[Number 1 Salsa, gonna have a nude dance!]
[Get lost, dimwit!]
The battlefield is hell.
Everyone is caught up in the madness and loses their mind.
It was the same case for those taverns.
[Who the heck would be happy seeing a naked dude! I'm gonna kill you, Salsa!]
[I- I'm sorry! Please forgive me!]
[Newbies really can't do anything right.]
To celebrate today's great victory, as he had declared, Platoon Leader threw a party.
As the sun was setting and the visibility was getting worse, a small bonfire was built in our trench and a small banquet was started.
Platoon Leader Garback, who was the last to appear, held in his hand bottles of liquor and sweets, scarce commodities on the battlefield.
[I ain't got no liquor to give to boring people. If you don't want a bullet up your asshole, get your ass out of here!]]
[I'm sorry!]
A few minutes into the party, Platoon Leader had already opened a bottle of strong alcohol and looked quite content, a blush on his face.
Then, he started jokingly kicking the platoon members, including Salsa-kun.
If I could, I wouldn't want to be anywhere nearby while Platoon Leader Garback is like that.
[For a rookie, you can't even do a decent performance!? You picking a fight or what!?]
[Please forgive me.]
Though he said that, he had ordered Salsa and I to do a performance. If I disobeyed what he said here, I would be executed for violating orders twice.
I don't want to be executed for such a stupid order. I want to believe that he was just joking.
[Ahahaha. You might think it was an outrageous request, but this happening isn't just in our squad; it's a tradition done in various squads.]
[Well, Platoon Leader is very strict about the performances though.]
[If your performance displeases me, I'll seriously beat you up and bury you 6 feet under!]
I certainly heard that party performances are the duty of newcomers. It was the same case in my previous life.
However, including my previous life, I have never experienced drinking parties like this.
And so, I was at a loss as to what to do. Thereupon, Salsa-kun suddenly raised his hand and blurted out something stupid again, leading to Platoon Leader yelling at him.
[If you're not useful on the battlefield, then you can at least contribute in a situation like this!]
[Umm, Going by what you said, does that mean I should also undress and dance...]
I really hope Salsa-kun will be able to learn how to read the room.
If he dances naked and things start getting weird, the one turning into a victim here would be the woman, me.
Of course, I understand that if I were told to choose between being shot to death or dancing naked, I'd choose to dance, but to be honest, I'd still prefer if they'd excuse me from either of those.
[No one freaking wanna see a seedy runt's body! What, anyone wanna see it!? Come out and say it, Imma kill you myself!]
[My apologies.]
After being yelled at by the Platoon Leader, I felt a bit relieved. Judging by their response, it seemed I might escape any weird requests.
They were shouting stuff like "We don't wanna see a nude guy!", so I thought I might be coerced into a performance along those lines.
[Either way, if you don't have any performances prepared, I'll just exempt Touri out of this. Salsa, do something interesting.]
[...…. I'd like you to excuse me out of that naked dance, but even though this might be self-praise, I do have one.]
[Oh, what, Touri? You got something?]
There are only so many performances one can do in a place like this with no props or anything.
Fortunately, I have a trick that I learned from one of the sisters when I was in the orphanage, so I'll get through this with that.
"Kon kon, Fox-san here. Ruf ruf, Dog-san here."
[Oh, ventriloquism huh. Aren't you a good one?]
"Kon kon, ruf ruf."
I made the shapes of a dog and a fox with the fingers of my hand, and made them squeak without moving my lips.
How nostalgic, I used to play this with the children in the orphanage.
I actually used to do it with dolls, but I don't have any at hand, so I just use my hands instead.
[Hehh, you're very skillful at that. You change your voice with each of them, and your mouth isn't moving at all.]
[Touri-chan is cute when she imitates those sounds. I think it's good enough, Platoon Leader.]
"Ruf ruf, we will then sing you a song."
[Heehhh... You're even gonna sing like that huh.]
I'm quite confident in this performance.
Heck, I was even considering becoming a traveling entertainer before I was asked to volunteer for the army.
" [ Baaaaask your light upon us (upon us), mine fatherlaaaaand. ] "
[Eh, I can hear two voices.]
" [ Upon the braaaaave and the peerless (and peerless), blessings from our ancestors' divine haaaaand (divine haaaaand). ] "
[Wait, Touri-chan, you've started making a chorus all by yourself!]
[Amazing, she's harmonizing while ventriloquizing! Gahahahaha!]
I sang a well-known military song using ventriloquism, echoing in the same manner.
After long practice, I was able to change my voice tone and sing with two voices at the same time.
This performance earned me the nickname "Ventriloquist Touri" at the orphanage, where I always received applause and cheers.
[That's all. Apologies for the crude performance.]
