Chapter 3: Headmaster, I Have No Sympathy for Evil
Dumbledore smiled warmly, clearly pleased that Douglas had finally asked the question he'd been waiting for.
"Merlin's socks," he said lightly, "I must admit, the circumstances were rather amusing."
He leaned back in his chair, folding his hands together.
"Last year, a first-year student brought me a copy of that book and asked me a rather unusual question."
Dumbledore's blue eyes gleamed behind his half-moon spectacles.
"He asked whether I was a great magician."
Douglas blinked.
"And in the process," Dumbledore continued, "I happened to notice the author's name."
"The Banana-Loving Badger."
The twinkle in his eyes became almost mischievous.
Douglas could only sigh inwardly.
The world was truly small.
Who would have expected a Hogwarts student to read magical adventure novels published in the Muggle world?
Even more absurd—
That same student had asked Dumbledore the exact same question Douglas himself had once asked.
Are you a great magician?
Dumbledore took a sip of tea and continued.
"Regardless of whether it is the wizarding edition or the Muggle edition, the theories presented in your books are impressive."
He tapped the cover of one of the novels.
"It is clear that you are not merely inventing nonsense. I experimented with several of the spell concepts myself."
He smiled.
"Some of them actually worked."
Douglas raised an eyebrow.
Dumbledore continued thoughtfully.
"In the wizarding version of your writing, you once stated something that I found particularly interesting."
He quoted from memory.
"Imagination is more important than magic."
"The essence of magic is to change the world from within."
Dumbledore nodded approvingly.
"I agree with those sentiments entirely."
He studied Douglas for a moment.
"I must say, it is difficult to believe that someone could understand such ideas while still a child."
Douglas suddenly realized something.
Perhaps these very ideas were the reason his application had passed the initial screening.
Then Dumbledore changed the subject.
"So tell me, Douglas."
His tone became curious.
"Why did you choose to apply to teach at Hogwarts?"
"And more specifically, why the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor?"
He steepled his fingers.
"From my memories of your school years—and from reading your books—I would have thought Charms better suited to your talents."
He smiled faintly.
"Of course, Filius has no intention of retiring anytime soon."
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.
"I still remember how Filius praised you when you modified the Lumos Charm into a defensive spell capable of countering certain Dark magic."
He tilted his head slightly.
"So yes… I remain curious why you chose this position instead."
At that moment, Douglas felt a sharp, searching gaze fixed on him.
He shrugged casually.
"To be honest, Headmaster, the outside world is rather troublesome."
"Human interactions are filled with intrigue and deception."
He spread his hands.
"That's true in both the Muggle world and the wizarding world."
"In fact, wizarding intrigue tends to be more dangerous."
Douglas leaned back slightly.
"And that's not very helpful for someone who writes novels."
He smiled faintly.
"It reminds me of my time studying here."
"Hogwarts is something of an ivory tower."
Dumbledore blinked.
Douglas quickly clarified.
"Ah—my apologies. That phrase has developed a slightly different meaning in the Muggle world compared to the biblical one."
Seeing Dumbledore's curiosity, he explained further.
"What I mean is that Hogwarts resembles a kind of utopia within reality."
"Yes, there are still problems."
"But generally speaking, people here are… simpler."
He paused.
"Of course, there is another reason."
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.
Douglas coughed awkwardly.
"I ran into writer's block."
Dumbledore frowned slightly in confusion.
Douglas gave an embarrassed smile.
"Professor, since you've read Master of All Trades, you probably noticed something."
"That novel stopped updating eight months ago."
He spread his hands helplessly.
"Both the wizarding edition and the Muggle edition."
"The truth is, the information I can gather is extremely limited—and most of it comes from the Muggle world."
He sighed.
"As you know, I started writing during my first year."
"Much of my research depended on the Hogwarts library."
He rubbed the back of his neck.
"And since the story hasn't been updated for so long… some readers—both Muggle and wizard—have grown rather unhappy with me."
He lowered his voice slightly.
"I've heard that a few particularly enthusiastic fans have started trying to track me down."
He quickly corrected himself.
"I mean… searching for the author everywhere."
Dumbledore nodded with sudden understanding.
"I see. I see."
He chuckled softly.
"I have a few admirers myself who occasionally send me rather strange and dangerous items."
"Apparently they wish to confirm whether I am too old to defend myself."
He waved a reassuring hand.
"But do not worry. Apart from a few individuals who know you very well, I believe it would be quite difficult for anyone to discover your true identity as the author of those best-selling novels."
He winked conspiratorially.
Douglas understood the feeling immediately.
Still, Dumbledore's gaze turned thoughtful again.
He studied Douglas carefully.
Douglas felt puzzled.
