Hey guys sorry this was a little shorter but it didn't feel right adding more just for the sake of hitting my normal word count.
Hope yall enjoy.
Chapter 61: Healing and Questions
Cid stared at the sole remaining member of his family. He knew this was a dream, he knew none of this was real. But it still hurt him, it hurt so much reliving all of this again and again every time he went to sleep.
So he just watched as Claire was the last one to fade again, but she was still smiling like always.
The house had already come apart around her. The walls, gone into fragments of light. The floor dropped out from under the others. Yui, Arc, Flare, gone in pieces, as the dream ripped itself apart.
Claire didn't move. She stood in the last solid patch of grass, looking up at him with that same bright expression, like none of it was ending.
"Bye bye, L..... ...."
That was different. He hadn't been able to hear what she was saying last time. The rest of it was still inaudible. Her voice warped halfway through, muffling, stretching, like his brain couldn't process them.
Cid reached for her. Then the whole dream fully collapsed.
He jerked awake with a sharp gasp, already sitting up far too fast for a body that was as broken as his. His hand came up and dragged over his face, pressing hard against his eye.
Yui was instantly by his side. She sat on the edge of the bed and pulled him in, careful of the injuries, one arm around his back and her cheek against his hair. Cid let her comfort him, even though he didn't shake like he had the first time. He just sat there breathing rapidly, already trying to push the feelings away by rationalizing it and trying to strip away the emotions connected to it.
Yui could tell that he was too. Her mouth pulled into a small frown. 'If I let him do this now, he would be closed off completely and he won't get better, he'll just suffer in silence.' she thought ' I won't let him do that, it'll just keep hurting him until it is an issue or becomes an emotional scar.'
She stayed there a second longer, then spoke softly.
"Cid. What did you see?"
He didn't answer at first. His hand had dropped from his face to the sheet, fingers tight in the fabric.
"It… was just a bad dream, that's all." he said.
"I know, it was a bad dream." Yui didn't move off him. "That's not what I asked."
His jaw clenched and he turned his face slightly away, not enough to leave her hold. Just enough to try not to look her in the eye.
Yui kept her voice low and ran her hand slowly through his hair. "I'm not asking because I want to pry it out of you. I'm asking because I can't help you if I don't know what exactly is hurting you, please Cid, let me help you with this. If only just this once."
Cid's mouth opened then closed. It would have been easy. Say nothing. Let her hold him. Wait until all these feelings passed and shut them out completely.
Then that last image of Claire's smile flickered through his mind again. If he couldn't tell Yui, then who could he? there wasn't anyone else he trusted as much as her.
Cid let out a slow breath against her shoulder.
"…Alright, fine."
Cid started talking slowly at first, he couldn't look at her to start with. His voice stayed low, uneven, cracked in places, like he was forcing the words out piece by piece. Yui listened without interrupting.
When he was done, Yui's hand was over her mouth in shock, she felt so bad for him that it hurt. That was all she could feel for a second, what they'd put him in, the fact that he hadn't just woken up from it. He'd torn it apart himself, that was cruel.
Then a small part of her slowly felt warmer, not at what he had to do, but at what his dream was about. She felt sick because of it, but it settled there anyway, right next to the pain.
'His ideal life is us…. As a family.' She looked down in guilt that that actually made her happy in this situation.
"…I shouldn't feel this," she said. "I know I shouldn't. You had to destroy all of that to get out, and….." Her voice caught as tears pooled in her eyes. "Part of me is happy, so happy, because it was me and you living like that. Because your ideal life is something I want as well."
She wiped at her eyes waiting for him to pull away, to tense, to be upset with her for saying that or feeling that way.
After a few seconds he didn't do any of that, he just sat there.
When she looked up, she saw his face was still in shock. Then it changed, slowly, into a soft smile. He reached out and pulled her in with his remaining arm, tucking her against him under his chin.
Yui went stiff for a second then melted into it, wrapping her arms around him.
"Why aren't you mad?" she mumbled into his chest, confused. "I just told you that, I was happy in a situation like this."
Cid made a quiet sound against her hair.
"Why would I be?" He let out a small huff. "You just said you wanted that life too, that makes me happy."
Yui's hands tightened in his shirt.
"Yeah," he said. "It hurts. It hurts more than a lot of what's happened to me in my life." His voice stayed even, but there was still a shake under it. "But it showed me some good things too. It showed me what I want."
He leaned back and kissed her forehead lightly.
"So I'll make it happen. With my own two hands."
He stopped, then looked at the empty sleeve where his arm had been.
"…Hand. I mean my own hand." he said with a laugh. Yui let out a small one of her own, but could hear the hurt in his voice.
As their laughter faded into a more quiet moment Cid got lost in thought.
'I want to look into the dream more, something is bothering me about it. But I know I'm too emotionally involved to think straight.'
His remaining hand flexed once against Yui's back, then went still.
"…Can you help me with something?"
Yui leaned into his chest and looked up at him, arms still wrapped around him.
"Cid, you could ask me to do pretty much anything and I'd probably do it." She squinted at him and added quickly. "Except share you. You're mine. You weren't about to ask that…. were you?"
He sighed and pinched her nose lightly.
"I love you. You're more than enough for me." Then added quieter. "Maybe too much."
Yui's hand came up to smack his arm, then stopped halfway.
"You're lucky you're hurt."
Cid let go of her nose. For a second he didn't say anything.
"Would you help me go over what happened in the dream? Something about it is bothering me," He glanced away, then made himself keep talking. "And All For One also said something that has been nagging at me as well. I'm too close to all of this, I can't think about it properly." His mouth pulled to the side, embarrassed. "You're the only person I'm willing to… you know."
Yui's playfulness dropped all at once. She hugged him tighter.
"Yes," she said. "Cid, I'd love nothing more than to help you."