Chapter 85: Yu Xiaogang Accepts a Disciple. As Your Teacher, I'll Take You to Hunt a Ferocious Beast and Obtain a Soul Ring!
Immediately afterward, an uncontrollable torrent suddenly burst out from his lower body!
"Gurgle…"
"Pfft—"
"Uh? Ah!!!"
Very quickly, sensing something was wrong with his body, Yu Xiaogang's expression changed instantly. His entire face turned green, and even his facial features twisted together.
The reason was simple. The grass he had swallowed earlier was not some immortal herb, as he believed. Instead, it was a type of rotten grass extremely common in the Perfect World, something even wild beasts would refuse to eat.
Although it contained a trace of spiritual energy, it naturally carried both hallucinogenic and powerful laxative effects.
"My stomach… it hurts…"
"Urgh—"
Soon, Yu Xiaogang collapsed to his knees as the poison took effect, vomiting and suffering violent diarrhea.
Not only that, his entire body began swelling at a speed visible to the naked eye.
In just a short moment, Yu Xiaogang's face had swollen into something resembling a purple pig's head.
His already small eyes were squeezed into thin slits, while his lips looked like two sausages stacked together.
But that was not the most terrifying part. The most terrifying part was that the toxin had reached his brain.
"Hehe… heheh…"
Yu Xiaogang, who had just soiled himself, suddenly stopped wailing. A foolish smile gradually spread across his face.
Then he staggered to his feet and mistook a crooked, dead tree in front of him for the person he longed for day and night.
"Erlong… is that you, Erlong?"
Yu Xiaogang walked over affectionately, then hugged the dead tree tightly and began rubbing against the rough bark like a madman. Tears streamed down his pig-like, swollen face.
"Erlong, I love you, Erlong!"
"Even though I'm a useless man, even though I ran away from our marriage."
"But you're the only one in my heart, Erlong!"
"Come, kiss me. Muah~"
As soon as the words fell, Yu Xiaogang puckered his swollen, sausage-like lips and planted a fierce kiss on the worm-eaten tree trunk, right in front of the entire Douluo Continent.
Not far away, several young herb gatherers who happened to pass by saw this scene. Their faces changed in fright, and they immediately covered their eyes and ran away.
"Mother! A pig demon is assaulting a tree!"
"That's disgusting!"
…
At the same time, outside the Sky Screen.
Douluo Continent, Shrek Academy.
Watching the scene of Yu Xiaogang hugging a dead tree and crazily gnawing on it, his face swollen into a pig's head, Liu Erlong froze completely on the spot.
"Xiaogang… you…"
Her whole body stiffened as she watched the scene, feeling both disbelief and unbearable embarrassment.
Especially when she noticed the large wet stain around his crotch, she felt a wave of disgust and nausea.
Finally, seeing that Yu Xiaogang on the sky screen was still groping the tree and even doing push-ups against it, Liu Erlong let out a sharp scream. Her eyes rolled back, and she fainted from anger.
Beside her, Zhao Wuji hurriedly caught her.
Then he looked up at the Sky Screen, where Yu Xiaogang was still moving enthusiastically, and felt his old face turn bright red with shame. He wished he could find a crack in the ground to hide in.
"H-how am I supposed to tell people this is my brother in the future?"
"This is social death!"
…
Meanwhile, on the Sky Screen.
Perfect World, Upper Realm.
Just as Yu Xiaogang was hugging the big tree and preparing to change positions to continue his "reproduction attempt"—
"Smack!"
A worn straw sandal suddenly flew through the air and slapped the back of his head.
"Where did this lunatic come from?"
"Doing something like this in broad daylight. It's hurting my eyes!"
The next moment, a middle-aged traveling doctor walked over with a disgusted expression. He carried a medicine basket on his back, wore coarse linen clothes, and was barefoot.
Looking at Yu Xiaogang, who was still twitching, the doctor shook his head helplessly.
He casually took out a dark pill from the basket, something that looked like a sheep dropping, and stuffed it directly into Yu Xiaogang's mouth.
Then he slapped Yu Xiaogang on the back, forcing him to swallow it.
"Cough! Cough, cough!"
As the pill entered his stomach, a cool sensation instantly spread through his body, dispersing the poison within him.
When the hallucinations faded from Yu Xiaogang's eyes, he stared blankly at the dead tree soaked with his saliva.
Then he looked at his swollen hands and the doctor, who was staring at him like he was an idiot.
"I… what just happened?"
"Hmph. Finally awake?"
Seeing that he had regained consciousness, the doctor curled his lips and said with clear disdain:
"You've lived so long only to live like a dog?"
"That was rotten grass. Even a three-year-old child here knows it's poison used to fumigate rats. And you dared to eat it raw?"
"I think you weren't trying to cultivate. You were trying to turn yourself into a dried corpse from diarrhea."
"P-poison grass?"
Hearing this, Yu Xiaogang felt as if he had been struck by lightning. He stared in disbelief at the rustic doctor, who was still scolding him.
Could it be that his Ten Core Competencies of the Perfect World had a flaw?
No problem. Now there isn't.
Yu Xiaogang suddenly nodded proudly. He thought that discovering rotten grass was actually a major step forward for his theory.
"Alright, stop spacing out."
Seeing his smug expression, the doctor waved his hand impatiently.
"That pill I gave you was a Qingxin Pill. It's only low-grade, but the medicinal power inside is more than enough for your trash body to digest for a while."
"You're lucky you ran into me when I'm in a good mood today."
After saying that, the doctor lifted his medicine basket again and walked away without looking back.
Meanwhile, Yu Xiaogang sat there blankly, feeling the medicinal power of the pill dissolve within his body.
Although the pill was only low-grade, to someone from the Douluo Continent, it was practically a divine elixir.
Rank 31… Rank 32… Rank 35…
In just half a quarter of an hour, Yu Xiaogang's soul power shot all the way up to Rank 38!
Even the heavy pressure that had been suffocating him seemed to lighten. He could now circulate his soul power and move a little.
"Rank 38. I really am a genius!"
Feeling the powerful soul power within his body, Yu Xiaogang clenched his fist excitedly. The swelling on his pig-like face had reduced slightly, but the obsessive madness in his eyes had grown even stronger.
"Hmph. Quack doctor, what do you know?"
"If I hadn't eaten that grass first and fought poison with poison, how could your pill have such miraculous effects?"
"My theory still worked!"
After saying this, he turned to look at Luo Sanpao lying beside his feet, which still looked exactly the same and was even rolling its eyes.
A deep disgust flashed in Yu Xiaogang's eyes.
"Trash! I've already reached Rank 38, yet you're still just a pig!"
"Not even the slightest evolution!"
"It proves my theory was correct. Only trash martial souls produce trash!"
With that, Yu Xiaogang kicked Luo Sanpao away, forcibly recalled it back into his body, and slowly stood up.
Then his gaze turned cold as he looked into the distance.
End of Chapter