Zein's Point of View
Pretending that I was fine to everyone else was hard. Maybe I could make others believe it, but I could never fool myself. There seemed to be a piece of me missing that could never be replaced.
"It's late."
I didn't bother looking back at Matt and poured another drink into my glass instead, downing it in one go. I closed my eyes as the hot liquid burned down my throat. I was about to pour another round when Matt beat me to it. He filled the glass and passed it over. I couldn't help but smile as I took it and downed it. The world started to spin, so I leaned back in my chair. When was the last time I even drank? I felt so warm.
Matt was intently staring at me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. "I'm fine," I assured, sounding like an idiot since he didn't ask. But when he only let out a soft chuckle, I scowled. "What's so funny?"
He shook his head. Honestly, he seemed more drunk than I was. "It's okay to admit that you're not fine. You don't have to fake a smile if you really can't," he said. Matt poured another glass, but this time, he downed it. He didn't flinch, keeping his eyes locked on mine until the last drop.
Observing him made me realize that I wasn't the only one hurting. Every time I was in pain because of Supremo, he was hurting too. "He's lucky to have you. So, so lucky," he began. "I'm jealous."
"M-Matt."
"Shhhh. I'm okay."
My lips trembled seeing him put up the same act I was doing earlier. I had no idea how Matt managed to push through the pain I caused him. But the love he was giving me, I just couldn't give it back. He poured another drink and handed it to me. I gave a bitter smile before drinking, wincing as my vision blurred.
"I know you're in pain right now," he said. "If only I could do something, I would gladly take it all."
"I can't love you the way you love me."
He forced a smile. "You have no idea how many times I denied this feeling, Zein. How many times I tried to stop it. But it just keeps growing... until now." The corners of his eyes turned red. Fuck, I had hurt so many people. "But... why didn't you fight for me?"
"This isn't a game where you're the prize. You have your own decisions in life, and I don't want you to choose between him and me. Zein, it's been clear to me from the very start."
Damn, Matthew Hart. If I hadn't met Ace, I'd probably be with him right now, but that wasn't how it went. Fate played us. Brutally. "Go to sleep," he said before cleaning the table. I couldn't stop myself from standing up and giving him a tight hug.
"Matt. You'll find someone better than me. You deserve a love that doesn't just return yours, but exceeds it in every way."
"Is there even another Zein Shion in this world?" he joked.
"There isn't. But there's someone better than Zein Shion."
The next day, I spotted Sir Alvarez and rushed over to him. We went to his office, and I told him everything I had found out. I didn't know how to feel about his sudden silence.
"We're too late..." he said. "They already have the formula. Sooner or later... it'll be complete. There's nothing we can do."
"So... we're just going to let them win?"
"Listen," he said deeply. "I want you to stop what you are doing. I don't want anything bad to happen to you because of me. I couldn't forgive myself."
There was real sincerity in his voice, but I needed courage, not just safety. "Sir... please let me help. I'm begging you."
He pulled me into a hug. It made me miss my family so much. I didn't want to die yet. I wanted to see Mommy and Allison again. "Zein... it's risky," he whispered. "Please... let it go."
I quickly pulled away. "If you're giving up, I'm not. If you don't want to do this anymore, I'll do it alone. Too late? We're just getting started." I turned my back on him and walked toward the admins' office.
Suddenly, someone grabbed my arm. Fear rushed through me, but I let him pull me along to a secluded, overgrown part of HU. The person standing there was the leader of the DGW: Raze Silvenia. He wore a red mask with one red eye visible.
"If you want to die, just say the word. I'll grant your wish right here... right now, darling."
Goosebumps ran down my skin. "Don't you dare..." I gritted my teeth.
"What?" He chuckled. "Tell me, darling, what's wrong? Does it hurt to hear that word? He is miserable right now. I know you are too. You gave up so easily. You know why? Because you didn't really love him."
"Who the hell are you to doubt my feelings for him?" I asked. "Everything he has means nothing to him if he doesn't have the girl he loves."
"Please... stop." I gasped for air.
I turned to run, but his arms wrapped around me. For a second, it felt like Supremo was holding me. "Supremo has a message, by the way. Want to hear it?"
"T-tell me," I whispered.
He let me go and turned his back to me. "Why would I tell you? He's nothing to you anymore, right?"
"Fine. Just tell him to take care of himself. And to forget about me—"
My eyes widened when he suddenly lifted his mask and kissed the corner of my mouth. I was so shocked I couldn't move.
"Darling, please come back..." he whispered. "That's what Supremo said."
Then he winked at me before vanishing. What the hell?