Chapter 67: Who Is the Best Chef?
Then, the screen continued to change. Eden was being interviewed, and Elysia was doing a livestream.
Next, a chibi Kalpas and a chibi Aponia appeared on the screen. This Kalpas had a face full of rage as he kicked a crate of cabbages in front of him.
After he finished kicking, Kalpas turned his head to look at Aponia behind him. Aponia simply closed her eyes and gently shook her head.
"Once there was a Hero's Fort, a Kalpas quite extraordinary."
Seeing chibi Aponia shake her head, chibi Kalpas slammed his foot onto the ground and glared fiercely at her over the crates.
"Every word Aponia says makes Kalpas more irritable."
Chibi Aponia pointed at Kalpas and opened her mouth to say something, which only made Kalpas even angrier.
"His face behind the mask can't be seen; he has a bad temper but is very reliable."
Kalpas clutched his head, suppressing the rage in his heart. Just then, the figure of a "pink fat woman" flashed through his mind.
"Visually estimated to be taller than the Conqueror of Demons."
As this lyric appeared, the chibi image of the Conqueror of Demons—Kevin—appeared in the bottom right corner, holding a police ID and pointing at the screen.
"Hidden in his bedroom is a little kitty, trying to steal his mask."
Pardofelis was seen struggling to climb over a high wall to enter Kalpas's home.
"Su gets drunk after just a few cans; Sakura has no tolerance for alcohol."
"Pressing this peacock means—Lame~~"
Su was seen leaning against a large tree sleeping while holding a leaf in both hands. Beside him, Kosma held his stomach, laughing at him.
"Balala Little Kalpas, when his mood turns bad, he gives the cabbages two kicks."
Kalpas grabbed a cabbage and threw it straight to the ground, where it rolled to Aponia's feet.
"Balala Little Kalpas, he fears nothing, unless she is Aponia."
On the screen, Aponia grabbed one of Kalpas's hands, closing her eyes and silently praying for him.
"Predictions are useless to him; art is all about charging in."
"His Signets are 'good-looking'; they can teach you how to become a real man."
The screen showed Kalpas in his Active Reaction form, continuously slaughtering Honkai beasts.
The scene returned to Aponia holding Kalpas's hand, praying for him.
"Even if Brother Kalpas is invincible, he occasionally gets depressed."
Chibi Eden was seen holding a musical instrument, blasting music directly at Kalpas.
"Kevin just took over for Ellie, and he's been slurping noodles for a week."
Kalpas, wearing star-shaped sunglasses and flip-flops while holding a weapon, lay on an ice throne looking quite comfortable.
"Rumors can be down-to-earth, but they definitely shouldn't be down-to-the-underworld."
On the screen, chibi Veliona and Seele were saying something to Mobius, while Mobius spread her hands and shook her head helplessly.
"Brother Kalpas and the Snake don't have an illegitimate daughter."
"There are many 'good things' in his bedroom; he says they're more exciting than games."
The screen showed the challenge stages of the Elysian Realm.
"When he returns home, there are Can's paw prints; he's been robbed until only the wallpaper is left."
Pardofelis and the little cat, Can, were seen researching how to break into Kalpas's house.
"Balala Little Kalpas, when his mood turns sour, he goes to the seabed to catch lobsters."
Kalpas was seen sitting on a rock, holding a skewer with a piece of Honkai beast meat on it.
"Balala Little Kalpas, shouting 'Muda-muda'; leaving leftovers is looking for trouble."
Kalpas stood with his arms crossed over his chest, looking arrogantly at Su and Sakura.
"Balala Little Kalpas, though he has a bad temper, everyone praises his cooking."
"Balala Little Kalpas, known as the Little Chef God, but he chokes as soon as there's a competition."
Kalpas leaped up and gave Sakura a big slap, but it didn't cause her any damage.
However, Sakura tossed a watermelon into the air and shattered it with a single draw of her blade, causing Kalpas to collapse instantly.
"Placed a Discipline on him to stop Brother Kalpas from wrecking the house."
"Aponia advised him to go learn painting from Griseo."
The scene returned to Aponia and Kalpas. Aponia was still holding Kalpas's hand, continuously placing Disciplines on him.
"Little Kalpas, in a bad mood, gave the cabbage crates two kicks."
"The quality of the crates was poor, attracting Senti to come over for a sales pitch."
Kalpas shook off Aponia's hand and turned his head with a cold snort.
With one kick, Kalpas smashed the cabbage crate to pieces. He looked at the shattered crate and then at Aponia with an awkward expression, while Aponia's eyes were filled with murderous intent.
Then the screen showed Senti being surrounded by a crowd and interviewed.
"When Little Kalpas returned home, he realized those two had stripped the place bare."
Pardofelis and the kitten Can appeared again, having already cleared out Kalpas's home.
The screen gradually faded to black along with the ending of the song.
"The video ends here!"
…
[ HI 3 - Raiden Mei: So weird. Let me look again… but it's still so weird. ]
[ Genshin - Xiangling: This song is quite cheerful, and with these visuals, it really makes you want to laugh. ]
[ HSR - Cocolia: Eh? Does this powerful warrior have a child with someone named Snake? ]
[ HI 3 - Elysia: Snake? Is that talking about you, Mobius? ]
[ HI 3 - Mobius: Elysia, what do you mean? How could I possibly have a child with Kalpas? ]
[ Genshin - Xianyun: Actually, getting married and having children isn't a bad thing. ]
[ HSR - Jing Yuan: Lady Fu, let's get married! ]
[ HSR - Fu Xuan: General, you scoundrel! ]
[ HI 3 - Welt Yang: A child? It seems… uh, Tesla. ]
[ HI 3 - Tesla: Joachim, what do you mean? I'm telling you, don't even think about that suggestion, you xxxxxxx, you'll xxxxx in the future. ]
"Alright, everyone, next is our pleasant Q&A time!"
"Question: Kalpas is known as the best chef in the Moths. Along with two rising stars from the post-civilization era, they are known as the three best cooks in Honkai Impact 3rd. Who are the two cooks from the post-civilization era?"
"A. Siegfried, Kiana"
"B. Otto, Durandal"
"C. Raiden Mei, Rita"
"D. Theresa, Murata Himeko"
[ HI 3 - Kalpas: Oh, how interesting! ]
[ HI 3 - Kiana: Hehe, is Mei there? I have to pick Mei. Mei's cooking skills have no rivals. ]
[ Genshin - Xiangling: People who are good at cooking? Heehee, I really want to meet them. ]
[ Genshin - Yae Miko: Cooking… Raiden Makoto, this reminds me of someone. ]
[ Genshin - Raiden Makoto: Uh, now that you mention it, I am too… ]
At this moment, Yae Miko and Raiden Makoto glanced at each other, both turning their gaze toward Raiden Ei, who was training with her blade not far away.
[ HSR - Seele: Cooking? I know a little bit about that. ]
[ HSR - Lynx: Sometimes when camping outside with nothing to eat, you have to do it yourself, so I think my cooking skills should be alright. ]
…