SASHA ROSARIO'S POINT OF VIEW
My heart hammers so hard I swear it will burst through my skin. I'm rooted to the spot like a stone pillar, every muscle locked in place. Are you kidding me? What on earth is happening to me right now?
Because there, right in front of me, stands Angelo. He is completely bare from the waist up.
He perches on the mat, back leaned against the wall, a slow smile playing at his lips. The look in his eyes is an open invitation to come sit in his lap.
"J-Just hold on a second." I spin away and hurry toward the door, pressing my palms flat against the wood even though it is already shut tight.
Heaven above, please guide me now. I know I have made my share of mistakes but please! This cannot be the end of me, right?
I press my thumbnail to my teeth until it aches—an old nervous habit I kicked the moment Angelo arrived. I was afraid he would find it unappealing.
"What are you waiting for, wife? I am getting cold in here. Warm me up."
Heat floods my face until my forehead feels like it is on fire. I still cannot believe this is actually happening.
Honestly! Who would not be stunned when presented with a man as warm and solid as fresh bread right out of the oven?
I drop my gaze, cheeks burning with shame.
Lord! Do I really go through with this? I feel like such a terrible person. Why did I have to lie and tell him I was his wife?
I let out a long sigh before turning to walk back toward him.
Maybe it is better to tell him the truth now, before my conscience eats me alive.
Yes! Hehe, I swear to God!
I swear to God…
I swear to God. Good heavens! What kind of mess have we gotten ourselves into?
I swallow hard as my eyes trace the lines of his body. My face must be bright red again. Why do I blush so easily when I am flustered or embarrassed? It is impossible to hide anything, though at least Angelo seems to believe every word I say.
"A-Are you really serious about doing this now?" I ask carefully, slowly turning to face him fully. My eyes widen at the sight. He looks positively sinful in that position.
I swallow again, my mouth suddenly so dry I fear I will drool if I do not stop thinking about how good he looks.
He shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest as one eyebrow arches high. His gaze pins me in place.
I feel a jolt of nerves shoot through me. His gray eyes are cold as winter sky, pulling me in like a current toward some place I cannot begin to map. "Ty moya sudba," he murmurs under his breath. You are my fate.
"Yeah… don't you want to?" His voice is steady and serious, and I find myself swallowing for what must be the tenth time.
I scratch at my cheek, feeling warmth spread even further.
Should I tell him the truth? That I am not really his wife?
He is bound to find out I lied about us being intimate last month. It is the very thing he is asking to repeat today.
Because the truth is—I am still a virgin. I have no idea what I am doing! And Andeng once told me there would be blood…
I stare down at my feet, wiggling my toes inside my slippers as I twist them together.
I really should just come clean now. I am terrified he will strangle me mid-act if he finds out.
"Well?"
Pressure builds in my chest. I have no idea how to start this conversation. Maybe I should make up an excuse first. Hehe.
"W-Wait! Your wound could split open. We really should not do this right now." I cannot meet his eyes. The shame is too much!
I do not hear his reply, but I do hear the rustle of fabric as he stands. I keep my gaze fixed on the floor, unable to look up.
Lord… Lord! Help me! Is this the day I die? Am I about to be judged for all my lies?
Moments later, I feel his presence right in front of me. Even after a full day without washing, his scent alone is enough to make my knees weak. Hehe. It is intoxicating.
Why does he smell so different from other men? So clean and warm, nothing like those boys loitering in the next barangay. They always reek of sour sweat and cigarettes.
"See? I can stand up by myself." He leans close, his mouth brushing the shell of my ear. "And I can definitely take you."
I freeze solid as his cool breath ghosts over my neck.
I have no idea what he means by "take you," so I just stand there, feeling every inch of his exhale against my skin.
"Okay okay!" I say a little too brightly, scratching behind my ear. "Why don't you let me take you first?"
What does "take you" even mean anyway? Maybe he wants me to nurse his wound?
I shake my head. This conversation is making me feel so stupid.
"Pfft." I frown, my eyes flying wide as I look at him. I step back to see his face properly.
His eyes are half-closed as he laughs, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. The sound is quiet but clear. It is probably the longest, loudest laugh he has let out since he showed up here.
