Chapter 114
The human body, in its absolute exhaustion, usually craves the blankness of sleep, but the mind of a man who had lived two lives knew that sleep was a luxury.
When Park Jae-wook's dark eyes cracked open against the pale, filtering light of dawn, the first thing he registered was the echoing silence of the master suite. It wasn't the comfortable, domestic quiet of the previous morning, but a hollow stillness that felt heavy with the remnants of their midnight confrontation. He shifted automatically, his large arm reaching across the plush, white duvet to pull Haru back into his chest.
Nothing. Only a hollow, chilled pocket of air where his partner should have been. The side of the bed was cold, not the mild coolness of a recent departure, but the damp, stagnant chill of a space left abandoned hours before the sun had even cleared the southern cliffs.
The sudden absence struck him like a physical blow. Jae-wook sat up instantly, the heavy duvet slipping off his bare, muscular shoulders as his gaze swept the darkened room. The shadows of the early morning distorted the familiar contours of the villa, throwing long, jagged lines across the concrete walls. A minor note of panic, spiked through his veins, tightening his jaw until a muscle twitched beneath his sharp skin.
He forced himself to look closer, his practiced instincts evaluating the space with rapid efficiency. The travel bags were still zipped, sitting undisturbed by the wardrobe; their casual clothes were draped exactly where they had left them the night before. He hadn't left.
Letting out a low, fractured sigh that rumbled through the quiet room, Jae-wook swung his legs out of the bed. The dark hardwood floorboards were cool against his bare feet as he padded out of the master suite.
He stopped dead in his tracks at the threshold of the living room .
The panoramic windows showed a pristine, pearlescent Jeju coastline, but Jae-wook's focus was locked entirely on the darkest corner of the kitchen island. There, illuminated only by the weak, early morning light filtering through the glass, sat Haru. He was perched precariously on a wooden stool, his leg drawn up slightly toward his chest, his dark, obsidian hair disheveled and falling over his eyes.
Surrounding the base of the stool were four bottles of high-end local red wine. Two were entirely drained, their dark glass reflecting the gray light of dawn, while the third sat half-empty next to a heavy crystal wineglass that Haru was clutching faintly.
Jae-wook's heart executed a painful, agonizing squeeze. The sight was a visceral manifestation of the damage his own history had inflicted. The barrier that Haru usually maintained had been completely dissolved, replaced by a raw, messy vulnerability that broke Jae-wook's heart.
He closed the distance between them with slow, deliberate strides, his bare chest heaving slightly in the cool air of the pavilion. Without a word, he reached down and gently but firmly wrapped his large, rough palm around the bowl of the crystal glass, pulling it out of Haru's grip.
The sudden loss of friction made Haru stir in shock. His head snapped up, his pupils dilated and heavy with the heavy fog of alcohol.
"Raiven..." he muttered, his voice dropping into a low, slurred cadence that lacked its usual crisp, rhythmic cadence. A breathless, half-broken smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he blinked against the morning light. "You... you are awake."
The tone was heartbreakingly endearing, completely devoid of the sharp, defensive he had on the balcony hours before. Before Jae-wook could set the glass down on the marble counter, Haru reached out, his long, elegant fingers trembling slightly as he cupped the sharp, defined line of Jae-wook's jaw in his warm palms.
"How do you... how do you look so handsome when you just woke up?" Haru murmured, his thumb brushing lightly against Jae-wook's day-old stubble. He leaned forward, his entire frame tilting off balance as he pressed a soft, lingering, wine-scented kiss directly against Jae-wook's lips. As he pulled back, his eyes clouded over with a sudden, overwhelming wave of sorrow. "I am sorry..."
"For what?" Jae-wook asked softly, his gravelly voice thick with a profound, aching tenderness. He wasn't angry. He couldn't be. Looking down at the disheveled dark hair and the three empty bottles on the floor, he felt nothing but a crushing weight of responsibility. He reached up, his hand settling over Haru's forearms to keep him steady on the low stool as he set the glass aside.
"I just..." Haru ran a hand down his face, letting out a long, heavy sigh that seemed to drain the remaining strength from his shoulders. "I needed to think....."
"I know," Jae-wook murmured, his forehead resting against the crown of Haru's dark head, his silver-white hair catching the faint morning glow.
"I don't want to lose you too," Haru sobbed, his chest heaving under his loose shirt as he turned back to face Jae-wook, the absolute terror of abandonment laid bare in his eyes. He turned his head away, staring blankly at the dark kitchen counter as a single, solitary tear escaped his lashes, running down his flushed cheek. "When I told you... when I told you on that balcony that I gave you my heart... I meant it, Park Jae-wook. I don't give it twice."
