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Chapter 45 - Part 2, Chapter 7 - If You Laugh After Crying

The moment we stepped into the old building, a monstrous wave of dust and mold came rolling out to greet us.

"Whoa... this place is seriously filthy..."

"How long is it gonna take to clean all this...?"

"....."

We stared around the old building, which looked like it would take three people an entire day of nonstop scrubbing just to make it remotely presentable, and collectively lost the ability to speak.

Seriously... how had Komaeda managed to clean all of this by himself and set up the trick on top of that?

"Um... then... let's divide the area and clean by section. That should be better than just attacking it at random."

"Then I'll clean the other rooms besides the banquet hall."

"I'll take the banquet hall."

"Then... I guess I'll do the hallway...?"

I volunteered to clean every room except the banquet hall so I could keep Hanamura under control and prevent any trick from being planted just in case. Kyoko Kirigiri took the banquet hall, and Chiaki Nanami took the hallway.

"...All right, let's get started!"

With that energetic declaration, Nanami grabbed the cleaning supplies and began scrubbing every inch of the hallway.

"Why did you volunteer to clean in the first place?"

"Uh... I kind of like cleaning a little..."

"....."

Kyoko Kirigiri shot me a razor-sharp glare. A chill ran down my spine, and I hurriedly started making excuses.

"I-It just felt suspicious somehow... Like something was going to happen here..."

"Anyway, you had a reason. That's what you're saying?"

"Y-Yeah..."

"Next time, just say you have a reason. I trust you."

Kyoko Kirigiri declared it with absolute certainty. She looked so absurdly cool that I just stood there with my mouth hanging open, staring at her like an idiot.

"...Stop staring blankly like that and go do your job."

"Y-Yes ma'am..."

Why was Kyoko Kirigiri so cool? I burned that image of her into my mind, then headed off to grab the cleaning supplies.

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"Something's definitely off. Why has he been so anxious this whole time?"

Watching his retreating back as he walked away, Kyoko Kirigiri murmured uneasily.

"If I leave him alone like this, I get the feeling he'll come back hurt again somewhere. ...I won't allow that. I'd better give it to him before it's too late."

As she toyed with something in her pocket, Kyoko Kirigiri silently vowed that if anyone dared lay a hand on what was hers, she'd make them regret it.

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"Whew... this is rough..."

After cleaning the office for a while, I stepped back outside and saw Nanami in the hallway, sighing as she diligently kept scrubbing away.

"How's the cleaning going?"

"Hm...? K? Ah... I'm trying my best, but... it's harder than I thought... In games, events like this are over in a few taps..."

"Don't push yourself too hard. We're doing this for everyone's sake, so you can take it easy."

"Yeah... thanks for worrying about me..."

Nanami answered with a bright smile, but there was still a strangely gloomy air hanging around her.

It was probably because she'd been agonizing over being this so-called observer without even understanding what that meant.

At this rate, I really did need to share what I knew about the observer with her. I took a deep breath and lowered my voice to a whisper.

"Nanami, you've seemed really down lately... Did something happen...?"

"Ah... w-well..."

"Mm... I think I might know why you're like this..."

"W-What do you mean by that...?"

"Actually..."

"Ah! Nanami and K, there you are!"

Right as I was about to tell Nanami that I was an observer too, someone barged into our conversation in the hallway.

"Ko... Komaeda? What are you doing here...?"

"We drew lots to decide who'd help Hanamura prepare the food, and I won. For someone who's supposed to be the [Ultimate Lucky Student], my luck really is rotten... Hahaha..."

Damn it. So he forced his way here somehow after all.

"Ah, I see. Then..."

"Ahhh, K! So this is where you were! I need to use the kitchen, but it's way too filthy. Give me a hand!"

I was just about to make up some excuse and get Komaeda away from here when Hanamura shouted from the distance. Damn it. Looks like now wasn't the time.

"Komaeda, then let's go help—"

"Actually, I was put in charge of moving the ingredients... Sorry I can't be of much help."

"Well... can't be helped."

I had to stop Hanamura's murder too, so maybe this was the perfect chance to talk to him.

"Then I'm off to clean the kitchen."

"...Yeah."

Leaving behind Nanami, whose expression had grown noticeably darker, I headed for the kitchen with a lingering sense of regret.

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'What he just said... no way...'

Chiaki Nanami felt her heart pounding as she replayed what had just happened.

The boy who had introduced himself as the [Ultimate Counselor] had spoken to her while she was cleaning, then suddenly looked at her with a strange expression and said he thought he knew her secret.

Startled, she'd stammered, and he had looked as if he'd expected that reaction. He was just about to tell her something when the others arrived, so he cut himself off, glanced at her, and left.

Judging from all of that, he had probably figured out that she was the "observer."

She tried desperately to stay calm, but the anxiety only swelled larger and larger.

'What even is an observer?'

No matter how much she thought about it, there was no reason she—who had lost her memories at the exact same point as everyone else—should be an "observer" or a "traitor." But if that was true, then what was that rule in the E-Handbook supposed to mean?

