[Viewer "Just Want to be a Quiet Rich Lady": Gag... I'm going to puke! My eyes are burning! This bro's leg hair is so thick you could use it as a steel wool scouring pad!]
Miles recoiled from the sudden, devastating wave of visual pollution. He instinctively leaned back in his chair, gasping in horror.
"Bro, you call this monstrosity sexy black stockings?" Miles asked, despair echoing from the depths of his soul.
Ohohohoho!
A bizarre, booming laugh erupted from the other side of the screen. It was a terrifying, heavy sound that somehow managed to be both gruff and artificially delicate.
"Oh, you don't like it...? Master Miles, these are pure, 100% natural, eco-friendly black stockings!" the streamer teased in a sickeningly sweet falsetto. "Search your conscience and tell me... are they sexy or not?"
That creepy, forced voice gave Miles full-body goosebumps. He shuddered, his legs trembling uncontrollably.
"Natural black stockings, my ass! That's just a built-in pair of wool long johns!" Miles snapped back bitterly. "Bro, I'm begging you, put away the dark magic and show us a proper Pokémon! If I stare at this biological weapon of yours any longer, I'm claiming permanent workplace eye injury!"
"Aiya, Master Miles is so funny. Alright, alright, I won't tease you guys anymore. Come on, let Master Miles and the chat get a good look at my cute little baby."
The streamer, Tiger, finally ended his visual terror attack, slowly panning the phone camera up toward his broad chest.
When the Pokémon cradled gently in his arms came into clear view, the traumatized look in Miles's eyes softened into genuine surprise.
It was a tiny, humanoid Pokémon, standing less than half a meter tall. She had dazzling, smooth blonde hair draping down to her shoulders.
Her face and round little belly were an adorable pinkish-purple, making it look like she was wearing a carefully applied mud mask and a tight purple bib. The rest of her upper body and her two petite feet were a bright yellow that perfectly matched her hair.
But her most unforgettable feature was her chubby round face. She had large, innocent, watery eyes, and thick lips that jutted out like two little pink sausages.
She looked exactly like an energetic human toddler. The little creature curiously batted her big eyes, studying the camera lens. Then, she suddenly leaned forward with excitement and planted a loud SMACK! right onto the screen.
The petite Pokémon pressed in close enough to leave a distinct, tender pink lip print on the glass, following it up with an innocent, heart-melting smile.
This sudden screen kiss instantly pushed the livestream's atmosphere to its peak. The chat, which had just been crying about their burning eyes, completely melted at the little creature's overwhelming cuteness.
[Viewer "Midnight Cultivator": Bro that's way too cute! What kind of fairy Pokémon is this?! That kiss just went straight to my heart!]
[Viewer "Worker Who Can't Afford Tea Eggs": I've never seen anything like it! She looks just like a human baby, she must be incredibly rare! She's definitely the absolute best of healing-type pets!]
[Viewer "Keyboard Holmes": This is too adorable! Blonde hair, pinkish-purple skin, looking like a little doll in a bellyband! Who could possibly resist those big blinking eyes?!]
[Viewer "Outlaw John Doe": Wait, analyzing this from a strict legal perspective... doesn't privately raising a highly humanoid Pokémon like this require special official permits? It's practically like raising a kid!]
[Viewer "Just Want to be a Quiet Rich Lady": Ahhhhh! My heart just melted! Muscular hairy-leg bro, name your price! I'll pay whatever it takes! I'm going to raise her like my own in a luxury villa!]
[Viewer "Canyon's Most Affectionate Jungler": This kind of Pokémon is a pet born to relieve stress! Just looking at her bright smile wiped away the tilt from my ten-game losing streak in ranked!]
[Viewer "Veteran Wild Pokémon Breeder": These physical characteristics... I can't find a single matching profile in the common index of the Federation Pokédex! Could this be a rare, undiscovered new species?!]
[Viewer "Elden Ring Gold Medal Lecturer": Even though Brother Tiger's lush leg hair made me uncomfortable, the little one in his arms is genuinely lovable. Master Miles, you're the expert here, drop some knowledge on us!]
On the other side of the screen, a burly man broadcasting under the handle [Wild & Steamy Straight Man Tiger] laughed proudly as his chat exploded with praise.
His arms were as thick as tree trunks, but he held the tender pink Pokémon with extreme care, terrified his rough muscles might accidentally hurt her.
The little creature was incredibly affectionate. Every few seconds, she leaned up to plant a loud Smack! on Tiger's cheek, leaving faint pink kiss marks behind.
"Master Miles, you're the number one appraiser on the net. Do you recognize what rare breed this little one is?" Tiger asked.
His rough, booming voice sharply contrasted with his gentle touch as he explained where he found her.
"You know that rare cold snap our city had a few days ago? It even snowed a bit. I was heading home from my late-night workout and found this shivering little thing. She was just huddled up in a corner of the downstairs flowerbed."
With a massive finger, Tiger gently stroked the little Pokémon's thick pink lips.
"She looked so pink and fragile, just like a helpless little girl. I couldn't bear to let her freeze out there, so I brought her home. But honestly, it's been a huge headache these past few days..."
"I searched the whole internet and couldn't figure out her species or what she's supposed to eat. All I could do was shred up some of my boiled chicken breast and share it with her."
Tiger's expression turned serious.
"I figured if even you couldn't identify her today, Master Miles, I'd have no choice but to surrender her to the city's Pokémon Rescue Center tomorrow. I can't selfishly keep her without knowing how to care for her. If I accidentally ruined her health just because I'm ignorant, that would be a downright sin."
Hearing Tiger's heartfelt words, genuine appreciation flashed in Miles's eyes.