"I know," Jae-wook choked out, his own jaw tightening as he felt an acute, piercing ache in his throat. He reached down, his hands anchoring securely on Haru's shoulders. "I know , Haru."
"No, you don't understand, Raiven," Haru countered, his voice cracking as he gripped the fabric of Jae-wook's sweatpants for leverage.
"I love you," Jae-wook stated with a fierce, absolute finality, his strong arms wrapping around Haru's waist to pull him off the stool. "I love you, only you, and nothing is going to happen to us."
He tried to guide Haru toward the master suite, but the moment Haru's feet hit the heated hardwood floor, his knees buckled. He wobbled dangerously, his balance entirely compromised by the five bottles of wine. Jae-wook reacted instantly with fluid caution, catching him effortlessly against his broad chest, his massive frame absorbing the full slack weight.
Haru leaned into the solid heat of Jae-wook's torso, a sudden, wicked glint flickering beneath his heavy eyelids. His fingers slid up the bare skin of Jae-wook's arms, tracing the smooth, defined muscles of his shoulders before tugging him down into his personal space.
"Why don't we... why don't we do it again?" Haru murmured, his voice shifting into a lower, teasing register that vibrated seductively against Jae-wook's neck. A wicked, and entirely defensive glint flickered across his glassy eyes as he shifted his weight against Jae-wook's groin.
"You are drunk," Jae-wook tried to reason, his voice dropping an octave as he exerted maximum self-control, holding Haru still against his chest. "Haru-ya, stop. You need to rest."
"I am not that drunk," Haru slurred defiantly. He used the last of his physical strength to forcefully break out of Jae-wook's possessive hold, trying to stand perfectly straight on his own to prove his point. He managed to balance for a single, fleeting second before his head spun, and he stumbled backward.
Jae-wook was already there. He lunged forward, his large, rough hands grabbing Haru's waist with an iron, grounding grip, pulling him securely back against his body. "We still have the whole day," Jae-wook told him softly, his tone a gentle command as he began to guide Haru back toward the master bedroom. "There is no rush."
"Then tomorrow... tomorrow we go back to reality," Haru murmured, his voice laced with a bitter, profound sadness as he let himself be guided across the pavilion.
"Yes," Jae-wook answered honestly, the weight of Seoul and their respective industry obligations looming heavily in his mind.
"I don't want to waste time," Haru whispered, his head rolling naturally against Jae-wook's shoulder as they entered the bedroom. "I did once... I wasted so much time, and I regretted it so much."
Jae-wook paused, his dark eyes locking onto Haru's serious expression.
"You did?" Jae-wook asked quietly.
He maneuvered them slowly back into the master bedroom, lifting Haru gently and sitting him down on the edge of the plush king-sized bed. He dropped to his knees right in front of him, crashing his massive frame onto the floorboards, his hands resting securely on Haru's knees.
His interest piqued by the sudden, rare reference to Haru's deeply guarded past.
"Yes..." Haru whispered, his eyes instantly sparkling with a fresh sheen of tears. A small, fractured sob escaped his throat, his long fingers blindly clutching at the fabric of Jae-wook's shirt as if searching for a lifeline in the middle of a dark sea. "He... he was called Yeon-woo."
Jae-wook's heart skipped a beat at the mention of the unfamiliar name, but he kept his expression carefully neutral, holding Haru's gaze. "That's a nice name," he offered softly. His thumbs gently tracing the matching black ceramic band on Haru's hand, trying to soothe the tremors racking his frame.
"It was," Haru wept, his entire composure finally shattering as he slowly dropped off the edge of the bed, his upper body collapsing forward onto Jae-wook's broad chest.
Jae-wook didn't move. He held onto him tightly, letting his large hands stroke the length of Haru's spine, letting him pour out a truth that had clearly been locked away behind walls for so long. He wanted to take it all in; he wanted to learn every single shadow that made Haru who he was.
"Did he love you back?" Jae-wook asked softly against the dark strands of Haru's hair.
Haru remained entirely silent, the steady cadence of his breathing replaced by heavy, rhythmic sobs that vibrated against Jae-wook's collarbone. The silence stretched for several agonizing heartbeats before he could force the words out.
"I never... I never got to know," Haru cried, his voice dropping into a thin, hollow whisper that rent the air of the bedroom. The memory of that final, brutal night,the cold room, the scent of copper, and the static silence of a heart that had stopped beating,flooded his consciousness. "He... he is gone. He left me before I could ask."