'I don't know... I don't know anything... This is too much...'

Thrown into a situation she couldn't comprehend and branded with the label of "observer" on top of that, it felt like her heart was slowly caving in.

'I can't just keep thinking negative thoughts. If I hold on a little longer, help will definitely come...'

She forced back the tears threatening to spill and tried to keep thinking positively as she resumed cleaning—when suddenly, someone spoke to her.

"Nanami, do you have a minute?"

"...Ah, Komaeda? You haven't left yet...?"

"Yeah. There's something I wanted to say to you..."

"Something you wanted to say...?"

"You're the traitor, aren't you?"

Komaeda's abrupt accusation hit her like a blade. Nanami was so shocked that she dropped the cleaning tool in her hands and cried out.

"W-What...!?"

"Haha, I'd appreciate it if you didn't get quite so flustered..."

"I-I don't know anything about that...!"

"That's cold... You don't have to be so guarded with someone on your side."

"What...?"

"The truth is, I'm a traitor too."

".....!?"

Seeing Nanami's stunned expression, Komaeda smiled quietly and began to speak.

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"The kitchen's this filthy...? Just how the hell was this place maintained!? This is an insult to cooking itself!"

"....."

"First, wash these dishes... Ah, and you wipe the floor. Get it sparkling white, like a brand-new pair of panties...! Hehehehe..."

"Uh... sure..."

Hanamura tossed out that shameless sex joke, then started humming to himself as he enthusiastically washed dishes.

Looking at him like this, he seemed less like someone capable of murder and more like a walking gag character. But underneath that ridiculous exterior, his heart was probably festering badly.

Still, if I confronted him head-on when he wasn't showing any of that turmoil on the surface, it could backfire spectacularly. Better to play along for now and gradually probe his real feelings.

"At this rate... if we clean properly, you should be able to cook just fine, right...?"

"Mm... honestly, this space is way too cramped to contain my brilliant cuisine... but if I just stuff this tight, narrow little space full of my overflowing passion~"

"Uh... Hanamura, what are you making today...?"

"Well, dishes so good they could send one or two people straight to heaven with a single bite... Ah, and by send them away, I mean...!"

"No, no, that's enough. If it's food made by the [Ultimate Cook], then I'm sure it'll be incredible... More importantly, are you really okay cooking all by yourself...?"

"Don't worry, don't worry! Dishes at this level are faster than pulling out—"

What the hell was in this guy's brain that made him connect literally everything to sex jokes?

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"That's why this cooking utensil is basically an adult toy that teases cuisine itself! The more violently you shake it, the softer and more flavorful the batter gets..."

"....."

"Hm? K, why do you look so drained? You look like you had one hell of a night and got every last drop sucked out of you..."

Listening to Hanamura's nonstop, brainless sex jokes made me feel like my mind was actively rotting. I couldn't take it anymore, so I shut my thoughts down and just kept cleaning in silence. Then Hanamura suddenly asked me something.

"By the way, K... how far have you gotten with her...?"

"...Huh?"

"You know! It's not like you've just been holding hands this whole time... right!?"

"No... what are you even..."

"I kept secretly following you around to see when things would finally heat up, but since nothing happened, I figured you two must be sneaking off for late-night rendezvous..."

The second he said rendezvous, I was hit with a PTSD flashback to that old anonymous note. I grimaced, and Hanamura scratched his head awkwardly.

"Okay, maybe that was too far...? But I just have to know when something piques my curiosity! Especially in this department...!"

"No, even if you say that..."

"If you tell me, I'll do anything...! And by anything, I mean exactly the kind of thing you're thinking—"

I was about to ignore Hanamura's nonsense with the expression of a man chewing dirt when it hit me that this was actually a good opportunity. I looked at him and spoke seriously.

"If you want to know that badly, I could tell you a little..."

"...gulp."

"But in exchange, tell me what's been bothering you lately. Anything is fine."

"...All of a sudden?"

"Uh... believe it or not, I'm the [Ultimate Counselor]. If I don't counsel people, my whole body starts itching. Lately the situation's been what it is, so I haven't had the chance, but since we're here, why don't you tell me what's on your mind while we clean?"

"Do you also do sex couns—"

"Not that. A serious problem."

"....."

The moment I said it firmly, Hanamura's flippant attitude vanished. His face turned grave, clouded with worry. Just as I thought—underneath the cheerful act, this guy was rotting inside.

"Hey... how would you feel if there was someone more precious to you than anything else, and for years you had no idea what they'd been doing... or how they were living?"

"...Someone precious, huh."

"Yeah. Your parents, your friends... in your case, your girlfriend too. If you were in that situation, what would you do?"

I closed my eyes and fell silent. Hanamura let out a sigh and spoke as if he'd expected that.

"Well, even for a counselor, a question like that is probably..."

"I wouldn't care."

"What...?"

"I said I wouldn't care."

"W-Wha'd you say?"

