I didn't stay in my room.
I couldn't.
My chest felt too tight.
My head too loud.
Before I could think twice…
I stood up.
And walked out.
Straight to her office.
I didn't knock.
I opened the door.
My mom looked up.
Calm as always.
"Call her," I said.
She frowned slightly.
"Andrew—"
"Call. Her."
My voice came out sharper this time.
She studied my face.
Then sighed.
"…You heard."
I didn't answer.
She picked up her phone.
And called.
The silence felt heavy.
Then—
"She's on the line."
She put it on speaker.
"Hello?" Sarah's voice came through.
My chest tightened.
"Sarah."
A pause.
"Oh… hey," she said.
Like nothing happened.
"How long?" I asked.
Silence.
"How long have you been talking to her?"
"…A while," she said.
"A while?"
I let out a small laugh.
It didn't sound right.
"So everything… all of it?"
She sighed.
Then her tone changed.
"Look… you were lonely."
I froze.
"You needed someone," she continued.
"And I was there."
My hands clenched slightly.
"So yeah," she went on,
"I did it."
My chest tightened.
"You were pathetic," she said flatly.
The room went silent.
"You had no one," she continued.
"You needed a friend, and I played the part."
Each word hit harder than the last.
"And honestly?" she added,
"you should be grateful."
Grateful.
"For what?" I asked quietly.
"For me staying," she said.
"Because without me, you would've been worse."
I couldn't respond immediately.
"I mean, look at you now," she continued.
"You're actually… something."
Something.
"Before?" she paused slightly,
"you were just… there."
That one hurt the most.
"So yeah, your mom paid me," she said.
"And I did my job."
No hesitation.
No guilt.
"That's what this was to you?" I asked.
"A job?"
"Yes."
That was it.
That was everything.
I nodded slowly.
Even though she couldn't see me.
"Okay," I said.
My voice felt empty now.
"Okay?" she repeated.
"Don't call me again."
A pause.
"Alright," she said.
Like it didn't matter.
I ended the call.
Silence.
Then something in me snapped.
I turned to my mom.
"You paid her?"
She didn't answer.
"You paid her to lie to me?!" I shouted.
"Andrew—"
"Don't call me that!"
My voice broke.
For the first time in months…
I stepped forward.
And grabbed her.
Not hard.
But enough.
"Do you even hear yourself?!" I shouted.
Tears were already falling.
"You took everything!"
"My name… my life… my friends…"
I let go suddenly.
My breathing was uneven now.
"I trusted her," I said, my voice shaking.
"And you knew."
She stayed calm.
Too calm.
"This was necessary," she said.
That word again.
Something in me broke even more.
"Necessary?!" I laughed, but it came out wrong.
"This is insane!"
I grabbed something from the table.
And threw it.
It hit the wall.
Loud.
I didn't stop.
Another thing.
Then another.
"You don't get to decide who I am!" I shouted.
"I'm not something you can fix!"
My voice echoed in the room.
She didn't react.
"You'll understand later," she said quietly.
That sentence.
Again.
I shook my head.
Laughing through tears.
"No…" I said.
"I won't."
I turned.
And walked out.
Fast.
By the time I reached my room…
my hands were shaking.
I shut the door.
Locked it.
And just stood there.
For a second…
everything was quiet.
Then it hit.
Everything.
I grabbed the nearest thing on my desk…
and threw it.
It hit the wall.
Hard.
I didn't stop.
Another thing.
Then another.
"Why?!" I shouted.
"Why?!"
My voice broke.
Tears blurred my vision.
"I didn't do anything…" I said.
"I didn't do anything to deserve this…"
My knees gave out.
I dropped to the floor.
And this time…
I didn't stop it.
I cried.
Not quietly.
Not controlled.
Just everything.
All at once.
I don't know how long it lasted.
Minutes.
Hours.
At some point…
I stopped.
Not because I felt better.
Just because I was empty.
Completely empty.
Days passed.
Then weeks.
I stopped reacting.
Stopped arguing.
Stopped asking questions.
I just did what I was told.
"Stand straight."
I did.
"Again."
I did.
"Fix it."
I fixed it.
Training.
Studying.
Routine.
Every day.
I didn't complain anymore.
I didn't feel like it mattered.
My voice changed.
Short.
Flat.
"Yes."
"No."
"Okay."
That was enough.
At some point…
she stopped repeating herself.
Because she didn't have to.
I was already listening.
Already obeying.
Already… changing.
Nights became quiet.
Not peaceful.
Just empty.
I didn't cry anymore.
I didn't call anyone.
And slowly…
without even realizing it…
I stopped trying to hold on.
And started becoming…
what they wanted.