This was a mistake.
I knew it the second we started walking.
"…We have to tell them," Izuku Midoriya insisted, clutching his notebook like this was a life-or-death report.
"It's a serious situation—enemy infiltration, repeated contact, behavioral shifts—!"
"…She kissed him," Mina added helpfully.
"TWICE," Denki yelled.
"…Stop counting," I muttered.
Kaito walked beside me, hands in his pockets.
"…You could just not tell them."
"…And then what?" I said. "She shows up during class and does it again?"
Pause.
"…Okay yeah, we should tell them."
Principal's Office
The door to the office of Nezu opened slowly.
Inside—
Calm.
Quiet.
Professional.
At the desk sat Nezu himself.
To the side, leaning casually but looking tired as always, was Shota Aizawa.
And standing near the window—
Bright, heroic, unmistakable—
All Might.
"…Ah, Ren," Nezu said pleasantly. "And… quite the group you've brought."
I immediately regretted everything.
"…We have something to report," Midoriya said seriously.
The Explanation Begins
I stood there.
Silent.
"…Ren?" Aizawa said, already sounding tired. "You're the one involved. Talk."
"…Okay," I said slowly.
Deep breath.
"…So Toga showed up again."
Aizawa didn't react much.
"Expected."
"…She didn't attack."
That got a slight eyebrow raise.
"…She watched me work out."
Nezu's ears twitched slightly.
"…Interesting."
"…And then she…"
I paused.
"…Go on," All Might encouraged.
"…She kissed me."
Silence.
Processing… Then—
Aizawa blinked.
Once.
Nezu tilted his head.
All Might froze.
"…She what?" Aizawa asked flatly.
"…She kissed me," I repeated.
"…Twice," Denki added from behind me.
"STOP HELPING," I snapped.
It Gets Worse
Midoriya stepped forward.
"…The second instance lasted significantly longer and included direct facial contact and—"
"MIDORIYA—"
Mina jumped in.
"She grabbed his face and just went for it!"
Kirishima nodded aggressively.
"BRO DIDN'T EVEN DODGE—"
"I COULDN'T—"
Kaito added calmly:
"…He stopped functioning."
"…I HATE ALL OF YOU."
The Breaking Point
Silence filled the room again.
Nezu covered his mouth.
All Might turned away slightly.
Aizawa—
Aizawa's shoulders started shaking.
"…No way," I muttered.
They Start Laughing
Nezu let out a small chuckle.
"…My, my… that is quite the development…"
All Might coughed—
Then laughed.
"HAHA—! YOUNG REN—! IT SEEMS YOU'VE MADE QUITE THE IMPRESSION—!"
"…This is not funny," I said flatly.
Then—
A sound I never thought I would hear—
Aizawa—
laughed.
Not just a small chuckle.
Not just a breath.
He bent forward slightly—
Hand covering his face—
"…You—"
Pause.
"…you froze…?"
"…I DID NOT FREEZE—"
That made it worse.
Aizawa started wheezing.
Actually wheezing.
"…You—ran from villains—fought—trained—learned domains—"
He had to pause to breathe.
"…and THIS is what got you—?"
The room lost it.
Nezu laughed more openly now.
All Might was wiping tears from his eyes.
Even Midoriya was struggling to stay serious.
"…I regret coming here," I said.
No Mercy
Mina leaned over, whispering loudly:
"…Even Aizawa's laughing."
"…I CAN SEE THAT."
Denki pointed dramatically.
"YOU BROKE HIM—"
"I DIDN'T BREAK HIM—"
Kaito just shook his head.
"…This is worse than the fight, isn't it?"
"…Yes."
Eventually… Serious Again (Kind Of)
After a long moment—
Aizawa finally straightened up.
Still breathing a little unevenly.
"…Alright… alright…"
He wiped his eye slightly.
"…We'll take it seriously."
"…Thank you," I said.
"…But that's still the funniest thing I've heard all week."
"…I TAKE IT BACK."
Final Scene
As we left the office—
Still hearing faint laughter behind us—
I dragged a hand down my face.
"…I'm never reporting anything again."
Kaito smirked.
"…You say that now."
Mina grinned.
"…Until she shows up again~"
"…Don't."
But deep down—
I already knew.
She would.
And somehow—
It would probably be worse.