No matter how badly Zhan wanted to cry, no matter how desperately he wanted some kind of relief from the ache crushing his chest, he simply couldn't. He had only spoken to Yunxi that way to clear his own conscience, regardless of what happened afterward....something he never even wanted to imagine...but he had never expected such a cold response from him. How could Yunxi just decide to leave?
That thought alone shattered him.
The tears came all at once, fierce and uncontrollable. So Yunxi had never truly loved him after all. Maybe everything between them had only been a game. Every bit of warmth and happiness inside Zhan seemed to disappear completely.
He cried until his body felt weak and cold, until even breathing hurt.
:
:
Later that evening, he lay alone in the dark bedroom. The tears had finally stopped, but the heaviness in his chest remained. His heart felt painfully empty.
After a while, he heard the living room door open.
Even with the bedroom lights off, his eyes stayed fixed on the door. A few seconds later, it slowly opened, and Roulan stepped inside quietly. Without turning on the light, the little boy hurried to the bed, climbed onto it, and curled up beside him.
"Momy... are you sleeping?" he whispered softly.
Zhan kept his eyes closed and said nothing.
He felt Roulan shift closer, mumbling his little bedtime words before snuggling against him. After a moment, Zhan finally asked in a low voice,
"Did you eat?"
Roulan lifted his head to look at him. "Dr. Uncle gave me food. I already ate."
Zhan silently pulled him closer and hugged.
Only after he felt Roulan drift off to sleep did he carefully adjust the blanket around him. Then, with difficulty, he got out of bed, his head throbbing painfully, and walked toward the living room to lock the door.
That was when he noticed the key lying on the center table.
He tried the handle and realized the door had already been locked from the outside, with the key deliberately left behind for him.
Quietly, he returned to the living room, picked up Roulan's schoolbooks, and checked his assignments. Seeing that everything had been completed, he packed them neatly into his schoolbag before switching off the light and returning to bed.
Sleep didn't come easily.
It was nearly ten at night when his phone suddenly rang.
Zhan opened his eyes immediately, sat up slowly, and reached for the phone. Seeing the caller's name, he answered softly and greeted him.
"I hope I didn't wake you, Meiqin,"
came Yang-Yang's calm voice from the other end.
Zhan closed his eyes briefly. "I wasn't sleeping."
There was a short silence before Yang-Yang spoke again.
"Tell me what happened. What's wrong?"
Zhan's eyes opened at once, startled.
"Nothing," he replied quickly. "I'm just tired. Why would you think something's wrong?"
Yang-Yang gave a faint sigh. "Because I know you, Meiqin. We lived together for two years. I can hear it in your voice."
Zhan lowered his gaze. "Really, it's nothing. Today was just exhausting."
"Alright then," Yang-Yang said gently.
Trying to sound normal, Zhan asked, "How's my little princess?"
"She's asleep already," Yang-Yang replied.
A small smile touched Zhan's lips. "Then kiss her forehead for me."
"I will." After a pause, Yang-Yang asked, "Is Roulan asleep too?"
"Yes."
"He should continue school over here," Yang-Yang said thoughtfully. "I was planning to come next week and enroll him myself."
Zhan hesitated before answering softly, "He already started school."
There was a pause.
"He did?"
"Yes."
"And you didn't tell me?"
Zhan lowered his head. "I'm sorry."
Yang-Yang was quiet for another moment before asking, "You enrolled him yourself?"
"No. Dr. Luo did."
Again, silence.
Then Yang-Yang finally said, "That's good."
Zhan tightened his grip on the blanket. "You're really coming next week?"
"Yeah. I have something to handle there anyway, so I'll stay a few days." His voice softened. "Do you need anything?"
Zhan shook his head even though Yang-Yang couldn't see him. "No. I'm fine. Have a safe trip."
"Thank you." Yang-Yang paused before adding gently, "Get some rest, dear. You have lectures tomorrow, don't you?"
Zhan smiled faintly without answering.
After reminding him to take care of himself, Yang-Yang said goodbye and ended the call.
Zhan slowly lowered the phone, lay back down beside Roulan, and pulled the duvet over both of them before closing his eyes once more.
***
The next morning, before seven o'clock, Zhan had already finished everything he needed to do.
He fed Roulan the noodles he had prepared carefully, making sure the little boy didn't stain his school uniform. Once Roulan finished eating, Zhan handed him his backpack, picked up his own bag, took Roulan's hand, and headed toward the door.
After locking the apartment, Roulan looked up at him and asked innocently, "Momy, are we walking again today and leaving Dr. Uncle behind?"
