The Secret in His Pocket
He looked at the large calendar on his wall. It's been exactly one month now since he first step on the island. The red circle on a specific date before his arrival in this country made him reminisce the way he drank the Veridion compound. His brow twitch at the remembrance of all the hurt and depression he had experience in the past months and how it all led to that decision. He could've just gone to a psychiatrist or should've taken a vacation like now, but he shut himself off from everyone for weeks. He got admitted to the hospital a few times before for many different reasons too. But all of those memories seemed to be long gone since he started spending time here on this island. He almost forgot the reason he's here. Adrian can't help but grab a wine bottle and sat on the sofa, musing over his past.
It was not more than five months ago when all the misfortune came raining down on his life. His mother, who has been battling a long-term illness, was once again admitted to the hospital and later, on the ICU. He already has a fight with his then fiancée before the news came and he had to rush to the hospital to support his father. Fortunately, his mom started to recover a bit over the few weeks and was returned to a normal room as he and his father swap in taking care of her. His work lagged behind within those weeks and even if the producer he understood the situation he's in, it is still obvious how his problem became a hindrance to the work time of others, too.
He tried his best to finish the work as soon as possible and meet the deadline for the book all the while trying his best to help his father and mending his relationship with his fiancée. It was at the day of his last meeting to his Max, submitting and talking about the finalization of the book did he had the time to go back to the apartment he and his fiancée live in. When he opened the door, he was shocked to come across few clothes on the floor. The apartment was a mess. Junk food packaging everywhere, the crumbs, the clothes, the plastic bottles, and even the sink has a pile of dirty dishes and spoiled food. He can't help but smack his face and rub it harshly on the reality in front of him. He had always maintained their apartment clean and neat as he had always had the habit, but it was never in his wildest dream that his girlfriend was such a mess. It was literally a turn off as a thought cross his mind that maybe he should not marry her.
He calls for her name but no one answer. The apartment was empty. He started to clean up the place even though he was lacking in sleep, hadn't eaten yet, and was very tired from everything he has to do that day. He cleaned everything, do the laundry, the dishes, empty the fridge of the expired food, change the bedsheets, clean the bathroom, and disinfect the whole apartment. It looked like everything; every mess was left like that for a few days. He tried calling her number a few times while cleaning, but she never answered. It was not until he started cleaning the counter of the entry way that he noticed a letter envelope. It was from her. When he opened it, something fell from the envelope along with the letter.
"I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, about us, and everything that has happened. And I don't think I can face you and say all this in person so I decided to put it into words. We shared lot of memories and have been together for long. I know I should be the one understanding you and to be by your side while you were going through a lot. But when you were gone, when I was alone in this apartment, I realized that you've done so much for me. So much that I couldn't even do anything for myself. You mean a lot to me and I am grateful for all the memories we shared, but I have realized how dependent I am to you. I can't do anything for myself, let alone for you. I cannot bear to be another burden to you. I am sorry. I know I left a great mess of this place right now, but I can't take another moment there by myself.
I loved you. I really had loved you. But spending days alone there, I asked myself if we were just tolerating each other, being together for the sake of being together, and just being accustomed to each other rather than really wanting to spend our life together. And I believe it was time for us to let go and continue our journeys separately. Please know I really do love you. But it's time to say goodbye. I know you'll do well and I wish you all the best.
Goodbye and take care."
Adrian kneels down and with a trembling hand picks up the engagement ring he gave her. Just then, he noticed how his other hand had already crumpled the letter. A second later, there was someone knocking on his door, urgent knocks while also ringing the doorbell.
"Adrian! Open the door please!" It was his father's voice. He immediately got up and open the door for him. He was a mess. His eyes were a bit puffy and visible dried tears are on his cheeks.
"Dad? What happened? Why are you he-," he hadn't finished his words when his dad pulled him out of his apartment in a hurry.
"We have to go to your mother now, they just called and she was in the ICU again." He was trembling – his hands and his voice were. Adrian shook off his hand and goes back to the apartment to grab his car key and lock the door. They immediately got his own car and rush to the hospital. On their way there, he was driving fast as he cannot let his father drive when he's already in a mess and it was not a few minutes on the highway when his father received a call. After seconds of silence, his father started to cry loud in agony all the while repeating the words, "no, please no.." and my mother's name.
Adrian's heart was beating loudly and he felt pain as he hears his father's cry. He now knew. His mom did not make it. His eyes started to fog but he tried his best to control his emotion as they're on the highway. But everything turned black all of sudden. He hears the continuous beeping of his car, some shouting around him, and the pain on is head. He grits his teeth through the pain as he tries to open his eyes to see what just happened. He saw the shattered glass on his car, and the gray road on his eye level. He turned his head a bit and saw his father with blood everywhere and his eyes shut. He tried to muster his voice and calls for his dad but he's not responding but he can still see his father's chest moving – he's still breathing. That was the only thing he remembered before passing out again.
Looking back at what he had just experienced, Adrian can't help but chug the remaining wine straight from the glass. There were no tears on his eyes, but he can feel a throbbing pain on his temple and near his eyes. His teeth grinds as his jaw tightens while trying to control his emotions. He wants to cry so bad, but there was nothing but pain that comes out of him. He remembers waking up few days after the car crash and knowing that he was the only survivor. His dad didn't make it to the hospital as one of his ribs punctured his lungs and heart. He had lost his parents at the same time. He was left all alone. He had lost it all.
Adrian stares back at the coat hanging on his wall. Already drunk, he made his way, although stumbling a bit, to the coat and place his hand on the inner pocket. He pulled out all the thing hidden inside – the engagement ring, and the almost half-melted white tablet. One of the Veridion compound he had grabbed it fully melted on the water at the airport bathroom sink.