of instigation with a degree in Enhanced Ignorance, so any attempts in settling anything without violence is just gonna end badly.
"This is your dad?" I asked, like she didn't just say it in the last sentence. "Hey tell me something, when he spanked you as a kid was it self-defense cause you were bigger than him?" I asked, walking over and sitting down on the couch to reap the rewards of my immaculate ragebait and also to get some distance in case I did it a little bit too well.
Lucifer looked up with an obviously strained smile. "Char-Char, can you explain to me why this little shit doesn't know his place?"
You know, if you really thought about it, Lowtiergod and Lucifer had a lot in common. They both cut contact with their daughters for a few years, they both seemed to be full of pride, they both use makeup to hide the fact that they're middle-aged. Is Lucifer really just Lowtiergod in disguise?
"You got a brain, shorty, use it." I say, leaning back with one eye open to see Lucifer seething.
"I am barely 1 inch shorter than you!"
"Every inch matters, but I suppose you wouldn't know that."
"What? What the hell does that mean?"
"It means that I didn't PEG you for someone who has sex often."
"..."
"It means I think you receive penetrative sex from your wife. Although I personally don't think of you as less of a man for it, I will insult you in any way I can, you baby-dick ass bitch."
"I'll have you know that me and my wife participated in many sexual acts that WEREN'T pegging!"
"But I'm not hearing a denial though."
"OKAY STOP!!!" Charlie yelled. "Can you guys just calm down please? I don't wanna hear about my mom and dad's sex act for God's sake!"
"Well how about you tell Mr. "rude-ass" over here to treat me with some respect." Lucifer said, crossing his arms and turning away from me in the most gayest pose I've ever seen. I don't have qualms with gay people or the LGBT community, but this particular dude makes me wanna say a slur.
"Tell Lucicunt over here to treat others the way they wanna be treated. Didn't you learn that in devil school or wherever the hell you're from?" I said, also turning around and crossing my arms just as zestily as he did.
"Fuck you, bitch!"
"Fuck you, nigga!"
"Fuck you, you black bitch!"
"Aha! I knew you were racist!"
"You are literally pitch-black with horns, there's nothing else to say!"
"ENOUGH!!!!!!" Charlie yelled with a rare expression of actual anger. She clapped her hands twice, each clap somehow removing me and Lucifer's mouths that were contained in a jar that manifested in front of her. "Until you two can learn how to behave in front of each other, then you aren't getting speaking privileges!"
She can take away mouths? What kinda Bugs Bunny shit is this? "Since you two don't want to behave, I have a friendship adventure that you both can go on." She said, a sweet smile adorning her face that was so obviously fake judging by her building eyes and her hands literally having veins popping out from how hard she was gripping them before snapping her fingers.
[1x Golden Random ticket: Somehow ragebait CHARLIE of all people to the point where she is just barely skating on the line of torture and plausible deniability when it comes to punishing you and her dad]
[Warrior of Sunlight]
|Elite Trait|
Dark Souls - You are a Warrior of Sunlight, a Warrior that praises the sun and devotes their faith in it, receiving powers in return. As a Warrior of Sunlight, you possess increased vitality. In addition, all Lightning and Fire-based abilities are slightly more potent and carry traces of sunlight within them, further increasing their potency against Undead and Dragons. Beings aligned with the Sun and Light may favor you more.
…Crap.
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THE END
Sorry for the way shorter chapter, I just want Lucifer and James to develop their relationship. Speaking of relationships, I am pretty iffy on if Lucifer should be in the harem. I know that I just said that he wouldn't like 3 chapters ago, but I am a very wishy washy person and after going on R34 and seeing BWL draw his ass, I'm lowkey reconsidering it.
Ok bbbbbyyyyyyeeeeeee!!!