Bang.
"What are you all doing?"
Hiruzen Sarutobi slammed a pile of completed mission scrolls onto the desk.
Across from him stood the four jōnin team leaders—Orochimaru, Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Sakumo Hatake—all looking extremely awkward.
"I assigned you to lead those geniuses so they could run around catching cats, chasing dogs, and cleaning streets? Do you even realize that because of what you've done, countless genin in Konoha have no missions left to take?"
"Over a thousand missions! Your four teams wiped them all out in just three days! And many of those missions can be issued repeatedly, but you completed them all in one go—dredging rivers, clearing garbage mountains, even catching a noblewoman's cat…"
"If those missions disappear, how do you expect Konoha to support the thousands of genin in this village? Huh? Speak!"
Fat Cat: I'm not running anymore. Never again. The moment I step outside, I get caught within a minute. I can't even take a walk. They stake out my house waiting for me—do they think this cat is stupid? I'll just stay home and never go out again. So what if I eat ten meals a day? I'll eat my owner into bankruptcy. Then I'll finally be free. That's the right path. Freedom… just wait. One day I'll see you.
Freedom: Please take a number first. Every day people, animals, and even things that aren't really things come looking for me. I'm very busy.
The four jōnin team leaders scratched their heads awkwardly.
Each of them had the same thought.
Can you really blame us?
These kids are just too useful.
A single D-rank mission—more than a dozen completed in an hour. They used ninjutsu for everything. The speed was unbelievable. If traveling between locations didn't take so long, the entire mission board would have been cleared out in two days.
One D-rank mission pays at least several thousand ryo, sometimes over ten thousand. After a few hundred missions, it's easy to earn more than a million ryo.
An A-rank mission only pays about a million, but it takes time and effort. How could that compare to this? Just keep accepting missions and the money rolls in.
Where else could you find such a good deal?
Of course you'd want to earn as much as possible.
Hiruzen could tell exactly what they were thinking.
"All of you… you've completed hundreds of B-rank missions, dozens of A-rank missions, and not a few S-rank missions. Are you really that short on money?"
Sakumo Hatake said calmly, "My child will be born soon. I wanted to earn some milk-powder money."
Orochimaru added, "One of my research projects needs funding. I've applied to the village several times, but it hasn't been approved."
Hiruzen's face darkened with black lines.
Your reasons actually make sense…
Tsunade said bluntly, "I ran out of gambling money. I need to earn more."
Jiraiya sighed. "Someone went gambling and then tried to rob me when she ran out of money. Now I'm broke too, so I have to earn some."
You're actually pretty pitiful.
"Tsunade!"
"Uh… right, I'm going to pick up a B-rank mission. These kids need more training anyway. Bye, old man."
As soon as she finished speaking, she dashed out like a gust of wind.
Damn it.
We agreed to make money together, but now you all have legitimate excuses—what am I supposed to do?
Tsunade thought bitterly while running.
We started out committing crimes together like some underworld gang, and now all of you suddenly cleaned up your reputations. What about me? A bunch of traitors!
The remaining people looked at each other.
Should we run too?
Staying here seemed troublesome.
"I'd like to see who dares run."
Hiruzen slammed the table and shouted.
What kind of disciples did I even accept?
And you too, Sakumo Hatake. When you were in the ANBU you weren't like this. It's only been a few days since you left—how did you turn into this?
Have you forgotten your original intentions?
"Here. Take these missions and complete them properly. And deliver Tsunade's mission to her as well."
Orochimaru opened the scroll and read:
"Exterminate bandits."
"Escort a merchant caravan from the Land of Fire."
"Eliminate a rogue ninja."
"Investigate intelligence along the border."
"Take a look. How should we divide them?"
Orochimaru spoke first.
"I'll take the bandit extermination mission. The boys in my class need to see some blood."
Jiraiya said, "Then give me the rogue-ninja elimination mission. I'm used to that kind of work."
He thought of the boy with the bright sunny smile and silently hoped this experience wouldn't break his spirit.
Sakumo Hatake smiled.
"I'll take the rogue-ninja job."
He was extremely familiar with it. After so many years in the ANBU, it was practically all he had done. Since this was his first time being a teacher, it was best to start with something he was confident about.
"Then the escort mission can go to Tsunade. The border is too far away—she probably wouldn't want that one."
Within moments, the missions were neatly divided. Everyone looked satisfied.
Tsunade: Seriously? Every time I leave, you people assign missions behind my back?
...
The next day.
Tsunade stared at the three people in front of her.
"I remember correctly—you're only genin, right? Then why are you wearing the tactical vests reserved for chūnin?"
"Lady Tsunade, you must be mistaken," said Senju Hideki. "These are special vests used by the Uchiha Police Force. See? They're dark blue. Konoha's standard vests are green."
He adjusted the vest while speaking.
It was a bit tight and uncomfortable.
One bad review for the Uchiha Manufacturing Department.
Uchiha Manufacturing Department: Has it ever occurred to you that we never intended to design armor for someone over two meters tall?
"That's still strange. Police Force vests—how did you get them?"
Tsunade continued questioning.
"I'm a jōnin now and I only have one standard vest. Yours look even better than mine. Back when I was a genin, what did I have? Sorry—nothing at all. Just my fists. Comparing it like this makes me seem pitiful."
"Kamito got them for us. He just said, 'Wear them for now. If they break, I'll replace them.'"
Hmm.
Are the Uchiha really that close with each other? A vest worth over a hundred thousand ryo, and they just hand them out?
There were more than a dozen people in their group, right? And some close friends who didn't even participate in team assignments.
The Uchiha sure are generous.
...
Last night.
The person responsible for the Uchiha inventory warehouse leaned against the wall, his blood-red three-tomoe Sharingan open.
His body was covered in blood—cuts from blades and scorch marks from fire.
He was clearly badly injured.
But his eyes were filled with excitement.
Watching Uchiha Kamito pick through the vests, he burst out laughing.
"Take whatever you want, Uchiha Kamito! If there's something you like, take it no matter what! Hahahahaha! You are a true Uchiha!"
"At the next Uchiha clan meeting, if you want a higher position, I'll definitely vote for you! Hahahaha—cough—hahahaha!"
Kamito glanced sideways at him.
Another crazy Uchiha.
Then he continued picking out vests.
...
Land of Fire.
At an unknown bandit hideout deep in the mountains.
The ground was covered with bodies.
Arms and legs lay everywhere.
Among more than a hundred bandits, you couldn't even piece together a single complete arm or leg.
"AAAAAA! You bastard! If you have the guts, kill me!"
"Ah!"
"Ahhh!"
The bandits' screams rose and fell one after another.
"Don't move. You should lie down right there. Please don't ruin the formation."
Minato Namikaze smiled brightly as he spoke gently, kindly persuading the bandits to cooperate.
Beside him, Jiraiya's jaw nearly hit the ground.
"Minato… aren't you supposed to be a sunshine-smiling good boy?"