The office felt colder than usual, not in temperature though. Everything was set exactly the same, the air conditioning humming softly above polished glass and muted voices. But in the way, time moved Slower, Thinner. Like it was stretching itself just to see how long Cealum could sit still. He didn't. His phone lit up, A calendar reminder. A follow-up email. A message from someone whose name blurred the moment he read it. His thumb hovered anyway, betraying him, unlocking the screen before he could stop himself. Nothing. No new notifications. Nothing from her. Cealum exhaled through his nose, slow, controlled, like he was tempering something that didn't need to be this loud inside him.
"Your thoughts?" The voice cut clean through the room.
He looked up. Too fast, All eyes were on him, expectant, mildly impatient. The kind of silence that didn't tolerate distraction. He straightened, adjusted the cuff of his sleeve like that had been the only thing occupying him.
"Yes," he said smoothly. "We move forward with the second proposal. The first lacks… longevity."
A few nods. Pens moving again. The meeting resumed. But his phone stayed face-up beside his hand this time. By the time it ended, he was already halfway out the door before the last chair scraped back.
No one stopped him. They rarely did.
The atmosphere was calmer than usual. Late enough to thin the crowd, early enough that the night hadn't fully claimed the space. Warm lights, low music, the faint clink of cups against saucers.
Sugar was behind his desk. Of course he was. Cealum didn't announce himself. He didn't need to. Sugar glanced up once, then again, longer this time. Taking in the suit, the stiffness in his shoulders, the way his presence always seemed just a little too deliberate.
"You look like someone who forgot how to sit still," Sugar said, typing.
Cealum ignored that. "She got back alright?" Direct. Almost.
Sugar didn't answer immediately. He took his time, setting the file aside, leaning slightly against the table like this was just another casual exchange. "Nyra?" he asked, though he already knew.
Cealum's jaw shifted. "You know who I mean."
A small smile tugged at Sugar's mouth. "She got back," he said. "In one piece. Didn't look like she regretted the evening either, if that's what you're asking."
Cealum nodded once. That should've been enough, It wasn't. His fingers tapped once against the table. Stilled.
"And… Aeris?" he added, like it was an afterthought. Like it cost him nothing.
Sugar's eyes flickered, quick, sharp. There it was. Not the question. The real question. He let the silence stretch just a second longer than necessary.
"Haven't heard from her," Sugar said lightly. "But I'll let you know if she calls."
Cealum's gaze lifted, meeting his. Something unspoken passed between them, acknowledged, not addressed.
"Do that," Cealum said.
Sugar nodded. Cealum stayed for a moment longer, Not sitting. Not making demands or anything, Just… there. Like he was waiting for something else to happen. When it didn't, he turned and left. Outside, the night had settled properly now. Cooler. Quieter. His phone buzzed. Cealum stopped walking. Pulled it out with some sort of enthusiasm, Looked. Not her. Not Aeris. Just another message that didn't matter. He stared at the screen a second longer than necessary before locking it again. And this time, when he slipped it back into his pocket, He didn't check it again.
The drive back home was shorter than usual. He drove really fast, not capturing the beauty of the evening. He drove as though something waited for him at home, beyond the dark night.
The door shut behind him with a soft, final click. Cealum didn't move immediately. For a moment, he just stood there, keys still in hand, the faint echo of the outside world dissolving into the stillness of his apartment. It was always like this. Order. Silence. Control. Exactly how he liked it. Exactly how he needed it. He set the keys down in their place. Not tossed, placed. Jacket off, folded over the arm of the chair. Shoes aligned neatly beside the wall. His phone rested face-up on the table for half a second before he turned it over, screen down this time, deliberately. Like that would quiet something. It didn't. The apartment carried no trace of the evening. No lingering sound of laughter, no presence that wasn't his own. Just clean lines, muted tones, and the quiet hum of a life kept carefully in check. He moved through it on instinct. Watch off. Cufflinks set aside. Each motion precise, practiced, like if he kept everything in order out here, nothing inside him would dare slip out of place. It almost worked, Almost.