I sigh heavily. This man is insane, isn't he? What could possibly be so funny about what I said?
Maybe I should kick him in the balls until they break so he cannot have kids!
But nooooo! Ehem… hehe, what if he actually becomes my husband someday? Then we would be in trouble if we could not have children.
I slap my palm against my forehead, frustrated with my wandering thoughts. I clench my fist.
"No! This is all wrong." I clamp my hand over my mouth, shocked to realize I had shouted the words out loud instead of just thinking them.
My eyes nearly bulge out of my head as I stare at Angelo.
The furrow is gone from his brow now, his whole face relaxed as he watches me. He is still bare-chested, still impossibly handsome.
I bite down hard on my lower lip as my eyes drift over his abs and biceps again. But an invisible hand seems to snap me back to my senses, and I finally say what I have been rehearsing in my head.
"I-I'm not really your wife." The confession tumbles out as I meet his heavy gaze head-on.
The tension leaves his face entirely, replaced by an expression I cannot quite read.
"Hmm… interesting." His voice is calm as still water.
I bow deeply, my hands pressed together in apology. "I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" I say shyly before meeting his eyes again.
I want nothing more than to disappear into the floorboards. What if he punches me? Then I really will be done for.
Oh Lord, even though I have messed up like this, I do not want to die yet. I still have dreams to chase. One of them is right here in front of me.
The man standing before me is exactly my type, fitting every detail I have ever imagined in a partner. Even with no memory, I know he is wealthy. Oi! It is not about the money, okay? You people always think that.
"Then… why did you lie to me?"
My nerves spike as I prepare my answer. What if he hates what I have to say and strangles me? His biceps are huge enough to do it. Though if he is going to be the one to end me, I would be lying if I said I did not find that a little thrilling.
But my mouth has always had a mind of its own. Before I can stop myself, the words spill out.
"B-Because you're so handsome."
Oh no! I have done it now. You are such an idiot, Sasha!
I spin away in mortification, walking back to the door and banging my forehead against it. A punishment for my foolish brain and even more foolish mouth.
Then, as if nothing happened, I turn and walk back to face him.
I pout when I see he is trying to hold back laughter. "W-What are you laughing at?!"
Earth! Please just swallow me whole already.
"You're attracted to me then?"
I look away quickly. "A-Are you crazy?! What are you even saying?"
I have no intention of looking at him again. Then his hand wraps around my waist, pulling my body flush against his.
"L-Let go of me!" I demand, hitting his chest weakly like some kind of fool.
"Hmm? You like this, don't you?"
"E-Eww no. Ehem!" I tilt my chin up, glaring at him. "Stop making fun of me!"
I am about to push him away with real force when he catches my hand, lifting it to his chest before pulling me even closer and kissing me.
My eyes fly wide as his lips press against mine.
M-My first kiss!
"Uhmm!" He bites down gently on my lower lip, and when my mouth falls open in surprise, his tongue slides inside.
Tears prick at my eyes and I close them tight. I can feel every movement of his lips against mine. I have no idea how to kiss back. I can barely breathe. I try to pull away, but his hand cups the back of my head, holding me firmly in place.
The kiss deepens until I cannot think at all. My head feels light as air while heat coils low in my belly.
I am burning up as we kiss. He is taller than me, so I have to crane my neck up to reach him. My legs go weak beneath me, and I let myself lean fully against his solid frame.
"Hmmph!" Soft sounds escape me each time he nips at my lip. It stings a little, but the sensation sends shivers all over my body.
The kiss goes on for what feels like forever, and when we finally pull apart I am gasping for air. My legs threaten to give out entirely, but his arms are wrapped around me, keeping me steady.
We stare at each other, both breathing hard. A slow smile spreads across his face.
"Wife… or not… we're still going to do this." He leans close again, and I jump as he nips at the top of my ear.
"You can feel it right? You know how badly I want you… Sasha."
Goosebumps rise across my skin at his words. And it is true—I can feel it.
I can feel the hard length of him pressed against my stomach.
I bite my lip as fire races through my veins.
Prophets, angels in heaven, Lord Jesus and God—I am so sorry… but I am absolutely done for now.