A famous quote becomes nonsense and eighth-grader syndrome when a guy like you says it.
—Someone
***
Smack.
That bastard's head was completely crushed by my Ultra Capsong Justice Club.
"You won't be able to do bad things ever again, will you?"
Today, too, I purified the world by dirtying my hands. The redder my two hands become, the cleaner the world will be!!
'Ah! I still haven't done that yet. If I don't do that, I'm not a hero, right? Right?'
I grabbed that bastard's stiffly raised school uniform collar. Then I performed the final ritual.
"In the name of justice, I have judged you. So don't resent me even when you go to hell. Hmm... I feel more sorry for King Yama of hell though. I sent him another piece of trash like you, making dirty hell even dirtier. You know. Kekekek."
Ah, magnificent. Damn.
Though it's a parody of a line from the comic Justice Man, I added the words at the end. Doesn't this mean half the copyright belongs to me?
And you know what? These words suit a real-life hero like me much better than a gloomy guy like Justice Man. Right?
I laughed once, low and righteously, then carved the letters 'ㅈ' and 'J' on both cheeks of this future villain with a knife and left the scene.
Joyful. Refreshing. Feeling great.
I feel like I've accomplished everything. This is really why I do hero work. Right?
The satisfaction of having dealt with one piece of trash in the world who doesn't even deserve to breathe makes my footsteps even lighter.
Lalalala~~
That evening.
I was watching the news while eating the tasteless dinner my mom prepared. As expected, the news was splendidly introducing my brilliant achievements.
"Consumer prices for the sixth month..."
The announcer's idiotic comments that repeat every day—pass. What I'm watching is the white font at the bottom of the TV.
[This morning at 9 AM in Jungnang-gu... Middle schooler Lee was discovered dead.]
Seeing that article, I shrugged my shoulders in delight.
"Justice always wins. Heh heh heh."
Smack.
"Stop your damn nonsense. Justice my ass. Oh ghost uncles, aunties. Please take this bastard away and knock some sense into him."
"Ah, why are you hitting me? What gives you, Mom, the right to hit my head? Huh?"
Smack.
Mom's fist came down on my head like a missile once more. But no matter how lightning-fast the motion, I could see it very well. However, I deliberately didn't dodge it.
Bickering with Mom like this in daily life, and not dodging fists I could easily avoid.
All of these are types of camouflage, you know.
Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, Iron Man... Hmm, Iron Man's a bit off. Then let's leave that out. Anyway, all those bastards are masters of disguise and camouflage. Of course, the best among them is Hentai Kamen. Right?
Damn, I'm jealous.
When I suddenly thought of Hentai Kamen, who purifies the world wearing women's panties on his head, my lower body started to feel stiff.
'Ah, when I watch hero shows, there's always one absolutely gorgeous heroine next to each hero! But what about me? Damn it. Next to me, there's only my demon-like mom.'
For a moment, I felt wronged. Then Mom, who was looking at my face, threw her fist at my head once more.
Smack.
"Hey, you brat. Tomorrow, go do some day labor or something and bring home at least a grain of rice. Don't just laze around at home every day wasting rice when you're over thirty years old. If you come home empty-handed tomorrow too, we're both going to die, so keep that in mind, got it? Got it?"
This time too, I didn't dodge Mom's fist and allowed it. Keuk! As expected, Mom's fist was stronger than any villain's in the world. Even though it was an action to deceive my family, if I allowed any more, my life would be in danger.
I immediately stopped the trivial action of eating and stood up to return to my justice hideout.
'As long as I'm alive, justice in the world is alive. Peace.'
Smack.
"Finish your food before going to jerk off, you brat."
"..."
To so easily figure out a hero's next action.
As expected, my mom was befitting of a hero's mom...
***
After enduring Mom's nagging and finishing my meal, I triumphantly returned to my hideout and placed the 4 bills of 10,000 won and 7 bills of 50,000 won I obtained from punishing evil beside my computer. With this much, I shouldn't have to worry about activity funds for about three or four days. With this, Mom won't be able to stop my hero activities for a while either.
"Anyway, these days villain bastards carry around so much damn money. It's all the money they extorted from other kids. Dog-like bastards. They should all be killed."
I was enraged. The large sum that a normal middle schooler absolutely couldn't possess was undeniable evidence of evil deeds.
'A-awesome! Shit!'
My appearance faintly reflected on the computer screen was killer. I flashed a handsome smile of triumph at the computer and pressed the power button.