Zhan glanced at him quietly before answering in a soft voice, "He's still asleep, dear."
Then he gently led him away.
Just like the day before, he found a taxi for them. He dropped Roulan off at school before heading to his own university, even though he had no morning lectures that day.
He found an empty spot and sat there alone.
At that moment, more than anything, he wanted someone who could comfort him, even if only for a little while. The pain inside him felt unbearable. He wiped at the tears gathering in his eyes again and again, struggling desperately to stay composed.
He still couldn't bring himself to call his Mommy.
So he remained there silently until lecture time arrived. Even then, he didn't move until he saw Vanessa calling for him from a distance. Slowly, with a heavy body and an exhausted heart, he stood up and followed her.
After their afternoon lectures ended, Zhan quietly slipped away to the cafeteria before Vanessa and the others could notice him.
He sat alone at a corner table, resting his chin against his hand, lost in thought.
"Lift your head."
The familiar voice startled him.
He looked up and saw Yibo sitting across from him, watching him quietly.
Almost immediately, Zhan lowered his gaze again.
For several long minutes, neither of them spoke. Yibo simply scrolled through his phone while Zhan sat there in silence, trying to steady himself.
Finally, Zhan stood up. He grabbed his phone and bag from the table, intending to leave.
"Meilin," Yibo called softly.
Without looking at him, Zhan stopped walking.
Yibo rose from his seat and moved closer. "Are you going home?"
Carefully hiding the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, Zhan gave a small nod.
Then he walked out of the cafeteria.
Yibo followed behind him.
They walked for a long time without speaking. Zhan said nothing, and Yibo didn't pressure him either. They simply walked side by side in heavy silence.
At last, Yibo spoke quietly.
"What's wrong, Meilin?"
That single question broke the last of Zhan's restraint.
The tears burst out of him as though they had been waiting for permission all along.
Yibo immediately panicked.
"Hey...what happened?" he asked quickly. "Meilin, please tell me. Did something happen?"
But Zhan couldn't answer.
He only kept crying, his chest aching with a pain too deep to explain.
Watching him like that made Yibo's own heart tighten painfully.
Without realizing it, Yibo suddenly said sharply, "Please... I don't like seeing you like this, Meilin. Stop crying."
Zhan forced himself to quiet down, but the tears continued streaming silently down his face.
Yibo found a nearby bench and sat heavily, pressing a hand against his forehead. His body felt strangely cold, his chest tight with emotions he didn't want to remember. Zhan's crying brought back memories of another terrible day six years ago...a day neither of them had ever truly escaped.
After a moment, Zhan slowly walked over and sat beside him, wiping helplessly at his tears.
Nearly a minute passed before Yibo finally lifted his head.
In a gentler voice, he asked, "What happened, Zhan?"
Zhan swallowed hard.
"Can I confide in you?" he asked quietly.
Yibo looked at him steadily, without blinking.
"Of course, Meilin," he said softly. "You won't regret it."
Zhan nodded faintly.
"Okay... thank you."
And then silence settled between them once again.
Zhan slowly rested his head against his knees, refusing to speak.
For more than two minutes, Yibo simply watched him in silence. Finally, he rubbed a hand over his own head and said softly,
"Talk to me, Meilin..."
Zhan lifted his head slightly, and Yibo's gaze immediately fell on his reddened eyes.
Zhan swallowed hard, his shoulders trembling faintly. "I think... I changed my mind."
His voice shook as he spoke.
Yibo looked at him gently. "Why, Meilin?"
Zhan stayed silent.
Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks again.
Deep concern crossed Yibo's face. "Why did you change your mind? Don't you trust me?"
Zhan wiped at his eyes before finally looking at him. Yibo leaned his head back against the bench and closed his eyes briefly.
Then he heard Zhan's quiet voice.
"I want to go home."
Yibo opened his eyes, glanced at his wristwatch, and nodded gently.
"Alright. I'll take you."
He stood first, and after a moment, Zhan slowly rose as well, still wiping his eyes.
When they reached Yibo's car, neither of them spoke. Yibo unlocked the door and got in first, and Zhan quietly followed.
The entire drive passed in silence.
Zhan sat absentmindedly, his thoughts far away, until his eyes landed on a small children's watch resting inside the car.
His breath caught.
Slowly, he reached out and picked it up, staring at it without blinking.
It was the watch Yunxi had bought for the twins during their last visit before they returned home. Zhan immediately recognized it. Roulan's matching watch was still with him.
