They stood in the shower together, steam filling the space.
Nana was STARING again.
*She's doing it. The staring. At sunflower. For the seventeenth morning in a row. Will this ever stop being her favorite morning activity?*
He flicked her forehead.
"OW! I was just LOOKING!"
"You're always 'just looking.'"
"But it's INTERESTING!" She tilted her head, genuinely curious. "Does it just... hang like that? All the time?"
...
* She's asking about the resting state of my anatomy. With complete innocence. Like asking about weather patterns.*
He huffed a laugh, unable to help himself. "What did you THINK it does? Run marathons?"
She GIGGLED. "Maybe! I don't KNOW! It moves sometimes!"
"That's called physiological response to stimuli—"
She POKED it.
Poke poke.
*She poked it. Again. This is our morning routine now. Shower. Stare. Poke. Flick forehead. Repeat.*
He flicked her forehead again.
"STOP FLICKING ME!"
"Stop poking."
"But it's RIGHT THERE—"
*It IS right there. Excellent spatial awareness on her part. Also: this conversation is ridiculous.*
"Turn around," he sighed. "Let me wash your hair before you traumatize sunflower further."
"Can sunflower BE traumatized—"
"TURN. AROUND."
She did, giggling, and he worked shampoo through her hair methodically.
*Her hair is soft. Always soft. Even when the rest of her is chaos incarnate.*
When he finished, she spun back around. "My turn!"
* My turn. She insists on this. Every morning. Even though I'm 186cm and she's 153cm and the height difference makes this anatomically challenging.*
He bent down—his back PROTESTING at the angle—and she worked shampoo through his hair with the focus of a surgeon performing delicate operations.
Then she cupped his face, squishing his cheeks gently.
*She's squishing my face. Like a stress ball. Like a hamster checking another hamster for food storage.*
"You're SO handsome!" she beamed. "I'm such a lucky hamster! I won the universe! The WHOLE universe!"
*She won the universe by marrying me. Her self-assessment of victory is medically inaccurate. I'm the one who won.*
He smiled—unable to stop himself—and pecked her lips quickly.
"I'm the lucky one."
"NO! I am!"
"We're both lucky. Now rinse before the water gets cold."
*Compromised. We're BOTH lucky. This is the correct medical diagnosis.*
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🌻🌻🌻
Zayne pulled into the parking lot to drop Nana off at her classes.
That's when they saw them.
A GROUP of young women. Standing near the entrance. All STARING at his car.
Oh no.
"Why are those girls STARING?" Nana asked, suddenly ALERT.
"They're probably just—"
One of them took a PICTURE.
Of his car.
Of HIM through the windshield.
* My fangirls. From the hospital. How did they find me here? Have they been FOLLOWING me? This is concerning from multiple perspectives.*
Nana's eyes NARROWED. "They're taking pictures of MY husband."
"Nana—"
"They're looking at you like—like PREY!"
*Accurate assessment. They do look predatory. This is bad.*
She grabbed his tie—HARD—and pulled.
He CHOKED. "Nana—can't breathe—"
"FRENCH KISS ME!"
"What—"
"FRENCH KISS ME RIGHT NOW SO THEY KNOW YOU'RE TAKEN! BY CUTE HAMSTER WIFE!"
*She wants me to perform public displays of affection as territorial marking. This is. Actually logical. Also impossible.*
"I can't kiss you in public—"
"WHY NOT?!"
"Professional reputation—"
She deployed THE POUT. The ULTIMATE WEAPON.
* The pout. The BIG EYES. The trembling lower lip. She's using EVERYTHING.*
"Please?" she whispered. "They're looking at you like you're AVAILABLE—"
* I am not available. I am EXTREMELY unavailable. Married. Devoted. Completely gone for my wife. But she needs PROOF. Public proof.*
*I'm a weak man.*
He sighed (#878), then bent down and pecked her lips. Soft. Quick. Then her forehead.
*Public kiss deployed. Minimal. Appropriate. This should satisfy—*
"THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!"
*It's never enough.*
He opened his car door, stepped out—still holding her hand—and pulled her out with him.
The group of fangirls went SILENT.
He faced them directly, then held up his left hand, showing his WEDDING RING prominently.
"I'm married," he said clearly, loud enough for all of them to hear.
Nana BEAMED beside him, holding up HER ring hand too. "VERY MARRIED! TO ME! THE CUTE HAMSTER WIFE!"
