Zein's Point of View
I thought nothing could hurt more than the look on Matt's face when I walked past him. I didn't realize it would hurt even more now that he was avoiding me too. We hadn't spoken in days. Our other friends must've felt the tension, but they chose to stay quiet. Friends? Could we still call ourselves that? We hardly met anymore. I was swamped with preparations for Foundation Day, while everyone else was caught up in their own stuff. These were my thoughts as I sat at Wide Space, dazed, watching students pass by like blurry shadows.
"A penny for your thoughts." I looked up at the person who sat down beside me. Liam. I frowned and immediately looked away.
"Things are just so complicated," he said with a sigh, sounding almost bored. "They're already messy, yet we go and make them even more complicated."
"What do you want, Liam?" I asked, a bit irritated. When would I ever get a moment of peace in this place? Every time I wanted to be alone, someone would suddenly decide that sitting next to me was a bright idea.
"Nah. I am just wondering. Why do feelings suddenly fade?" I couldn't help but glance at him. "What are you trying to say?"
"Why do people suddenly change?"
I swung my backpack over my shoulder and stood up. "Because there is nothing permanent in this world."
"Even friendship?"
That question hit me so hard that leaving my spot suddenly felt difficult, as if a massive rock had struck me. All his questions were the exact same ones spinning in my head, and I had answered them with my own mouth. "Well, I guess you said it yourself." Then he left me standing there, dumbfounded. It took me several minutes before I could finally walk away from that place, though his words followed me like a ghost. Damn it!
However, what I said was the harsh truth about life: there was nothing permanent in this world, and everything could change in a snap... even the life one thought they had built for themselves.
"Do you have any suggestions, Ms. Shion?" I snapped back to reality when I heard my name come out of Supremo's mouth. I totally forgot we were in a meeting for Foundation Day because my head was in the clouds.
"H-huh?" I blinked.
"Are you with us? You're supposed to be planning this, Ms. Shion, because you're the secretary. We're just here to approve your suggestions," Teacher Kath lectured. I forced myself to focus. "I guess... leisure games will do," I suggested.
"Like what?" Vice Ty asked. I stood up and listed all the events I had in mind on the whiteboard for Foundation Week, which would end on Saturday—the day I'm supposed to just fade away. I stepped aside so they could see everything I wrote. Teacher Kath nodded, while the Supremo just stared at me. I met his gaze. For the first time, he was the one to break eye contact first.
"I approve," Supremo declared without glancing at the plan I'd written on the board. He approved it without throwing a glance.
"Hmm..." Teacher Kath hummed, a small smile playing on her lips. "I must say, you have brilliant ideas. Impressive." Whoa. She praised me. That's a first. Teacher Kath left as soon as the meeting ended. Meanwhile, I was still reeling from her compliment.
"She looked pretty happy with your ideas, huh?" Vice Ty remarked.
"Thanks." I smiled.
"I told you. She's really qualified for this position," Supremo said, sounding almost smug that he was right about picking me. I suddenly felt uneasy when Onel smirked at me. I raised an eyebrow, subtly asking him what the look was for, but he just shook his head, grabbed his bag, and walked out of the office.
"I have to go," I followed. I wanted to spend my remaining days with my friends.
"Are you ready?" Supremo suddenly asked. For the second time today, I froze in my tracks. I stayed with my back to him, facing the door, gripping my bag strap tight. "If you're talking about my death... I told you, I am... always." Something seemed to be stuck in my throat. I suddenly wondered, Am I really?
"You sure? You still have five days to go. Aren't you going to beg for my help?" My brow furrowed at what he said. What did he mean? Would he help me if I asked him to?
"You can't do anything about it." I turned to face him. He just stood there in front of his desk, staring at me intensely. Supremo held no authority over the laws in this place, particularly now that I was aware of the dangers his position carried. He couldn't take sides or save someone because it would jeopardize his status. He wouldn't risk the position he had just for the sake of some stupid newbie, would he?
