Zhan refused to leave the department after their test ended. He remained there, tense and uneasy. Fear filled him completely. He kept feeling as though Yibo might appear in front of him at any moment.
At about 11:15 a.m., Yunxi's phone...still in Zhan's pocket...began to vibrate. Zhan took it out and looked at the screen. Two heart emojis appeared before the caller's name.
He hesitated, unsure whether it was Yunxi or someone. The call almost ended before he finally answered and placed the phone to his ear, remaining silent.
A woman's voice spoke from the other side.
"Hello, baby…"
Immediately, Zhan ended the call.
The phone rang again, but this time he did not answer. Eventually, the call stopped.
:
:
Zhan was sitting with one of his course mates...a Moroccan student pursuing a second degree who currently lived in Malaysia. The young man was chatting enthusiastically, while Zhan simply listened and smiled politely.
Just then, the phone vibrated again.
Zhan glanced at the number and answered. When he raised it to his ear, he heard Yunxi's voice.
"Are you done?"
"Mm," Zhan replied softly.
"Alright. I'm waiting… near the car."
Then Yunxi ended the call.
Zhan stood up and looked at his course mate.
"The person picking me up, was at the parking lot"
The young man stood up as well.
"Let me walk you there."
Zhan hesitated for a moment before saying, "Alright."
He walked ahead while the young man followed him. When they approached the car, Yunxi had already noticed them from a distance. He had been watching them quietly. As they reached the car, Yunxi looked away.
Othman greeted him.
"Peace be upon you."
Yunxi turned back. For a moment it seemed as if he would not respond, but then he opened the car door and shook Othman's hand.
Zhan leaned against the side of the car and looked at Othman.
"Thank you. See you tomorrow."
"Alright. Take care," Othman replied.
After exchanging a brief farewell with Yunxi, Othman left.
Yunxi started the car and drove away.
Neither of them spoke as they joined the road.
The phone in Zhan's hand vibrated again.
He looked at the screen and recognized the same number from earlier. He handed the phone to Yunxi.
Yunxi glanced at the screen before pulling the car over to the side of the road. He waited until the call ended before calling back.
"How are you?" he said.
Zhan stole a glance at him before looking away toward the window.
After a few seconds, Yunxi said,
"Seriously… alright, I'm sorry about that. The phone wasn't with me earlier."
He smiled faintly and ran a hand through his soft dark hair.
"I left the phone with a friend. I suppose he didn't realize it was you, otherwise he wouldn't have answered. I'll call you back in about ten minutes. I'm on the road right now."
He ended the call.
Then he turned slightly toward Zhan.
"Why did you answer her call?"
He spoke slowly, almost as if carefully choosing each word.
Zhan did not look at him, nor did he answer.
Seeing this, Yunxi continued driving.
When they were nearly home, he asked another question.
"Who was that guy?"
Zhan turned to him calmly.
"And why are you asking?"
Yunxi pressed his lips together but said nothing.
After parking the car, Zhan spoke irritably.
"If you knew she was going to call, you should have taken your phone back."
He turned to open the car door, but Yunxi locked it.
Zhan turned back to him.
Yunxi said firmly,
"Be careful with those guys at school. And you even let him walk you to where I was waiting. What exactly is my connection to him?"
Zhan stared at him in disbelief.
Anger flashed across his face.
"What does it matter to you if I walk with someone from school? I think it's none of your concern. Now let me out of here immediately. Open the door."
While Zhan was speaking, Yunxi had reclined his seat and closed his eyes, listening.
When Zhan finally fell silent, Yunxi straightened his seat and looked at him.
"Are you finished?"
Zhan glared at him, furious.
Yunxi unlocked the door.
"Alright then. You may leave. Please close the door behind you."
Zhan stepped out angrily and walked straight toward his apartment, leaving the car door open behind him.
⏭ ⏭
Later that night, Zhan spoke on the phone with Roulan and the others. Their conversation helped him forget the worries that had been weighing on him.
When it was time for them to sleep, he said goodbye and prepared for bed.
Sleep came quickly.
When he woke up the next morning, he began worrying about how he would get to school. Tests were scheduled for the day.
The thought alone made him shed tears.
"Do I really have to meet him again in my life?" he whispered to himself.
Realizing that time was passing, he slowly got up, picked up his bag and stepped into the living room.
He glanced once at Yunxi's car in the parking space, frowned, and looked away before locking his apartment door.