Yibo remained quiet as he drove.
Finally, noticing the look on Zhan's face, he said softly,
"It belonged to Rouxue."
Zhan lowered his eyes to the watch again before quietly asking,
"Where did you get it?"
A faint smile crossed Yibo's lips.
"The day of the accident... it was in his pocket. I took it at the hospital."
Zhan's fingers tightened around it.
Without saying anything, he slowly unzipped his bag, intending to place the watch inside.
But before he could, Yibo gently took it from his hand.
Zhan looked at him in surprise.
Yibo glanced at the watch before saying quietly,
"I wanted to keep it too. That's why it stayed in the car."
Zhan inhaled deeply. "Well... I want it too."
Yibo's voice softened.
"But Roulan already has one."
Zhan immediately reached for it again.
At the same moment, Yibo suddenly turned the steering wheel, making Zhan gasp in fright.
A second later, Yibo parked properly by the roadside.
Zhan stared at him, heart racing.
Yibo looked like he was struggling not to laugh. He lifted the watch slightly out of Zhan's reach.
"I don't want you taking my son's things," Zhan muttered.
Yibo's expression gentled instantly.
"He's my son too, Meilin."
Zhan shot him a look.
"In your dreams."
Yibo only smiled quietly while looking down at the watch in his hand.
Finally, he held it back out toward Zhan.
"Alright. I give up."
Zhan didn't answer immediately.
Yibo continued holding it out patiently until Zhan finally lifted his head with a small pout.
"Fine. I'm lending it to you," he said stubbornly. "You'll give it back someday."
A warm smile spread across Yibo's face.
"Then thank you, Meilin."
He carefully placed the watch back where it had been before turning toward him again.
"But why did you change your mind?"
Zhan looked at him briefly before glancing away.
For several long seconds, he said nothing. Then quietly:
"It's Dr. Yunxi... and I don't think telling you would help anyway."
The smile disappeared from Yibo's face completely.
Still, he gathered himself enough to ask,
"What happened?"
Zhan leaned back against the seat. The memory returned so vividly it hurt all over again.
His voice trembled.
"Just because I spoke honestly to him... he treated me like I betrayed him."
Yibo felt his chest tighten painfully.
"Maybe..." he began carefully, "maybe he misunderstood you, Meilin..."
At that, Zhan broke down crying again, remembering Yunxi's words from the previous night.
Yibo closed his eyes briefly before speaking firmly.
"Please stop crying. I really hate seeing you like this."
Zhan forced himself to quiet down, wiping helplessly at his tears.
Yibo leaned back against the seat, his expression calm but distant.
"He misunderstood you," he said quietly. "But... the way you told him wasn't good either."
Zhan turned to him immediately.
"Then what was I supposed to say?"
A faint, helpless smile touched Yibo's lips.
"You were too direct. That's not how those things should be said."
Zhan folded his arms with a small pout.
"Well, it's already done."
Yibo ran a hand through his hair before asking carefully,
"Do you want me to talk to him?"
Zhan's eyes widened at once.
"Tell him what?"
Without looking at him, Yibo replied,
"I'll just explain what you actually meant. Maybe then...."
"No."
Zhan cut him off quickly, taking a deep breath.
"You don't need to. I don't care anymore... and I wish him well too."
Yibo studied him carefully.
"Then forget him," he said softly. "And don't cry over him again."
Zhan stayed silent for a while before finally whispering,
"But I can't forget him that easily."
Yibo looked at him quietly.
"He did something I'll never forget for the rest of my life."
Yibo's gaze sharpened slightly.
"What did he do for you?"
Zhan hesitated before answering softly,
"He healed my pain. He always made sure I was okay."
Yibo frowned faintly.
"What kind of pain?"
Zhan lowered his eyes.
"My heart," he whispered. "The pain in my heart."
Yibo stared at him for a moment before asking carefully,
"You mean... you had a heart condition?"
Zhan didn't answer.
Instead, he lowered his face and wiped away the tears spilling down again.
Yibo suddenly felt cold all over.
After a long pause, he asked quietly,
"Was I the reason, Meilin?"
Zhan remained silent.
Yibo's voice softened.
"Meilin..."
Only then did Zhan slowly look at him.
Yibo had no idea what to say anymore. His entire body felt numb.
Finally, he started the engine again and said gently,
"Let me get you something to eat."
Zhan said nothing.
Yibo drove them to a nearby restaurant. After parking, he turned toward him with a quiet expression.
"Come on."
