Life in the [Shadow Realm] was extreme.
Mornings were hellish training where blood and flesh splattered, afternoons another battlefield called the kitchen.
But by the time the hellish training ended and evening meal preparations began, a certain tranquility settled even over this cold, oppressive demiplane.
Kay stood at the cutting board, humming to himself.
He held a kitchen knife in hand, and on the board lay a grotesque chunk of beast flesh that [Scáthach] had brought.
"Hey, Master. Are you sure this meat is safe to eat? Why is the blood blue? If I die from eating this, it's on you."
Kay poked the meat with a queasy expression, grumbling.
Even if he was going to get a beating anyway, Kay's nature wouldn't let him stop speaking his mind.
"Stop the whining and just cook. Once you remove the poison sinew, the meat will be tender."
[Scáthach] was leaning back nearby, propping her chin on a hand.
A cup of wine sloshed in her other hand. In centuries of solitude, her sole amusement now became watching this insolent pupil grumble as he cooked.
"Easy for you to say. If I poke the wrong spot and it bursts, my hand flies off. So, what do you want to eat today? I'm taking menu requests."
Kay deftly slid the blade, separating the beast's venomous sinew and tossing it aside.
"Hmm…"
[Scáthach]'s crimson eyes stared into the void as she fell into serious contemplation, looking more pensive than when plotting battle tactics.
"That fried dish you made last time—crispy on the outside, the juices bursting inside—that's what I want."
"Ah, sweet-and-sour pork. Got it. I happen to have a pork-like cut, so I'll make it. But there's a condition: absolutely no drowning it in sauce today. Dip it. Didn't I warn you?"
"Why do you keep interfering with your master's eating methods? I like a coating soaked in sweet sauce, tender and moist."
"The soul of frying is the crispiness! If you're going to pour sauce on it, why bother frying? Might as well boil it in water! Don't desecrate crispiness!"
With the kitchen knife in hand, Kay ranted angrily, spittle flying. This was his unshakable philosophy of dipping.
"Quiet. Don't you dare mouth off when your master says she'll pour it on. Are your ribs healed enough from today's training?"
[Scáthach] narrowed her eyes and toyed with [Gáe Bolg] planted in the ground, a chilling aura radiating around her.
"…Tch. Do as you please. Might makes right. But if you complain later about it going soggy and losing flavor, I'll flip the table."
Kay pouted, turned around, and stoked the fire in the hearth.
For a conversation between a legendary death goddess and the disciple risking life in training, the squabble was absurdly mundane and juvenile.
But [Scáthach] silently smiled at Kay's grumbling back.
For centuries, those who faced her were always one of two kinds.
Either trembling in fear and prostrating themselves, or charging at her like beasts to prove their strength.
This cheeky underling was the first to hurl everyday complaints at her, even nag over how she ate.
Well, excluding this one disciple, a few others like [Cú Chulainn] or [Fergus] had done so in the past.
But that was hundreds of years ago. No matter that she's an immortal witch, centuries ago feels like a distant past.
"Not bad. I can smell life."
[Scáthach] drained the rest of her wine in one gulp. Even waiting for the cooking to be done was a strange but pleasant stimulation for her.
Afterwards, since it was still preparation time, [Scáthach] went off to attend to something.
Having finished the meal prep to a certain extent, Kay headed to the back of the fortress to wash his sweat-soaked body before cooking. There was still some time before dinner, and fried food tastes best when done last.
The [Shadow Realm] was a barren place steeped in deathly energy, yet there was a bathhouse heated by the earth's heat through [Scáthach]'s rune magic. For Kay, it was the only oasis to wash away a day's exhaustion.
"Ahh, I feel alive again. My body really took a beating."
Kay rolled his aching shoulders and tossed his clothes off into a basket.
His body was covered in scabs and dark bruises. Especially around his forearm, where he'd narrowly blocked [Scáthach]'s kick this morning, sensation was nearly gone.