Haru suddenly pulled back slightly, his long fingers shifting to grip Jae-wook's bare shoulders with terrifying strength. He stared directly into Jae-wook's dark pupils, his lips quivering violently as tears slipped down his flushed cheeks in the pale light.
"Promise me," Haru gasped, his voice cracked and saturated with an absolute, primeval fear that stripped away every ounce of his pride. "Promise me you won't leave me like that. Promise me you won't just disappear."
"Never," Jae-wook said without a fraction of a second of hesitation.
The word exploded from him with an unyielding conviction that matched the gravity of Haru's terror. He lunged forward, pulling Haru into a fierce, suffocating embrace that squeezed the remaining air from his lungs. Haru didn't protest; he pulled Jae-wook closer too, his arms wrapping around his neck, letting himself completely loose in the solid, immovable warmth of the sanctuary they had built.
They stayed like that for a long time, two men anchored to one another on the floorboards of a secluded villa, until the violent sobbing slowly settled into a soft, regular breathing.
Jae-wook shifted slightly, his hands resting on Haru's waist as a sudden, curious thought crossed his mind.
"So..." Jae-wook murmured, his raspy voice dropping into a lower register. "Was he the only guy you fell in love with?"
Haru let out a low, vibrating chuckle that slurred slightly around the edges. He didn't pull away, but he raised his head, his crinkling eyes locking onto Jae-wook's face with a surprising, sharp awareness.
"You are trying to ask... if I am like you?" Haru teased, a bright, genuine smile breaking through the tear stains.
Jae-wook felt a sudden, rare warmth heat up his cheeks and ears. Even completely drunk, even after five bottles of local wine, Haru's observant, razor-sharp mind remained terrifyingly alert. He cleared his throat, his dark eyes flickering away for a split second before returning to Haru's face.
"I dated women before," Haru added, his tone softening into an easy, comfortable rhythm as he leaned his forehead back against Jae-wook's shoulder. "But looking back... looking back,I don't think I loved them the way I should have. Probably why they never lasted very long." He finished the sentence with a small, self-deprecating laugh that echoed softly in the master suite.
"You like both women and men," Haru mused, his fingers sliding up to trace the silver-white strands at the nape of Jae-wook's neck. "For me... I don't really understand these rules of sexuality, Jae-wook. All I know is... when I am with you, my heart raves. I get those ridiculous butterflies, and for the first time in my entire existence... I can actually picture what the future could look like."
He paused, shifting his weight until they were seated fully on the hardwood floor, facing each other directly in the center of the room. Haru's legs were draped on either side of Jae-wook's waist, sitting squarely in the middle of Jae-wook's thighs. Jae-wook's large, rough hands remained on Haru's hips, while Haru held onto his broad shoulders.
"Do you picture it too?" Haru asked, his eyes wide and breathtakingly sincere as he waited for the answer.
"I do," Jae-wook said firmly.
It wasn't a lie designed to soothe a drunk lover. Recently, especially since they had arrived on this isolated island, he had been picturing it more and more. He had spent a decade believing that his global K-pop identity rendered him incapable of normal human connection. But a future with Haru... it looked entirely different. It looked like waking up next to this disheveled, brilliant man every day. Just talking to him, sharing a simple, unhurried breakfast, seemed to ease the crushing weight of his chaotic schedule. Talking to Haru felt liberating.
Haru's features softened into a bright, beautiful smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. He leaned forward, pressing one last, deep, slow kiss against Jae-wook's mouth before slowly untangling his legs.
"Let me... let me rest a bit," Haru murmured, his eyelids growing heavy once more as the massive wave of physical and emotional exhaustion finally converged upon him.
"Before I completely ruin the plans for our last day."
Jae-wook stood up immediately, following Haru's lead as the younger man climbed back onto the plush, king-sized mattress. Moving with incredible, fluid caution, Jae-wook pulled the heavy, white duvet all the way up to Haru's chin, tucking him securely against the cool morning draft.
"We can just stay in," Jae-wook murmured, leaning down to press a soft peck to Haru's forehead.
"But..." Haru pouted softly, his eyes already closing as his frame went entirely slack against the pillows.
"No buts," Jae-wook told him with an affectionate, unyielding certainty. "Rest, Haru-ya."
Jae-wook climbed into the bed beside him, his massive arm instantly sweeping around Haru's midsection, pulling his back flush against his chest in that same possessive, grounding touch. Wrapped in the scent of cedar wood, wine, and the distant, rhythmic thrum of the sea, Haru let out a soft, rhythmic sigh of pure relief, falling into a deep, comfortable nap while Jae-wook watched him.