Hyunjin
The hospital is strangely silent.
It's not a sense of calm, it's more like an emptiness, that swallows everything.
I sit on a plastic chair opposite the operating theatre door and watch the red sign: Operating, which has been lit for too long. Shoulder. Face. I know exactly, where that bastard hit him. I know, how close the knife was to the artery. How little it would have taken.
My fingers are calm. And that's the worst part.
When you've killed enough people, you learn to wait. But this waiting is different.
The doctor comes out. She looks tired but focused. She's exactly the type of person you would entrust someone else's life, without question.
„The operation was successful," she says. I just nod. „We stabilised the shoulder. The tendon was damaged, but we saved it. It will need rehabilitation."
„And his face?" That question bothers me more than anything else.
„The cut is deep," she replies honestly. „From his cheekbone to his chin. The scar will remain." It will remain. Like everything that ever touches my world.
... ༺༻ ...
When he wakes up, I am sitting by his bedside.
He looks pale. Calm. He is breathing regularly. His shoulder is immobilised and bandaged. A sterile dressing covers his face. He looks younger. More fragile. Suddenly, I feel like I have failed.
He opens his eyes and blinks.
„Hyunjin?" His voice is weak, but still lively.
„How are you feeling?" I ask, reaching out to him. I brush the hair from his forehead.
„I'm still alive. You won't get rid of me that easily." He smiles and hisses in pain, when he tries to touch his face. He looks down at the bandage, and understanding flashes across his face.
The doctor joins us. She is holding a small mirror in her hand. I notice, that Taesung is staring at her intently.
„Mr. Jo, how are you feeling? You have suffered serious injuries, I need to know how you are."
„I'm fine," he replies, nodding towards the mirror. „Can I take a look?" He holds out his hand to the doctor, who hands him the mirror.
„You have a scar. It's a long one that will be visible," the doctor warns him.
He looks in the mirror and peels off the sterile dressing. He isn't startled. He just nods, as if he expected it.
„We can fix it so that it's almost invisible," the doctor says professionally. She explains the options to him. Laser. Plastic surgery. Money is not a problem. It never has been.
„I don't want to," he says, shaking his head.
„Taesung, are you sure?" I look at him more sharply than I intend to. I'm surprised he's refusing. He's young. Beautiful. Not that the scar detracts from his beauty. But I expected him to feel that way.
„Yes, I am," he says firmly. „He belongs to me now," he adds, and the room falls silent.
The doctor nods and starts to leave, but Taesung stops her.
„I want to leave today. Is that possible?" The doctor is about to protest, but I intervene.
„Taesung, you need to be under supervision for at least two days and...,"
„I said I want to leave. Is that possible?" He doesn't look at me, but at the doctor. The doctor nods and says she'll be back in a few minutes with the paperwork that Taesung will need to sign if he wants to leave the hospital against medical advice. I sit next to Taesung, feeling as though something has slipped through my fingers.
... ༺༻ ...
The attack was planned. Mishimoto made the decision and I officially lost my patience.
That very night, I ordered my men to capture Mishimoto's right-hand man, who does everything he says.
We've had Nishimura locked up for three days now, but I haven't told Taesung yet. I know what he would say. I want to participate. I can see it in his eyes. He is no longer the innocent boy, who came to visit his father.
During the ambush, Nishimura didn't make a sound. He never yelled, he always took everything in his stride. That's why Mishimoto kept him close.
„Has it come to this?" he asked.
„No," I replied. „It's only just begun."
We locked him in an abandoned warehouse. I left the Kang brothers to take care of him for the time being. And they did. With a towel and a bucket of water. They tortured him over and over again, but the damn bastard still wouldn't talk.
By now, Mishimoto must know, that his right-hand man is missing. He knows, who took him and why. The tables will soon turn. He went after my loved ones, so I'll go after his. I'll start with his minions, and then I'll move on to his family.
... ༺༻ ...
I stand in the doorway of Taesung's room, leaning against the doorframe and crossing my arms over my chest. I watch him sleeping peacefully. An hour ago, Taeju forced him to take some very effective pills, which made him tired and caused him to fall asleep. That's good, his body needs to regenerate.
His scar, like a thin line of fate, is visible under the bandage. For the first time in a long time, I admit the truth I've been trying to avoid.
This is no longer just a war. Taesung is no longer just someone I protect. He is the reason I will continue to kill.
„Have you admitted it to yourself finally?" I hear someone say behind me. I turn around and see Taeju leaning against the railing with a cigarette in his hand. I ask him for one, too. I realise I haven't had one in a long time and that I really want one now.
He lights it for me. I take a drag, wait a moment, then answer him.
„What was I supposed to admit?"
„Don't try that on me. We both know you like that boy more than a little. I can see it in your eyes, Hyunjin. You can fool yourself, but not me. I know you." He looks at Taesung in bed and I follow his gaze.
„You've always had a knack for seeing through me," I begin, pausing. I take a drag on my cigarette. „Maybe you're right, but what good does that do me? I'm just hurting him. Look at him, look at where I've got him. It's my fault, do you understand? Six months ago, I wouldn't have cared, but now all I care about is, that I've ruined this young boy's life."
„Could it be that he awakened love in you?"
„Love, my arse."
„You're doing it again, denying it."
„So what if I have strong feelings for him? Hmmm? This relationship could never work. When he recovers, I'll let him go. He has to leave before he loses his life because of me." Taeju laughs quietly. Not amused, but bitter.
„That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say." I look up at him, my eyebrows knitting together.
„Excuse me?"
„You'll let him go?" He repeats slowly, as if savouring it. And he does. „And where exactly, Hyunjin? Into a world where he already knows the taste of blood? Where he has a scar on his body that will remind him every day who put it there?" He takes a drag on his cigarette and blows the smoke to the side. „That boy has nowhere to go back to."
I remain silent. Because, deep down, I know he's right. It's always been that way. Taeju is one of the most important people in my life because he always manages to make me see sense.
„You'll let him go," he continues quietly. „And Mishimoto will take him. Not right away. Not tomorrow. But he will. Now he knows he's important to you. Can't you see that? He understood it before you did. Taesung means more to you, that's why he's after him. Sunhee?" he asks, pausing. „She's untouchable because of her husband. Taesung only has you."
I clench my jaw. „That's why I have to push him away." I pause. „There's something to that saying, you know."
„What saying?"
„If you love someone, you have to let them go."
„Fuck off with this shit, Hyunjin!" He raises his voice, and I glare at him sharply to make him understand that he needs to quiet down. I want Taesung to sleep peacefully.
„It'll break him," I growl. „This world. Me. Everything." Taeju takes a step towards me.
„The boy is already broken. Now it's just a matter of whether you make him a victim or a weapon." His words settle on my shoulders like a long-term burden. I close my eyes for just a second.
In that moment, I see everything. The blood, the hospital. Nishimura in chains. Mishimoto's smile. I see Taesung's face, when he woke up and said he would keep the scar.„If he stays," I finally say, „I'll never let him go."
Taeju smiles. This time, without humour. „He knows that, trust me."
I look back at the bed. The boy, who may become the most dangerous thing I've ever created. I stub out my cigarette on the railing.
„Keep an eye on him when he wakes up."
„So you admit it," Taeju states. I don't answer because some truths are not spoken aloud. They are just acted upon.
... ༺༻ ...
BLOOD DEBT (피의 빚)