"That damned witch… her kick was like a siege engine. Are her bones made of iron?"
As he grumbled and stepped into the bath filled with thick steam, that very moment...
...Huh?
With the sound of water and dissipating steam, an unbelievable sight unfolded.
Smooth, translucent skin and the nude form with flawless curves that no sculptor, even in a lifetime, could replicate.
[Scáthach] lay immersed in the water, her long hair a deep violet like the night sky.
"Uh... ugh?!"
Kay froze like a stone statue.
His mind went white. His heart pounded wildly as if about to burst out of his throat.
No matter how close they'd become with their bickering and easy camaraderie, facing a legendary queen's nakedness head-on was an entirely different matter.
"...Kay, is that you?"
[Scáthach] lazily turned her head.
An ordinary woman would have screamed or hidden under water, raining curses. At the very least, she'd show signs of embarrassment.
But she was the strongest Celtic warrior and mistress of the demiplane. The concept of shame or embarrassment itself was on a different plane from ordinary humans.
"Oh my, I was already in here. You really lack tact."
Far from flustered, she even leaned her upper body out of the water and spoke with ease.
Her ample breasts, narrow waist above the waterline, and water droplets glistening on her collarbones plunged into Kay's sight with violence.
"Aaaaaah!! I-I'm, I'm so sorry!!"
Kay's face turned bright red as if to burst, and he jumped up, hands clamped over his eyes.
"I covered my eyes! I didn't see anything! I swear! Please spare me the assassination techniques! I haven't even finished frying the sweet-and-sour pork!!"
"Oh?"
[Scáthach] raised the corner of her mouth, amused by Kay's intense reaction as he trembled covering his eyes with both hands.
She splashed and walked out to the shallow edge. Water droplets dripped down her dazzling nude form.
"What's all the fuss, boy? To a warrior, the body is nothing but a shell of bone, flesh, and muscle—a weapon."
"N-no! Still, there's a difference between men and women... no, between master and student, this crosses the line!! Even in [Britain], in a situation like this, swords would be drawn for sure!!"
Kay backed away desperately with his eyes covered, only to find his back against a cold rock wall. His escape was blocked.
"Hmph. You narrow-minded fool. My body would not be overshadowed even by the greatest statue crafted by gods. A warrior of [Ulster] would show reverence and praise upon seeing this beautiful form. Don't hide—open your eyes properly."
[Scáthach] walked fully out of the water and came right up to Kay's nose.
Drops fell from her wet hair, the scent of her skin sweet and heady, and her strange, hypnotic crimson eyes.
"Open your eyes, Kay."
"N-no! If I open them, you'll stab me with your spear!"
"It's an order. Admire your master's body."
At the resolute, astounding command, Kay hesitated, slightly parting his fingers.
Before his eyes remained the perfect nakedness of a goddess, unblemished by even a hint of shame.
Her overwhelming, otherworldly beauty even quelled the basest thoughts swelling like an adolescent boy, replacing them with awe.
"...Really, you don't have a single scar on your body."
It was Kay's innocent observation, uttered without self-awareness.
[Scáthach] let out a soft chuckle and ran her hand over her smooth shoulder and arm.
"There are few weapons in this world that could pierce my skin. And even if they did, I could use primal runes to erase any trace. How do I look? Quite alluring, don't you think?"
She wore a mischievous smile as she leaned close to Kay's ear. Her wet bare chest brushed lightly against his bare torso.
"So? Do you want to hold me?"
"...!!"
Steam seemed poised to rise from Kay's face.
"W-what are you saying! I've never even been in a relationship! Don't say strange things!"
"Hm? What's this, were you a virgin?"
"Of course! I was busy taking care of my sisters, no time for dating or anything! Or did you think I was some brute?!"
"Hmm~ They say among the Germans, those who keep their virginity are hailed as great heroes. The same in [Ulster]. Those who keep their purity are called champions of remarkable willpower."