"Is that really how little you think of me?" he asked, sounding offended, before walking toward me. He stood just an inch away, his presence completely overwhelming. Then he leaned down slightly to bring his face close to mine. "You must know," he said softly, "that I'm not named Ace without having one up my sleeve."
Maybe everyone's goal today was to leave me dumbfounded. What did he even mean? What "ace" was he talking about?
When I got back to the dorm, I screamed when I saw Vanessa hitting Hoy with a broom. "What the hell?!" I yelled.
Vanessa cried out a piercing scream. "Stay away from that cat, Zein! That thing's a ghost!" I picked up Hoy and stroked its fur. "Damn you, Van. That's animal harassment!"
"That cat is a ghost!"
"He is not! He is Hoy!" I protested. Vanessa dropped the broom and came closer. She stared at Hoy, and Hoy just looked at me as if he were totally traumatized by Vanessa. "Look, you traumatized the poor cat."
"But Allison said so, right? Black cats are ghosts!"
Oh, please. I thought the same thing at first, but it turned out not to be true. Now I couldn't tell if Allison's stories were real or just made up. I felt a tickle when Hoy licked my hand, so I couldn't help but give the cat a little smack on the head.
"What the heck. Why did you hit Hoy?"
"It was just a friendly smack," I replied. We laughed together, but deep down, I still felt like there was a huge thorn stuck in my throat. I need to talk to him. To Matt.
"Have you seen Matt?" I asked as I set Hoy down. The cat immediately hid under the table, looking definitely scared of Vanessa now. I mean, she did hit Hoy with a broom.
"N-no. Is there a problem between you two? Are you guys fighting?" I knew she'd been dying to ask. She only found the courage once I brought Matt up.
"No," I replied. We didn't really have a problem. We weren't arguing, or maybe I held a grudge. But that's over now, and which was why I wanted to talk to Matt. To see him in person. Because this situation was already getting to me. We barely saw each other, and when we did, we ignored each other.
"No? Then why are you avoiding each other?" she followed up.
I was about to open my mouth to answer when the door suddenly opened and Matt walked in. He gave me a quick glance before walking past me straight to the kitchen. Van nodded at me, giving me a signal. I quickly stood up and followed him.
"Matt," I called his name. He didn't say anything. He just drank some water, his back still turned to me. "Please..." I grabbed his arm. "We need to talk," I said, my voice trembling. My tears were already welling up in my eyes before we could even have a proper conversation. In all the time Matt and I had been together, I'd never felt like this or stuttered around him. It felt like everything was new to me.
"We have nothing to talk about," he replied in a cold voice I could barely recognize as his. His response almost made me fall apart. It didn't sound like him at all. My chest tightened again, my shoulders slumped. I let go of his arm and looked down at the floor. "Sorry..." I whispered, not knowing why the word just slipped out. I felt a tiny bit of relief saying it, but it wasn't enough to make me breathe easy.
Matt turned to face me, and I looked up at him, blinking when I saw him wearing a huge grin. "I'm that good!" He laughed. "I actually made you believe I was upset—"
I smacked his arm hard as my tears started pouring out, and he looked like it actually hurt. Does it still hurt? The mark? "I'm sorry if I've been cold to you the past few days," I said between my sobs. "I just had a lot on my mind."
Matt wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close until our bodies were touching. He brushed the tears from my cheeks with his thumb. "You have nothing to apologize for," he said. "I don't care why you were avoiding me. I'll always understand. You don't need to ask for forgiveness because you didn't do anything wrong. Apologies are only for those who did."
No! I did do something wrong. For a moment, I lost my trust in you, and I avoided you because of that. I ignored you. Don't pretend it was nothing because I saw the hurt in your eyes, I wanted to say. But instead, I muttered, "I hate myself, Matt. I hate myself so much."
"Sshh. It's nothing. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way." I hit his chest in frustration. Why was he always like this? He had every reason to be angry or hurt, but he chose to brush it off. Don't you have an ego, Matt? You're allowed to be mad! "I hate you," I said. Because I failed to trust you the way you always trust me.