[Ohh, that was great. Here, your reward. You're still a brat though, so you're getting chocolate instead of booze!]
[Thank you for your generous praise, Platoon Leader-dono.]
[I always properly give praise to those who are capable, gahahahaha!]
Fortunately, Platoon Leader didn't seem to be in a bad mood.
Rather, he even seemed to be in a good mood, smiling broadly and patting me on the head.
Ahh, thank goodness. Art really does bring bread to oneself huh.
[Touri... You betrayed me...]
[How did I betray you?
For some reason though, Salsa looked at me with a resentful look on his face.
If there's anyone betraying others here, it's you who almost made me dance naked.
[So, Salsa, what about you?]
[...…. For the time being, I'm gonna strip...]
[Get your nude performance out of here, I'll kill you.]
After that, he kept saying stupid things, resulting in him being repeatedly assigned muscle training like "100 pushups, 100 squats, 100 sit-ups... etc.", and he was completely exhausted at the halfway point of the drinking party.
It seems that on the battlefield, instead of wearing out newcomers with valuable alcohol, it's customary to wear them out physically.
If I didn't have any trick and refused to dance naked, I would have faced the same outcome as him.
[....]
[Platoon Leader. I request permission to massage Salsa so he can properly move tomorrow.]
[Suit yourself.]
If left alone, he will have sore muscles tomorrow.
As the one responsible for the platoon's health, I'll at least provide massage and cooling to Salsa.
He's my precious meat shield after all.
[You awake, Second Class Private Salsa?]
[W- What the matter, it's the matter of the night.]
It was still dark, deep into the night.
I was awakened from my sleep when I heard a rustling noise around me.
[Fwaaahh. Working hard even at night, thank you for your hard work, Senpais. Is there a mission?]
[Geh, Touri-chan woke up too.]
[...?]
When I looked up, I saw several squad members, including Grey-senpai, waking up a drowsy-looking Salsa.
It was late at night, around midnight. The trench's bonfire had already gone out, and all the soldiers should be asleep.
[Second Class Medic Touri has awakened. How may she assist you?]
[Ah...]
I jumped out of bed, thinking that someone was injured or that we had orders for a nighttime strategy...
The Senpais though, including Grey-san, looked like they had somehow blundered.
Come to think of it, it wasn't like I was woken up by them.
Was this perhaps a top-secret mission they're doing, of which they're only including Private Salsa in?
[Errr, are we conducting a night raid? Would you mind giving me some time for weapon inspection?]
[Ah, no, that's not it. It's not a mission.]
[Well then, how may we assist you?]
[...Ahh. Errr, uhh, First Class Infantry Grey. Explain.]
[You're dumping this at me!? ...Well...]
The Senpais who were questioned about their business here were somewhat panicking.
...The atmosphere around them, it doesn't seem like we're gonna conduct a mission. I think I'm getting an idea of what's going on.
[Well, our Platoon Leader can be quite hard on the newcomers. Salsa must be stressed too, so we were thinking of relieving some of that stress and giving him a chance to vent.]
[Just me? Touri was also quite...]
[Read the room, Salsa. You're a guy, right? Those things build up, right?]
[...Ah.]
Hearing those few words, Salsa looked like he himself realized what he meant.
It really is that huh. They're gonna have a boy's only bonding.
[Ah, I see. Errr, ah, then, ummm...]
[...]
There's a very apologetic atmosphere around us.
Initiating a romantic relationship with female soldiers is a violation of military regulations. However, in a constant life-threatening situation, I've heard that a person's instincts can become heightened, leading to increased sexual desires.
I guess they would need some time to moderately vent their sexual desires. They definitely must have some explicit photos or magazines hidden somewhere.
[...I don't know what you're talking about, but since it doesn't seem like you had any business with me, I'll go back to sleep.]
[O- Ohh. Somehow, I'm sorry, Touri.]
[Just don't sleep in tomorrow, Salsa.]
Ahh, that was a blunder. The air around them feels very awkward because I woke up.
I pretended not to realize anything, turned away, and went back to sleep.
[Hmm. If you're already awake, how about joining us, Touri-chan?]
[Gheokk!?]
Just when I returned to a sleeping position, I reflexively choked over at Grey-senpai's words.
What the heck is this guy saying?
[Wait, Senpai?]
[No, I mean, you've already guessed it. Touri-chan is 15 years old, right? Aren't you at the age where you feel curious about perverted stuff?]
This Senpai is seriously inviting me to something like that with an innocent look on his face.
Inviting a woman to read porn, the heck is he even thinking.
That would definitely just turn things incredibly awkward.
[N- No, I'll refrain myself———–]
[Medic girls also occasionally offer such services, you know? They do that for some extra pocket money.]