Then he stepped out of the car, and after a moment, Zhan followed him.
On the far side of the restaurant, Yunxi sat alone with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He leaned back against his chair, watching them silently. By the time the coffee had gone completely cold, he still had not taken a single sip.
His eyes never left them.
The moment he realized the seats directly facing his own were the ones they would take, he quietly turned his chair away from them.
Yibo handed Zhan the menu.
At first, Zhan looked as though he would refuse it, but eventually he accepted it quietly. Yibo watched him carefully, countless thoughts running through his mind.
Barely thirty seconds later, Zhan handed it back.
"Anything is fine."
Yibo nodded gently and ordered the same meal for both of them.
Even though neither of them truly had an appetite, they still forced themselves to eat little by little.
Soon, silence settled between them again.
Each was lost inside his own thoughts.
Zhan thought about his children... about Roulan... and about Rouxue. And because of everything that had happened, he realized that somehow, little by little, he had started feeling comfortable around Yibo in a way he never had before.
Yibo, meanwhile, found himself thinking that if he failed to marry Zhan someday, he might never know peace for the rest of his life.
After a while, Yibo lifted his gaze and quietly watched the way Zhan poked at his food, eating as though he were being forced.
Their eyes met briefly.
Zhan immediately lowered his gaze.
A faint smile appeared on Yibo's lips.
"You're barely eating."
"I am eating," Zhan replied softly.
Yibo was the first to stop, gently pushing his plate aside even though he had hardly eaten much.
Zhan glanced at him.
"You're already full?"
Yibo nodded.
The expression on his face looked exactly like Roulan whenever he refused to finish his meals.
Zhan stared at him silently.
Yibo smiled again, touched his own forehead lightly, then pushed the rest of his food toward Zhan.
"Want some more?"
Zhan narrowed his eyes at him and pushed his own plate back instead.
"You should eat mine too."
Yibo lowered his head and laughed quietly.
A faint smile finally appeared on Zhan's face as he watched him.
For a brief moment, everything about Yibo reminded him painfully of his children.
The resemblance was impossible to ignore.
Yibo picked up a tissue and wiped his mouth slowly before speaking again.
"That day my aunt asked about you... it was because I told her you're studying here."
Zhan lowered his eyes.
"Send her my greetings."
Yibo watched him quietly for a moment before speaking gently.
"Or we could go visit her now. She likes you very much."
Then after a pause, he added softly,
"And afterward, you can explain things properly to Dr. Yunxi so he'll stop being angry with you."
Zhan inhaled deeply.
"I don't care about him now."
His voice trembled.
"And I don't even like him anymore."
The moment those words left him, he lowered his head onto the table and began crying softly again.
Yibo stared at him silently.
Then, in a quiet voice, he said,
"I'm sorry. But don't cry anymore. I'm sure he never truly meant those words."
Zhan said nothing else.
A few minutes later, Yibo quietly paid the bill and stood.
"Come on. Let's go."
Zhan rose slowly, and together they left the restaurant, Zhan walked ahead with Yibo followed behind.
from his seat in the corner, Yunxi watched them leave without blinking.
Neither of them spoke once they reached the car.
Yibo opened the passenger door for Zhan and waited.
Slowly, Zhan stepped forward and got inside.
Yibo closed the door gently before walking around to the driver's side and starting the car.
Once they reached the main road, Yibo glanced at him briefly.
"Should we go see her, Meilin?"
At first Zhan remained silent.
Then quietly, he answered,
"Alright."
Yibo smiled faintly.
"Thank you, Roulan's mother."
By the time they arrived at the house, the tight ache in Zhan's chest had eased slightly.
Yibo parked the car and looked toward him.
"Come on."
Without protest, Zhan stepped out.
Yibo walked ahead while Zhan followed behind him quietly until they entered the living room.
Mian-Mian was alone there, writing something on paper.
The moment she saw them, she stood up in surprise.
"Oh...Zhan? You actually came to our house today. Welcome."
Zhan forced a small smile.
"Thank you."
Yibo headed upstairs without another word.
Mian-Mian watched him leave before turning back toward Zhan.
After a moment, she stood up, brought him water and a drink, and placed them gently in front of him.
"How's Roulan?"
"He's at school."
"Oh? So you went to classes today too?"
Zhan nodded softly.
"I came straight from campus."
Mian-Mian smiled.
"I just got back too. I was waiting for brother Yibo because he said he'd stop by, but I never saw him come in..."
Just then, Aunt Marry entered the living room.
Mian-Mian immediately brightened.