Hanamura was so rattled he slipped into dialect. I looked him straight in the eye and continued.

"Even if I couldn't hear from them for years, even if I was worried sick about what they were doing right now, if there's no way to know at this moment, then what can I do about it? If I obsess over it, I'm the one who loses. So I wouldn't let it consume me."

"Y-You mean... someone precious...! Fine! Even if your girlfriend was in that kind of situation, you're saying you wouldn't worry!?"

"Of course I'd be insanely worried."

"S-See!? Didn't you just say you'd worry too? Honestly, I'm so worried right now I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind!"

"Yeah...?"

"Yeah...! If I could, I'd... right this second...!"

"Then what? Right this second, what?"

"R-Right this second..."

Hanamura started sweating bullets. This was the guy who'd been driven half-mad wondering what had happened to his mother and had eventually committed murder over it. He looked dangerously unstable. Good. Time to shock him a little.

"You're so worried that you'd pick someone you could justify killing, murder them, cover it up, get all the other students killed too, and escape by yourself? Is that it?"

".....!"

"Then you'd get out and reunite with the person you care about. You'd be so happy. The seventeen people sacrificed so you could see them again wouldn't even cross your mind. Right?"

"N-No, that's not..."

"Of course it isn't. You're not that kind of selfish person, are you?"

"....."

Hanamura slowly calmed down, then sank to the floor and began to sniffle.

"...But I... I have to go back... My mom... my mom's not even healthy... and she's all alone..."

"...You're not the only one in that situation. Everyone here is in the exact same position you are."

"Everyone... here..."

"Me too. In my life, there are fourteen friends—the only friends I've ever truly grown close to, people more precious to me than anything. But because my memories were erased, I don't know what happened to them or what they're doing now."

"Y-You too...?"

"Yeah. Honestly, every night when I lie down to sleep, I feel like I'm going crazy because their faces keep flashing through my mind. Until not long ago, we were literally sharing life and death together, building bonds through everything. And now they're not by my side. You know how empty that feels?"

"T-Then... how do you..."

"I told you. I don't let it consume me."

"Then how the hell can you not let it get to you...!?"

"If you want to survive this situation and see them again, you can't let your emotions devour you. Even if it means cowardly avoiding it, even if it means forcing yourself to ignore it, you grit your teeth and refuse to be swallowed. That's how you keep hold of the hope that you can overcome this."

"....."

"The others are in the same situation as you, but they're all trying in their own ways to get through it, aren't they? That's part of why we're having this party in the first place—to strengthen everyone's bonds."

"....."

"So what are you doing showing weakness when you've been entrusted with the most important role at such an important party? You're the one who's supposed to present the best food possible and breathe hope and connection back into everyone."

".....!"

"Hanamura Teruteru. You're always making dirty jokes, and you're kind of a screw loose, but even so, you're someone precious to everyone here. There's not much in this world that comforts people and makes them happy the way food does."

"Comforts people... makes them happy... Yeah... food... that's what it was..."

"Exactly! So stop acting weak and get up already. Let's finish preparing the food. If you keep slacking off like this, you'll ruin the party."

"...Hah. So you really are the [Ultimate Counselor]."

Hanamura brushed himself off, got to his feet, and shouted.

"All right!! I'll make the greatest food that'll knock everyone dead! Mom, just wait for me! I'll definitely escape from here... and I'll show you the best cooking... I'll show it to you too...!"

Tears were still streaming from Hanamura's eyes, but he wasn't crying anymore. He was smiling—brightly, openly, like a man who'd clawed his way back from the brink.

There was that saying about how if you laugh after crying, hair grows on your butt. But if you could smile that freely, then honestly, who cared?

Thinking something that stupid, I found myself smiling just as brightly.

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"B-But... K, um... a promise is a promise, right?"

"Hm? What promise...?"

"Th-That...! How far you've gotten with her...!"

"Ah..."

Damn it. For a second there, I thought he'd actually changed, but I guess the core of him was still the same. As for how far we'd gotten... the only thing I could even remember was holding hands. What the hell was I supposed to say?

"K, are you done cleaning the kitchen?"

"Ah, Kyoko Kirigiri... Yeah, I was just about finished... What about you...?"

"...I'm almost done too."

"I see... But why did you suddenly come here...?"

"Close your eyes and stick out your neck."

"Huh...?"

"Now."

I did as Kyoko Kirigiri said, closing my eyes and exposing my neck. Then I felt her fastening something around it.

"...This is?"

"A personal alarm. Make sure you wear it from now on."

"Uh... thanks, but why this...?"

Kyoko Kirigiri stepped in close, then whispered into my ear.

"It's a substitute for a collar."

"....!"

Leaving behind those words, Kyoko Kirigiri calmly walked out of the kitchen.

"...You don't have to tell me anymore. After seeing that, I think I've got a pretty good idea how far you've gotten."

I turned to the side and saw Hanamura with a nosebleed pouring down his face.

...Woof.

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