The morning came bright, vibrant, and with a lot ahead. I woke up tired, staring at my phone screen, groaning, wanting to cry as I remembered it was another day, another struggle. Today I had to face my professor, who had promised we'd put what we learned yesterday into a little practice run. Nothing graded, but he wanted us all to show our understanding so far—and lord knows I was crying mentally.
Dragging my ass out of bed lazily, I went to the shower, scrubbing every inch of myself perfectly. Exiting, I walked across the hallway to Renae's room to see if she was awake.
"Ren," I called softly, knocking. When I heard no movement, I opened the door and stepped inside.
She was a sight of pure disorientation—legs sprawled everywhere, one hanging off the bed, hair sticking up like she'd fought a war in her sleep, blanket twisted halfway across the floor. A crazy sight.
Yawning, I walked over and flipped her dangling legs back onto the bed hard. Picking at my nose lazily, I smirked with satisfaction, remembering her tuna saliva on my face one particular morning. My entire body shivered at the memory. Leaning down, I aimed to drop this bad boy right on her lip.
"That is just disgusting," Anika's voice cut in suddenly, frightening the fucking soul out of me. I jumped, half screamed, half wanted to disappear. My chest felt like it had been ripped open, my stomach dropped, and my skin prickled like I'd been caught red‑handed.
"In my defense, mom—" I stammered.
But her face said it all. She stood there with coffee in hand, bags under her eyes, looking like one—or rather all—the elves Santa Claus had been working to death for Christmas. That slave driver motherfucker everyone likes because our parents lied and said he gave presents.
Before I could say more, Renae let out the biggest snore ever, startling both of us. We ignored it, continuing our back and forth.
"Veronica," Anika said, disgust dripping from her tone, "you were really about to put a booger from your nose on her lips? That's nasty as hell."
I threw my hands up. "It's not like I was actually gonna do it!" I lied through my teeth. "I was just messing around. You act like I'm some villain." I laughed, trying not to break character.
"You are a villain if you think that's funny," she shot back, sipping her coffee. "That's not a prank, that's bio‑terrorism."
I groaned, embarrassed, slugging off toward my room but stopped in my tracks because what Anika did next took the show.
Out of nowhere, she launched herself at Renae's bed like a WWE wrestler, coffee cup still in hand, screaming, "Wake the heck up!" She bounced on the mattress, shaking it violently, spilling drops of coffee everywhere.
Renae shot upright, hair sticking in every direction, eyes wide. "What the—" She froze, realizing it was her mom, her brain processing at lightning speed.
"Please tell me the house is burning down?! Is it? Because mom, I love you, but you better have the best explanation for why my dream of me riding a pony was cut short. Elmo was gonna kick Cookie Monster's ass! Please tell me at least Pluto dropped on our house? Because something has gotta have happened to ruin MY BEAUTY SLEEP!!!!"
Anika cackled, completely out of character, like some deranged prankster. "I mean, it's either Veronica's booger kiss waking you up or my coffee quake!"
Renae blinked, fully awake now, face twisting. "What booger?" she asked, looking like she was about to puke.
I grinned wickedly. "It's in your hair, probably got some in your teeth… oh no wait—when you snored it went right down, dancing with your stomach acid."
Each word made her face expression change—confusion, horror, disgust—until she snapped.
"VERONICA! I'm gonna kill you! Literally break you!" she screamed.
I yelled back, laughing. "You started it, tuna morning! Remember? It's payback, you dummy dumb dumb!"
Renae flew off the bed, bolting to the bathroom. I heard the faucet blast open, then the sound of her gargling mouthwash like her life depended on it. She scrubbed her lips with soap, spitting furiously, then stormed back out with a death glare aimed straight at me.
"I'm gonna make sure this is the last day you ever live!" she growled.
Anika stood on the bed, coffee dripping down her clothes, laughing at the scene like it was the best show she'd ever seen.
Renae bolted at me, wild. I laughed too, dashing to my room, struggling to lock the door as she pounded and kicked at it from the other side. My hands shook on the knob, but finally I got a good grip and twisted the lock.
On the other side, Renae raged. "Ooooh Veronica, you better never sleep with this door open, because I'm gonna use my toilet bowl brush and push it down your throat!"
I laughed so hard I nearly fell over. "I would like to see you try!"
"Try? I'll succeed, you little shit!" she shouted, pounding harder.
Julian came up from downstairs, hearing the commotion. He looked at his wife walking out of Renae's room, coffee spilled on her clothes, confusion on his face.
"What the hell happened here?" he asked, stunned, watching her carefully. Even though she looked tired, she was more alive—it was like looking at an angel.
Anika sipped what was left of her coffee, answering innocently. "No clue. Just… morning vibes."
"Really? And you had absolutely no doing in this?" Julian teased, pointing to Renae who was still throwing a full‑on tantrum, kicking at the door.
"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Renae screamed in pain, holding her foot. "Motherfu… Funnel!" she yelled, switching up when she realized her parents were staring into her soul. She turned, hopping and jumping from the pain, then directed everything to her dad, hands flailing.
