I have this feeling that if I said something like, "Oh my, I didn't know Ais liked me so much!", she might just jump off the city wall!
Fortunately, Noah simply gazed at her and listened without making any actions or expressions that would embarrass Ais.
"My looks, cooking skills, and swordsmanship are indeed my three most confident strengths, but whether I'm gentle or not is another matter, at the very least, I don't think Valletta thinks I'm a good person."
She was certain she didn't know the person, but Ais felt the name sounded familiar, as if she had heard it somewhere before. "Valletta?"
"She is a member of Evilus. She was the one who fought me on the day I joined the Loki Familia."
Then, Noah recounted how he had easily tricked Valletta and given her a devastating blow. After hearing this, Ais couldn't help but laugh, letting out a slightly indistinct laugh. "That person is so stupid."
As the sky brightened, it illuminated the girl's delicate, doll-like face.
"Because she was easily deceived by Noah."
"What if I didn't lie to her? Or rather, I didn't lie to her entirely?"
From Ais's perspective, Noah, with his back to the sky, had half of his face shrouded in darkness. His eyes became deep making it impossible to discern the depths.
"I am a complex person, but in reality, I am closer to Evilus...we are all the kind of people who do whatever we want, act recklessly, and enjoy hearing others cry out in pain, despair, or when they are on the verge of death!"
Ais didn't think Noah would hurt her, but hearing his gentle yet easily penetrating voice, her heart couldn't help but beat faster.
"If I had to pinpoint the difference between me and Evilus, it would probably be that they enjoy torturing and killing the weak, while I find killing the weak utterly meaningless."
Looking into Noah's eyes, Ais also felt a suffocating sensation, as if she were being swallowed by boundless darkness.
"Indeed, it's still more pleasurable to drag those who are high above, domineering over all living beings, and self-righteous, down from their pedestals and watch them wail and cry out in pain as they are trampled upon!"
Noah's voice, though light, sent shivers down Ais's spine more than the cold wind, making her tremble uncontrollably like a baby in the dead of winter. Sensing Ais's fear, Noah reached out and patted her head. Feeling the warmth coming from above and the faint fragrance that even the strong wind couldn't completely dispel, Ais felt at peace.
There's no mistake. No matter what kind of person Noah was, the time spent with him, being saved by him, being attracted to him, and being with him was absolutely genuine!
Ais felt ashamed when she thought about her fear and apprehension just now. An impulse surged within her, and before Ais could even process it, her body reacted. She rushed into Noah's arms, wrapped her arms around his waist, and buried her face deeply in his stomach.
The sudden hug made Noah's eye twitch.
This girl, doesn't she know how to behave? If I had eaten breakfast, I might have vomited from that hug. However, considering that he had frightened the girl, Noah did not pursue the matter.
"Ais, I was once called a hero, a savior, someone who protected the weak, punished evil, and vanquished demons. But do you know what? After I fought with all my might to kill that enemy called the Demon King, I didn't feel as happy as I had imagined. Instead, I felt a little lost."
Ais lifted her head from Noah's arms, revealing a pair of large, round eyes looking at him. 'Why?' that was the expression in her eyes.
Patting Ais's head to comfort her, Noah couldn't help but recall the past. "Yes, I was wondering why back then too. It wasn't until my former comrades tried to kill me that I understood, although there was some sadness and pain, I felt mostly joy because I could finally fight again!"
Suddenly, a strong wind blew, and the silent forest in the distance was filled with the sound of pine trees rustling like ocean waves. Birds flew in flocks, heading towards the sky, and the howls of wild beasts could be heard. As the city's bells rang out, the morning glow broke through the heavy clouds, dyeing the sky a magnificent blood red.
"When I was a kid, I thought the Heroic Tales where the protagonist fought to save the princess, avenge his family, or save the world were very boring...because it's like seeing a mountain peak and wanting to climb and conquer it! Challenging the Demon King, slaying the dragon, and facing the gods are ideals that excite boys! Why do we need a reason?"
The wind was blowing. That was a deep blue, icy wind flowing from the sky, creating a loud bagpipe sound between the city walls. In the raging wind, the silver-haired boy stood beneath the sky, his face seemingly melted by the light of the morning glow, radiating an unusual brilliance.
"So, in the instant I regained my lost battle, I finally recalled the feelings I had when I left the village and set out into the world at dawn...not to save others, not to avenge my family, not to gain praise, but to challenge the Demon King, to challenge the strongest in the world!"
"Ais, there are two mistakes that people make most often in their lives. One is misjudging others and making unwarranted expectations of them. For example, many people called me a hero when I killed the Demon King and a demon when I killed nobles, but in fact I have never changed. I have always been doing the same thing. It's just that they made unwarranted expectations of me."
"However, what is more dangerous is misjudging oneself and striving in the wrong direction, because it is easy to see others clearly, but difficult to see oneself clearly. Just like, Ais, you only took more than half a month to vaguely sense my nature, but you still can't see yourself clearly."
