I smiled strangely calmly at his question...
Why did I do that?
I have no idea.
Just as I have no idea why I had those thoughts.
My former self would never even think of taking advantage of her, so we would never have reached that point...
I probably won't be able to sleep thinking about the answer...
But if I were to say anything — it's just that I would have backed off at that moment.
... I'm changing. Is that good? Maybe it is.
Slowly. Step by step, I'm leaving my former self behind...
No.
I'm leaving my doubts, fears, and insecurities behind.
Or not.
I don't know either.
My mental integrity is too low—14%—to be sure of anything.
Am I falling? Am I rising? Or am I just being myself?
Maybe all at once, but it wasn't as if it mattered much anyway.
It's part of life, and I don't regret anything.
Change is natural.
Whether it's for better or worse, it's just nonsense.
Who classifies that?
Peace?
Comfort?
The interests of others?
Ironically...
Madness made me comfortable. Satisfied with myself.
... Sigh. What am I thinking? A girl full of expectations is in front of you, Lucca, and you're philosophizing right now?
What would the old man say?
Nothing...
He would just hit me.
Not to mention, since when do I do that? Loneliness makes you think...
Ignoring my thoughts, I focused entirely on Lydia. She really was beautiful...
Having attitude really is something, isn't it?
But...
"What are you thinking? I just said I don't want to do this... And you want to know how I would do it?"
I asked, moving closer, running my hand through her hair, now behind her ear.
She didn't flinch at my gesture, but my question embarrassed her. Lydia just stared at the floor for a few seconds before speaking.
"You know... I like dark romances..."
Her voice was low, but I could understand...
But at the same time, I didn't want to understand.
Now it made sense...
Crazy.
Who in their right mind is a fan of that in 2074?
I smiled morbidly. Now I wanted to do it even less.
"Run away."
Grandpa would probably say that. He has the credibility to say that...
The old man made a point of showing me his knife scars several times....
Have I entered some kind of spiral of bad luck?
Am I cursed? Nah. I'm not that important.
But putting that aside...
I stepped back a little and said:
"If you haven't noticed, I'm far from being the alpha sigma beta omega deluxe who's going to beat you up, kidnap you, use you, and then say he loves you and it was for your own good... I don't have the looks, you know? Haha."
The mood was already ruined...
I'm not going to have sex today, Grandpa.
Why a dark romance reader? I regret not just taking advantage of her without knowing this information beforehand.
Although my conscience wouldn't have let me... She would still seem "pure."...
I wasn't even paying attention anymore, thinking she had left, disappointed, when I felt a hand on my arm. I turned my face and...
Her gaze, though tearful, was still full of expectation and something else...
"So it's just the looks that are missing, right? Don't worry..."
I stared blankly as she crawled on top of me. Licking my ear, she said:
"I never liked the handsome ones... Since I was little, I only read books if the main character was ugly..."
... What?!
She's even worse than I imagined.
And what's the need for that critical blow?
That really made me discouraged and sad...
So, from the beginning... Was it because I was ugly?
... Yeah. I should have been suspicious of this huge handout.
Without any remorse, I pushed Lydia. She fell to the ground, hitting her head...
I broke out in a cold sweat.
Pain...
Pain would only make her type worse...
Without thinking too much, I ran out of the tent toward Bianca's tent, shouting:
"Help! Dark romance reader!"
This seemed to catch the attention of the entire camp, who looked at me strangely, totally lost, before understanding when they saw Lydia coming out of the tent, but I didn't care. I just ran.
Reaching Bianca's tent, I started banging on it, calling her. It didn't work...
No. No. And no.
"Master!"
I looked back, horrified. Her voice was sweet as she called out to me...
She was getting closer. In desperation, I tried to force the tent open, but I couldn't.
Doing that with my left hand was horrible.
With no other choice, I ran in another direction.
"Theo! Help me, man."
Theo, who had been watching everything with curiosity for a few seconds, smiled at me as he stepped in front of me. I sighed with relief...
I felt safe for a moment...
Literally for a moment, before I started running again. Theo's expression said:
"It's not going to work."
Son of a bitch...
I tripped over a branch while running through the woods. It was dark, but I could see Lydia's mana approaching...
I ran some more. As far as I could...
Before a small hand grabbed me. Her grip was strong...
Fighting back was not an option.
It was over.
"Master. You can't run like this. You made me insolent...
Then you'll punish me for what I'm going to do, won't you?"
I was thrown to the ground as I heard that. Lydia mounted me right after...
Her clothes fell off as I screamed.
"Bianca!"
.... Unfortunately, I would only find out how spiteful she was the next day.
Very petty, Bianca.