While Viktor was still marveling at the unicorn's utterly alien sense of taste, Tom—now freshly dried and fluffed—trotted over curiously.
He circled the miniature unicorn version of Viktor, sniffing and inspecting from every angle with wide, fascinated eyes.
The little unicorn foals nearby were just as curious about Tom.
They'd met him over the summer, but this was their first time seeing him fly in (and crash spectacularly).
One foal tilted its head, looked from Tom to Viktor, then gently poked Tom with its soft little horn-nub.
Tom turned, confused.
"Sniff sniff—whinny whinny!"
"Mrow—mrow mrow mrow!"
"..."
After a completely mismatched round of cat-horse charades,
Tom glared at the foal in disbelief.
He pointed at Viktor, pointed at himself, then gave a huge thumbs-up.
After circling Viktor one more time for inspection, he reached up and started kneading his own face like dough.
When he finished, he struck a proud pose and looked expectantly at the foals.
They burst into merciless baby-unicorn laughter.
Tom—furious—slapped Viktor's leg (who was still thoughtfully chewing oak bark and comparing its flavor profile to something else).
Viktor turned, saw Tom's face, and immediately snorted so hard he sprayed half-chewed bark straight onto Tom's already rodent-like features.
With a casual flick of magic, a perfect water sphere appeared in front of Tom like a mirror.
Tom stared at his reflection—currently sporting full "rat face" mode—and froze.
Then he frantically started kneading again.
This time the result was… distinctly rabbit-like.
After checking the water mirror, he kneaded once more.
Third attempt: much closer. Seven-tenths unicorn, maybe.
(From Viktor's perspective it looked more like a donkey, but whatever.)
The foals, who had never seen anything like this, were instantly impressed.
They started prancing in excited circles around Tom, treating him like their new big brother and undisputed leader.
Viktor watched Tom seamlessly integrate into the baby unicorn herd with a donkey face and just shook his head in fond exasperation.
Then he went right back to his leisurely tasting tour—one bite of this plant, one nibble of that shrub.
...
Afternoon sunlight filtered warmly through the Forbidden Forest.
Viktor—now full and satisfied—headed toward the forest's edge with Tom trotting proudly beside him, now officially adopted as "big bro" by the entire foal herd.
As he walked, Viktor mentally reviewed the afternoon's flavors and sighed contentedly.
"Being an elective professor really is the dream job. Light workload, good pay, great benefits, respected, early knock-off… and Hogwarts even throws in a treasure of a Forbidden Forest."
"Once we help Dumbledore finish off Voldemort for good, staying on as a professor here doesn't sound half bad."
"Teach a few classes, watch the kids get up to mischief, grab drinks with colleagues on weekends, visit Grandpa and Grandma, then travel the world during summer and winter breaks."
"Oh—speaking of which, my little brother Rolf is eleven this year. Wonder how he's doing at Ilvermorny? Should drop by and check on him, Mum, and Dad when I get the chance."
"Mum and Dad are ridiculous. The second they saw me and Grandpa both drop out of Hogwarts, they swore Rolf would never set foot there."
"I'm a Hogwarts professor now! With me watching over him, how could he possibly fail to graduate?"
"Dad's an Auror, Mum's in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, and they've still got the big farm to run. Busy people. Hope they can actually keep an eye on Rolf…"
Lost in thought, Viktor and Tom reached the forest's outer edge.
Suddenly Viktor's eyebrow twitched. Without turning his head, he flicked a casual glance toward a nearby clump of bushes.
Then—snap—he flicked his fingers.
At the exact same moment, Tom pounced like lightning.
Two startled yelps rang out. The bushes shook violently.
A moment later, a single rolling "human ball"—two redheads tightly wrapped in vines by some mysterious cat magic—tumbled out and landed at Viktor's feet.
"Ow! Tom—Tom, Teaching Assistant, easy! My head hit a rock!"
"Hey, George! Get your elbow out of my ribs!"
Viktor looked down at the two-headed, two-tuft-of-red-hair ball and slowly lifted a hand to cover his face.
Seriously?
He knew the Weasleys were a big family, but this was ridiculous.
Term had barely started—one day—and the little redheads were already popping up everywhere.
First Ron when he went to pick up Harley.
Now these two.
That made four out of the five Weasley kids at Hogwarts… in less than forty-eight hours.
The twins—still tangled—looked up at Viktor's facepalm and grinned shamelessly.
"Dear Professor Viktor!"
"Would you believe us if we said we got lost?"
Viktor raised an eyebrow at their cheeky smiles.
He didn't tell Tom to untangle them just yet.
"Lost? On purpose or by accident? Come on—why are you two really in the Forbidden Forest?"
"Oh, dear Professor Viktor!"
"We really did get lost by accident!"
"First day of term—such beautiful weather!"
"We came to visit Hagrid."
"Then—oops—got a bit turned around."
Watching them finish each other's sentences in perfect sync, Viktor gave them his kindest, most gentle smile.
"Not going to tell me? Fine. In that case, I'll just have Teaching Assistant Tom roll you two straight back to the castle like this…"
He paused, noticing their eyes suddenly light up at the word "cool."
Then he continued, voice dropping to a soft, demonic purr.
"…and leave you right outside Professor Snape's office door."
"Don't worry—I promise I won't write 'Caught Trespassing in the Forbidden Forest' across your foreheads in permanent marker."
The twins' faces drained of color in perfect unison.
Merlin's soggy socks—how is there a punishment this evil?
Rolling the two most notorious Gryffindor troublemakers straight to Snape's doorstep—still bundled like a present—with their crime scrawled on their foreheads?
Nothing in the world could be more brutal.
Gryffindor would become Gryff-findor on day one.
And they'd be facing a very limited-edition, nuclear-level angry McGonagall… plus detention for approximately eternity.
The twins gulped in stereo.
Viktor just smiled wider.
Some lessons were best learned the hard way.
And some twins were about to learn them very, very soon.