He walked slowly to the street and took a taxi.
When they arrived at the school, he paid the fare and stepped out, looking around cautiously.
He walked quickly toward the campus since the taxi had stopped outside the school gate.
Suddenly, a car stopped beside him.
Before he could react, someone pulled him inside the car.
Zhan screamed in shock....
but the car had already driven away.
****
Zhan slowly opened his eyes, scanning the living room around him. Confusion filled his mind. He quickly sat up, his heart pounding as he silently prayed for protection.
It was as if something urged him to turn around.
When he did, he saw someone standing there, watching him.
His heart slammed violently against his chest. He quickly looked away.
The man stepped further into the living room and spoke softly.
"Meilin."
Zhan didn't even realize when he collapsed onto the floor. A wave of overwhelming grief burst from him as he broke into painful sobs.
Yibo knelt in front of him slowly.
"Meilin… I…"
Zhan tried to stand, but Yibo grabbed his arm. Zhan forcefully pulled away. Yibo remained still, staring at him without blinking.
Zhan turned his face away and cried harder, curling into himself with his head against his knees.
Yibo stood up, lifted him gently, and carried him toward another door.
Panic surged through Zhan.
"Let me go!" he shouted, pushing against him.
But their strength was not equal. Yibo managed to take him into the room and shut the door behind them.
Zhan's voice trembled as he spoke.
"Why did you come back into my life, Yibo? I'm no longer under you or your family. Please… I'm begging you… just leave me alone."
Yibo pressed Zhan against the wall and stared at him intensely.
"Do you know how many years I spent searching for you?" he said sharply.
Zhan grabbed his shirt angrily.
"You were searching for me? For what, Yibo? What do you want from me now? If you have any mercy left, please just let me go."
A faint smile appeared on Yibo's lips.
"Let you go? Just like that? You expect me to simply let you walk away?"
Zhan pushed him with all his strength, but Yibo barely moved.
Zhan burst into another wave of painful sobbing. His chest ached with grief and bitterness.
Through his tears, he pleaded.
"Yibo… if not for me… at least have mercy for heaven sake and leave me alone."
Yibo looked at him quietly.
"Forgive me, Meilin."
Zhan suddenly stopped crying.
A bitter smile spread across his face.
"Forgive you? Yibo… did you ever do anything wrong to me that I should forgive? I don't remember anything like that. And if there is something… then our judgment will be in the afterlife."
Yibo's eyes darkened.
"In the afterlife?"
Zhan couldn't answer. The expression on Yibo's face had suddenly changed.
Without warning, Yibo threw him onto the bed and walked closer, staring at him intensely.
"What judgment are you talking about that must wait until the afterlife?" he demanded. "Tell me...what did I do to you?"
Zhan kept backing away across the bed, his vision beginning to blur.
Softly, he whispered Yibo's name while shaking his head.
After that moment, he remembered nothing.
When he slowly opened his eyes again, he realized he was lying alone on the bed.
His chest ached painfully.
With difficulty, he forced himself to sit up, holding his chest as he struggled to breathe.
He climbed down from the bed and walked toward the door.
It was locked.
The moment he realized it, he slid down to the floor and clutched his chest while silently praying.
Suddenly, he heard the sound of the door unlocking.
He quickly stood and moved behind it.
The door opened.
Yibo stepped inside the room, looking around.
Zhan ran out immediately.
Yibo turned quickly and chased after him, calling his name.
Seeing no escape, Zhan rushed toward the dining table in the living room. His eyes fell on a knife lying there. He grabbed it and turned around, pointing it at Yibo.
Tears streamed down his face.
Yibo slowly shook his head.
"Wait… Meilin."
Zhan's voice trembled.
"I swear… if you come any closer, I will kill myself right here, Yibo."
Yibo froze, unable to move.
Zhan backed toward the door, still holding the knife, tears falling endlessly.
Yibo spoke softly.
"No, Zhan… please don't leave."
But Zhan kept moving backward until he reached the door and ran out.
By nothing short of fate, Zhan managed to reach home safely despite the late hour.
Even the taxi driver noticed his condition and refused to accept payment.
When Zhan reached the apartment building, he collapsed near the door.
His bag...the one containing his keys...was gone.
He stayed there for several minutes before gathering enough strength to knock on Yunxi's door.
It didn't take long before Yunxi opened it.
He stepped back in shock when he saw Zhan.