The shower came on with a steady rush, steam beginning to gather almost instantly, curling into the corners of the room, softening the sharp edges of everything. Cealum stepped in without hesitation. The water hit his shoulders, hot enough to sting for a second before settling into something deeper. He exhaled, longer this time, heavier. Like he'd been holding it in all evening without realizing. Or maybe he had. His head tipped forward, water running through his hair, down his face, over closed eyes. And that was when it started. Not sudden, Not overwhelming, Just… there. A thought he didn't stop, a thought he didn't want to stop nor correct. A thought he didn't push away.
He shifted slightly under the stream, one hand braced against the tile, the other dragging slowly down his face, his neck, feeling his pores and following a silent rhythm, pausing, just for a second, like he'd caught himself in something he wasn't supposed to linger in. But he didn't move away. The steam thickened, wrapping around him, blurring the room until it felt smaller. Closer. Like the outside world had no place here, Only what he let in. Only who he let in. His mind drifted to Aries. How beautiful she looked running towards him under the rain, how soaked her dress was and how erect and defined her nipples were.
Her breast were the perfect round, and her lips the softest. He remembered the feel on her skin on his lips when he kissed her hand and the sound of her voice when she called out his name. His jaw tightened.
There were Thoughts he didn't entertain in daylight. But here, with the water drowning out everything else, There was no one to hear them. No one to question the way his control loosened, piece by careful piece.
He let his head fall back against the tile this time, eyes still closed, breath shifting, subtle, but not steady anymore. Whatever he was thinking… Whoever he was thinking about, He didn't stop it. Didn't want to. He trailed his hand down to his dick and with each stroke, envisioned her grabbing on to him, riding on him, screaming and moaning while he spanks her from behind. He stroke deeper and more vigorously then let out a scream, long, loud, satisfying.
The water kept running.
Time passed, unmeasured, unstructured, unlike everything else in his life. And when he finally moved again, it wasn't abrupt, It was slow. Like he was choosing, once more, to gather himself back together. By the time he stepped out, the bathroom was thick with steam, the mirror completely fogged over. No reflection, No evidence. Just heat slowly fading into quiet. He dried off, dressed, and returned everything to its place. Exactly as it had been. Like nothing had shifted, Like nothing had slipped.
But when he reached for his phone, he paused. Just for a second. Then picked it up anyway. The screen lit up just as he unlocked it. A message. He almost didn't look, But something in him, something that had been restless all evening moved faster than his discipline. He tapped it open.
Aeris.
The name alone was enough to shift something in his chest.
Hey…
Are you free tomorrow?
I'd like to see you.
I have something for you.
Cealum stared at the message. Like the words might rearrange themselves into something less dangerous if he gave them time. They didn't. His thumb hovered over the screen.
He started typing.
When?
No. Deleted.
You didn't have to.
Deleted.
Come over.
That one stayed longer than the others. Long enough for the cursor to blink at him like it was waiting. Like it expected him to follow through. Like this was simple. Like this was him. It wasn't. Cealum exhaled slowly, the breath leaving him quieter than it had any right to. His thumb pressed against the screen…Held…Then cleared the text completely.
Silence again.
Just the message. Just the invitation. Just the version of himself that had almost answered it without thinking. His jaw tightened slightly. Not out of frustration. More so out of correction. "This is not who you are". The thought came clean. Practiced. Familiar. A line drawn and redrawn so many times it no longer wavered. He was not impulsive. He did not reach. He did not respond to every pull, every want, every moment that asked something soft of him. He was measured, Controlled. He was Cealum Rhaith. And Cealum Rhaith did not reply like that. The phone dimmed slightly in his hand, Still open. Still waiting. He locked it. Just like that.
The room felt quieter after. Not heavier. Not lighter either, Just… settled. Like something had been decided, whether he liked it or not. He set the phone down on the table, this time without turning it over. It didn't matter. He wasn't going to check it again. His night routine came easily after that. Shirt changed. Softer fabric. Darker tones. Movements slower now, less precise, but no less intentional. The edges of him, so sharp all day, began to dull into something more human. More tired. By the time he lay down, the apartment had returned to its usual stillness. No distractions. No interruptions. No unanswered messages demanding anything of him. For a moment, he stared at the ceiling, Blank. A thought tried to surface: A what-if. He didn't follow it. Instead, he turned slightly, settling into the quiet like it was something he had earned Or something he had chosen. And for the first time in a long time, Cealum didn't bring out the drawer picture for his night rituals, he didn't try to distract himself by reading or doing late night yoga. For the first time in a long time, Cealum slept.