MO RAN STOOD UNMOVING, the shock going through him like a lightning strike. No way, no way… What was Shi Mei saying? What was Shi Mei doing? What the hell was going on?!
He was flabbergasted. It didn't seem real that Shi Mei had just kissed Chu Wanning—the sight was so horrifying he wondered if he'd hallucinated it. He brought a hand to his forehead, temples throbbing. Shi Mei's gentle smile from years ago flashed through his mind; he could almost hear him call out softly: A-Ran. But the man before him… He was actually…
All the hairs rose on Mo Ran's neck.
The one Shi Mei loved…was Shizun? But how?
Shi Mei had never shown any signs of having feelings for their shizun; it would be more believable if Xue Meng confessed he had a crush on Chu Wanning. How could Shi Mei be in love with him? He was polite and respectful, and hardly ever said a word more than necessary to Chu Wanning, much less clung to him or sought his attention. As soon as class ended, as soon as he finished his tasks, he promptly and properly took his leave…
How?!
Shi Mei straightened up. He cast a glance at Mo Ran and laughed softly. "I seem to have caused someone quite a fright."
"You're…completely…crazy…"
"Crazy?" Shi Mei's tone was conversational. "My dear shidi, you're calling me crazy? Was I the one who left Shizun in this sorry state?"
Mo Ran flushed with shame, his eyes swimming with fury and bewilderment. If it had been anyone else, he would've lunged at them without holding back. But the person who stood before him now was Shi Mingjing—the man he thought he'd loved for two lifetimes. All the words he wanted to say were stuck in his throat.
"To be fair, it's not like I've never done anything crazy," Shi Mei continued, unabashed. "For instance, pretending I returned your feelings, being nice to you for so many years. When you used Jiangui to interrogate me all those years ago, I even resisted the pain and lied through my teeth to say…I like you." He paused, eyes shining with ridicule. "Be serious. If I'd actually fallen in love with someone like you, with no merits besides a pretty face, I might as well gouge out my own eyes and die."
Met with Mo Ran's stunned silence, Shi Mei asked, "Why so quiet—are you upset?"
His was a beauty that could topple nations—even his sneer was a sight to behold. He shot Mo Ran another sidelong glance before reaching out to stroke Chu Wanning's chin.
Dizzy with rage, Mo Ran moved to summon Jiangui. But there was only a faint scarlet flash in his palm before his spiritual energy sputtered out.
Shi Mei didn't look up. "Don't waste your effort. The past life's Wanning used half his earth soul to uproot this flower for you. His plan succeeded: I'll never be able to control you again. But you'll need at least ten days of rest before you can access your spiritual energy. Trying to fight me now would be foolish."
"Who are you calling Wanning!"
"So you're allowed to take advantage of Shizun like this, but I'm not allowed to simply cherish him? It's hardly fair."
"You—!"
"You've had him so many times." Shi Mei laughed softly. "It's time for me to have a turn. In truth, I do think it's rather beneath me to fuck your secondhand goods. But I'll bear it for his sake."
Mo Ran had no holy weapon, yet he was so angry he started forward, fists raised.
"Ah… You know, there's nothing I despise more than an uncultured thug like you."
Shi Mei released Chu Wanning to block Mo Ran's blows. On the dim walls of the cave, the two men's long shadows flickered and swayed like dueling dragons spitting flames. Shi Mei had never been much of a fighter, and he knew he was no match for Mo Ran hand-to-hand. A flourish of his sleeve sent several spiritual snakes slithering out to bind Mo Ran in place. In that window of opportunity, Shi Mei leapt aside, gathered Chu Wanning in his arms, and dashed toward the mouth of the cave.
"Shizun!"
Mo Ran struggled free of those cold, scaly snakes and pelted after the other two. But when he burst from the entrance, Shi Mei had already leapt into a tree, the moon bright behind him.
"Don't bother," he said, smiling. "You've only just come to. You wouldn't be able to catch me if you killed yourself trying."
"Shi Mingjing, why… Why are you doing this?!"
"A-Ran," said Shi Mei, still smiling, "don't you know how much your shige hates the names Shi Mei and Shi Mingjing?"
Mo Ran blinked in confusion.
"If you don't mind, call me by my real name from now on."
"…What?"
"This humble one is surnamed Hua, no courtesy name, given name Binan."
