Chapter 45. Riding Out Alone (單騎出陣)
The reason he walked toward a clearly visible ruin was, perhaps, inertia.
As Youngwoo was preparing to depart the next day, an unexpected visitor came to see him.
At the mention that someone had arrived, he turned sharply in irritation.
"Damn it, I'm already losing my mind—who is it now, who?"
The time when his comrades had come to console him had just ended.
As he snapped and raised his voice, his eyes caught sight of his master.
Baek In-gyeom stood at the entrance of the tent.
Youngwoo quickly straightened himself.
"My apologies. I did not realize it was you, Master."
"So, have I come here for nothing?"
The short remark fell with weight.
It carried more than one meaning.
Was his coming here a futile act.
Had the path they had walked together until now been in vain.
Had the time he spent teaching him been a wrong choice.
"I am sorry. I have been foolish."
"You didn't know it was me?"
"It's not that. I thought you wouldn't know about what happened today."
Baek In-gyeom asked, as if admonishing him,
"Why did you do it?"
"My superior knelt and begged forgiveness because of me. How could I just sit still?"
"I see. You should have thought a little more."
After a brief silence, Youngwoo spoke.
"Those bastards are in contact with the enemy. We didn't even know which enemy commander we had killed, but they did. They said the one we killed was Alhal Cheopmok-a."
Baek In-gyeom asked quietly,
"Do you know who that is?"
"I don't. One of their tribal chiefs, isn't he?"
"He is the Khan's son."
Youngwoo's heart dropped.
The Khan's son.
That meant the war would not end easily.
And the reason he had been pushed onto the battlefield became clear.
When one sees the other side of the world, a certain loneliness settles in.
A fleeting thought passed through him—how simple it would be to live seeing only the brighter side.
Youngwoo tried to dilute the weight of it.
"So one of the Great Khan's sons has died. Just one among many sons."
"Yes. They say he was the most favored. The Jurchen camp is now in mourning."
Youngwoo spoke calmly.
"Death is ordinary on the battlefield. Anyone dies. At any time. Those who believe they won't be the ones to die are the ones who keep wars going."
"What are you talking about?"
"If you truly think you might die tomorrow morning, it becomes difficult to start a war."
"So now you've become a man of peace."
Youngwoo let out a breath.
"When I think about dying…"
His words trailed off.
He sank down where he stood.
This moment of despair could not be contained in words.
He exhaled deeply and buried his head between his knees.
Baek In-gyeom left him as he was.
After a while, Youngwoo raised his body again.
"They're trying to kill me. I only just realized it. My defiance is called insubordination. They call it rebellion against superiors. They say I'll become dangerous. And yet those bastards are in league with the enemy. They're one and the same."
Baek In-gyeom could not continue.
A capable young soul.
That soul was still young.
He had entered the army at an early age and gone through much.
Even so, deep within, that youth still remained.
"Won't you even offer me a seat?"
Youngwoo sprang to his feet.
"My apologies!"
He hurriedly brought over a round cushion, shaped like a drum, and brushed it off with his hand.
"Please, sit here."
"Thank you."
Baek In-gyeom sat. Youngwoo sat as well.
People live in a world where words are spoken carelessly.
Yet when the conditions are right, words carry more weight.
Half of language is context.
"So you intend to die for it?"
Youngwoo's eyes narrowed.
After a moment, he answered.
"I won't die for nothing. I'll take one with me."
"Who?"
"If it's that bastard Seo, even better."
They called Officer Seo Ui-taek "Seo-seobang," adding "seobang" to mock him.
Baek In-gyeom suppressed a smile.
Even before death, a man's thoughts remain alive.
"How do you plan to do it?"
"That bastard deserves to die. He's trying to kill his own side just because he doesn't like me."
"How do you plan to do it?"
"I'm thinking."
"You're still thinking? You die tomorrow."
"You're not dead until you're dead. I'm prepared to die. My comrades have gone to the west gate. They're looking for someone who might help me."
"So that's why no one was here."
"They came and cried, so I shouted at them to go do something useful."
Baek In-gyeom let out a quiet laugh.
The life of a low-ranking Goryeo soldier is harsh.
Young and low in rank.
And yet their standard is high.
Once their resolve is set, they hone themselves.
They are different from the armies of the continent that fight by numbers.
"Negotiations for a ceasefire are underway."
"I know."
"I will not leave those who are trying to hand you over untouched."
"Leave them be. Once I die, it's over."
"Shall I intervene? I can speak to the general."
"I refuse."
Youngwoo's voice was firm.
"I don't want to see you bow to men like that, Master. A senior comrade has already knelt. If you bow as well, they will only grow more arrogant. Soldiers think of defending the nation. Those who only calculate are not soldiers."
"Even so, you will let yourself be struck down?"
"I will not."
"After I die, come to where I fell and tell me it was not in vain."
Baek In-gyeom spoke quietly.
"If you die, nothing may remain. Death is the end, is it not?"
Youngwoo shook his head.
"The Great Monk said this world is governed by the law of causation. Death is not the end. We are reborn according to our ties. If we meet again in another life… then I will not let these bastards go."
Baek In-gyeom looked at him for a moment.
"You are prepared to die."
"Yes."
Youngwoo spoke softly.
"I will walk alone into their midst. Into blades that may come from anywhere."
Baek In-gyeom said nothing further.