My brother has this thing where he never looks like something got to him. Even when it did. You could catch him in the middle of the worst night of his life and he'd still seem like he had somewhere to be and a reason to go. I used to think that was strength. I'm still not sure it isn't. I'm just not sure it isn't something else, either.
* * *
I picked Cassie up at seven.
She came out in this tan blazer thing with wide-leg pants and heels that made no sense for bowling. She looked good but she looked like she was trying to look good, which is different. I didn't say anything about it.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey." She got in. Pulled the seatbelt slow.
I pulled out of her driveway and gave it a second before I asked, "What's been going on with you?"
"Nothing."
She said it too fast. I glanced over. She was already on her phone, the screen lighting her face up every few seconds. Reading, typing, reading again. Fast.
"You don't have to come if you don't want to. I can take you back."
"No." She locked her phone and put it face-down on her thigh. "It's just a little drama. Let's go."
I left it alone.
* * *
We had a good time. That part was real. She loosened up after the first game, laughing when she threw a gutter ball, talking shit when she didn't. She forgot about her phone for maybe an hour.
Then her phone rang.
She looked at the screen and her face dropped.
"I'm at the bowling alley with a friend." Pause. "I'll talk to you later."
She hung up and didn't look at me. I didn't ask. We finished the game.
* * *
Two hours later I was dropping her off. I pulled up slow and cut the engine.
Cassie exhaled and reached for the door handle. Then she went still.
I saw him before she said anything. Walking up from the curb. Nate Jacobs. He looked pissed.
Oh my fucking god.
I stepped out. Kept the door open between us. He stopped about ten feet away and looked at me.
"This is the second time you've been out with one of my girls."
I didn't say anything. There wasn't anything worth saying yet.
"You got a crush on me, motherfucker?"
Cassie was already getting out. "Nate, shut up. Stop it."
He wasn't listening to her. He started fidgeting.
He stepped closer. Still not touching anything. Still talking. Going on about ruining my life, about knowing people, about how I didn't know what I was doing. He was building something. Waiting for me to flinch so he'd have a reason.
I didn't flinch.
He kicked my car.
Cassie screamed his name. He barely blinked.
He turned to Cassie and started arguing with her. I stopped listening to what he was saying. I reached into the back seat and pulled on the motorcycle gloves I kept there. Reinforced knuckles. I came around the door quiet while he had his back half-turned.
I hit him once. Clean. He went sideways into the lawn.
"Touch my shit again and you'll get worse."
"Jordan, stop!" Cassie stepped between us, hands up. "Stop!"
Nate was in the grass on one knee. Not out. Just a little fucked up. I looked at him long enough to make sure he knew I wasn't done if he got up.
He didn't get up.
I looked at Cassie. She was standing with her arms out like she was still trying to stop something that had already finished.
"You're fucking Nate," I said. "Your best friend's weirdo ex."
Her eyes went sharp. "What about you? Did you tell her we fucked?"
"Yeah," I said. Lieing
She stared at me. Trying to figure out if I was telling the truth. I let her wonder.
I got in the car and drove.
* * *
I called Savanna from the road. Told her the short version.
She laughed. "Oh wow. Teenage drama."
"Yeah."
"You good?"
"I'm fine. Just pissed about the paint."
"Mm. Go handle your feelings, Jay."
She hung up. I drove the rest of the way home without music.
* * *
Gia was on the couch when I walked in.
"Your girl Cassie isn't as nice as you think," I said, and went upstairs.
* * *
I texted Maddy: Coming over.
She replied in under a minute: Ok, see you soon.
She'd been different with me since I got out of the hospital. Not soft exactly. Just like she'd turned something down a notch. I didn't know if it would last. I wasn't counting on it.
When I pulled up she was already outside, leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed. She walked to the car and got in without asking where we were going.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey. I need to tell you something."
She looked at me.
"A month ago, Cassie and I had sex."
She was quiet for a second. Then she laughed. Not like it was funny. The dry kind.
she said. "Was I better?"
I laughed. "Way better."
She got in the car and i drove off.
* * *
I took her to this place she said she wanted ti try. Low-sugar, low-carb smoothies. The menu looked like something a trainer would post on Instagram with a motivational caption under it.
I got one too. Figured I'd try it.
It tasted like someone squeezed fruit into a cup of water andthats it.
Maddy liked hers.
We sat across from each other in a booth. She was on her phone for a minute, then she put it down. She looked up and caught me looking at her.
"Are you done with Nate?" I asked.
She rolled her eyes.
Then she picked up her smoothie and took a sip and looked at me over the rim of the cup.
"I'm with you right now, right?"
She held my eyes for a second. Then she looked back at the table.
I let it be what it was.
* * *
The thing about Maddy is she never answers the question you actually asked. Just gave an answer that sounded good if you weren't listening. My brother always listened. I think he already knew. I think that's why he let her get away with it.