Hua Binan?!
Seeing Mo Ran's eyes fly wide, Shi Mei's smile seemed to grow brighter. "Oh yes. As your shixiong, I'll give you an important piece of advice. Don't go to Guyueye—Jiang Xi will tear you apart. And don't try to follow me either. Be good now and go back to Sisheng Peak."
Mo Ran froze, his face drained of color. "What are you going to do to Sisheng Peak?"
"You're not as dumb in this lifetime after all." Shi Mei laughed. "Shige's prepared a little surprise for you. You'll see when you get there."
Mo Ran tasted blood at the back of his throat, and his eyes burned—whether with sorrow or rage, he couldn't have said. "Shi Mei, what are you trying to do?" he bellowed. "What are you plotting?! Didn't you tell me Sisheng Peak was your home? Didn't you tell me…that you owe your life to Uncle? Didn't you tell me we're the most important people to you in the world?!"
By the end, his voice was shaking, hands balled into fists, nails sinking deep into his palms. "Were you lying this whole time? All these years, in two lifetimes—" Mo Ran's voice caught, a bitter cold seeping into his bones. "Have you been scheming all along…for two whole lifetimes?"
Shi Mei said nothing. His wide sleeves fluttered as he stood high in the tree, gazing down at Mo Ran with a faint smile touching his lips. With his peach-blossom eyes curved into gentle crescents and his daintily pointed chin, he looked like a fox spirit amidst the mist-filled mountains.
"You…" The word rattled between Mo Ran's teeth. His thoughts were a hopeless tangle, his eyes wild with desperation. "Shi Mei, say something…"
This man had once consoled Mo Ran beneath the candlelight. They'd later spent so much time together they'd become inseparable.
"Say something!"
Ever since Mo Ran had first met him as a delicate youth, elegant as jade, until the moment he lay in Mo Ran's arms in the snow under the Heavenly Rift, he'd told Mo Ran, Don't hold grudges, don't blame Shizun.
Mo Ran was on the verge of shattering. "But you died… I saw it with my own eyes. I brought your body back to Sisheng Peak. You can't be Shi Mei… How could this be possible…"
"Because you're stupid," that refined voice answered at last, dripping disdain. "You imbeciles only ever cared about developing your spiritual cores and never took the medicinal arts seriously. You, the sect leader…even our wise shizun." Shi Mei laughed. "I misspoke—Shizun isn't an imbecile. But people like you have never shown proper regard for elixirs."
"Elixirs…" Mo Ran mumbled.
"It's difficult indeed to bring a dead person back to life," Shi Mei explained. "But there are plenty of ways to make a living person appear dead."
Had Mo Ran's mind been clear, he would've noticed the gaping hole in Shi Mei's story. Even if a substance existed that could simulate someone's death, Mo Ran had stood guard in Frostsky Hall for a full seven days in the past life, then watched as Shi Mei was lowered into the grave. He'd been laid to rest within three nested coffins, each sealed with longevity nails, then buried beneath a thick layer of dirt. How could any living person escape from such a grave by himself without attracting attention?
There were only two possibilities: One, Shi Mei was lying. Or two, that someone in the past life had snuck into Sisheng Peak's graveyard, opened Shi Mei's grave, and let him out after reversing the effects of that drug.
But Mo Ran was a complete mess. An invisible hand seemed to have scrambled his vital organs; he hadn't the strength to consider these details. When he heard Shi Mei's words, that bloodless, lifeless face swam before his eyes once more—
Shi Mingjing had perished in the flying snow. From that day forward, Mo Ran had felt nothing but hatred. Toward himself, for being weak and helpless, and toward Chu Wanning, for standing aside and doing nothing. From then on, he'd stepped into the abyss, falling into darkness.
How was he to know that it was fake—it was all fake!
On behalf of someone who'd faked his death, Mo Ran had spent the second half of his life as a madman, sinking into mindless obsession. He'd wrought carnage across the land and brought about the death of the man who'd loved him more than anyone.
Absurd. It was utterly absurd!
Rage and anguish stabbed through him, his scalp prickling and his pupils contracting. "How…how can you live with yourself?!" he roared savagely.
"Oh, I have no trouble with that," Shi Mei said with a smile. "How can you live with yourself, Emperor Taxian-jun?"
These words might as well have grabbed Mo Ran by the throat.