"Dad! I'm gonna kill her! Her booger—it's in my… you know… DADDDDD!"
Julian shook his head, chuckling, extremely amused. "Nooooo, I don't know. But continue…?"
Renae froze, faking the best fake crying she could, which didn't work. She went back to exploding when she saw her dad trying his hardest to hold his laughter in.
"Go ahead, lauuuggghhhhh… YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!"
"No, my sugar muffin, but right now that water helps with cooling off steam annnnnd your fav breakfast is downstairs waiting," her dad spoke as serious as possible, the laugh almost slipping out but he covered it with a choke.
Renae groaned loudly, shooting him the look. Anika and Julian both shrugged their shoulders, smiling sweetly. Renae glanced at my door one last time, thinking in her head: This is not over, you little big‑head Barney backside. She smirked, closing her door to get ready for her classes at USC.
Julian shook his head after the door closed. "She is your kid for sure," he said, walking over to my door and knocking.
"My kid?" Anika argued back, laughing.
"That's your temper out your womb in human form. My balls aren't even ten percent that fierce. That is your womb," Julian shot back.
"Woooow," Anika chuckled. "Last time I checked, you were both chromosomes." She giggled.
Julian knocked again on my door. "Course clear," he whispered.
I peeked out, sighing. "Pheeeewww, that was close."
Suddenly, Renae's door flew open. She came charging with a curtain rod in hand like a spear, running straight for me like a maniac.
Chaos erupted. Anika was swift enough to snatch the rod from her hands in one clean move—so fast Renae was too stunned to speak. Julian's reflexes kicked in; he wrapped her short ass in his arms, lifting her clean off the ground as she kicked and punched wildly.
Julian laughed, holding her tight. "You're gonna break the house before you break her!"
Renae screamed, thrashing. "Put me down! I swear I'll end her!"
Anika shook her head, looking at the remaining coffee stains on her clothes from her kung‑fu mom moment. "Crazy morning. Just crazy."
Julian carried Renae back to her room, still laughing. "You're like a rabid raccoon, girl. Chill out before I hose you down."
"Dad!" she protested, fists flailing. "Her booger—it's in my soul!"
"Your soul needs breakfast," Julian teased. "Now go bathe… now! Dress—now! Then come eat before you combust."
"Nooo, Dad!" Renae wailed. "I'm gonna kill her!"
Julian grinned. "Kill her after pancakes. Priorities."
Anika added with a smirk, "And bacon. Don't forget bacon."
Renae groaned loudly, glaring at both of them. She looked at my door one last time, growling..
"This is not over, Moroon." She slammed her door shut, finally following instructions.
Taking one final look at Dad and Mom, I smiled and locked myself back in my room, frightened but laughing to myself at how crazy this morning was turning out. I slipped into something floral and pretty, paired with nice sandals.
The noise died down. The house finally cooled, silence settling after the storm.
Assuming everyone was in the kitchen except Renae, I exited cautiously, flying down the stairs, almost having a heart failure when I burst through the door and bucked right into her—already stuffing her face with pancakes.
"Good morning, my dear beautiful sister," I said sweetly.
"I'm beautiful now," Renae replied, smirking like someone with a secret plan.
"C'mon, I was joking… I didn't booger you… not yet at least," I confessed.
Her fork froze mid‑air. "I know mom told… wait—what the heck you mean not yet?" she snapped.
"I never said that. You're hearing doubles. Pancakes?" I backpedaled quickly, grinning, knowing I was going to get her back one way or another.
"Girls, girls, girsl," Anika spoke, breaking us up. "Sit. Eat. Now." She ordered like a drill sergeant.
Julian chuckled, sliding another cup of coffee in front of her. Her clothes had changed, robe fresh and clean, no trace of the earlier coffee stains.
I sat, still smirking, while Renae narrowed her eyes at me over her pancakes.
The atmosphere lightened, laughter bouncing around the kitchen. Anika jingled her car keys, grinning. "Guess what? Day off! Which means I'm chauffeur today."
"And what are you planning to chauffeur… your eye bags?" Julian snapped, laughing, causing her to grudge at him.
"These are VIP eye bags, thank you very much," Anika shot back, drinking her coffee and pulling dramatically on her robe, rolling her eyes at him.
"You preach it, baby… they're with you riding through all the storms… even when you take a shit. What a sight they have going on there… it's astonishing," Julian teased, causing her to throw an apple at him—but he caught it with amazing reflex.
"Getting roasted by your husband on a daily really is something, ain't it," Renae spoke, laughing as she finished up, placing her plate in the sink.
"Baby, the only chauffeur you will be doing is in our bed sleeping. Renae will drive your car with Vee safely," Dad spoke sternly.
Watching her sigh, she gave in, smiling and nodding in agreement.
"Okay, I love you," he cooed, walking over to her, kissing her passionately, then shushing us out the door after we gave Mom kisses, hugs, and wished her a wonderful day. She did the same, following us to the balcony.
Vee and Renae entered her car, reversed, and put it in drive, honking at her. Julian did the same in his car, and Mom stood waving at us like crazy until we were out of her sight. Then she retreated back inside.