Bbeep—
This Pentium 4 supercomputer is like my assistant that tells me where villains are. Should I say it's a grateful machine that always guides me to the hall of villains~
"Now, which trash is dwelling somewhere I can pick today?"
Usually, trash live wearing masks. But on the internet, they reveal their true colors without filter.
My main job is to weed out and eliminate such trash. That work is very annoying and difficult, but it gives me that much satisfaction. And if not a hero like me, who else would do such work?
National Assembly members? Police? Prosecutors?
Not even close.
Those bastards are all the hidden backers of evil. Look at movies, dramas, comics, novels. Their true appearance is clearly revealed there.
Though I don't have the leisure to punish them yet, someday I will definitely bring down justice's hammer on those bastards!
I struck a magnificent pose with my fist clenched for a moment, then began searching for villains in earnest.
Weekly Best, This Month's Humor, Funny Middle School, Medit...
I skimmed through posts on sites where trash mainly roam freely. Ah, of course, not all humans on these sites are trash. Trash are a very small minority, and I have the ability to filter out such bastards.
Sometimes I see posts in bright red letters, and that's precisely the mark of villains. I didn't know at first either, but because posts that appeared in red letters all had the common trait of being full of profanity and consonant-only typing, I tracked the authors of those posts and could conclude they were all villains.
I awakened this ability three months ago.
One night, I came home after drinking and, as usual, turned on my computer to check comments when I awakened.
And.
From that day, I became a hero.
In three months, I dealt with over ten villains, and strangely, they were all middle schoolers. My ability was probably one that preemptively weeds out villains who would become big in the future.
That made it even better. Isn't that a more important and difficult task? These days, students are scarier. Who could handle their group beatings?
They're invincible. Who could handle those bastards except me? Right?
Like that, today I found another villain.
The comment that bastard left appeared in red to my eyes as always.
[Hey you X-eating bastard. Today too, did you eat and have nothing to do so you're jerking off and reflecting? Kekekeke]
With that, that bastard's fate was decided.
Justice Man, dispatch! Peace!
***
I traced that bastard's IP and tracked his ID.
This work is no ordinary difficult task. Unless one is a super ultra super-special Magnus genius like me, no one could accomplish it.
After spending several days on it, I finally found out that bastard's school and home.
Then I observed for several more days. No matter how much I detected the signal, this was a process to thoroughly verify whether that bastard was really villain material worth killing or not.
And finally, I decided to kill that bastard. That bastard really deserved to die. I observed for several days, and none of his classmates talked to him.
How scary must that bastard be for that to happen? Right?
That bastard even went to and from home alone. That bastard was really meticulous. He only revealed his true colors when he went home and when he was fiddling with his phone. Every time without fail, red-lined posts went up on the Weekly Best site.
'I can't stand by and watch that bastard's evil deeds any longer.'
I decided to transform into Justice Man that very day. The execution time would be when that bastard returned home from the academy.
10 PM.
That bastard had finished academy and was passing through an alley to go home. After confirming no one was around, I approached from behind and swung my Justice Club.
Thud.
A loud sound rang out and that bastard collapsed to the ground.
But.
Strangely, my vision was red. Why is this happening? Have I awakened not just on the computer but in reality too?
With that thought as my last, I lost consciousness.
***
Bullied Killer J.
Dong Bong-su had finally caught the bastard he'd been chasing for the past few months.
Killer J was the nickname given because he left the initials J and ㅈ on his victims' cheeks.
For someone with no job, that bastard was quite meticulous and cruel. Among the prey Dong Bong-su had encountered so far, he was quite high in difficulty. And his behavior was very malicious by ordinary people's standards.
As the nickname suggested, that bastard hunted only by targeting the bullied. Middle school bullied at that.
Meeting that bastard in person today, he discovered one truly peculiar point. It was a characteristic clearly different from other prey he had hunted until now.
By modern society's standards, that bastard's eyes, which committed anti-humanitarian crimes without a care, were surprisingly clear. It wasn't that kind of transparency without any emotion like himself. That bastard's eyes were truly shining with a sense of justice.
Unless it was perfect camouflage he had never seen in his life, that bastard was... truly a 'crazy bastard' overflowing with justice.
However,
It didn't matter much to Dong Bong-su anyway. It was just a very slight lesson, nothing special. To him, that bastard was just another piece of prey.
Dong Bong-su hoisted that bastard and loaded him into his car parked near the scene.
Vroom.
The car disappeared.
The hero disappeared too.
The world became dark again.
And.
Dong Bong-su was still wandering the city searching for prey in the darkness.