Then he quickly knelt beside him.
"Are… are you okay?"
Zhan shook his head weakly, struggling to breathe.
Yunxi lifted him gently.
"Good heavens…"
Zhan suddenly burst into tears and grabbed Yunxi's shirt, pointing weakly to his chest.
His voice trembled.
"It's… hurting…"
Yunxi immediately rushed inside, grabbed his car keys, and returned.
Within minutes, he drove Zhan to a large hospital.
Zhan's condition had completely unsettled him. Yunxi could barely focus on anything except driving.
After Zhan lost consciousness inside the hospital, he didn't wake up again until the next morning.
Yunxi was sitting beside his bed, his head leaning against the chair.
They were the only ones in the ward.
Zhan slowly sat up, staring at the IV attached to his hand.
His heart felt calmer now, though his breathing still came in uneven waves.
He noticed the oxygen cylinder beside the bed.
When he checked the clock, it was almost eight in the morning.
With determination, he removed the IV drip and climbed off the bed. He entered a door he assumed was the restroom.
A few minutes later, he returned.
He walked slowly toward Yunxi, who was still asleep in his chair.
Seeing the exhaustion on Yunxi's face filled Zhan with unexpected sympathy.
Tears gathered in his eyes.
He knelt beside the chair and gently touched it.
"Doctor…"
Yunxi immediately opened his eyes and sat upright.
He quickly knelt in front of Zhan.
"How are you feeling now, Zhan?" he asked with concern.
"I feel better," Zhan replied . "You need rest. Lie down on the bed… I'm not sleepy."
Yunxi held his hand, about to respond.
Just then, the door opened and a nurse entered the ward.
She asked why Zhan had removed his IV drip.
"I used the restroom," Zhan explained.
The nurse reattached the drip and helped him back onto the bed.
Yunxi followed her outside the ward for a moment.
Zhan sat quietly, trying hard to stop the tears forming in his eyes.
A few minutes later, Yunxi returned carrying a covered mug.
He sat beside the bed and handed it to him.
"Drink this before they give you another injection."
Zhan took it slowly and drank while Yunxi watched him carefully.
When he finished, Yunxi asked gently,
"Where does it hurt now?"
"Nowhere… just my chest."
"It will get better."
The nurse returned with a tray of medicine and an injection.
Yunxi stepped outside the room while she treated Zhan and explained how to take the medication.
After she left, Yunxi came back with bottled water.
Zhan took the medicine and then spoke quietly.
"I want to go home, please."
"No. Not until you feel stronger."
Zhan shook his head.
"I'm feeling better now. I just want to sleep."
"Well, they still need to discharge you first."
Zhan didn't say anything more.
Yunxi adjusted his pillow gently, watching him as he lay back down.
It was nearly 1 p.m. before Zhan was discharged.
Yunxi paid the hospital bill, and they left the clinic together.
After they had driven for some time, Zhan finally spoke softly.
"How much was the bill?"
Yunxi didn't answer and didn't even look at him.
Instead, he parked the car in front of a small restaurant and went inside.
Zhan watched through the window until Yunxi returned carrying two takeaway bags.
They drove home.
When they arrived, Yunxi parked and turned to look at him.
Zhan had leaned his head against the seat with his eyes closed.
After a moment, Yunxi spoke quietly.
"Zhan."
Zhan opened his eyes.
"We're home."
Zhan looked around slowly.
Yunxi stepped out of the car with the food.
Zhan got out as well, but dizziness suddenly hit him. He had to lean against the car to steady himself.
Yunxi quickly walked around to his side and held out his hand.
Zhan lowered his eyes before placing his hand in Yunxi's.
Yunxi supported him all the way to the apartment.
"Your key?" Yunxi asked.
Zhan remained silent for a moment before replying softly,
"It was in my bag."
"Where is the bag?"
Zhan couldn't answer.
Without saying another word, Yunxi opened the door to his own apartment.
Yunxi paused at the doorway, watching as Zhan walked into the living room.
After a moment, he followed him inside.
Zhan walked to the sofa and sat down.
Yunxi locked the door behind them, placed the takeaway bags on the center table, and then went into the bedroom.
Zhan leaned his head back against the sofa, sinking deep into his thoughts.
After a while, he heard Yunxi calling his name.
He quickly raised his head and saw Yunxi standing beside him, his arms folded across his chest.
"I've prepared some warm water for you in the bathroom," Yunxi said gently.