Medics are selling their bodies.
Those words made me involuntarily turn around, stirring me awake.
[W- What do you mean by that, First Class Infantry Grey-dono.]
[There are hardly any girls on the battlefield. The girls from nearby towns regularly come here to sell their bodies, but blending in with them were female Medics and Craftsmen, also taking part in prostitution————-]
[W- Wait a minute, what about military discipline? I'm aware that that is a violation of the military discipline.]
[Ahhh, engaging in acts that could lead to pregnancy really is considered a violation, but using orifices like the mouth or hands is legal. Additionally, activities between men are also legal.]
[Wha!?]
It seems that my assumptions were still quite naive.
At most, I thought the platoon members would just gather during the night and read porn together.
However, these guys were planning to do something more perverted than I expected.
[Even Platoon Leader Garback has given his tacit approval for prostitution. Well, I got beaten up when I invited him the other day though.]
[I heard rumors that the current Head Medic, Gale-san, had apparently used to participate in the prostitution business.]
[That erotic woman? Gah, how nice. I envy those who were active at that time.]
[...…]
Ahhh, I don't wanna hear about this.
Such rumors about the Head Medic, whom I highly respect, I don't want to believe any of that.
It's true that Gale-san is extremely beautiful. If those rumors were true, I would be quite shocked.
[Ahh, Senpais. I think we're troubling Touri, so let's just leave it at that.]
[Well, I guess this isn't the kind of thing you talk to girls about huh. I'm sorry, making you hear such strange things.]
[N- No... I would appreciate it if you don't talk about that kind of thing with me in the future.]
[Touri's still young, you know, she's still 15 years old. Let's hold off on the indecent discussions, Senpai.]
Salsa-kun very considerately covered up for me. Good job.
I've heard that men become vulgar once they're in the military, but is it really to the point that they've lost their tactfulness?
No matter what circumstances they have, "Have you considered prostituting yourself?" is never something you say to a woman.
[I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Touri-chan has always been expressionless, so I got the feeling that you might say something like "I don't really mind" with a straight face.]
[What kind of person do you think I am...]
The reason I'm expressionless is that I'm unable to laugh due to the stress of being in a war zone.
When I was living in the orphanage, I used to smile a lot.
[Come on, Senpai, let's go already. Touri, you just have a good rest.]
[Yes, I'll take your word for it then.]
[Now then, let's have a good time after a long time!]
[Let's have some fun.]
[Ahahaha... ha.]
As the Senpais, vulgar smiles on their faces (and Salsa with a drawn-out smile) left, I looked away at them with a dumbfounded look on my face.
Salsa-kun. Please don't get influenced by these weirdos and lose your tactfulness too.
If I have to listen to obscene jokes on a daily basis, I will definitely get sick.
[...Fuwaahhh.]
I was slightly annoyed that I had lost so much sleep, so I just let myself fall back into deep sleep.
Ahh, the ground is cold again today.
[Sniff, sniff... I can't become a groom anymore.]
[...….]
The next morning.
When I woke up, Salsa-kun, who was already awake, was crying with his eyes red and swollen.
He was holding his buttocks.
[...Ummm. What did the Senpais do to you, Salsa?]
[A- Ahahahaha. Last night, Grey tricked Salsa into storming into the homo dudes' room naked.]
[We thought he was gonna come out right away, but it seems he was caught, and well...]
[Please don't remind me of that!]
...Ahh, hmmm.
[It's alright, Second Class Private Salsa. Regardless of what happened to you, I will never be prejudiced against you.]
[Touri has the kindest expression I've ever seen!? No, wait, I managed to protect the final line!]
I see, so that's why Salsa-kun has been holding his butt for a while now.
I did hear how there are a lot of guys who swing that way that join the military, and young guys would be very popular among them.
[Well, cheer up, okay? We'll properly treat you next time, Salsa.]
[That joke last night was too much. My bad.]
[I'll never trust you Senpais again!]
And just like that, the first victory celebration on the battlefield concluded with Salsa-kun having suffered a great deal of emotional trauma.
After a major victory like we had yesterday, these kinds of gatherings are often organized as a way for soldiers to let off steam.
Many soldiers even say they live for this small amount of pleasure.
[...…. By the way, Salsa, how many people have you had such connections with...?]
[I didn't have such connections with anyone! I was just felt up by them! I kept my chastity!]
With tears in his eyes, he continued to strongly insist on his purity.
Personally though, I would be relieved if Salsa-kun's inclinations would start leaning towards guys.
[My body is still chaste!]
[...I see. It must have been painful huh.]
[Can you not look at me with those kind eyes!?]
As expected, Madness really swirls on the battlefield.
It was a day later when I truly realized that.