We stopped at the store on the way home, Dad planning to whip up Mom's favorite food: pineapple jerk chicken, with strawberry cheesecake and Oreo ice cream.
Once home, we were busy getting everything ready, hoping Mom might change her mind from ripping our souls out and removing us from existence.
Dad was outside firebending like Prince Zuko in Avatar — literally fanning the fire as if his life depended on it. And it did, because we had exactly one hour, forty-two minutes, and twenty seconds before Mom's shift ended. Knowing how pissed she was, she probably signed a deal with the Fast & Furious franchise to make her car fly instead of drive.
Inside, Renae had me on cheesecake duty. Correction: she was bossing me around while I tried not to screw it up.
"Combine the graham cracker crumbs and sugar, stir in the melted butter. Press the mixture into the pan, high up the sides — prevents cracks. Set aside while we prep the filling."
"Yes, Boss!" I saluted, working quickly while she beat cream cheese and sugar until smooth, adding sour cream, vanilla, and eggs with professional speed. She definitely inherited Dad's cooking skills.
I finished my task, only for her to snatch it from me and slide the filling into the crust. Into the oven it went: 325°F, forty-five minutes.
"Chop season now! Onion, Scotch bonnet, everything! Go, soldier!" Renae barked.
"Yes, Boss!" I yelled again, flying to the fridge, tossing ingredients onto the counter. I was slicing with pride when Julian walked in smelling like smoke, grabbed my cutting board, and dumped everything into the blender. My art — murdered.
"You murderer!" I fake-fainted dramatically. Julian blinked, confused, while Renae raised a brow.
Then water droplets hit my face. I shot up to see Julian spraying me with the sink hose.
"Oh look, Renae, she's blossoming! Any new leaves?" he teased.
"How could you?" I gasped.
"Killing your children? Someone has to eat them. Their sacrifice makes our chicken flavorful. Their death is not in vain!" He went full hero monologue, like a soldier motivating troops before battle.
"Monster," I groaned, watching him pour the blend over the chicken with jerk seasoning. Renae tapped my lips.
"Tasty," I whispered, amused.
"You cannibal," Julian clutched his chest dramatically.
"Somebody's gotta eat them," I winked, strutting off like a champ.
We grilled the chicken outside, cooled the cheesecake, cleaned the kitchen. Renae made strawberry topping while I tucked the cake into the fridge.
"I'll set the table, bathe, and recite the best apology ever to sweep Mom off her feet," I said sweetly.
"You do that. I'll finish here, bathe, and pray this saves our lives," Renae laughed nervously.
I hugged her, then went to set the dining table — candles lit, everything neat. Satisfied, I headed upstairs. In my room, I turned on the shower, undressed, and collapsed on the pink couch, half-asleep.
"Vee."
I jolted upright, bleary-eyed. Renae stood there in pink bunny pajamas and fluffy slippers. She dropped matching slippers and PJs in my lap, smirking.
"If we go down, we go together," she sang, swinging her hips.
"At least we die pink," I joked.
"Yeah, we go down together," she hummed, closing the door. I giggled at her stupidity, then showered, moisturized, and pulled on the outfit.
"Giiiirrrrllllsss…Juliiiaaannnnnnn!" Mom's furious voice ripped through the house. The sound of death.
At the staircase, Renae and Julian froze like snakes were coiled below.
"Who's going first?" Renae whispered.
"Ladies first," Julian said, panic in his laugh.
"Men go to war," Renae shot back.
"Don't make me come up those stairs!" Mom roared.
"Women fought for equality, now get with it," Julian snapped, half-joking, half-terrified.
Then Mom appeared at the bottom, hands on hips, face tired but blazing.
"Babyyyy—"
"Don't you 'baby' me. Down here. NOW!" she barked.
Julian panicked, kicked Renae down the steps, then looked at me.
"I can walk, thanks," I said, marching dramatically.
But Julian dove over the railing mid-step, landed smooth, and bolted like his ass was on fire.
"Unbelievable! Julian!" Mom screamed after him.
Renae and I shared one brain cell, slipped past her, and ran. Out the door, no brakes, skidding around corners, collapsing in the backyard.
"That was close," I panted.
"Yeah, it was," a voice said.
We screamed. Julian popped out of the shadows, shushing us.
"Shhh."
Renae smacked him. "Don't shhh me!"
"You left us!" I hissed.
"It's every man for himself, darling," Julian said innocently.
We both gave him a very distasteful look of disapproval, but Julian wasn't affected. He only smiled cheekily.
