Bruce had faced a great many enemies over the years.
World-class assassins. Alien warlords. Demons. Even self-proclaimed gods.
The list went on and on.
So picking the most difficult opponent he had ever faced would normally be up for spirited debate.
But now… now he knew.
It wasn't the Joker, Ra's, or any other villain. No, the source of his most terrible battle hadn't come from outside at all.
"As you can see in Exhibit A, Batman's butt was quite flat." Clark held up his phone, showing off some photos of Bruce's early Batman days. "Exhibit B, taken a few days later, however…"
"Ha!" Jean Valjean slapped his knee. "He padded his own butt!"
"Perhaps the angle is skewing it," Bruce interjected for what felt like the hundredth time.
"Oh? Maybe you're right." Clark grinned at him. "Should we check my folder?"
Bruce sighed as Jean Valjean cheered at the notion. He looked around the table to see if anyone was still sane.
Lois simply smirked at him, no doubt enjoying his discomfort to say the least. Bruce knew a lost battle when he saw one, so he glanced toward Dick and Barbara instead.
A slight spark of annoyance passed through him as he caught sight of Dick's red face. His son was obviously drunk, laughing along with Jean as the two continued to scroll through Clark's photos.
So much for mission support. He was going to have a very long talk with Dick after this.
"I'm feeling a bit warm." Barbara set her glass down. "Bruce, do you mind helping me get some fresh air?"
Seeing the escape for what it was, he nodded. "Gladly."
Perhaps because of the alcohol, the other four didn't really notice as Bruce left with Barbara.
The cold night air was a welcome relief as they stepped out onto the bar's private balcony. Thankfully, it was empty save the two of them.
Bruce exhaled, finally away from that particular corner of purgatory.
"Feeling better?" Barbara asked, smirking.
Bruce narrowed his eyes at her. "Really? You too?"
"Whatever could you mean?" Barbara rolled her eyes. "I'm not the one who padded his butt for 'operational security.'"
A dozen replies were sitting on the tip of his tongue. His reasoning had been entirely logical. The extra padding and pockets were tactical. They helped obscure his silhouette and created another small difference between Batman and Bruce Wayne.
Bruce placed his hands against the balcony railing and let out a deep sigh.
"Enough." Bruce shook his head. "You can all tease me about this later. Thoughts?"
Barbara snorted before moving her wheelchair over beside him, turning just enough to overlook the city.
"It's crazy, Bruce." She shook her head. "It's like he has his own gravitational pull. Everything just flows in his favor, almost literally. I've already seen it happen before, but I still can't quite believe it." She chuckled, then glanced back at him. "Have you checked your phone yet? Bruce Wayne vs. Batman is trending like crazy."
"Something I'll deal with later." Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. "It would be best not to let the situation remain in the public sphere for long, or it may risk my cover."
"Is cover the word we're using for pride these days?" Barbara snickered.
"You know, I never did tell Jim about the time you burned—" Bruce mused.
Barbara froze, then turned her head away and whistled with exaggerated innocence.
"We should really focus on the mission."
Bruce snorted. His fingers tapped against the railing as he looked out over the city.
"His luck is even more all-encompassing than I assumed," he said after a moment. "The presence of nearly a dozen media-affiliated employees connected to Wayne Industries, all there exactly when we set the meeting? The scale is too large to ignore."
His frown deepened.
"I may have to ask Zatanna or Doctor Fate for some sort of magical countermeasure. Even if the luck largely acts through his subconscious, it seems to be constantly influencing the city around him. That makes it too dangerous to ignore."
"You think it might impede us?"
"Despite his rather… laid-back manner, the man is still a criminal, Barbara." Bruce shot her a look. "Even if he is a better kind of criminal than the Joker or the crime families, his luck may subconsciously lean toward helping the crooks of this city simply because he means well by them. All it would take is a single mistake."
"What are you going to do then?" Barbara asked. "Despite how dangerous you're making it sound, I don't see you overreacting against him like you usually do with some big bad."
"I do not overreact." Bruce scoffed. "I'm meticulous."
"Kryptonite," Barbara said, looking back at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Clark gave that to me."
"All of it?" Barbara's eyebrow climbed a little higher. "Does Clark know about the multiple pounds of different kinds of Kryptonite sitting in the cave?"
"..."
Bruce looked away.
"Point taken. Still… I'm wary of planning anything within Gotham's vicinity. So despite what you may think, I am capable of trusting others."
"Oh." Barbara blinked. "That's why you told Z to leave?"
Bruce nodded, his gaze turning pensive as he stared out over Gotham.
"Anything I plan here might be influenced by his luck," he said. "Hopefully, being beyond the city's boundaries will allow Zatanna to find some kind of workaround without being impeded."
"Soo…" Barbara tilted her head. "What's the game plan for us, then?"
"Containment, hopefully." Bruce scowled. "I'm not a fan of it, but brute-forcing the situation will only make things worse. For now, I'm trusting that Jason can keep the organization in line long enough."
"Hmm…" Barbara paused, then chuckled. "I mean… I've got an idea, but you're probably not going to like it."
Bruce shook his head. "Anything is on the table."
"Well, his luck is subconscious, right?" Barbara asked, a slow grin forming on her face. "It twisted and bent that whole Bruce Wayne trend in your favor, didn't it?"
Bruce's eyes narrowed. "You don't mean…"
"Yes." Barbara giggled. "If he subconsciously helps Bruce Wayne, then what happens if you try to curb the organization as Bruce Wayne? Wouldn't the luck help you?" Her grin widened. "Or better yet, wouldn't it bend things so you both get what you want?"
Bruce opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
"You want me to befriend him?"
Barbara stared at him with a devilish grin. "Anything for the mission, right, Bruce?"
***
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I have advanced chapters on Pa tre on/daisyberry if you wanna read ahead.