Chapter: The Hardest Lie
(Keif's POV)
I didn't sleep that night.
Not even for a second.
Every time I closed my eyes, Yuri's voice came back.
Tell her you used her.
Or I'll kill Jay.
The words kept repeating in my head like a broken recording.
I sat on the edge of my bed most of the night, staring at the floor.
I kept thinking about Jay.
Her laugh.
The way she rolled her eyes whenever Ci n said something stupid.
The way she leaned against me when she was reading.
And that stupid argument about snacks two days ago.
All of it.
Every memory made this harder.
Because I knew what I had to do.
And I knew she would never forgive me for it.
Morning came too fast.
School felt different that day.
Like the walls were closing in on me.
I walked into Section E and sat at my desk.
Everyone was loud like usual.
Eren and Josh were arguing.
Felix and Drew were laughing about something.
Ci n was throwing paper balls across the room.
Everything looked normal.
But my chest felt heavy.
Then she walked in.
Jay.
She looked the same as always.
Hair slightly messy.
Bag on one shoulder.
Calm expression.
When she saw me, she smiled a little.
"Good morning."
My chest tightened.
I nodded slightly.
I couldn't trust my voice.
If I spoke normally, I might change my mind.
And I couldn't change my mind.
Not if Yuri was serious.
Not if Jay's life depended on this.
Class started.
I didn't hear anything the teacher said.
My mind was somewhere else the entire time.
Thinking about the moment I had to break her heart.
Lunch break came.
Students started leaving the classroom.
Jay walked toward my desk.
"Keif."
I looked up.
Her expression was slightly annoyed.
"You've been acting weird since yesterday."
I didn't answer.
Because if I started talking normally…
I wouldn't be able to say the things I had to say.
She crossed her arms.
"Can we talk?"
I stood up.
"Sure."
We walked into the hallway.
Students passed us, laughing and talking.
But everything sounded distant to me.
Jay turned toward me.
"You disappeared yesterday."
I stayed quiet.
"You kissed me in class for no reason."
Still quiet.
"Then you left."
Her voice softened slightly.
"What's going on with you?"
This was it.
The moment.
The moment I had been dreading all night.
I looked at the floor for a second.
Then I forced the words out.
"I need to tell you something."
She frowned slightly.
"What."
My chest felt like it was being crushed.
But I said it anyway.
"I used you."
For a second she didn't react.
Like her brain needed time to understand what I said.
"…What?"
"I used you."
Her eyes widened.
"What do you mean you used me?"
I forced myself to keep going.
Even though every word felt like a knife.
"Everything between us."
She stared at me.
"…What about it?"
"It was part of a plan."
Her breathing changed.
"A plan?"
"Yes."
Her voice became quieter.
"Was everything… the plan of yours?"
I wanted to say no.
I wanted to tell her the truth.
I wanted to tell her about Yuri.
About the threat.
About how none of this was real.
But I couldn't.
Because if Yuri was watching…
If he found out I told her…
Jay could get hurt.
So I said the word that broke both of us.
"Yes."
Her face changed immediately.
Like something inside her shattered.
"…So you never cared about me."
"No."
That lie hurt the most.
But I had to keep going.
"Not even a little?" she asked.
"No."
Her hands started shaking.
"What about everything we did together?"
"Just part of the plan."
She looked like she couldn't breathe.
"What about the times you said you liked me?"
"Lies."
Every word felt worse than the last.
But if I stopped now…
The entire thing would be pointless.
Then she said something quietly.
"You're lying."
I wished I was.
But I shook my head.
"I'm not."
Her voice broke.
"So when you kissed me yesterday…"
I forced my expression to stay blank.
"It didn't mean anything."
The silence that followed felt unbearable.
Then she whispered something that almost broke me.
"I hate you."
I didn't react.
I couldn't.
Because if I reacted…
I might take everything back.
She turned around and ran down the hallway.
I watched her go.
Every step felt heavier.
Part of me wanted to chase after her.
Tell her the truth.
Tell her everything.
But I stayed where I was.
Because this was the only way to keep her safe.
A few seconds later I saw Aries at the end of the hallway.
Jay ran straight to him.
And then she broke down crying.
I clenched my fists.
Watching her cry felt worse than anything Yuri could ever do to me.
Aries hugged her and tried to calm her down.
He didn't look at me.
He didn't need to.
We both knew what was happening.
I stayed there for a moment longer.
Then I turned around and walked away.
Because if Jay saw my face right now…
She might realize the truth.
And right now the truth was too dangerous.
So I kept walking.
Even though every step felt like I was leaving something behind.
And the worst part?
The person I just broke…
Was the one person I actually loved.