Soon we were crouched over bushes, peeping into the house, but there was absolutely no movement. Sneaking back through the kitchen door, Renae and I tiptoed, stopping in our tracks when we heard glass clinking from the dining room.
Nodding at each other, we crept forward, slowly opening the door to peek inside. Anika was sitting by herself with a half-empty wine glass, a bottle of red in front of her, deep in thought.
"Are you two planning on holding up the hinges on the door all night, or are you going to come and sit down?" Anika said, taking a sip of wine.
We shoved at each other, trying to force the other one in first. Then Julian appeared behind us like a ninja, balancing two trays. He kicked both our butts lightly, sending us flying through the door flat on our faces. He stepped over us and set the food on the table: pineapple jerk chicken, seasoned rice, and a big bowl of salad.
"We made your favourite… don't want you killing us on an empty stomach," Julian said sweetly, with that innocent-joke tone.
"And we made homemade strawberry cheesecake, and Oreo ice cream is in the fridge," Renae blurted in one breath, pushing herself off the floor and yanking me up by the neck of my PJs like I was nothing.
"Sit down," Anika ordered politely.
We nodded and obeyed. Julian served, then sat.
"I had a rough day. All I wanted was food, wine, and you two telling me how amazing your day was — the advisor, the experience. Instead, I got a surprise. Why was that?" she asked, gripping her glass dangerously calm.
"I lost my temper, okay… a student targeted Vee and I lost it," Renae confessed.
"With your hands, or something else?" Anika asked.
"With a fire extinguisher," Renae whispered, covering her mouth, eyes down.
"How many times have I told you to control your anger?" Anika sighed, finally releasing the glass.
"Hold up…" Julian interrupted, mouth full, hands raised. He swallowed, wiped his lips, and leaned forward.
"Are we not gonna acknowledge the cow in the room?" he asked.
"What cow?" Anika shot back.
"You," Julian said.
"Are you calling me fat?" Anika snapped.
"Yes."
"Excuse me, Julian?" she turned sharply.
"I mean NO—fuck, Anika, stop twisting me!" Julian blurted, defensive.
"You have two seconds to correct that," Anika warned.
"Babe, your anger — like now — it's through the roof. You're talking about control when you have none. You're scolding our daughter when she's literally you, just with my crazy personality. Yeah, what she did wasn't right, but if you'd seen that other student's behavior… I agree with Renae knocking her out. Not saying she should've, but I get it," Julian said firmly.
"Are you saying this is my fault?" Anika asked.
Renae and I stuffed our faces, pretending not to exist.
"It's our fault. It's our child. You keep scolding her for anger you carry yourself. Mother like daughter, baby. You want her to work on it? You need to as well. Lead by example. Deal?" Julian said, standing, hand out.
Anika sighed, leaning back. "As long as they don't get any more problems."
"Deal," Renae and I answered in unison.
"I'm still waiting on my deal," Julian pressed.
"Fine," Anika giggled, reaching for his hand. He pulled her up, kissed her passionately.
"Daaaaddd… ewww," Renae groaned, fake vomiting.
They pulled away, foreheads touching, whispering I love you. My heart flipped — imperfect, but pure love.
Back at the table, I smiled like a kid. Renae bumped my shoulder playfully.
"We aren't dead after all," she whispered.
"It's the PJs. Good luck charms," I laughed.
"Okay, now dive in. Tell me about your day," Julian said, clapping.
"This is amazing as always. Can't wait for dessert," Anika said, genuinely happy.
"You're gonna love it. Vee and I put our feet in it," Renae boasted.
The evening shifted — food, laughter, stories. Julian winked at us like a victory signal. Without him, this could've gone either way.
"So am I really fat?" Anika asked suddenly.
"If I say yes, will you be mad?" Julian teased.
"Noooo."
"I mean yeah… your ass is huge."
"Daaaad…"
"Your tummy parachutes to your knees."
"Daddd…"
"Almost looks like you've got a double chin—"
"Jesus Christ! Dad," Renae and I shouted, shutting him up.
"When God was giving out dumbness, you got it all," I shot back.
Anika was already on her feet, ready to attack.
"And your head looks like Humpty Dumpty," Julian added sweetly, laughing as she chased him. He jolted up, ran in our direction, and pulled us up as human shields.
We all ran into the living room, pillow fighting and laughing.
Finally, Anika caught Dad, locking his head between her thighs, hands pinned.
"Who's fat now? Say you're sorry," she threatened.
"Why, when I can have your thighs in my face all day? My favorite snack," Dad teased.
Stopping in our tracks, Renae and I took the cue to leave the lovebirds alone. Laughing, we slipped into her room, talking late into the night about USC. Another perfect night — one I never wanted to end.