I woke up in a familiar place.
Grains of sand shifted beneath my feet.
Bright light poured down from above, forcing my eyes shut for a moment.
There was a familiar weight in my right hand.
My fingers were tightening around a loose strip of leather.
I raised my arm, lifting the sword toward my face.
It was the same longsword I had trained with every day.
The same weight that was once too heavy for me.
The same worn-down leather strip I had to retie again and again.
I stared at the blade.
Its edge was dull, chipped in places.
In the metal's reflection—
Two blue eyes stared back at me.
The color was the same blue as before.
But they felt colder.
Not bright anymore.
Having stared enough, I lowered the sword and looked ahead.
I was standing in the center of the arena.
A massive metal gate towered before me.
It was strange.
Everything looked the same.
The sand.
The walls.
The gate.
But why did it seem like the gate was much taller than normally?
I had to slightly lift my chin to look upon its whole frame.
Beyond it, high enough for my neck to hurt as I looked up, was the empty podium. Rows of seats stretched at its sides, circling the arena.
It was a familiar place.
I had spent even more time here than in the cell.
Training and duels.
But it still felt strange when I stood here alone.
The massive colosseum was empty.
No crowd.
No guards.
No other teens.
Only me.
There was nobody else here.
I was alone.
Just as the thought came—
Step.
Steps echoed across the arena.
My head turned at once.
And there...
A few meters away from me.
Stood a teen.
The number stitched onto his shirt—
His black hair clung to his forehead, damp with sweat. He stared, brown eyes fixed on me as he drew closer.
Step.
There was a deep red wound at his throat, growing wider as he moved.
But no blood gushed out of it.
His chest and throat were colored crimson, yet no blood fell to the ground.
Step.
He halted before me and looked down at me from his slightly taller height.
Silence settled between us as we stared at each other.
Then—
"You killed me."
His voice was clear, as if there wasn't a hole in his throat.
My chest tightened at his words, fingers clenching around the sword's grip.
I let out a breath, calming down, and nodded.
"I know."
Step.
He stepped closer.
We were now only an arm's length apart.
His voice was steady.
"They gave me mercy."
I answered without breaking the stare, voice firm.
"I didn't."
Silence settled again.
He raised his arm, touching the hole in his throat, fingers brushing over it carefully as he whispered.
"Why?"
His eyes never leaving me.
"Why did you kill me?"
Another question.
I let out a breath and drove my sword into the sand before dropping down.
Thud.
I fell straight to the ground and shifted my legs until I sat comfortably.
"Why did I kill you…"
The question rolled over my tongue.
Thud.
He sat down as well.
I closed my eyes for a moment before opening them again, looking him straight in the eyes.
"Because you betrayed me," I said. "You told the guards about the metal piece I was hiding."
I swallowed.
"I was punished," my voice was firm. "They tied me to a stone pillar and whipped me ten times."
My back throbbed at the memory.
Slashes that split skin and flesh alike.
The chains that cut into my wrists.
The agony and pain I felt at that moment surfaced again.
I forced the memory away and spoke again.
"I had spared your life once."
A pause.
"But all I received in return was pain."
He listened quietly to every word of mine
Then—
"That's why you killed me?" he asked, confirming.
"Yes."
A short laugh escaped him.
"You are lying."
My eyes widened, jaw tight.
"No, I—"
But he interrupted me.
"You are. And we both know it."
He tilted his head as if he were just curious and asked again.
"Why did you kill me?"
Silence.
I didn't know what to say.
I had already answered his question.
A lie?
It didn't make any sense.
This whole situation didn't make sense.
Nevertheless, I closed my eyes and thought.
Why?
Why did I kill him?
They spared him.
I didn't have to kill him, but I still did.
So why?
When I opened my eyes again, I answered with the first thing that surfaced.
"I was angry."
Anger.
And—
A smile spread across his face.
"That's better."
He pressed his palms on his thighs and leaned forward.
"So… why were you angry?"
