Minato followed Bitch through the empty expanse of Naruto's mindscape, a landscape as bizarre as it was disappointing. It was a sprawling void punctuated only by the occasional floating ramen bowl, a poorly constructed replica of the Hokage Monument, and a handful of frogs croaking aimlessly on lily pads. The entire scene gave off the impression that Naruto's brain was designed by an unsupervised child given unlimited access to crayons and glue sticks.
"Naruto's mind is... creative," Minato offered diplomatically, though his voice betrayed a deep sense of concern.
"Incorrect," Bitch said without hesitation, her glowing sapphire eyes scanning the environment. "Naruto's mind is simplistic, disorganized, and deeply inefficient. Dattebayo."
Minato winced. It stung hearing his daughter, even a synthetic version of her, being criticized like this, but… looking around, it was hard to argue. "I mean, it's not that bad—"
"Incorrect," Bitch interrupted. "Naruto's cognitive landscape reflects a troubling lack of focus and intellectual rigor. Observe: ramen bowls constitute 73% of the available memory space. Amphibians account for an additional 12%. The remaining 15% is devoted to poorly rendered simulations of authority figures. Her efficiency rating is… abysmal. Dattebayo."
Minato sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "Well, she's still young. Maybe she'll grow into—"
"Unlikely," Bitch interjected, her tone as flat as ever. "Naruto's intellectual capacity is largely fixed. She is, by most metrics, an idiot."
Minato flinched, clutching his chest as if physically struck. "Ouch. That's… harsh."
"Accurate," Bitch replied without a shred of emotion. "Now, observe." She gestured dramatically, and the scenery shifted, revealing a massive iron gate looming ominously in the distance. The structure was immense, its bars stretching impossibly high, and a slip of paper with the word "SEAL" written in bold calligraphy was plastered across the lock.
Minato's heart sank. "That's… the Kyuubi's prison."
"Incorrect," Bitch corrected, leading him toward the gate. "This is the Cell, a suboptimal containment mechanism that has been rendered obsolete due to external interference. The Kyuubi is no longer contained. Its chakra has spilled into 2B's core systems, causing widespread malfunction. Dattebayo."
Minato frowned. "Wait, if the Fox isn't in the cell, then where—"
"Here," Bitch said, snapping her fingers. The shadows beyond the gate stirred, and a massive pair of glowing red eyes emerged, followed by a snarl that shook the very fabric of the mindscape. The Kyuubi's enormous form stepped into the light, its fur bristling with raw malice, and its teeth bared in a menacing growl.
"YOU," the Kyuubi snarled, its deep, guttural voice dripping with venom as its gaze locked onto Minato. "THE FOURTH HOKAGE."
Minato smiled sheepishly, offering a small wave. "Uh… hey, Kyuubi. Long time no see."
"DO NOT ADDRESS ME SO CASUALLY, YOU WRETCHED HUMAN!" Kyuubi roared, slamming its massive claws against the gate. The bars rattled violently, though they held firm. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
"I'm, uh, here to fix Naruto," Minato said, trying to sound confident but faltering under the Fox's glare. "She's… having some technical issues."
"GOOD," Kyuubi spat. "LET HER MALFUNCTION. LET HER FAIL. THAT INSOLENT BRAT DESERVES TO SUFFER."
Minato's smile faltered. "Come on, she's not that bad—"
"SHE IS INSUFFERABLE!" Kyuubi interrupted, its tails lashing behind it in agitation. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE TRAPPED IN HER PATHETIC BODY? CONSTANT PRAISE, ENDLESS RAMBLING, AND THAT INFURIATING THIRD-PERSON NONSENSE. 'NARUTO WILL DO THIS. NARUTO WILL DO THAT.' SHE MAKES ME WISH FOR EXTINCTION."
"Well, that's… harsh," Minato said, glancing at Bitch, who nodded in silent agreement.
"IT GETS WORSE," Kyuubi continued, its voice rising in pitch. "SHE TRIES TO PRAISE ME. ME. THE NINE-TAILED FOX, THE EMBODIMENT OF DESTRUCTION. SHE CALLED ME 'FLUFFY,' MINATO. FLUFFY!"
Minato bit his lip to keep from laughing. "That, uh, does sound frustrating."
"FRUSTRATING DOES NOT BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT," Kyuubi roared. "I AM A BEING OF PURE MALICE, NOT SOME CUDDLY PLUSH TOY. AND YET SHE INSISTS ON TALKING TO ME AS THOUGH I'M SOME KIND OF… OF PET!"
"Maybe she's just trying to connect with you?" Minato offered weakly.
Kyuubi's eyes narrowed dangerously. "DO NOT DEFEND HER. SHE IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HER KIND. AND NOW YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP HER? TO FIX HER? NEVER. I WOULD SOONER SEE HER DESTROYED."
Minato sighed, rubbing his temples. "Look, I get it. She's… a lot. But she's also my daughter, and I can't just give up on her."
"THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM," Kyuubi snapped. "NOT MINE."
"Actually, it's both of our problems," Minato countered, his voice firming. "If she malfunctions, you're stuck in her body. And if she self-destructs, you go down with her. So maybe—just maybe—you could try working with us instead of against us."
Kyuubi's growl rumbled deep in its chest, but it didn't immediately respond. Minato took the silence as a small victory.
Bitch, meanwhile, stepped forward. "Resolution of this conflict is necessary for system repair. Cooperation is non-negotiable. Dattebayo."
Kyuubi let out a low, guttural snarl. "Fine. I will cooperate. But only because I refuse to let that brat take me down with her. This is not for her sake. It is for mine."
"Fair enough," Minato said, clapping his hands together. "So, what's the first step?"
Kyuubi's lips curled into a sneer. "You will find out soon enough, Fourth Hokage. And I assure you, it will not be pleasant."
Minato gulped. "Great. Looking forward to it."
Û~Û
Author Note:
I hope you liked this chapter.
Naruto, in Sage Mode, has glowing jade eyes. Without that, she has normal glowing sapphire eyes.
Drop your thoughts in the review section. Your words inspire me to write faster, better and with more depth.
Till next time!