*She announced herself as cute hamster wife. In public. To strangers. This is my life.*
The fangirls looked DEVASTATED.
One actually started CRYING.
Another one took a picture anyway (of him looking stoic and hot apparently).
* They're crying. Because I'm married. This is. I should feel bad. I don't feel bad. I'm TAKEN. Happily taken.*
"He's MINE!" Nana added, grabbing his arm possessively. "MY husband! We shower together and he makes me ice flowers and we—"
"NANA." He covered her mouth with his hand. "They don't need details."
* She was about to share intimate details with STRANGERS. Crisis averted. Barely.*
She mumbled against his hand, then licked his palm.
"Did you just—"
She GRINNED.
*She licked me. As a tactical maneuver. To free herself from hand-covering. This woman.*
"Bye FANGIRLS!" She waved. "He's TAKEN! Forever! Go find your OWN handsome doctor!"
* She's dismissing my fangirls. Like a queen dismissing subjects. The AUDACITY.*
She kissed his cheek one more time, then bounded toward her classes, turning back to wave enthusiastically.
The fangirls dispersed sadly, dreams crushed.
*Good. They should know. I'm not available. Never was. Never will be. There's only one woman for me.*
*And she just licked my palm in public.*
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🌻🌻🌻
Nana sat with Mina and Jisu, recounting the morning's events.
"—and then I made him show his ring! And I told them I'M the cute hamster wife!"
Mina was CACKLING. "You're so territorial! I love it!"
"But he wouldn't French kiss me in public!" Nana pouted. "Just a little peck!"
Jisu nodded sympathetically. "Mark won't do PDA either. He says it's 'inappropriate.'"
"Guan Lin kissed me in the MALL," Mina bragged. "To shut me up from screaming. But it COUNTS!"
* I want husband to kiss me in public. PROPERLY. Like in K-dramas. How do I make this happen?*
"How do I MAKE him kiss me in public?" Nana asked desperately.
Mina's eyes GLEAMED. "I have an idea."
"Is it a BOLD idea?" Jisu asked suspiciously.
"ALL my ideas are bold. Listen—" Mina leaned in conspiratorially, "—Zayne is too tall for you to kiss normally, right?"
"I need a ladder!" Nana agreed. "Or a tree! Or—"
"NO. You use TACTICS." Mina grinned. "Kick his leg. Gently. Just a tap."
"...Kick him?"
"Just a TAP! He'll bend down to see what happened. Then you JUMP into his arms and KISS HIM before he can react!"
* Kick leg. Jump. Kiss. This is GENIUS.*
Jisu looked concerned. "That seems... aggressive..."
"It's STRATEGIC!" Mina corrected. "She's small! She needs HEIGHT ADVANTAGES!"
"What if I hurt him?" Nana worried.
"He's a DOCTOR. He can handle a tiny kick from a 45-kilogram hamster."
*This makes sense. Science. Strategy. Romance.*
"I'LL DO IT!" Nana announced. "After class! At the hospital!"
Jisu covered her face. "This is going to go so wrong..."
"Or SO RIGHT!" Mina countered.
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🌻🌻🌻
Zayne walked down the corridor, reviewing patient files on his tablet, completely unsuspecting.
*Internal Zayne: Cardiac enzyme levels look good. Patient 447 is responding well to treatment. I should adjust the dosage—*
Something tapped his leg.
Not hard. Just a gentle TAP.
*Internal Zayne: What was—*
He looked down.
His wife stood there, grinning up at him.
*Internal Zayne: Nana. In the hospital. Again. Why is she—*
She KICKED his other leg. Slightly harder.
*Internal Zayne: She kicked me. She KICKED me. Why is she kicking—*
He sighed. "Nana, why are you—"
She didn't answer. Just POUTED.
*Internal Zayne: The pout. Again. What does she want now—*
He bent down slightly, concerned. "Are you okay? Did something—"
She JUMPED.
Literally JUMPED at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, legs around his waist, and KISSED HIM.
Full on the mouth.
In the HOSPITAL CORRIDOR.
Where EVERYONE could see.
*Internal Zayne: ...*
*Internal Zayne: She. She AMBUSHED me. With a KISS. In my WORKPLACE. This is. This is ASSAULT. Adorable assault. But assault.*
Around them, the corridor ERUPTED.
Nurses GASPED.
Someone WOLF-WHISTLED.
"GET IT, DR. LI!" Someone yelled.