Zhan lowered his gaze.
He stood up and followed Yunxi into the bedroom.
Yunxi picked up a towel and handed it to him.
"Thank you," Zhan said quietly as he took it.
Yunxi nodded and left the room.
Zhan rinsed his mouth with mouthwash and then took a shower, using the shower gel. Nearly thirty minutes passed before he finished.
When he came out of the bathroom, he hesitated at the doorway, unsure whether to step out wearing only the towel.
The room was empty.
The only thing he noticed was his jacket lying on the bed.
Surprise crossed his face as he stared at it for a moment.
He walked over, picked it up, and returned to the bathroom.
After washing the clothes he had removed, he put on the long jacket and came out carrying the washed clothes in a small bucket.
In the living room, he saw Yunxi sitting on the couch with a remote control in his hand.
Yunxi glanced at him briefly before looking away.
"Why did you wash your clothes?" Yunxi asked. "You're still under medication."
Zhan didn't answer.
"I opened the door to your apartment," Yunxi added.
"Really?" Zhan asked.
"Yes. You can go and get dress."
"Thank you," Zhan replied softly, holding the long jacket around himself.
After leaving, he washed Yunxi's towel in the bathroom as well.
Afterward, he went outside to hang the clothes he had washed along with the towel.
When he finished, he returned to the bedroom and lay down.
Sleep came almost immediately.
Zhan slowly opened his eyes when he felt someone waking him.
He quickly sat up and saw Yunxi standing nearby.
"I've been knocking and calling you for a while," Yunxi said. "Come eat something."
Zhan shook his head.
"I'm not hungry. I just want to sleep."
"No," Yunxi insisted. "You haven't eaten anything all day, and you need to take your medicine. You have to eat something."
With that, Yunxi stood up and waited.
Zhan finally climbed down from the bed and followed him into the living room.
Yunxi served him some food and handed him the plate.
Zhan began eating slowly while Yunxi continued scrolling through his phone.
After a while, Zhan set the plate down and frowned.
"I'm full."
Yunxi looked at the food, then picked up the medicine bag. He removed the tablets and handed them to Zhan along with a bottle of water.
Zhan took the medicine and swallowed it while Yunxi watched.
" I hope it ease your pain," Yunxi said softly.
Zhan didn't respond.
"Go back and rest," Yunxi continued. "Sleep… and try not to think about anything."
Zhan nodded quietly and returned to the bedroom.
He didn't wake up again until around 2:30 in the afternoon.
After using the bathroom, he lay back down again.
Soon, he heard someone knocking on the bedroom door.
Still half asleep, he sat up and opened it.
Yunxi was standing outside.
"Have you been sleeping this whole time?" Yunxi asked.
Zhan nodded.
"What about food?"
"I'm not hungry."
Yunxi shook his head.
"Yes, you are. Come out. I brought you something to eat, and you still need to take your medicine."
Without waiting for a reply, he turned and walked away.
Zhan followed him into the living room.
Yunxi pointed toward the food on the table.
Zhan walked over and opened the container.
It was Chinese food.
He looked up at Yunxi.
Yunxi shrugged.
"A friend of mine made it."
"Aren't you going to eat?" Zhan asked.
Yunxi quickly shook his head.
"No. I don't eat heavy meals. I don't eat that kind of food."
Zhan smiled faintly and looked away.
Yunxi rubbed the back of his neck.
"I brought it because of you."
"Thank you," Zhan said.
"No thanks needed."
Zhan went into the kitchen, took a plate, and served himself some of the food.
Yunxi remained standing nearby.
Zhan glanced at him.
"You're not going to sit down?"
Yunxi was silent for a moment.
Then he walked over and sat in the chair across from him.
"So… you care," he said lightly.
Zhan didn't respond.
He continued eating slowly.
Every time he raised his head, their eyes met.
Eventually, Zhan avoided looking up again until he finished eating.
He took his medicine and swallowed it.
Only then did he look at Yunxi again.
Yunxi was still watching him.
Zhan frowned slightly and looked away.
A faint smile appeared on Yunxi's face.
"Who is Yibo?"
Zhan looked at Yunxi quickly...only to realize Yunxi was already watching him the same way.
After a moment, Zhan frowned slightly.
"I don't understand what you mean," he said.
Yunxi didn't respond immediately.
Almost five minutes passed before he finally spoke.
"Don't pretend… Is he your husband?"
