Levy said, with a trace of genuine unease, "That schedule sounds absolutely terrifying."
Lucy nodded. "Exactly. Lucky we didn't sign up."
Mirajane smiled. "Are you sure about that?"
Both of them answered on instinct. "Of course, that training volume is completely"
Mirajane cut in gently. "But so many people signed up because of you two. If you of all people don't participate"
She rested one finger against her chin, as though carefully picturing the social consequences awaiting Levy and Lucy.
The two of them went pale.
After a long pause, Levy worked out the central problem and said with quiet resignation, "Lucy. We should just go."
"Why?"
"Rhodes specifically called us back yesterday. That means we were already on the list."
Lucy stood with her mouth open for a moment, processing. Then she let out a long, deflated, "Aye."
Mirajane watched them shuffle off with a warm smile, then immediately turned her attention to the next group of targets.
Across the guild, Macao and Wakaba were watching the whole affair unfold with the relaxed authority of men who considered themselves entirely uninvolved.
Macao shook his head. "Young people these days. No ability to endure hardship whatsoever."
Wakaba nodded sagely. "Honestly, if I were their age, I'd sign up without a second thought."
Mirajane had already slipped quietly into the seat across from them. She fanned a hand in front of her face as Wakaba's cigarette smoke drifted her way.
"Oh, Mira, sorry." Wakaba stubbed it out immediately.
In truth, ever since Mirajane's pregnancy had become known, both Rhodes and Elfman had banned Wakaba from coming within ten meters of her with a lit cigarette.
Putting it out earned him slightly more lenient terms, namely the privilege of approaching the bar counter to take on missions. Sitting across from her like this actually felt a little nostalgic.
"Are you feeling alright? You should be resting more."
For a moment, Wakaba had managed to sound almost touching.
"I'm fine. Being at the guild is more reassuring than sitting at home alone." Mirajane smiled. "Aren't you two joining the training camp?"
Macao sighed. "If we were younger, maybe. But we're getting on in years. That kind of intensity is beyond us now."
Both of them were forty-three, and their faces showed every year of it, so the sentiment landed without any awkwardness.
Mirajane offered a consoling smile. "That's alright. Even if you can't go, there's still Romeo. He signed up very boldly, just as you'd expect from your son."
"Hahaha, naturally, my son would" Macao stopped. "Wait. Romeo signed up?!"
"See for yourself."
Macao turned his head mechanically. Across the guild, Natsu was patting Romeo on the head and appeared to be saying something encouraging.
Mirajane pressed on while the moment was ripe. "He admires Natsu so much. Rhodes will probably arrange for him to train alongside Natsu. Romeo must be thrilled, don't you think?"
Macao's vision went dark.
Train with Natsu. That would kill him. Romeo was thirteen years old. He did not have Natsu's constitution.
The glass hit the table with a bang. Macao crossed the guild floor in about three strides, grabbed Rhodes by the shoulders and shook him. "I don't agree. Romeo cannot participate. Cancel his registration right now."
Freed placed a steady hand on Macao's shoulder. "Rules are absolute. Once you have signed, withdrawal is not permitted."
Rhodes looked at him with genuine puzzlement. "But Romeo seems really happy about it. Don't worry. Once the training camp begins, I'll have Natsu keep an eye on him."
"Leaving him to Natsu makes it worse!"
Rhodes spread his hands helplessly. "Then who else should I assign him to? Romeo is closest to Natsu. Unless, of course, his father also joins."
Macao's expression shifted. Something about that didn't sit right, though he couldn't immediately put his finger on what.
Rhodes added one more log to the fire. "I completely understand how you feel. When I become a father, I know I'll be exactly the same way. But in a situation like this, I think I'd want to be right there beside my child."
A flicker of something hot moved through Macao's chest. He had been a father for years. Was he really going to be shown up by a man who hadn't even had his child yet?
Macao snatched a registration form and scrawled his name across it. "Who said I'm not participating? I'm joining too!"
Rhodes accepted the form with quiet satisfaction. "As expected from a guild veteran. Good luck."
"Of cour—"
He stopped.
Wait.
The heat faded. Macao stood very still for a moment, and then the full picture assembled itself in his head. He had come over to get Romeo pulled from the list. Not to discuss childcare arrangements inside the training camp. Definitely not to sign himself up.
His teeth ground together. "Rhodes, you absolute"
"No need for that." Rhodes slung an arm around his shoulders and dropped his voice. "Since you're already registered and can't withdraw, why not do me a small favour and find a few more people in a similar position? Veterans, maybe. People who might be quietly worried about keeping up."
"Why would I do anything for you?"
"Because your stamina won't match the younger members, and you know it. And you can't have Romeo watching his old man finish last, can you?"
Macao took two slow steps backward. His pointing finger trembled slightly.
What a vicious scheme.
The Fairy Strategist's talent, apparently, was not reserved for outsiders. It was deployed with equal enthusiasm against his own people.
And it had hit him precisely where he had no defense.
He had no choice now but to drag someone down with him. There was really only one candidate for that.
Rhodes watched him cross the guild floor with a satisfied smile.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, a fist slammed the table and Wakaba's voice rang out across the hall. "Who are you calling too scared? Anything you can do, I can do better!"
From behind the bar, Mirajane flashed Rhodes a peace sign. Rhodes pressed both hands to his chest in a heart shape.
Then the two of them looked around for their next target.
Through their combined and tireless efforts, which is to say an extended campaign of misdirection and psychological warfare, every member of the guild who had returned so far signed up, willingly or otherwise, for reasons that varied considerably from person to person.
This included waitresses like Laki and Kinana. Panther Lily and Carla were not spared. Happy had walked straight into it alongside Natsu in the very first wave.
The training camp was not quite what most of them had pictured. Even so, a handful of the more impatient members were visibly eager, and at their insistence the whole thing kicked off that same evening.
At dusk, Alzack and Bisca pushed open the guild doors and stepped inside.
"It's so quiet today. We made it back early and everything"
"Where is everyone?"
The two exchanged a glance and moved deeper into the hall. Bisca raised her voice. "Master? Mira? Erza?"
"There's something going on behind the guild."
They crossed through the backyard and out the back gate.
What they found was the lake, and in it, dozens of bodies churning through the water at wildly different speeds, all of them headed for shore. On the bank, a row of chairs sat in the shade of a large parasol, where Makarov and Mirajane were seated. A little further forward, Rhodes stood with a megaphone raised to his mouth.
"Put your back into it! Faster! You call this swimming?"
"You want to call yourselves mages? The old lady selling ice cream at the front door moves faster than half of you!"
Alzack and Bisca looked at each other.
"What exactly is this? A swimming competition?"
...
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