I walked out of my room and stopped in the hallway.
Gia's door was open. Rue was lying on the bed next to her, both of them facing Gia's laptop, watching some show. Gia was under the covers. Rue was on top of them with her shoes still on because she's disgusting like that. They were laughing at something.
It looked like how things used to be. Before the overdose. Before rehab. Before all of it. Just two sisters watching TV and not thinking about anything.
Part of me wanted to walk in. Sit on the floor. Be part of it.
But they needed this without me.
I walked past.
* * *
RUE (V.O.)
Gia and I were watching this dumb reality show about people who flip houses. I don't know why we liked it. We just did. And I saw Jordan walk past the door. He slowed down for a second like he was gonna come in. But he didn't.
I think he thought we needed sister time or whatever. And maybe we did. But I wouldn't have minded if he stayed.
* * *
Back in my room. Headphones on. I spent another hour on the mix for "N.A.M.E.," just small stuff. Bringing the vocals up a hair. Tightening the reverb on the hook. Making sure the 808 wasn't clipping on the low end.
When it was done, I sat back and listened to it all the way through one more time.
Yeah. That's it. That's the one.
I decided to make a YouTube channel. Boosted Jay. Music and car content. I'd been thinking about it for a while and there was no reason to keep waiting. Set up the account, picked a profile picture, black background with the name in white. Simple. Wrote a bio: Music. Cars. East Highland.
But I wasn't posting the song yet. Not before Gia heard it.
Rules are rules.
* * *
I called Kat on FaceTime.
She picked up and she was wearing a cat mask.
Like, a full cat mask. Ears and everything. Just sitting in her room with a ring light behind her.
What the fuck.
"Calm down," she said. She could see my face.
"I didn't say anything."
"You didn't have to. Your eyebrows said it."
She pulled the mask up to the top of her head and told me about it. The camming. The money. How she'd started doing it after the tape thing. How guys online would pay just to watch her sit there in a mask and talk to them. How some of them paid more for less. How it made her feel powerful.
I listened.
I think she was maybe halfway expecting me to judge her. Tell her it was fucked up. Tell her she was better than that or whatever guys are supposed to say.
I didn't.
"Get your money," I said.
She smiled. Not the sharp one she used at school. A real one.
* * *
RUE (V.O.)
Jordan and Kat had this weird friendship that I didn't fully understand. Like, they weren't in the same friend group. They didn't really hang out at school. But every now and then I'd see his phone light up with her name and he'd take the call in his room with the door closed.
Which, again. Could mean anything.
* * *
"Tell me about Maddy and Nate," I said. "And Cassie."
And she did.
She told me Nate and Maddy were back together, which I already knew, but hearing the details was different. How he bought her a present to make up for the party. How Maddy told everyone she blacked out that night so nobody would ask about the college guy in the pool. How she was already posting couple pics again like nothing happened.
"It's toxic as fuck," Kat said. "But she's happy. Or she thinks she's happy. Which I guess is the same thing."
"Is it though?"
"Don't get deep on me right now, Jordan."
She told me Cassie and McKay were basically a thing now. He drove down from college every weekend to see her. Suze, Cassie's mom, loved him. Lexi tolerated him. Cassie was floating on it.
"Cassie's always floating on something," Kat said. "It's either a guy or a breakdown. No in between."
I laughed. She wasn't wrong.
We talked for like an hour. About everything and nothing. School. People. Bullshit. She was easy to talk to when it was just us. No audience. No performance. Just Kat being Kat.
She might actually be my closest friend right now. Weird how that happened.
* * *
I told her about the YouTube channel. She followed it immediately.
"First subscriber," she said. "Remember me when you're famous."
"You'll be my manager."
"I'd be a terrible manager."
"Yeah, probably."
A beat. Then I said it.
"I wanna fuck you again soon."
She didn't flinch. "I'm down. But I wanna try something new."
"Like what?"
"I don't know yet. I'll think about it." She paused. "Also, I met this guy. He paid for my lunch today."
"Paid for your lunch?"
"Yeah. I couldn't afford a grapefruit and he just... bought it. Didn't even ask. Just did it."
"Sounds like he's trying."
"Yeah. It was kinda sweet." She shrugged. "Anyway. I gotta go. Ring light's calling."
"Aight. Be safe."
"Always."
She hung up. I stared at the ceiling for a second.
Friends with benefits who actually talk. That's either the best setup in the world or the dumbest.
* * *
I texted Gia: Come to my room for a sec.
She showed up a minute later in her pajamas, phone in hand, still on FaceTime with her friend. I could hear the friend's voice tinny and small from the speaker.
I didn't say anything. Just turned my chair around, pulled up the file, and hit play.
"N.A.M.E." filled the room.
It was different from "Let Me Know." Softer. More R&B than rap. The beat floated and my voice sat inside it instead of on top, melodic and smooth, riding the rhythm like a slow drive. The lyrics were about wanting someone. Not in a desperate way. In that quiet way where you just want them to see you. To know your name.
Gia's eyes went wide about ten seconds in.
She looked at me. Then at her phone. Then back at me.
"Oh my god." She put the phone closer to the speaker. "Jordan, is that you?"
I just smiled.
From the phone, her friend's voice: "Jordan, you're two for two."
Gia was grinning now. Full grin. The kind she used to give when she was little and Mom brought home ice cream.
"Play it again."
I played it again.
She stood there the whole time, swaying a little, holding her phone so her friend could hear. When it ended, she looked at me with this expression that was part proud and part something else. Something like: I knew you could do this.
"Post it," she said. Same as last time. Same confidence. Same tone.
So I did.
Uploaded "N.A.M.E." to SoundCloud and YouTube. Same black cover, white text. Simple. Let the song speak.
Gia watched me do it, nodded, and walked back to her room. Still on FaceTime. I could hear her telling her friend, "My brother's about to blow up. I'm telling you."
* * *
RUE (V.O.)
Gia told me the next morning that Jordan dropped a new song. She played it for me at the kitchen table while I was eating cereal. And I'm not gonna lie, it was good. Like actually good. The kind of good where you forget for a second that it's your brother and you just hear the song.
I told her it was cool. She looked at me like I'd insulted her entire bloodline.
"Cool? It's not cool, Rue. It's fire."
Okay. Fire. Whatever. It was fire.
END OF CHAPTER SEVEN