Ais felt suffocated, yet a strong throbbing surged within her, burning hot enough to melt her entire body. Sensing that Noah was about to say something, she wanted to shout to stop him, but she couldn't utter a word, as if her whole body was bound. Ais realized that this suffocating feeling was the truth she knew in her heart but had always been unwilling to face.
"Encountering a powerful enemy, drawing swords, and fighting to the death, that's natural for me. But Ais, you and I are different...deep down, you don't want to wield a sword for destruction, killing, or hatred! That's the real you!"
At this moment, the adventurer shell that Ais had formed over the past year shattered, and she reverted to the real little girl within. Timid, cowardly, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of pain, afraid of death... This is the real Ais Wallenstein!
I have never really become stronger.
Realizing this, Ais's eyes welled up with tears. Even if Noah beat her to a pulp, Ais wouldn't feel like crying her heart out like she did now. Like a drowning person grasping at driftwood, she clenched her fists, bit her lip until it bled, and tried to open her eyes wide to hold back her tears.
"But! But..."
Faced with the girl's struggle, Noah delivered a calm yet fatal blow. "Ais, I can see that you want to seek revenge against some being and become stronger, but if one day you need to pay the price of my death, Riveria's death, Finn's death, and Gareth's death to complete your revenge, would you do it?"
An unavoidable blow pierced through the weakest wound in Ais's heart, tearing so violently that her mind went blank. If it meant sacrificing herself to perish with the Black Dragon, Ais believed she would never hesitate. But what if the price was losing Noah, losing Riveria, Finn, Loki, and Gareth?
A wave of grief overwhelmed her, and the flames of hatred burned through her body, prompting Ais to want to give a positive answer. But… no.
A power, stronger than that of her, born for slaughter, and one that Ais had never noticed before, surged from within, preventing her from giving an answer. The two forces intertwined, almost tearing Ais in two, causing her unbearable pain. Ais didn't understand why, but she just couldn't speak.
Ais realized she couldn't do it. She couldn't give up everything for revenge as she had imagined. The belief that had sustained her shattered. Ais felt as if she had been stripped of control over her body. Her entire body was numb, and she couldn't muster any strength. Only tears welled up, falling in a cascade, wetting her blonde hair.
"Ais, those who drift aimlessly don't need to struggle with this, but people like you and me will eventually face this choice...whether to pursue our ideals or stop for those around us. If we make the wrong choice, we will regret it for the rest of our lives."
Ais lifted her head from Noah's embrace, her red eyes blurred with tears, gazing at Noah like a newly hatched chick, yearning for his guidance. "Then, what should I do, I..."
Noah tenderly wiped away the girl's tears and gently patted her back. It was like comforting the self who stood through a mountain of corpses and a sea of blood, only to understand things when the crimson sun rose. Noah understood that what he was about to say was very important to Ais.
All living beings have desires; the only difference is whether they desire external things like wealth and power, or internal thoughts like love, hate, and faith. Some people may appear to be without desires, but they are simply concentrating them. Just like the fanatical believers in Evilus who are not afraid of death, they are simply transforming their desire for enjoyment in this life into a belief in happiness in the next.
Among these numerous desires, living for oneself is a rather mystical idea. A certain degree of self respect and self identity is the foundation of a person's personality. Therefore, for most people, living for themselves is natural. But there are some people who cannot live for themselves. It's like a child who never grows up and always needs their parents opinions to determine if they're doing the right thing. To feel their own existence in interactions with others and affirm their self worth, their need for recognition far exceeds that of ordinary people. For them, finding themselves is probably more terrible torture than hell...just like Ais was now.
Of course, Ais wasn't naturally like this. She was in this situation because Noah had shattered the beliefs that sustained her. For Ais, who had been deprived of all reason to fight, what she needed most was not encouragement, but clear guidance and reliance.
At this moment, Noah's control over the girl's fate was absolute. If it were Riveria and the others, they would probably say something calm like, 'Everyone's future is something they have to explore themselves. I can't give you the answer, but I will always protect you until you find it.' Because they were good people, they would never easily interfere with the fate of others.
"Ais, everyone's path is one they must find, decide, and walk themselves. No one else can interfere. If you need me, I will be with you until you find your own path!"
...
Everyone has their own desires, and Noah was no exception. Moreover, he was very clear about his desire: to fight. To be precise, it was about surpassing and conquering. However, the more people pursue something, the more they are bound by it. The same was true of Noah.
What is most dangerous for someone who aspires to surpass everything? For Noah, this was undoubtedly the moment when he reached the pinnacle, when there was no longer any target to surpass. Noah had already experienced this in the previous world after slaying the Demon King, and he didn't want to go through it again.
Although Noah possessed a system that, aside from allowing him to travel between worlds, had no known origin, he shouldn't need to worry about finding an opponent. However, it was good to take precautions. Since I'm worried about not finding an opponent in the future, why not start making one for myself now?
Noah hoped to find someone who could walk alongside him, or even surpass him, someone he could pursue. This opponent would not be an enemy, but someone who understood him better than any enemy.
By doing this, I'm probably no different from Evilus, right? However, I didn't design a scenario where she fell into despair.