"Champion my foot! Anyway, I'm leaving!"
Kay let out a scream and grabbed a single towel from the basket before sprinting away at full speed.
He ran so frantically he almost face-planted at the entrance.
"Hahaha!!"
[Scáthach]'s hearty, delightful laughter echoed through the steamed bathhouse.
"What a cutie. Fergus was practically desperate to hold me, yet here I thought this fellow was only average with the blade—he's hopeless as a man as well."
The queen swept her wet hair back in good spirits and immersed herself in the warm water again.
The eternally monotonous time, always repeating the same cycle, was colored in many hues thanks to this timid, grumbling disciple Kay.
And so, dinner time arrived.
On the stone table, mountain-high heaps of sweet-and-sour pork that Kay had painstakingly fried were piled up.
But between the two who normally bickered, a strange silence and awkwardness lingered.
Kay kept his head bowed low, picking at just his share with his chopsticks.
The shocking situation from earlier was lodged stubbornly in his mind. Even closing his eyes, he could still see those perfect curves.
"This is driving me insane. I can't tell if I'm eating through my nose or mouth. How is that witch unfazed?"
Scáthach, on the other hand, was as relaxed as ever. No, she looked even more pleased than usual.
She picked up a piece of crispy fried meat, grinned, and lifted the bowl of sweet-and-sour sauce in one go.
Then, right before Kay's eyes, she poured the sauce in a torrent over the heap of fried pieces.
"Hey!! What are you doing!! I told you not to pour it!!"
"My pleasure. Sweet-and-sour pork tastes best when thoroughly soaked in sauce like this."
[Scáthach] put a piece of the now-soggy fry into her mouth.
Munch
"Mm, this is the taste. The juices and sauce blend for a very tender bite. Aren't you eating?"
"…I'm not. A fry that's lost its crispiness is a dead dish. You can have it all."
Kay grumbled in a small voice and set down his chopsticks. [Scáthach] propped her chin and, looking at his reddened ears, her mischievousness flared.
"Why so down? Earlier in the bath you couldn't take your eyes off me and blushed, now why the bowed head? Can't swallow the meat?"
Pft! Kay sprayed his drink, eliciting a choking fit of coughs.
"Koff, koff! Who said I couldn't look away?! I was desperately covering my eyes, and you forced me to open them!"
"Hmph. You're not normally this embarrassed. I guess being overwhelmed by my figure made you look pathetic, reduced to frying meat?"
"Am I some pervert?! I'm from [Britain]! Back home, you'd go straight to prison or lose your head to the Knights!"
"This is my domain, so follow the rules of [Ulster] and my laws."
[Scáthach] raised her cup and laughed seductively.
"Now, to a toast—for the first wimpy disciple who survived gazing upon my beautiful body."
"...Toasting be damned. Next time, I'll load the dish with poisonous mushrooms."
Kay pouted but played along, lifting his wooden cup to clink with her golden one.
Clink!
The cheerful clink shattered the demiplane's silence.
A strange undercurrent blossoming beyond master and student amid hellish training.
Who knows what will happen next.
Two years later.
There had been many similar situations, and it was when three years had passed since Kay arrived in the demiplane.
"Today, I'll land a solid hit and claim that reward."
"Claim a reward, huh? Heh heh, still a beast."
"What are you talking about?"
A stronger-than-ever Kay stood before [Scáthach]. The two of them held a rough-hewn sword and a crude spear.
Kay's strength had grown far beyond when he first entered the demiplane. Though his arms could easily be mistaken for those of a hulking powerhouse, [Scáthach] adjusted his runes to prevent excessive bulk, channeling his growth into dense, compressed muscles that maintained a lean form.
Hence his physique looked the same, but the substance within had changed, evident from the aura he exuded.
"Heh heh, come. Hero of [Britain]. Today, I'll test whether your attack will reach me."
"Here I go!"