"I could be Bisexual," he insisted, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Heh. Sure. You, Mason? The one who almost vomited the time I told you I'm actually a girl? The one who would start a war with every girl over Harry Styles and has a Lady Gaga sanctuary hidden in his closet? Sure, you're totally Bi."
"Well! At least I'm not aromantic like someone I know! How's that, hm?" He arched a perfectly groomed eyebrow, his voice dropping into a playful, teasing purr. I was truly clueless that he was talking about me at the time.
"Who's aromantic? The guy you like?" I asked, actually interested in a bit of gossip for a change.
"... Are you kidding me, Layna?"
"Hihihi!" Sophie giggled, finally joining the conversation with a melodic, drunken lilt. She acted as if she were playing dumb, holding onto our shoulders to keep from falling flat on her face. "You are! Right, Layna? Acro—no, Aromatic!"
"It's aromantic."
"Yeah, that. Aromatic!"
"It's aromantic!"
"That's what I said!" Sophie chirped, swaying back and forth with a sly, lopsided grin.
"I don't get you." This time, I was the one lifting an eyebrow. I honestly didn't know what they were on about. I finished the new glass I'd managed to fill after stealthily swiping the can Mason had left unattended. I peeked at their shocked expressions. "What now?"
"You're not seriously saying that, are you?"
"What? Why? I'm not kidding. I don't know who your crush is right now, Mason. You know I hate the 'love' topic, but I'll make an exception this time since you came out."
I'd always felt uncomfortable about romance. I felt odd whenever some kind of love conversation came up between my friends. It had become natural for me to feel that weird about it—so much so that I eventually started telling people close to me not to talk about it. I'd even flee conversations when they veered into that territory. The famous 'girl talk' was my absolute kryptonite. They were sure to go into it in a way that was far too enthusiastic for me to match. The safest way to avoid it completely was to avoid all-girl groups.
I went that far. That's how much I disliked it.
People seem to look forward to love so madly. It actually impresses me, but not in a good way, sadly. It feels like a fever I never caught.
Either way, this time it was my best friends who shared a glance. It was a stunned look, far more intense than the one Sophie and I had shared earlier. This time, Mason took the lead at Sophie's silent cue.
"Tell her, Mason."
"On it."
"The hell? Tell me what? Don't tell me you're also sick now."
"Layna."
"Yes?"
"YOU are who I'm talking about right now." Mason spoke with a dramatic flair, acting as if he were announcing a terminal diagnosis. He was being a bit too sassy for me to take him seriously. Sophie wasn't much help either, repeating it like a hyperactive cheerleader.
"Yeah! You are, Layna! Aromatic!"
"Aromantic!"
"I am?" I stared at them, watching them maintain their serious fronts for a while. I thought they were just taking the p*ss, so I decided to reply accordingly—disinterested and sarcastic. "Oh. I didn't know that. I see. Thanks for the notice. So, I smell nice, huh?"
"You're not taking this seriously."
"Of course I am. Look. I'm not smiling at all."
"No, you're not. I saw a smirk just now."
"Yeah! You're not, Layna!"
"Well, neither of you is actually serious, either. Anyway, why do you say that? Isn't it weird for someone who isn't me to decide what my sexuality is? If I were a litigious person, I could sue both of you for defamation."
"Girl—you really HAVE to be kidding me right now." Mason's voice rose an octave, his fingers tightening around a crumpled wrapper. "'Cause if you're not, I'm going to freaking shove this choco bar up your virgin nose."
"Up your nose!" Sophie echoed, her eyes wide with mock horror.
"Shut it, Sophie! This is important!" Exasperated by Sophie's cheerful "help," Mason's temper flared, his movements becoming sharp and jagged. I couldn't help but let a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth. He was always so much more entertaining when he was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown. However, the moment he whipped around and caught me looking far too pleased with the chaos, I forced my expression back into a mask of neutral innocence.
"What? You two are funny, haha," I told them, leaning back and soaking in the comedy of their bickering. "Can't I laugh a little? It's my celebration, after all." I let the sentence trail off, watching the way the light caught the dust motes dancing between us.
"You. Cannot." Mason's tone was flat, dead serious.
"...cannot!" Sophie trilled, swaying her shoulders in a rhythmic, singsong motion that only served to fuel Mason's fire.
"Pff! No, no, no, Hahaha! I totally can. I'm doing it right now, haha." I laughed, though a small part of me was genuinely baffled. I had absolutely no idea what they were actually talking about, but the energy in the room was infectious.
"Oh. My. God. Oh, my goddess Gaga! Please help this child!" He threw his hands up toward the ceiling as if seeking divine intervention from a pop star.
"Ugh, so dramatic." I rolled my eyes, the scent of the chocolate bar Mason was brandishing wafting toward me. "And you have the guts to ask why we weren't surprised with the way you act, Mason? Check yourself first and then judge me, okay?"
"That's not the issue!! We. Made. A. Test!! I can't believe you forgot!! This! This right here—" He stopped mid-sentence, his frantic energy suddenly pivoting. "Ah. Wait, let me look for it. I'm sure I got the result sent to our emails somewhere." He pulled out his phone, his breathing slowing as he began to scroll through his inbox with obsessive focus.
"Uh, sure, take your time." I watched him, feeling a flicker of doubt. "Although I don't think I have that much of a bad memory. I wouldn't just forget a test like that."
"I found it! THIS! See?!" He lunged forward, nearly toppling the table. "It had a bunch of questions and it said you were aromantic! See?! Here! It says it right here!" He shoved the screen—set to a blindingly high brightness—directly into my face. My eyes stung as I squinted at a very fancy but incredibly dubious "test result." It was something I had definitely never seen before in my entire life.
[ Congrats our beautiful little unique person! You are officially aromantic!
Love? That's not in your dictionary, cutie!
You can find more info about it in this Link!
Thanks for your donation to the cause!
Happy Pride! ]
"Oh. Is that so?" I blinked at the neon text, trying to clear the spots from my vision. "Sounds VERY legitimate." My voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Anyway, when did you do this? And how much did you donate to their cause?"
"Hehe, only 50 bucks to get the result." Mason grinned, looking far too pleased with himself. "It's for a good cause, so it's fine."
What good cause? The getting scammed cause?? I thought to myself, my brow furrowing as I felt a wave of pity for my naive friend. He was standing there so proudly, completely oblivious to the fact he'd been fleeced.
"So, anyway." Mason waved a hand dismissively. "Both of us asked you these questions gradually over the last week. It was quite fun to do, actually. You never noticed." He gave a sly wink toward our friend. "Right, Sophie?"
"Mhm! You never noticed, Layna." Sophie chirped, popping the 'p' with a mischievous grin. "We were so smooth—just like ninjas!"
"Uh-huh, I see." I nodded slowly, the pieces finally falling into place. "So, that explains why I 'forgot' or, more accurately, never knew I was taking a test in the first place."