His explanation had seemed perfectly reasonable.
Why was Dumbledore still looking at him like that?
Had his appearance somehow disrupted some part of the Headmaster's plans?
Dumbledore soon provided the answer.
"Mr. Holmes," he said slowly, "I recall that you had a good relationship with Quirinus during your school years."
Douglas thought for a moment.
Dumbledore was referring to Professor Quirinus Quirrell, who had once taught Muggle Studies.
At first, Douglas had suspected that Quirrell might be the same man who later became the stuttering Defense Against the Dark Arts professor during Harry Potter's first year.
But that idea had never made sense.
Quirinus Quirrell had been one of Hogwarts' most outstanding graduates.
He had remained at the school as a professor shortly after finishing his studies.
Some gossip even claimed he might one day become the Head of Ravenclaw House.
He certainly wasn't the timid, garlic-scented man described in rumors about the future.
Perhaps it was simply a coincidence of surnames.
Besides, Quirinus had been knowledgeable, friendly, and fond of traveling.
During Douglas's time at Hogwarts, they had gotten along quite well.
They had even kept in touch after Douglas graduated—until more than two years ago.
At that time, Quirinus had written to say he was taking a year off to travel in Albania.
After that, the letters stopped.
Seeing Dumbledore's expression now, Douglas wondered whether something had happened.
"Well," Douglas said carefully, "as you know, I'm Muggle-born."
"That gave me a certain advantage in Quirinus's class."
Dumbledore nodded slowly.
"Is that also why you applied for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position?"
"...?"
Douglas blinked.
He was even more confused.
What did his job application have to do with Quirinus?
Seeing the confusion on Douglas's face, Dumbledore's stern expression softened slightly.
He explained quietly.
"Last school year, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was Quirinus."
"And he…"
"What?!" Douglas blurted out.
That surprised him completely.
He had always assumed the Quirrell who taught Defense Against the Dark Arts had been recruited from somewhere outside Hogwarts.
He honestly hadn't remembered the details from the original novels.
After all, the last time he had read them had been more than thirty years ago.
But now that Dumbledore mentioned it—
It sounded as though the Headmaster suspected something.
Specifically, that Douglas might be connected to Voldemort's schemes.
Knowing Dumbledore's habits, Douglas understood the danger.
If the Headmaster sensed the slightest possibility of Dark influence…
He would not hesitate to treat someone as an obstacle on Harry Potter's future path to victory.
What do I do?
What do I do?
If only that ridiculous System had activated already instead of remaining silent at the most critical moment.
He had come here to apply for a teaching position—not to become the boss fight for a group of eleven-year-olds.
Douglas forced himself to calm down.
After organizing his thoughts, he spoke steadily.
"Professor, the last time I had contact with Quirinus was more than two years ago."
"He told me he was taking a year off to travel in Albania."
"We haven't spoken since."
Douglas spread his hands.
"I didn't even know he had returned to England, let alone become the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor."
He hesitated.
"Actually, I heard something else from my editor."
He leaned forward slightly.
"They mentioned that the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor last year was a man who stuttered and wore a scarf that smelled strongly of garlic."
Douglas frowned.
"That seems… rather different from the Quirinus I knew."
He looked directly at Dumbledore.
"Professor, if possible, could you explain what happened?"
"And where is he now?"
Douglas paused.
"Also… is the Defense Against the Dark Arts position truly cursed?"
Although Douglas had cleverly shifted the conversation, he was genuinely confused.
He had never imagined that the two versions of Quirrell might actually be the same person.
Now he truly wanted to understand what had happened.
Even though he remembered the general outline of events, his presence alone might have already altered the timeline.
A single butterfly could change the course of history.
Dumbledore clearly hadn't expected Douglas to ask about the curse so directly.
For a moment, he even worried that Douglas might withdraw his application because of the rumors.
And finding another Defense Against the Dark Arts professor would be… exhausting.
After a moment's silence, Dumbledore began explaining the events of the previous school year.
"Douglas," he said carefully, "you must understand that the study of Dark magic can be extremely dangerous."
"It can alter a person's mind without them even realizing it."
When Dumbledore mentioned the Dark wizard who had been secretly controlling Quirrell, he watched Douglas closely.
Douglas's reaction remained calm.
He didn't panic the way most witches and wizards did when hearing Voldemort's name.
That reassured Dumbledore somewhat.
Douglas, meanwhile, contributed just enough reactions to keep the conversation flowing.
"Really? That's possible?"
"Good heavens… that's unbelievable."
"So that's what went wrong with him?"
"I've never heard anything like that before."
"Well… that certainly explains a lot."
Dumbledore nodded slightly.
At the very least, his explanation had not been ignored.
(End of Chapter)
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