'… Is she dead?'
I checked the time.
One hour and thirty minutes until school.
Forty-minute walk.
Fifty minutes remaining.
That was enough time to eat, brush your teeth and take a shit.
'… And she's using it to simulate a corpse.'
*Knock knock*
'Eri. Wake up.'
'…'
I enhanced my hearing.
Snoring. Not normal snoring, but dad-level snoring.
Sliding the door open, she was lying there, blanket twisted like it had lost a fight.
A bubble inflated…
Expanded…
Achieved structural integrity…
And then deflated.
'That bubble is doing more with its life than most people.'
I crouched.
'Eri.'
Poke.
Nothing.
'Alright.'
I stood up slowly.
[Emergency wake-up protocol: Priest Edition]
The following side effects include:
-Spiritual awakening.
-Nausea.
-Regret.
I grabbed her legs.
'Good morning.'
And spun.
Fast.
The room blurred.
'AAAAAAAAAAH!!!'
She screamed while being spun.
'SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!'
'Are… you… awake?'
'YES YES, I'M AWAKE!'
I stopped and dropped her down on the floor.
*Thud*
Her soul took a few seconds to catch up.
'I think I met God.'
'That's good to hear.'
'I… I need a bucket.'
'Please don't vomit on my floor. Heal.'
Her colour returned, but her sanity didn't.
'Y-you tried to kill me.'
'I just spun you around.'
She pointed at me, trembling.
'I thought I saw my ancestor.'
'If you don't want that to happen again, wake up earlier.'
'You're a demon.'
'No. You are. I'm a human.'
Her mouth hung open.
———————————
At breakfast, Eri stared at her food.
Then at me.
'You made this?'
'No, the pot and the chopsticks made it.'
She narrowed her eyes.
'If I die, I'm haunting you.'
She took a bite.
*Chew chew*
'…'
Her eyes widened. Stars sparkled in her eyes.
She inhaled the entire plate like a black hole.
In a matter of seconds, the plate was empty.
'You can cook. I'm impressed.' She patted her stomach.
'I'm making lunch for school, you want any?'
'Of course.'
She stood up with her empty plate.
'You can leave the plate in the sink, I'll wash it.'
Placing the plate down, she said. 'Of course. It's natural for the
servant to clean.'
I froze.
'Excuse me?'
She looked at me.
'Know your place.'
'…'
She turned around and left.
'Sigh. Please don't tell me she is a Saki 2.0, one is already enough.'
—————————————
[Somewhere in Tokyo]
'ACHOO!'
Saki rubbed her nose.
'Someone is speaking ill of me!'
'Saki, it's 7 AM,' Hina said.
'TIME IS IRRELEVANT TO JUSTICE!'
She drew her bokken.
'Reveal yourself you coward!'
'Saki.'
'Yes?'
'Too loud.'
'I'm not loud. The world is just too quiet.'
'Saki.'
'What?'
Hina moved her hands toward Saki's armpit and began tickling it.
'HAHAHAHA… TRAITOR…!'
'Will you behave?'
'HAHA, I'LL NEVER… HAHAHA…. OKAY I WILL!'
Hina stopped and Saki collapsed on the floor.
'You're evil.'
'And you're loud.'
———————————————-
[Dylan's pov]
Our once peaceful lunch was now rowdy due to the addition of Saki 2.0.
'Morita-san, what class are you in?' Kasumi asked.
Eri adjusted her glasses and light reflected off them,
'Heh… I'm an all-rounder, but if I must choose one, then I would say a mage.'
'No, your classroom.'
'Ah…'
She stood up with a grin.
'I forgot.'
The wind blew.
'By day, I blend among mortals and by night I am the Dark Lord who will conquer this world.'
*Clap clap clap*
Kasumi applauded.
'Yes. Applaud more, my servant.'
I opened the system store.
Scrolled to the glasses.
No side effects listed.
'What did I buy?'
'Now my servant.'
Eri pointed to her mouth.
'Feed me.'
'Okay,' Kasumi nodded.
Eri sat back down. Opened her mouth and was fed like a baby by her mother.
*Chew chew*
'You're skilled my servant.'
'Th-thank you?'
'Become my maid. It is a great honour to serve this lord.'
'Don't encourage her.' I said.
Eri stood abruptly.
'It seems discipline is required.'
She raised her head.
'Witness—'
*Chop*
'OW—!'
She clutched her head.
Tears instantly formed.
'You… you monster.'
Kasumi rushed over and hugged her.
'That was mean, Di-ran.'
'She is—'
Kasumi gave me a death stare.
'Fine.'
I sighed.
'I'm sorry.'
Eri immediately perked up.
'Heh. As a merciful Dark Lord, I forgive you.'
