Abi wanted her gold with her ice cream. She proposed that at the end of the game, each player would get one ingot for every 63 points they had accumulated. Losers therefore got more gold than winners. As for the difficult denominator, dividing by ten was boring.
"Left Attendant will do the math," she shrugged.
Left Attendant inclined her head politely.
Abi asked Monsieur to stack the ingots on a side table. Purely by coincidence, the chosen location happened to be in the Tenth Prince's line of sight.
Play resumed.
Edrus was not distracted by the gold. Phooey! The imperative to win was stronger than shininess. More importantly, however, the tickle Abi felt whenever the assassin zoomed back around her corner of the Ancient Bailey lingered. As the assassin focused on a goal nearer to Abi (all that delicious ice cream and gold), the better she understood him.
The better she understood him, the more the label "assassin" felt too judgmental. He was a thief. Precisely what he wanted to steal remained unfocused in Abi's perceptions. Obviously the gold attracted him, but it wasn't what got him up to the Ancient Bailey in the first place.
Whatever did get him up there had to be one heckuva prize.
The Bailey's lowest cliffs were nearly twice as tall as the rest of the Mound. Situated at the far western edge of Bailey, the massive Kurgan Arkha was the first keep built by the ancient giants twenty thousand years ago. Its spire was a thousand feet taller than everything around it.
That gave the Ancient Arsenal Garrison inside great visual coverage. The Garrison mostly kept its eyes on the eminent dignitaries housed in the Bailey. Abi waved in the tower's direction. Though presented as an honor, housing people in the Bailey was also a way for Emperors to keep them "closer to Heaven" — and out of circulation.
The thief had chosen the most difficult terrain in the capital to target. That terrain was occupied by people dangerous enough for Emperors to keep their most elite soldiers close and vigilant.
"Esteemed colleagues," said Edrus. "Abi must draw four cards."
Abi leaned forward in her rocking chair and slammed one small, chubby hand against the table.
"Hubris undoes so many heroes!" she said.
The audience anticipated an entertaining tantrum. They got an awkward thud followed by a startled cry. All heads turned toward the noise. A pungent thief lay on the ground, arms and legs out wide. His body was being crushed first by gravity. Nhao jumped onto the thief's lower back — and extended his kirin claws slightly.
"Abi!" cried Richan. "There's a thief lying on the ground next to our gold!"
"There is indeed, Richan," agreed Abi. "Hubris!"
"Oh, I see!" said Hermes. "I thought you meant Edrus telling you to draw four cards."
"I was talking both about Edrus and this pungent interloper, Hermes," said Abi.
"What about Edrus?" asked Richan.
"She is implying that I am overconfident," said Edrus. "Like this thief."
"It isn't overconfidence," insisted the thief.
"What is it?" asked Richan.
"A misunderstanding," said the thief.
He was remarkably attractive. Abi was accustomed to pretty boys. Although the Charlatan Emperor chose his consorts for their battlefield prowess, not connections or appearance, the royal offspring were in excellent shape and gleamed more than most mortal men and women. Hermes was the Elven demigod of cute, but the thief possessed a more grown-up beauty.
He wasn't completely grown-up, however. Like Jihûn, he was somewhere in his late teens — and only an inch or two taller than twelve-year-old Edrus. The thief wore immodest clothing which flattered his wiry, stringing, sharp muscles. Where Jihûn's expansive, buoyant, puffy muscles had puffy muscles of their own, the thief's stringy muscles cut down into the form of his body.
"What is there to misunderstand?" asked Edrus.
It was a duel of handsome voices. Edrus sounded studious and assured. The thief sounded like maple syrup oozing over pancakes.
"Answering the Young Lord," oozed the thief. "I was admiring your gold. I've never seen so much shininess in one place."
Abi reclined in her chair.
"Monsieur?" she asked.
"Mademoiselle?"
"The effort to play cards has tired me out. Could you move my rocking chair next to the thief?"
"Certainly."
The Elven automaton picked up Abi's chair with her in it. The thief tried to wiggle away from the spot where anticipated the chair being placed.
He managed to move about half-an-inch.
"You were right, Nhao!" said Abi. "He does smell good despite not bathing."
"Who wouldn't want to take a bath?" asked Richan. "Hot water feels so good."
"Answering the Young Lord," said the thief. "Hot water is in short supply for many people."
Abi began to rock. The sound of the chair built anticipation. How would she punish the thief? Sink him into the ground like Old Red Bird?
"What is your name, thief?" she asked.
"Answering the Young Lady," said the maple syrup oozing over pancakes, "I am an admirer, not a thief. Fans call me Maurice Lupin. Perhaps you've heard of my exploits?"
"Lupin?" asked Abi. "You are the scion of a great half-elven family?"
"What does 'scion' mean?" asked Maurice.
"Ah! You are the Great Turtle's grandson," said Abi. "That makes you the scion of at least something great. You are also… a disciple of Jian Peak Abbey."
"A gigolo?" gasped Richan.
"Who taught you that word?" asked Abi.
"Edrus."
"Who taught you?"
"Consort Yeon is fond of the term," said Edrus. "I agree our admirer looks like a gigolo. But I'm not seeing a relationship with the Great Turtle. He couldn't weigh more than a Gargogryeon's leg?"
"I am a celebrated jewel thief," said Maurice Lupin. "A few people might have suggested I am associated with Jian Peak Abbey, on account of my great beauty. It isn't something I advertise, however. The Young Lady is well informed."
"You have no idea," said Edrus.
"And as the Young Lord pointed out," said Lupin, "I am much too delicate to be related to any hulking barbarians."
"There is a Warakirikoban community in Gargogryeo," said Left Attendant.