"Mum, Roulan's mother is here today."
Aunt Marry hurried forward happily.
"Really? Zhan, welcome."
Zhan lowered his head politely.
"Thank you, Aunt. How are you?"
"I'm doing well. And home?"
"Everything's fine."
"And your studies?"
Zhan played absentmindedly with the strap of his bag.
"All going well."
Aunt Marry smiled warmly.
"That's wonderful. I wish you success. Where's Roulan?"
"He's at school," Yibo answered as he reentered the living room.
"Oh? So he already started school here? That's wonderful."
Then she stood.
"Come upstairs and rest for a while. You should eat something too."
Unable to refuse, Zhan quietly followed behind her upstairs.
Once they were gone, Mian-Mian turned toward Yibo suspiciously.
"Brother... did you seriously make me wait at school today?"
Yibo rubbed his jaw lightly but said nothing.
Meanwhile, halfway upstairs, Zhan glanced back.
His eyes met Yibo's for only a second before he quickly looked away and entered the room Aunt Marry had opened for him.
He sat quietly on a cushion.
Not long afterward, Mian-Mian entered carrying a tray of food.
She set it in front of him carefully.
"Eat something, Zhan."
His eyes widened.
"I already ate before coming here. I'm really not hungry."
"Then just a little."
Before Zhan could respond, the door opened again.
Tieh walked in first.
Their eyes met briefly.
Immediately, Zhan lowered his head.
Without saying a word, Tieh placed down her handbag and quietly left the room again.
The tension in the room instantly thickened.
Mian-Mian shifted awkwardly while Zhan kept his gaze lowered.
A moment later, Zaan entered.
Her eyes widened in surprise.
"Wow, Zhan, you're here today?"
Zhan smiled faintly.
"How are you?"
"I'm fine. How were lectures? Did you come with Mian-Mian?"
Mian-Mian laughed softly.
"Yeah."
"And Roulan?"
"He's at school."
"That's good."
Then Zaan quickly left again.
Zhan's attention drifted toward the clock on the wall.
His thoughts were entirely with Roulan now.
School would end soon.
After waiting for Mian-Mian to finish what she's doing, he quietly asked her to tell Aunt Marry he would be leaving.
Just then, Zaan returned to the room while on a video call.
She hurried over excitedly and crouched beside Zhan, holding out the phone.
"Mama, look! Don't they resemble each other?"
Smiling awkwardly, Zhan tried not to look at the screen.
"Zhan, greet my mother properly."
Only then did he glance at the screen.
A young elderly woman smiled warmly back at him.
"How are you Aunty?"
"I'm fine," she replied kindly. "And your studies?"
"going well."
"That's wonderful. I hope everything works out for you. Take care of yourself, alright?"
The warmth in her voice made Zhan's chest soften slightly.
"Thank you."
After saying goodbye, the call ended.
Zaan stood again, still smiling.
"When Situ gets back, call me. I need to show her the person who looks exactly like her."
Zhan only smiled quietly.
Soon afterward, he turned toward Mian-Mian again.
"Please tell Aunty I'm leaving now."
"Alright."
Together, they headed downstairs.
Aunt Marry looked disappointed.
"You're leaving already?"
Zhan smiled gently.
"Roulan will be finishing school soon."
"Well then, thank you for visiting us today."
She handed him a small package.
"This is for Roulan."
Shyly, Zhan accepted it.
"Thank you, Aunty."
Zaan immediately complained,
"Then I'm visiting your place tomorrow or the next day."
Zhan laughed softly.
"You're welcome anytime."
Mian-Mian walked him outside where Yibo was already waiting in the car.
After getting in, Zhan waved gently toward them.
"Thank you. See you later."
Yibo started the car and drove out of the compound.
Once they were back on the road, Zhan finally spoke.
"I need to pick Roulan up from school."
"I figured," Yibo replied. "It's about that time."
Zhan looked surprised when Yibo turned onto the road leading directly to the school.
"How do you even know where his school is?"
Yibo smiled faintly.
"Do you underestimate the connection between a father and his son?"
Zhan stared at him silently before pouting slightly.
"Stop calling him your son."
Yibo glanced at him.
"Why?"
"Because his father is Attorney Yang."
Yibo only smiled quietly.
When they arrived at the school, Zhan stepped out to pick Roulan up while Yibo waited inside the car.
A few minutes later, Zhan returned alone.
Yibo frowned slightly.
"Where's Roulan?"
Zhan opened the car door and sat down quietly.
"Dr. Luo already picked him up."
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