I raised my hand again.
Kasumi stared harder.
I lowered it.
'Well done my servant.' Eri patted Kasumi's back. 'From now on, you will be my knight.'
'Umm.. okay…?'
'Your first order: continue feeding me.'
And that's how lunch became childcare.
———————————-
'Bye, Di-ran! Bye, Eri!' Kasumi waved.
'Farewell, my knight.' Eri replied.
After school, both Eri and I walked home together.
'Hey, Eri.'
'It's Dark Lord to you.'
'How long is this phase?'
'Phase?' She ran her fingers through her hair. 'I was always like this. I simply concealed my greatness.'
'Sigh.'
We finally reached our house.
And there Saki was.
Standing there.
Menacingly.
'Sup, bastard—'
She saw Eri and pointed at her.
'Who's that?'
'A friend.'
'Tch. Of course, you go after more.'
She held out her hand.
'I'm Nanase Saki.'
Eri took it.
'I go by many names… but soon, the world will know me as the Dark Lord. Muhahaha!'
Saki froze.
'T-the Dark Lord?!'
She jumped back and drew her bokken.
'Ohh… so you know my name.' Eri smiled.
'I am the warrior of justice!' Saki declared. 'I will defeat you and cleanse this world of your wickiness!'
'How amusing,' Eri raised her hand. 'Witness my power.'
Wind blew.
'…'
Nothing happened.
Then…
'GAAH!'
Saki dropped to her knees, clutching her chest.
'Wh-what did you… do to me?!'
'You feel it, don't you?' Eri grinned. 'My power…'
'I WON'T FALL!' Saki roared.
Slowly getting up, she used her bokken to assist her.
'I will protect all that I love.'
'I… AM… POWER!'
*Boom*
Somewhere, I heard the sound of thunder, yet there was no cloud in the sky.
Eri staggered back.
'I-impossible! You resisted?!'
'Heh…' Saki wiped imaginary blood. 'Now witness my TRUE FORM!'
She posed dramatically.
'SWORDFISH KNIGHT!'
…
She stood there, wind blowing in the background.
Waiting.
Then…
She quickly pulled out her phone.
*Ring Ring*
'Hey, Hina. Could you bring me my swordfish hat?'
[…]
'She hung up.' Saki looked at her phone.
I had no clue what Saki was thinking.
Did she really expect us to wait for Hina to deliver her hat while staying in that pose?
Unless Hina was a magician who could teleport, it would take a while for her to—
'Saki. Here is your hat.'
Hina appeared holding the hat.
'How?' I muttered.
'Thanks, Hina. You're the best.' Saki hugged her before grabbing the hat.
Placing it over her head with the swordfish bill pointing forward.
'Behold!'
She pointed at Eri.
'THE SWORDFISH KNIGHT!'
Eri gasped.
'No… not the Swordfish Knight.'
She backed away.
'P-perhaps we can negotiate.'
'No.'
'Please?'
'Purge all evil!'
And just like that, they started running in circles around the street like broken NPCs.
'Hey, Hina?'
'Yes, Di-ran san?'
'How did you get here so quickly?'
'Instinct. I've known Saki for a long time, to the point where I could guess what she is going to do.'
'Must be exhausting.'
'Yes.' She smiled.
'Come back here, Dark Lord!' Saki yelled.
'SOMEONE SAVE ME!' Eri screamed.
Hina giggled.
'But, although Saki can be a bit too much sometimes… she'll always be there for you.'
I watched them.
Then sighed.
'I think she needs to grow up.'
Hina nudged me.
'Loosen up, old man. We're just kids. We should have some fun.'
'I'm not a kid.'
'Right. You're a reincarnated adult, correct?'
I froze.
'How did you know?'
'It's what's popular these days in manga.' She said casually. 'A lot of boys in my school like to pretend they are from a fantasy world.'
'…'
She then looked at me.
'You're not so different from Saki, you know.'
I watched them again.
Running.
Screaming.
'So you're telling me, I am like her?'
Hina nodded.
'Yes, in your own way. Saki thinks she is a champion of justice and you like to pretend to be an adult.'
I looked back at Saki.
She reminded me of how I used to be.
Back when 'reality' was just a word.
'I just want her to wake up to reality.'
'There are times when I would like Saki to grow up.' Hina watched Saki as she ran around. 'But… this is who Saki is and I like her for that.'
'Sigh. Maybe I do need to loosen up.'
'Finally caught you!'
'PLEASE, I GIVE UP!'
Saki was poking Eri with her hat while Eri tried to crawl away.
'Haha.' I laughed.
'Oh,' Hina smiled at me. 'Didn't know you could laugh, old man.'
I slowly touched my mouth.
'Neither did I.'
When was the last time I laughed like that?