Sure, the bro had a bizarre sense of humor and questionable leg hair, but his attitude toward Pokémon proved he was a responsible, loving guy. He was infinitely better than that foolish owner from a previous stream who almost starved her Poochyena to the brink of madness.
"Brother Tiger, just for that responsible attitude alone, I have to take a serious look for you," Miles said with a warm nod.
In truth, Miles already knew her true identity. The moment he saw the Pokémon's signature blonde hair, pinkish-purple skin, and exaggerated thick lips, he had her figured out.
But to get her precise individual stats, he silently activated the 'Eye of Pokémon Insight'.
Hum—!
A detailed data panel, glowing with a mysterious light visible only to Miles, instantly unfolded above the little Pokémon's head...
[Target: Smoochum (Kiss Pokémon)]
[Level: LV.6 (Immature infant stage)]
[Type: Ice / Psychic]
[Gender: Female (Female-only species)]
[Base Stat Rating: C-Rank (305, as an unevolved form, potential is decent)]
[Individual Values (IVs) Rating: B-Rank (107, healthy and well-developed normal aptitude)]
[Ability: Forewarn (Magically reads the opponent's most powerful move upon entering battle)]
[Nature: Naive (Speed ↑, Sp. Def ↓; pure, innocent, and full of vigorous curiosity about the world)]
[Mastered Moves: Lick, Pound, Powder Snow]
[Current Status: Excited and happy / Eager for intimate contact with humans]
Miles's gaze rapidly swept over the foundational data. When he reached the final entry, shimmering with a soft, pure white light, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly.
[Fate Entry: Natural Kisser (White) - This is an incredibly pure Pokémon. Her only way of perceiving this unfamiliar world and expressing affection is through her thick, sensitive lips. She lacks a sense of security and craves attention. While this entry provides no direct combat buffs, her pure kisses carry a faint psychic ripple that can effectively soothe the recipient's deep-seated anxiety. She is simply a clingy little fairy who craves love.]
'So it really is a Smoochum. A rare dual-type combination of Ice and Psychic. Plus, her Nature and Fate Entry match up perfectly. She's a textbook angel baby,' Miles thought knowingly.
In the vast Pokédex, Pokémon with both Ice and Psychic typings were incredibly rare, and the Smoochum line was the prime example. It was also a funny quirk of the Pokémon world that such a pink, human-like creature wasn't actually a Fairy-type.
Miles let his mind wander for a second, reflecting on how absurd Pokémon egg groups could be. The fact that a massive, ten-meter-long Wailord shared the Field Egg Group with a tiny Skitty—meaning they could theoretically reproduce—was a mental image he absolutely refused to entertain.
Pulling his thoughts back to the present, Miles remembered how severely lagging this parallel world's Pokémon knowledge was. Suddenly, he realized a critical blind spot.
Smoochum were so exceedingly rare here that people had absolutely no idea this adorable little creature was the unevolved form of the infamous, visually jarring Jynx that roamed the barren snowy mountains!
Looking at the tens of thousands of viewers thirsting for knowledge in his chat, a sly glint flashed in Miles's eyes. Blurting the answer out directly would be too boring. It would be much better to cleverly "borrow" the name of a mysterious "friend" to set up the perfect flex.
"Brother Tiger, to tell you the truth, even I was a little unsure when I first laid eyes on this rare Pokémon," Miles said. He furrowed his brows, perfectly faking the look of a man deep in thought, grappling with a blind spot in his expertise.
The moment he pulled this act, the veteran viewers in the chat instantly understood the routine and started spamming frantically.
[Viewer "Midnight Cultivator": Holy crap! Rare! This is the first time I've ever seen Master Miles make that uncertain face! Have we finally camped out long enough to find a Pokémon that even he doesn't recognize?!]
[Viewer "Worker Who Can't Afford Tea Eggs": Unprecedented! Even Master Miles has blind spots! This baby doll Pokémon must be rare to the extreme!]
[Viewer "Canyon's Most Affectionate Jungler": Cap! My sixth sense is telling me this is just Master Miles winding up to build suspense! Just wait patiently to get your faces slapped!]
[Viewer "Keyboard Holmes": +1! Every time Master Miles makes this brooding face, he's about to drop an ultimate comeback!]
[Viewer "Outlaw John Doe": The suspense! Is Master Miles about to casually bring up his mysterious 'high-end research institute friend' again?!]
[Viewer "Just Want to be a Quiet Rich Lady": LMAO! The classic 'I have a friend' routine is making a grand return! Stop acting, Master Miles, just spit it out already!]
Seeing the chat perfectly predict his exact next move, Miles's mouth twitched, though he maintained his profound, enigmatic smile. These viewers were getting way too smart for their own good.
"Ahem... well, since you all guessed it, I won't pretend anymore," Miles chuckled, clearing his throat to ride the momentum.
His tone shifted, becoming serious and professional. "I did just secretly use the internal network to consult a friend at the Federation's top research institute about this Pokémon's specific data."
"This Pokémon is quite special," Miles continued. "I don't know if anyone in the chat has ever heard of a Pokémon that lives deep within the freezing, permafrost mountains year-round—Jynx?"
"Jynx?" Tiger froze on the other side of the screen. He scratched his bald head, clearly unfamiliar with the name. "The name sounds unique, but what does it have to do with this little one?"
Miles took a deep breath and dropped the bombshell.
"It has everything to do with her. Brother Tiger, that little one in your arms is none other than the infant, unevolved form of Jynx! While the official Pokédex might not have formally cataloged her yet, academic circles generally call her—Smoochum!"
The moment the words left his mouth, a brief silence fell over the stream.
Then, like a depth charge detonating in the servers, the chat instantly erupted with a nuclear-level reaction!
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