"Hey, don't act like we're buddies," Peeves said sharply, then broke into a nasty grin. "Oh, look at the poor little friendless kid. No one wished you Merry Christmas, huh?"
"You're one to talk," Charlie shot back, the corner of his mouth curling as he stared straight through Peeves' translucent body. "Does anyone even miss you? After all these years as a ghost, you must be drowning in loneliness. I might be the only person who's ever said Merry Christmas to you—and you're too insecure to accept it."
"Hey, you little shit!" Peeves snarled, diving down and wrapping his arms around a huge, fat-bellied, narrow-necked vase sitting on the tall windowsill. "If you beg for mercy right now, I might still let you off."
Charlie's eyes flickered. He took half a step back, suddenly looking small and scared. "Are you really gonna smash that on me?"
"Of course! And just so you know, this vase is solid bronze," Peeves crowed, exactly the reaction he'd been hoping for.
But the fear vanished from Charlie's face in an instant. He stood up straight, voice dripping with challenge.
"Go on—hit me right here!"
He tapped his own forehead.
Peeves froze for a split second, then exploded with rage. He hurled the vase straight at Charlie's head.
"I hope you're praying you can dodge this!" he laughed wildly.
Charlie didn't dodge. He stood perfectly still, firelight playing across his calm face—half bright, half shadow.
The eerie stillness made Peeves feel a chill crawl up his spine.
Bang—
The huge crash echoed down the empty corridor.
"What the—? What are you doing?!" Peeves shrieked in horror.
Right before his eyes, the vase slowly slid down Charlie's body and clattered to the floor.
Charlie's head was gone. Only a headless body remained, standing there stiffly, arms hanging limp like a corpse that had died on its feet.
"Ahhh!!!"
Peeves screamed. "What did you do?! Why didn't you dodge?!"
But Charlie couldn't answer. His head had vanished. There was no life left in him—only his shadow twisting weirdly on the wall in the firelight.
Peeves was terrified. He zipped back and forth through the air. "Oh Merlin, someone help him! Someone help me!!"
"Peeves~"
A strange, low, hollow voice echoed through the corridor.
"Who? Who is that?!" Peeves spun around in panic.
The voice didn't answer. It just kept going. "You killed a young wizard. Dumbledore will never forgive you. You're not Peeves anymore—you're a murderer."
Peeves could already picture Dumbledore standing in front of him, those blue eyes no longer kind—only endless fury, ready to erase him from Hogwarts forever.
He floated closer to the body, voice trembling. "What do I do? You're dead… are you going to become a ghost? Is that you talking?"
"Ahhh!!"
Charlie's head suddenly popped out of his own chest with a terrifying yell.
Peeves shrieked and shot straight up to the ceiling, curling into a terrified ball and shaking as he stared down. "You… you're a ghost? Are you here for revenge?!"
"Never thought the great Peeves would be such a coward," Charlie laughed.
Seeing Charlie standing there cracking up, Peeves finally realized what had happened. "Wait—you're not dead? But I saw that bronze vase smash your head clean off!"
"That's magic," Charlie said with a smile.
"That's not magic! I've never seen any wizard do that!" Peeves roared.
Charlie spread his hands innocently. "And I've never seen a ghost pick up a solid object and try to smash me with it."
"I'm not a ghost," Peeves muttered, floating down a little—but still keeping his distance. He was genuinely scared now.
"Then what are you?" Charlie asked curiously.
"I… I…" Peeves struggled for an answer. He only knew he was different from the other ghosts. "I'm the great King Peeves!" he declared arrogantly, making it up on the spot.
"If you don't give me a real answer, I'll show you something even scarier—ten times worse than what I just did," Charlie said, still smiling.
Peeves' face twisted in misery. After a long, reluctant pause he finally mumbled, "I don't really know… but some theorists say I'm made from all the mischief and naughty energy of children put together."
He made several disgusted spitting noises, clearly hating the idea that he was some kind of collective thing.
He preferred to think of himself as a unique individual.
"Interesting theory," Charlie nodded. "Well, good night."
With that little interlude over, Charlie didn't want to waste any more time. He continued down the corridor.
"Hey, wait! Show me that even scarier thing you mentioned!" Peeves called after him, equal parts curious and terrified.
Charlie's footsteps stopped. He didn't turn around.
Peeves frowned and floated a little closer to the boy's back. "What are you up to now?"
No answer. Only the wind whispering through the hall.
The entire corridor fell into an eerie, dead silence once more.
Peeves inched closer.
When he was less than a meter away, Charlie suddenly whipped his head around, grabbed his own jaw, and yanked it downward—stretching his mouth into a gaping, abyss-like maw.
"Roooaaar~"
"Ahhh!!!"
Peeves was scared out of his wits. He shot backward, straight through the wall, and vanished.
Watching him disappear, Charlie pressed his lips together in a satisfied little smile. "Told you it'd be terrifying.
Especially when a human does it instead of a ghost."
Of course, none of it was new to Charlie.
Whether it was sinking his whole head into his chest and popping it back out, or stretching his jaw into a monstrous mouth, it was all thanks to the Softening Charm.
Hey, it's not that scary—Tom and Jerry do stuff like this all the time.
Charlie chuckled and shook his head, then picked up the bronze vase from the floor.
It was surprisingly light. Not nearly as heavy as it looked. The metal was thin—more like a sheet of copper than a proper vase.
Still, it was a nice piece of craftsmanship.
It was so thin that the impact had left a dent in the belly.
Charlie gripped it by the neck, turned it upside down, and gave his own forehead a couple of light taps.
Thunk thunk—
"Little brat," he muttered with a grin. Any other young wizard would've been seeing stars after a hit like that.
Nothing serious would've happened, and Peeves had wound up with a huge swing—anyone with decent reflexes could've dodged.
Of course, if it had been…
Charlie shook his head and coughed twice.
Can't badmouth a friend like that. Neville's just not had much practice yet, so he's a bit clumsy.
He set the vase back on the windowsill, cast a Repair Charm to pop the dent back out, and continued downstairs.
On the way he raised his wand and gave the air a gentle tap.
"Lu—mos."
A tiny light sprite appeared, fluttering and flapping its wings in midair.
Charlie watched the little creature quietly for a moment, then smiled and asked, "So are you some kind of conceptual aggregate too?"
The light sprite rested its glowing hand on its chin and tilted its head, looking deep in thought.
"Alright, guess you don't know either."
Charlie waved his wand again and the sprite vanished.
He kept the "specializable objects" vision active the rest of the way back to the Ravenclaw common room.
Pushing open the dormitory door, he first checked Lely. No highlight around her frame.
"Figures. Still a long way to go," Charlie sighed.
Just as he was about to close the vision, a strange white outline suddenly caught his eye.
It was a blue-white silhouette with a round, chubby belly and two long ears.
And it was moving.
??
Charlie froze in place, staring at Alice—completely wrapped in that glowing outline.