"Jian Peak Abbey's lightness techniques are impressive," said Abi. "But how could one of the Great Turtle's Warakirikoban grandsons be foolish enough to steal from the Ancient Bailey?"
"Attractive people know they will receive sympathy if caught," said Edrus.
Abi looked at the Tenth Prince suspiciously.
"Is that so?" she asked.
"The Young Lord is also remarkably handsome," said Maurice magnanimously.
Edrus glowed. It was clear to Abi he enjoyed being complimented by a cool jewel thief. The situation wasn't dangerous, exactly, but Maurice was not as helpless as he looked despite being pinned against the ground. Jian Peak Abbey was famous for dispatching enemies with flashing swords. It was even more famous, however, for winning fights before they began with glamor.
"Attractiveness won't work," said Abi.
"You haven't banished him to Hell yet," said Edrus.
"Purgatory," corrected Abi.
Maurice tried to move his body through space without touching any points in between. Quick teleportation steps were a signature of Jian Peak Abbey's strongest cultivators. Still, Lupin only managed to get a few feet. Most creatures would have been thrown off by a teleport, but Nhao went along for the ride.
"Just once," said the kirin puppy, "I would like to actually eat a bad guy."
"The Young Lords and Ladies are formidable," Maurice conceded.
Monsieur picked up Abi's chair, and set her down near Maurice's new position.
"You are looking for a sword but got distracted by gold," she said.
"The Young Lady is more than remarkably well informed," said Lupin.
"You have no idea," said Edrus. "What sword is he looking for?"
"He has no idea," said Abi. "But will get one once he sees it. That's what his Abbot told him."
"I'm confident no one else was in that room," said Maurice.
"You've brought everything in that room here," said Abi, "into my room."
"The Young Lady is…?" asked Maurice.
"She's Abi d'Ilga!" said Richan.
"From a great half-elven family," added Edrus.
"Are there really such things in the world?" asked Maurice.
"I see!" said Abi.
"I don't see!" said Richan.
"Jian Peak Abbot wants to claim the currently vacant title Sword Saint," said Abi. "He believes a weapon that will help him achieve that goal is in the Capital."
"Young Lady," said Maurice. "Sometimes it is better not to know."
Edrus snorted.
"The Young Lady has ordered the Emperor off the Mound," he said. "Jian Peak Abbot will be distressed to learn you've interrupted her card game."
Maurice laughed.
"Order the Emperor," he said. "That's…."
Nhao's claws shut him up.
"I admit I'm not impressive," said Maurice.
"You are impressive," said Abi. "Only impressive people are destroyed by hubris."
"My master is no joke."
"He can be Sword Saint for all I care," said Abi. "But stealing from me is not acceptable."
"I came up here on my own," insisted Lupin.
"And he is still alive," said Edrus.
Abi rocked for a few moments.
"Dragon Turtle Society is the world's top tomb-raiding cartel," she said. "It is well-positioned to help your Abbot. Leveraging your relationship, you asked the Ogre Queen for tips…."
"Young Lady," said Maurice. "Madame Wu cooks people who call her that."
Edrus snorted again.
"You didn't tell Madame Wu the whole story," said Abi. "You told her that you'd heard rumors of an ancient sword lost in the capital. She told you that if there's a lost ancient sword anywhere, it's in the Ancient Arsenal."
"I'm pretty sure I was alone with Madame Wu in that room too."
"Now everything in that room is in mine," said Abi. "But that's not important. You've been zooming around looking for a way into the Kurgan Arkha. Even for the celebrated jewel thief Maurice Lupin… that's too bold."
"It was going all right."
"Until Abi caught you!" said Richan. "Is that what hubris means?"
"Yes," said Edrus.
"In my experience," said Nhao, "things that smell good taste good."
"Maybe I can be useful!" said Maurice.
"How?" asked Edrus.
"I have no idea," conceded Maurice. "But the Young Lady has one."
Abi clapped.
"Of all the glamor-using sects," she said, "Jian Peak's gigolos are most dangerous because they are naturally charming."
"How can this smelly thief be useful?" asked Edrus.
"If the Young Lord has a bath handy," said Lupin, "I would be happy to freshen up."
"The thief has already been useful," said Left Attendant.
Abi clapped again. Then she climbed out of her rocking chair and collected a gold ingot. She then set the ingot down in front of Maurice's large, handsome eyes.
"You didn't tell Madame Wu everything," she said. "Madame Wu reciprocated. She might expected you to die up here. You're a freeloader, after all, paying with connections instead of cash."
"I'm temporarily inconvenienced."
"I'm glad you haven't tried to play goofy nincompoop," said Abi. "If you had, I would have asked Nhao to eat you."
"There's still time!" said Nhao.
"Take this gold," continued Abi. "Get yourself a private room. There's a timid painter living in that flophouse with you."
"It's some old lord's mansion," said Maurice. "It's full of starving scholars preparing for exams. Many practice painting."
"There's one in particular," said Abi. "He draws people as natural landscapes."
"Sure," agreed Maurice. "I know him."
"Invite him to move into your private room."
"What's the point of a shared private room? Are you thinking naughty thoughts?"
"Absolutely not!" protested Abi.
"You might have it a bit right," Edrus told Maurice.
"Monsieur Lupin!" said Abi.
"Is that me?" Maurice asked asked Edrus.
"That's you."
"Did you tell Madame Wu everything?" asked Abi.
"No."
"Did Madame Wu tell you everything?"
"No."
"Will I tell you everything?"
"No."
"Will you do what I tell you anyway?"
"Yes."
Abi released her gravity field. Nhao was not ready to surrender his perch, however. The kirin puppy curled up in Lupin's back.
"If I take a short nap," Nhao said, "I can at least dream about eating him."