Zhan's heart began to pound.
"No."
Yunxi continued studying his face.
"Your ex-husband?"
Zhan's expression hardened with irritation.
"No."
He stood up and looked directly at Yunxi.
"I know nothing about what you're talking about."
A faint smile appeared on Yunxi's lips.
"You passed out yesterday at the hospital with Yibo's name on your lips."
Zhan fell silent.
He looked at Yunxi quietly, his expression suddenly fragile.
Within seconds, tears filled his eyes.
Without saying another word, he turned and hurried out of the living room.
Yunxi called after him several times, but Zhan had already entered the bedroom.
He sank down onto the floor, curled into himself, and broke into uncontrollable sobs.
Yunxi followed him into the room.
He approached slowly and knelt in front of him.
"Alright… I'm sorry, Zhan," he said gently. "Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it. But I had to say something. If I ever meet this Yibo…"
His voice hardened.
"I'll make sure he understands exactly what you're feeling. I'm guessing he broke your heart… and now he's trying to return to your life for his own selfish reasons. If that's true, he will regret it the day we meet face to face. I swear it."
Zhan didn't reply.
He only kept crying.
His entire body felt cold and weak.
After a while, Yunxi slowly stood up and left the room.
Yunxi did not return until late that night.
Meanwhile, Zhan quietly packed the few belongings he intended to take home.
He no longer felt like staying in the country...not even for his studies.
Everything about this place had suddenly lost its meaning.
Tears kept falling as he sat there in silence.
Yang Yang had always wanted him to become a doctor.
But somehow, he had ended up studying pharmacy instead.
Now, he didn't even feel like continuing.
He had already given up.
Perhaps someday, in another time, he might still become the doctor Yang had dreamed of.
But even if he did…
What difference would it make?
The person he wanted to do it for had left him at the time he needed him most.
Zhan couldn't say he had completely abandoned him…
But what was the difference?
In the end, it felt almost the same.
Zhan wiped the tears from his face and slowly walked into the living room.
He stopped when he saw Yunxi standing there...he had just returned.
Zhan lowered his gaze as fresh tears slipped down his cheeks.
Yunxi stepped closer.
"Where are you going?"
Zhan turned his back to him, trying to stop the tears threatening to break free again.
"Bab...." Yunxi paused before correcting himself softly. "Zhan."
Zhan's voice trembled.
"I'm going back to China."
Yunxi gently turned him around and guided him to sit on the sofa.
He watched quietly as Zhan cried, letting him release everything he had been holding inside.
Zhan curled forward, his head resting against his knees as he struggled to breathe through the pain.
After a moment, Yunxi spoke softly.
"Tell me about yourself, Zhan."
Zhan lifted his head slowly, tears sliding down his face.
But he had made a promise to himself long ago....
After Yang, no one would ever truly know who he was.
Yunxi's voice pulled him back from his thoughts.
"I still don't deserve to know you, do I?"
Zhan lowered his head again, wiping away the tears.
Inside, he wondered if he could ever truly tell Yunxi who he really was.
Slowly, he slid down from the couch to sit on the floor.
Yunxi followed him down, sitting across from him and studying his red, tear-filled eyes.
Zhan leaned his head against the couch behind him.
"Stop looking at me like that," he said quietly.
Yunxi paused.
"Why?"
Zhan answered softly.
"I don't like eyes like yours."
Yunxi smiled slightly.
"Really?"
Zhan didn't respond.
After a moment, Yunxi said gently,
"Alright… I won't look at you anymore."
Zhan lifted his head...only for their eyes to meet again.
He quickly looked away and leaned his head back against the couch.
Yunxi almost laughed but held it back, rubbing the back of his head with a faint smile.
"I'm listening, Zhan," he said quietly.
Zhan lifted his head again and began playing nervously with his long fingers.
"Alright…"
Just then, Yunxi's phone began ringing.
He pulled it from his pocket.
Both of them looked at the screen at the same time.
The name Tieh appeared.
Yunxi silenced the call and set the phone aside.
Zhan stared down at the soft carpet beneath them, unmoving.
Then he spoke softly.
"I'm an only child."
"My father raised me alone. I grew up in a very wealthy family."
"My mother died when I was only three years old."
A faint smile touched his lips, but fresh tears filled his eyes as he looked at Yunxi...who was watching him quietly.
Who is Zhan?
Six years earlier…
Flashback…
💚💙❤🖤