A group of young female doctors in the corner looked DEVASTATED. One was actively CRYING.
*Internal Zayne: They're watching. Everyone is watching. My professional reputation is DYING in real-time. And I. I can't even be mad because she tastes like strawberries and happiness.*
He should pull away. Should maintain professionalism. Should—
He kissed her BACK.
One hand supporting her back, the other under her thighs, holding her against him while she kissed him enthusiastically.
*Internal Zayne: I've given up. Completely. Utterly. She wanted a public kiss? Fine. She gets a public kiss. Everyone can watch me be completely gone for my wife.*
When she finally pulled back, she was BEAMING.
"HA! PUBLIC KISS ACHIEVED!"
*Internal Zayne: She PLANNED this. The leg kicking. The jumping. This was PREMEDITATED.*
"Was this Mina's idea?" he asked flatly.
"...Maybe."
"Definitely Mina's idea."
"She said TACTICS!"
*Internal Zayne: Tactics. My wife's friend taught her military strategy for obtaining public displays of affection. This is my life.*
Around them, people were still STARING.
Dr. Greyson walked by, grinning. "Didn't know you had it in you, Dr. Li."
"I don't want to hear it."
"The ENTIRE hospital is going to hear about this."
*Internal Zayne: Yes. Yes they are. My cold, stoic reputation: DESTROYED. By tiny wife jumping attack.*
Nurse Martha was taking PICTURES. "For the newsletter!"
"Please don't—"
"TOO LATE! Already sent!"
*Internal Zayne: The newsletter. Again. First the squirrel. Now THIS. I'm going to be a LEGEND. The wrong kind of legend.*
One of the crying female doctors approached hesitantly. "Dr. Li... are you really... married?"
He showed his ring. Again. "Very married. To her."
Nana waved from his arms. "HELLO! I'm the wife! The CUTE HAMSTER WIFE!"
*Internal Zayne: She's introducing herself as cute hamster wife. To my colleagues. They're going to ask about the hamster thing. I know they will.*
"Why hamster?" the doctor asked, confused.
"Because I'm SMALL and CUTE and eat a lot!" Nana explained cheerfully.
*Internal Zayne: Accurate self-assessment. Also: why is she still in my arms?*
"Nana, I need to put you down—"
"NO! Carry me!"
"I have to work—"
"CARRY ME WHILE YOU WORK!"
*Internal Zayne: She wants me to carry her while seeing patients. This is. Not happening. Probably.*
Dr. Greyson was DYING laughing. "Dr. Li, you're WHIPPED."
"I'm aware."
"COMPLETELY whipped."
"I SAID I'm aware."
*Internal Zayne: Whipped. Devoted. Gone. All accurate medical diagnoses.*
He set her down gently, but she CLUNG to his arm.
"I achieved public kiss!" she announced proudly. "MISSION SUCCESS!"
*Internal Zayne: Mission success. She categorized ambushing me as a military operation. And WON.*
"Yes, hamster. You succeeded. Now I need to—"
"Can I stay? While you work?"
"Absolutely not—"
"PLEASE?" THE EYES. THE POUT.
*Internal Zayne: Not the eyes. Not. The. Eyes.*
"...One hour. That's it."
"YAY!" She kissed his cheek. "Best husband!"
*Internal Zayne: I'm weak. So weak. She deploys cute face and I FOLD. Every time.*
---
**4:47 PM - Zayne's Office**
Nana sat in the corner of his office, drawing on her tablet while he reviewed patient charts.
Every few minutes, she'd look up and BEAM at him.
*Internal Zayne: She's smiling at me. Like I hung the moon. Like I'm not just a tired surgeon trying to finish paperwork.*
"What are you drawing?" he asked.
"YOU!" She showed him the tablet.
It was a stick figure. With glasses. Holding a tiny stick figure.
"That's us!" she explained. "After I jumped at you!"
*Internal Zayne: Stick figures. Artistic skill: minimal. Sentiment: maximum.*
"It's very... accurate."
"I'm getting BETTER! See? I added DETAILS!" She pointed at the larger stick figure. "You have your GRUMPY FACE!"
"That's not a grumpy face. That's my regular face."
"SAME THING!"
*Internal Zayne: My regular face is apparently grumpy. This is news to me. Unsurprising news.*
There was a knock. Dr. Greyson entered, grinning.
"Dr. Li, the hospital group chat is EXPLODING."
