Lockhart hid inside his office for less than thirty seconds.
But the increasingly frantic screams from the students outside lashed at his fragile pride like a whip.
After calming down slightly, he realized the situation was terrible.
If he didn't go back out soon, the reputation of being a coward would spread across Hogwarts by tomorrow.
Taking a deep breath, he suddenly flung the door open.
He struck what he believed was a heroic pose and rushed back into the disaster.
"Everyone remain calm! They're only… only overly lively little troublemakers!"
He shouted loudly, trying to drown out the pixies' shrill cries.
"Now! Watch carefully as a true master of Defense Against the Dark Arts—"
Before he could finish—
A blue pixie flew over his head carrying an entire bottle of ink.
Whoosh!
A streak of dark blue liquid poured straight onto his carefully styled golden curls.
Lockhart's magnificent hairstyle instantly collapsed.
Several strands of blond hair stuck to his forehead, dripping ink.
He looked utterly ridiculous.
"My hair!"
He shrieked in panic.
Completely losing control, he began wildly waving his wand and shouting random spells.
"Serpensortia!"
A flash burst from his wand.
But instead of affecting the pixies, the classroom skeleton in the corner suddenly sprang to life.
It began performing an energetic tap dance, its bones clacking loudly against each other, adding a bizarre rhythm to the chaos.
"Ennervate!"
Another completely irrelevant spell.
A torn copy of Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Defense suddenly began loudly reciting its introduction in a sorrowful voice.
Each spell Lockhart cast only made things worse.
The already chaotic classroom turned even more absurd.
The students were having an even harder time.
Ron had two pixies swinging from his red hair like a pair of mischievous children on a swing.
Harry had taken cover under a desk, using a heavy copy of Standard Book of Spells, Grade Two as a shield while desperately blocking dive-bombing pixies.
"We have to do something!"
Hermione finally snapped out of the shock of her shattered idol.
Seeing Neville still dangling from the chandelier, her face filled with worry.
She drew her wand and aimed at a pixie trying to untie Ron's shoelaces.
"Impedimenta!"
A red beam shot forward.
The pixie flipped gracefully through the air like an acrobat and dodged the spell easily.
The beam struck an empty suit of armor instead.
CLANG!
The armor flew backward as if hit by an invisible fist, crashing into several desks and starting another chain reaction.
"Petrificus Totalus!"
Hermione tried again, targeting a pixie tearing down a tapestry.
Her aim was perfect—
But the pixies were simply too fast.
The tiny creature twisted its body at the last moment and slipped past the spell.
The spell hit a nearby portrait instead.
Inside the painting, the Fat Friar froze mid-toast, forever stuck holding his goblet.
Hermione was breathing heavily now.
Sweat dotted her forehead.
In this chaotic environment, her normally precise spellcasting couldn't keep up with so many fast-moving targets.
No one seemed able to stop the chaos.
At that moment, several of the most cunning pixies grew bored with simple destruction.
They turned their attention to Lockhart himself.
One pixie swooped down like a fighter jet.
Before Lockhart could react, the creature snatched the wand from his hand with a quick hook of its fingers.
Then it triumphantly waved the wand in the air.
Without his wand, Lockhart looked like a tiger with its teeth removed.
Another pixie quietly drifted behind him.
In full view of the entire class, it grabbed Lockhart's thick golden hair with both tiny hands.
Then—
Yanked upward.
Time seemed to freeze.
The beautiful golden wig lifted cleanly off his head and floated through the air in a graceful arc.
It landed among a group of pixies, who immediately passed it around like a prized trophy.
Standing on the platform was Gilderoy Lockhart, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award.
Now completely stunned.
Revealing a shiny, slightly bald scalp under the classroom lights.
For three full seconds—
The classroom fell silent.
Students hiding under desks.
Students hanging from the chandelier.
Students being tugged by their hair.
All of them looked up at the same ridiculous scene.
Then someone snorted.
"Pfft—"
That single laugh ignited the room.
Laughter exploded everywhere.
Giggles and howls of amusement filled the classroom, louder even than the pixies' shrieks.
Lockhart's final piece of dignity—
The one he had treasured most—
Had been ripped away and crushed beneath the laughter of the entire class.
~~--------------------------
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