"I know you have a reason, Zein. I won't force you to tell me why you were being cold because I don't really care why. All that matters to me is knowing that, in the end, I'll be the one you come to and hold." Matt pulled me into a tight hug. His sleeve slid up slightly, revealing the BBG symbol marked on his skin. I hugged him tighter, crying harder against his chest. Maybe I was wrong, but never too late.
Whatever your reasons are, I trust you, Matthew Hart.
I watched Matt as he chopped garlic and onions. His fingers moved so fast, it made me nervous that he might cut himself. So impressive. "Do you want to try?" he asked. I stepped back. "No."
"Just try..." He put the knife down and moved aside to give me space. I just stood there. I was useless in the kitchen, so it'd be so embarrassing if I messed up. "Come on, Zein. There's no harm in trying." He pulled me over, so I had no choice but to pick up the knife. I swallowed hard because I had no idea how to chop. I'd never done this before. It was always Mommy or my sister Allison doing the cooking. I was just the taste-tester. And the eater.
"Just be gentle," he reminded me. And I did. But for some reason, tears suddenly started streaming down my face. Why was this happening? Were these tears of joy? I sniffled but kept chopping. Gentle, Zein. Gentle. But no matter how careful I was, my eyes burned with every slice and the tears just kept coming.
"Pfft." I glanced at Matt when I heard him gasp. His cheeks were puffed out, and he was clearly trying not to burst out laughing. "What?! These are tears of joy. Chopping is actually fun."
He finally lost it and laughed out loud, so I put the knife down and washed my hands. I glared at him as he bent over laughing. Meanwhile, I was holding myself back from throwing the chopped onions at him. What the hell was so funny?!
"Tears of joy?" he managed to say through his laughter. "That's just how onions are. They're like love—they make you cry!"
The other four arrived, and Matt quickly told them all about my encounter with onions. I just stood there with a poker face while everyone else practically died laughing. Seriously?! "Tears of joy," Dave and Jerome teased, while Vanessa made fun of my onions, saying they were way too thick. She said it looked like I only sliced the onion three times.
"I'll learn how to cook! You'll see," I boasted, even though I had zero interest in cooking. This was all Matthew's fault! Whatever happened to "just try"?! He knew I was a newbie in the kitchen, but what did he do? He laughed at me. Whatever, Matt.
After we finished eating, which took about an hour, we headed to our room. "Meow." I almost shrieked when Hoy licked my foot. I laughed, picked the cat up, and put it on our bed.
"Hey! That cat might have lice," Vanessa warned.
Mia squealed in excitement while squeezing the cat's cheeks. "Hoy's so, so cute!" The cat, in return, just stared at her blankly, powerless to stop her. I slapped Mia's hand away. "Animal harassment," I said, worried the cat might be hurting.
"You literally smacked him earlier," Vanessa chimed in.
"And you hit him with a broom!"
Poor Hoy. Abused in this dorm. These girls were such sadists. I suddenly remembered my moment with Ace. I still couldn't believe he was afraid of cats. And remembering the events that followed... made me blush. I was basically stuck to the floor when he counted to three, so he easily scooped me up. Then he had the nerve to put me down and demanded that I massage his shoulders! I even had to go with him to the restroom so he could change his pants! But I couldn't fight back. He used his famous line on me: "This is an order from the highest Supreme Student Government, and you can't do anything about it."
Vanessa, Mia, and I stopped goofing around when Hoy suddenly jumped off the bed and ran out of the dorm. I quickly threw on some shoes to follow the cat. Hoy wasn't running that fast, so I was able to keep up, but I stopped when I realized where we were headed. The back of HU. The part of the school overrun with thick, tangled greenery. If I remembered correctly, this path led to the place everyone dreaded: the Dark Hell Jail.
I just stood there and watched the black cat disappear into the woods. Then I heard a strange sound from within. A whistle. Someone was calling Hoy.