I thought back to that moment.
My hand gripping the sword firmly, its tip pointed at his throat.
Then—
I stabbed.
What had I felt?
Why was I angry?
"Because you betrayed me."
He shook his head slowly.
"Another lie."
Frustration built.
I opened my mouth and closed it again, searching for the right words before answering.
"I was angry at myself."
A breath.
"I was angry at you, the guards, the masters, the crowd—the entire world."
Clap.
He clapped softly, the smile returning to his lips.
"Better."
Then he raised a finger toward the wound in his throat.
"So why me?"
I opened my mouth—
"Don't lie."
But stopped at his words and closed it again.
My hands clenched into fists.
"Because I can't kill them."
The truth hurt.
"They're too strong."
I bit my lip.
"But you weren't."
The words left a bitter taste in my mouth.
"That's why I killed you."
The silence after my answer felt heavy.
He smiled again, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Do you see it?"
He continued before I could ask what he meant.
"That you're becoming just like them—like us."
His words cut like a blade.
"A murderer."
Cold spread through my chest.
"You killed someone weaker than you just because you couldn't face the strong."
His smile had already faded.
"Wasn't it you who said....Hmm, what was it again? 'The world had gone mad'?"
He lifted his hand and pointed at me.
"Isn't it you who had become mad?"
My breathing grew uneven.
"Killing upon killing."
His voice rose.
"It wasn't the masters who swung the sword. It was you."
I shook my head.
"No—"
But he interrupted me again.
Tap.
He leaned forward, bloodied hand tapping against my chest.
"Writing their numbers on your wall as if it were a kill list, but acting like a saint honoring the dead. What did you say?"
His laugh felt hollow.
"I'll remember them," he mocked. "What are you remembering? Their faces? Or the thrill as you killed them?"
My ears rang.
"You are no victim," he said. "Each day you become a little more like them."
My heart drummed violently.
"When will you kill the next one? Will it be out of anger again? Or—"
Suddenly.
I couldn't hear anymore.
His lips moved, opening and closing, but no sound reached me.
Then—
I felt it.
Warmth.
It wrapped around my ears, covering them.
The warmth took shape and turned into hands.
Carefully pressed against my ears.
I knew those hands.
But before I could speak, came her voice—a soft whisper.
"My love."
It was gentle.
"Your nightmare is over."
The moment she finished was when my surroundings changed.
A black fracture spread like a spiderweb across the ceiling.
The crack widened, letting me look beyond it—pitch black darkness. It felt endless, but also like the end itself.
The ceiling cracked, and stones descended to the ground.
THUD.
THUD.
Chunks of stone fell like meteors, leaving clouds of dust where they hit ground.
Crack.
Then the ground split apart.
Black-colored stones smashed into the ground, spreading the darkness.
The darkness devoured with each second another part of the arena.
Until—
Only I was left.
Standing in the center of absolute darkness.
There was nothing.
My heart pounded violently.
Bathump.
A tremor spread through me, making my limbs tremble.
Bathump.
Time stretched.
Seconds felt like hours.
And hours like seconds.
No matter where I looked, there was only darkness.
Then—
As I was staring for a moment too long.
It felt like something stared back at me.
An invisible gaze made my body go numb, my strength drained, legs buckling.
Just as I was about to collapse.
"My love."
Sound.
Weak.
But it reached me.
Again—
"My love!"
A voice.
The voice echoed from everywhere and nowhere.
It was loud and quiet at the same time.
Right beside me and far away.
I didn't know where to look as I searched for the speaker.
Then—
"Wake up."
It came again.
Now, as a whisper only meant for me.
And—
I understood who the voice belonged to.
Lisa.
It was her voice.
I closed my eyes.
***
"Hah—!"
My eyes snapped open.
I rose immediately, sitting up.
Pain exploded across my back with the movement.
My breath came in sharp gasps.
Then—
As my vision cleared.
Stone walls.
Metal bars.
Bunk beds.
The cell.
I was back.