*Internal Zayne: Oh no.*
"Multiple people got footage of the kiss. It's been shared forty-seven times."
*Internal Zayne: Forty-seven. FORTY-SEVEN.*
"Someone made a GIF."
*Internal Zayne: A GIF. I'm a GIF now. My public kissing is ANIMATED.*
"The female doctors are calling Nana 'The Tiny Terror Who Stole Dr. Li's Heart.'"
Nana PERKED UP. "TINY TERROR! I LIKE IT!"
*Internal Zayne: Of course she likes it. She's PROUD of her chaos.*
"Can I see the GIF?" she asked excitedly.
"NO—" Zayne started.
Dr. Greyson showed her his phone anyway.
She SQUEALED. "I look so CUTE jumping at you! And you look SURPRISED! This is PERFECT!"
*Internal Zayne: She's admiring footage of her own tactical assault. This woman.*
"I'm sending this to Mina and Jisu!" She pulled out her phone.
*Internal Zayne: Great. Wonderful. The chaos agents will see proof of their successful strategic planning. This will only encourage MORE tactics.*
His phone buzzed.
**Family Group Chat:**
**Sylus:** ZAYNE. WHAT IS THIS GIF.
**Xavier:** You got JUMPED in the hospital?!
**Caleb:** BY YOUR TINY WIFE?!
**Rafayel:** THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN
**Guan Lin:** She KICKED your LEG first 😂
**Mark:** Strategic. Impressive.
*Internal Zayne: The ENTIRE family has seen it. Of course they have. Nothing is private. Nothing.*
**Zayne:** It was an ambush. I was unprepared.
**Sylus:** You KISSED HER BACK. For like 15 seconds. That's not unprepared. That's ENGAGED.
**Xavier:** 15 seconds is a LONG public kiss.
**Caleb:** He's GONE for her. Completely.
**Rafayel:** I'm crying. This is BEAUTIFUL.
*Internal Zayne: They're analyzing the kiss DURATION. My family is timing my public displays of affection. This is humiliating.*
Nana leaned over to read the chat, then typed:
**Nana:** He kissed me because he LOVES ME! I'm the CUTE HAMSTER WIFE! 🐹💕
**Everyone:** WE KNOW! WE LOVE YOU TOO, NANA!
**Sylus:** You trained her well, Zayne. Tactical ambush. Impressive.
**Zayne:** I didn't train her. This was MINA'S idea.
**Everyone:** MINA! 🤣
*Internal Zayne: Blaming Mina. The appropriate response. She's corrupting my wife with TACTICS.*
He looked at Nana, who was grinning at her phone, texting her friends about her "victory."
*Internal Zayne: She's so PROUD. So happy. She just wanted a public kiss. And I gave her one. In front of my entire hospital staff. Because I'm weak.*
*But she's smiling. And that makes it worth it.*
"Zayne?" She looked up.
"Mm?"
"Thank you for kissing me. Even though I kicked you."
*Internal Zayne: She's thanking me. For letting her ambush me. The AUDACITY.*
He pulled her into his lap, kissing her forehead. "You're welcome, tiny terror."
She GIGGLED. "I like that name!"
"Of course you do."
*Internal Zayne: Sigh #879. But smiling. (#36.)*
*My wife. The tiny terror. The leg-kicking, hospital-invading, public-kissing chaos gremlin.*
*And I love her more than anything.*
---
**Meanwhile - Hospital Group Chat**
**Nurse Martha:** The GIF has been viewed 347 times.
**Dr. Greyson:** Make that 348. I just watched it again.
**Nurse Chen:** He SMILED while kissing her. DR. LI SMILED.
**Dr. Yuki:** PROOF that he has emotions!
**Nurse Martha:** Should we print this for the break room wall?
**Dr. Greyson:** ABSOLUTELY.
**Dr. Yuki:** Motion passed. Operation: Immortalize The Kiss begins now.
---
**Meanwhile - Mr. Fluffytail's Tree**
Mr. Fluffytail received the news via sparrow gossip network.
*"The tiny human JUMPED at the tall human. In the healing building. And KISSED HIM."*
Mrs. Fluffytail chittered approvingly. *"Bold strategy."*
*"EFFECTIVE strategy,"* Mr. Fluffytail corrected. *"He kissed her back."*
*"As he should. She's his mate."*
*"Humans are WILD."*
*"But entertaining."*
Fair point.
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🌻🌻🌻
To be continued.