"No matter the reason you had for picking up the knife—whether out of resentment or unhappiness—your hands are covered in blood." Shi Mei tightened his hold on the unconscious Chu Wanning, as if flaunting his spoils of war. "Do you really think the blood-soaked hands of the Emperor Taxian-jun are fit to hold those of the immaculate Beidou Immortal?"
The last bit of color drained from Mo Ran's face.
Shi Mei knew his weakness exactly, injecting venom into tender flesh like the sting of a scorpion. He narrowed his eyes dangerously, his gaze finely honed. "Don't tell me you think you're worthy. Wouldn't you agree that you're too dirty? You're a thief."
The wind stirred the branches, and the lambent moon emerged from behind the clouds. Shi Mei's smile never faltered, but every word drew blood like a sharp blade. "Taxian-jun, every day you ever spent with him was stolen. You know better than anyone what scum you are. Surely I don't need to elaborate."
Mo Ran's lips were gray. Rage, sorrow, fear, regret, guilt, unbearable grief—no one could contain so many emotions without succumbing to insanity. "I…"
"Well, that's enough." Shi Mei heaved a long-suffering sigh. "What's the point? Did you really think spending a few years as Mo-zongshi, saving a couple of lives, would be enough to write off all of your sins?" Staring at Mo Ran's face, he laughed softly. "Please."
Mo Ran couldn't speak.
"Shizun has his memories from the past life now. He'll remember everything, all the monstrous things you did—the people you killed, the cities you slaughtered. He'll remember how you wronged him, how you destroyed the sect; he'll remember all the ways you broke his heart." Shi Mei paused, scrutinizing Mo Ran's expression. "Mo-zongshi, it's time to lower your head." He grinned. "Might as well confess to your crimes now and be done with it."
Lower your head. Confess to your crimes…
A lifetime of madness, of untold savagery—none of it justified.
Mo Ran's throat bobbed. He fixed scarlet eyes on the man in the tree, but as soon as he caught sight of Chu Wanning, limp in his arms, an uncontrollable anguish welled up in him. His gaze shrank back and withered, like a dry blade of grass. He jerked his head aside.
"Think about it. Once he wakes up and realizes how long you've been lying to him…how angry will he be?" Shi Mei stroked Chu Wanning's face, running a delicate finger over the corner of his mouth. "You know Shizun's temper—do you imagine he'll forgive you?"
Shi Mei spoke with deliberate malice, and Mo Ran felt like he'd fallen into an icy crevasse.
Forgive him?
Mo Ran's wishes had never been extravagant. Yet he'd always hoped his trial might never come; he'd never dared to think what this day might be like when it arrived. He squeezed his eyes shut, lashes quivering.
Shi Mei's voice was cool and ethereal over the hazy peaks and valleys, like a deity commanding a mortal to seek repentance. "Give up and go back to Sisheng Peak. When you get there, you'll find the surprise I've left for you." His words seemed to swirl around Mo Ran and echo in his ears. "Try to enjoy it; don't put up too much of a fight."
Then, as if something else had occurred to him, Shi Mei paused, fixing his peach-blossom eyes on Mo Ran standing below. "Besides, A-Ran, the two of us are not the same. You could never understand what I want." His tone was mild, no different than when he'd asked Mo Ran if the wontons were good, if there was enough chili oil. "I'm not as ruthless as you are; I wouldn't hurt my friends so rashly. But…" Shi Mei let his voice trail off.
Mo Ran's head jerked up. "What are you going to do?!"
Seeing Mo Ran's gaze flit over to Chu Wanning again, Shi Mei laughed. "Don't worry. I'll look after Shizun; I'd never hurt him. I know better than you how to cherish someone as pure and pristine as him." Every word was soaked in syrupy sweetness.
Mo Ran trembled from head to toe. If he'd had his spiritual energy, he would've long since torn Shi Mei limb from limb. But his spiritual energy was depleted, and Shi Mei knew he could do whatever he pleased.
Shi Mei snickered. "But as for my sectmates at Sisheng Peak, Aunt and Uncle…and the young master." Eyes gleaming, he said carefully, "If you don't deal with my surprise properly, I fear you'll bring about their deaths a second time. Consider this—if Shizun wakes up and finds out you let everyone die, that you put yourself first again, do you think he'll ever spare you another glance?"