The elf village went completely silent when the three elder elves hit the wooden floor.
They were groaning and rubbing their heads while the glowing blue sparks of their broken magic faded into the night air.
Nobody had ever seen a fail like that before.
It was like Kai was a walking black hole that completely rejected their ancient magic.
The High Priestess gripped the carved arms of her throne and leaned forward.
Her eyes stared right through Kai as if she were trying to solve a massive puzzle.
She clearly did not know what to do with a guy who broke all the local rules of magic just by standing there.
"This is completely unprecedented," the High Priestess said, her voice echoing over the quiet crowd.
"The barrier protecting his soul is impenetrable, but it does not carry the foul stench of the corrupted valley. He is an anomaly, but he is not a feral beast."
Kai just stood there with his hands in his pockets and nodded like he totally agreed with her assessment.
"However," the High Priestess continued, turning her intense gaze directly toward the busty elf scout standing nearby.
"We cannot allow an unknown human anomaly to wander freely through Northernwood. Lyra, since you are the scout who discovered him trespassing, you will take full responsibility for his containment. He is to be placed under strict house arrest in your private quarters until we can properly evaluate his true nature."
Lyra's jaw practically hit the wooden platform.
She looked completely horrified by the official ruling.
"High Priestess, please reconsider this," Lyra begged, stepping forward and totally dropping her tough scout persona.
"I am your best forward scout. You cannot seriously assign me to babysit a filthy human inside my own home. He is incredibly annoying, and he literally never stops talking to me."
"My decision is final," the High Priestess stated firmly. The three bruised elders nodded in agreement while brushing off their robes.
"You will keep him contained. If he causes any trouble, you have my permission to punish him. But you must not let him out of your sight."
Lyra looked completely defeated. Her shoulders slumped, and she let out a sigh of absolute frustration.
But she knew she could not argue with the highest authority in the village. She turned around and glared at Kai with pure hatred in her green eyes.
"Move," Lyra snapped, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the gathering crowd.
Kai just gave the elders a friendly wave and happily followed his new warden.
Getting assigned to live with a gorgeous elf who hated his guts was basically the perfect scenario for his game system.
They walked across a series of glowing wooden bridges that connected the massive trees high above the forest floor.
Lyra kept a very fast pace, clearly wanting to get this humiliating walk of shame over with as quickly as possible.
They finally reached a secluded treehouse near the edge of the settlement. She pushed the heavy door open and shoved him inside before locking it securely behind them.
The treehouse was beautifully carved and smelled like fresh pine, but it was small.
It was basically just a single open room with a tiny kitchen area, a rack full of polished weapons, and exactly one bed tucked into the far corner.
There was no extra space for a roommate.
Lyra immediately walked to the centre of the room and crossed her arms under her chest, looking extremely serious.
"Listen to me very carefully, human," Lyra ordered, her voice completely cold.
"You are going to sleep on the floor in the farthest corner of this room. You will not touch my weapons, you will not touch my food, and you will absolutely not speak to me unless I speak to you first. If you break a single rule, I will tie you to a tree outside."
Kai just smiled and completely ignored her strict list of demands.
He looked down at his ruined clothes instead.
"Yeah, that sounds like a great plan, but there is a problem," Kai said casually.
"I am covered in sticky sap and dried dirt from falling out of the sky earlier. My new tunic is totally ruined, and it is making my skin itch like crazy."
Before she could even ask what he was doing, Kai grabbed the hem of his black tunic and pulled it right over his head.
He tossed the dirty shirt onto a nearby wooden chair, leaving himself completely half-naked right in the middle of her pristine living room.
Lyra gasped loudly and took a huge step back, her green eyes going wide with total shock.
Her long, pointy ears instantly turned bright red again.
"What are you doing?!" she yelled, quickly covering her eyes with one hand while peeking through her fingers.
"Put your clothes back on right now! Have you absolutely no shame?"
"I am just trying to get comfortable in my new home," Kai laughed, stretching his arms and showing off his chest.
"You cannot expect me to sleep in a sticky shirt. And besides, we are going to be living together for a while, so we might as well get used to seeing each other."
Elf guys were probably super traditional and never did anything unpredictable, so having a shameless human casually strip in her bedroom was destroying her strict worldview.
She looked so flustered that she could not even form a proper sentence to yell at him.
Right on cue, a familiar blue screen popped up in the corner of Kai's vision.
[Target is highly flustered.]
[Strength +1.0]
[Mana +5]
Kai looked at the floating text and had to stop himself from laughing out loud.
He remembered reading a weird rule in his system earlier that stated he could not actually form a permanent bond with a target until she fully submitted to him.
That meant he could not lock down any massive boss skills right now.
But the system never said anything about farming the basic stats.
He was getting free physical strength and extra mana just by taking his shirt off and making his beautiful roommate blush.
It was the most ridiculous exploit he had ever seen in a video game, but he was totally going to use it.
"You are red right now, Lyra," Kai teased, taking a slow step toward her while leaving his shirt on the chair.
"Are you sure you do not want to check my back for any scratches? I took a pretty hard hit when I grabbed that branch, so I might need some of that famous elven healing magic."
"Stay exactly where you are!" Lyra panicked, backing up until her shoulders hit the wooden wall.
"Do not come any closer to me while you are uncovered!"
[Target is embarrassed.]
[Agility +0.5]
Kai grinned and leaned against the wooden counter, making himself completely at home.
He realised he didn't even need to risk his life fighting feral monsters in the woods to get stronger.
"You know, you keep telling me to stay away, but you haven't actually stopped looking at me yet," Kai pointed out, enjoying the absolute panic in her bright green eyes.
"If my human body is so disgusting and filthy, you should probably just look at the floor. But you are definitely staring."
"I am not staring at you!" Lyra practically screamed, completely abandoning her quiet and respectful elven nature.
She finally managed to turn her head away, staring intensely at a blank spot on her wooden wall while her chest heaved with frustrated breaths.
"You are a menace, and I am going to ask the High Priestess to reconsider this terrible punishment tomorrow morning."
"Good luck with that," Kai chuckled, walking over to the single bed in the corner and testing the mattress with his hand. "But until then, we have a long night ahead of us. So are we sharing this bed, or do you want to take the floor?"
[Target intimacy rising through frustration.]
[Mana +10]
This was going to be the easiest levelling grind of his entire life.