"What are you guys up to?"
This is my place! Granted, the dragon head covers the rent, the electricity, the water… everything. But it's still my home!
"Hm. You can actually cook surprisingly well."
"Of course I can… Hey, stop changing the subject!"
"Hey Beatrix. Go home and eat the chefs' cooking."
"Huh? Chen, you dare give me orders? Baekhyun, another bowl!"
"Me too—another bowl."
"They say dragons and tigers are evenly matched, but you two are making a racket together. What kind of tyranny is this to inflict on someone living alone?"
My food is disappearing helplessly because of their power play. Especially the steamed egg—Talulah and Ling managed to snatch it when the two of them were bickering, quietly stashing portions in their mouths.
'See? I told you to add sugar. Everyone loves it.'
'...So what's left for me to eat?'
'There's none of that.'
My meal. My cooking. Damn it. I should've eaten with Jay instead.
"Hey, can I have just one more bowl too?"
"…What are you just standing there for? Serve mine too."
"…Haha. Such pretty and dreadful food parasites."
"Aww, I meant 'cute,' right?"
"No, you heard right."
They barged in and are just eyeing my food—they're dreadful creatures. How is 'cute' supposed to apply?
"Sigh… in the end there's nothing left for me to eat."
"Hahaha… well, the cooking was just too good…"
"Thanks for the compliment at least."
Well, I can always cook more.
"One more bowl!!"
How do I deal with these pigs wearing dragon and tiger masks?
"I'm done. Step aside. I'll at least help with the dishes."
Ling moved to the sink and helped with the cleanup. It was the first time I genuinely felt gratitude toward Ling.
'Actually they still barged in without permission.'
Still, someone who helps and someone who just eats—they at least look different. Like now.
"…Why are you staring so much?"
"Hm? Just… because you're pretty."
They say facial beauty types exist. Honestly, I don't trust it—some adorably cute as babies grow up plain, and others who are average as kids become stunning later—I've seen it in my gachas. But those four over there are definitely born beautiful.
"…You don't say that to just anyone."
"Huh? Ling, are you drawing a line with me? How on earth am I 'just anyone'?"
I'm hurt. Your father did try to kill me, but I thought we had become friends after all.
'The delusions of a friendless loner in any era… tsk tsk.'
'Owh. That hurts~'
'Why the sudden flippant tone?'
'I'm so pissed off~.'
'…Sigh, what a world this is.'
Seriously, who asked you to start this?
"Ling. Are you coming down with a cold?"
"…Just get quiet and cook."
"Aww, you're really drawing lines now."
"Baekhyun? What about me? What about me?"
"Food parasite. Sit still and eat. You'll flick rice everywhere."
"Hahaha! Food parasite lady? Please just sit and eat."
"Hey food parasite number two. You too."
"..."
"Haha! Hey food parasite number two, mind your own business."
"Dragon Gate profanity, you tiger are you?"
"Danguk profanity, you trying to clap back at a lady?"
"Hey, if you're going to fight in my house…"
srrring
"Mind if I join? I was just looking for a place to vent my anger."
Suddenly everyone went silent. Don't you all just hate fighting with me this much?!
"Oh dear… Baekhyun. I'll apologize for you. I'm sorry."
"Talulah… right. Got it."
"Wait? Why am I food parasite number two, but Talulah is just Talulah?"
"Because she wiped the table."
Talulah immediately noticed that Ling's dishwashing had softened my attitude toward her, and she promptly went to wipe the table.
"Then let me eat too…"
"You say you can get refills? One bowl right away then."
"…Well, I'm, you know, still growing. One more bowl…"
"One more bowl for me too!!!"
"…You lot really are pigs."
They're just all food parasites.
I was angry but held back. They say you can avoid even murder by showing patience three times. But rather than patience three times, it's probably easier to eliminate the one person who pissed me off, isn't it?
"Why does it seem like no one intends to leave?"
"Well, we decided not to leave, didn't we?"
"Ahaha, I see."
Good. Indeed, it's easier to kill one than to hold back three times.
"So Chen and Talulah, you two live right next door. Why did you come?"
"What's wrong with dropping by a friend's house?"
Usually you'd make contact before coming. You 37-year-old dragon.
"And you even ate my persimmons."
I shouldn't just drive guests off; rather, the backlash when I throw them out…
'Not only did you raid my persimmons, you turn me away! Haha, go die!'
'Baekhyun? It's true our nieces were rude, but is turning them away really a bit much?'
"I come from the Beatrix family. How dare you treat the lady this way? Take this, Tenma Death Beam!!"
Why do all these food parasites have some reputation for doing one thing or another?
"For a boy living alone, this place is too clean."
"Try living alone. Tidying every mess is a pain."
If you make a mess, eventually you'll have to clean it. Instead of doing a big job later, it's easier to tidy little messes all the time.
"Chen. At least learn something from Baekhyun."
"I-I'll manage it myself…"
I wonder if he actually will.
"So why does it sound like you all plan to stay the night? I don't have pajamas."
If I have to, I'll sleep in my National Sword uniform. It's more comfortable… and also reminds me of you all.
Ahchoo!
"Sniff… Are we all down with the common cold or something?"
"No, it's just that my nose suddenly got itchy…"
"A group cough like this, is it maybe!!!"
"Don Quixote. Do you have any suspicions?"
"Could it be that Baekhyun is missing us so much?!"
"It makes no sense."
"It doesn't."
"Don Sahaeng… that's a bit…"
"Would Faust do that?"
"Faust, I'd like to voice a dissenting opinion."
"Heeey! You guys are too cruel!"
"Even so… I would appreciate it if you could."
"Definitely feels like the energy just died out."
"…Baekhyun? Hey Baekhyun?"
"Huh? Oh, what?"
"We're borrowing clothes from Chen's house."
"…Huh? Wait, you're really going to sleep?"
"Then is there such a thing as someone who pretends to sleep? If I lock the door, I'll break it down."
'What yandere behavior…'
To say such deadly words without a second thought. Today's youth really.
'You're the biggest problem here.'
'Shut your mouth.'
Geez, is there anyone as decent as me?
"Enough, I need to change clothes too."
A pajama party…? It's my first in this life.
'Excited?'
'No, I want to be alone in my house.'
'Give it up, rookie.'
'Fuck. Why are you teasing me! I can't take it anymore!!!'
It was winter.